Tag: F

Spanking Tips

For anyone with an inclination towards spanking, I’d direct your attention to this post by Eris Martinet. It’s described as tips for beginners, but frankly I think it’s a useful refresher for anyone who likes administering a spanking. I’ve had a few sessions where a quick review of this beforehand would have brought benefits.

In particular I’d highlight the need for a good warm up. That often gets cut short. In corporal sessions I frequently find that spanking is generally treated as a warm up in itself. As Ms Martinet makes clear, even a straightforward hand spanking requires a proper warm up period to get the submissive into the right mental and physical space.

This image is from Eris Martinet’s twitter feed. It’s not a spanking specific one, but I love it for her stance, attitude and overall fabulous look. If you’d like to experience a spanking delivered by a real expert then her professional site is here.

Tease as the Core

The Porte-à-Vie site has published an insightful interview with Mistress Iris. It covers topics such as the definition of a dominatrix, the relationship between kink and daily life, the attraction of BDSM, etc. What really caught my eye was when Mistress Iris addressed the subject of her specialty…

Tease is at the core of my sexuality. What electrifies me is the exquisite expression of pure desperation. The moment a person can no longer compose their facade any longer– when their dignity, their sense of self goes out of the window and they begin to beg and plead– that’s when I have the most power over them. It’s orgasmic.

As someone lucky enough to have played with Mistress Iris in the past (for example here and here), I can attest to her skill at teasing. I think a lot of dommes treat tease as a path to intense physical activities. It’s a way to get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing before the nipple clamps and needles come out. Mistress Iris makes tease an end in itself and, as I wrote recently, I think tease and denial can be just as psychologically intense as any masochistic session.

When done expertly, teasing and edging can feel more out of control than simple pain. After all, one can always safeword out of pain. There’s no shame in stopping a heavy beating when you reach a limit. But how can you safeword out of not getting something? The whole point is that maybe, just maybe, if you stick with it, you’ll be rewarded (but probably not). Stopping doesn’t help you. Continuing makes it worse. It’s a truly beautiful dilemma.

This is from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here.

The Maths Checks Out

Last week I wrote a post claiming that London was probably ground zero for kinky submissives seeking pro-dommes. You can obviously have a fabulous time in any part of the world, but for a location with the greatest accessibility to the largest number of dommes, it is hard to beat London.

I thought about doing some maths to back up the theory, but ran into a seemingly insurmountable problem. Specifically the problem of me being lazy and that analysis requiring work. Fortunately, a very helpful comment from sobrinoir, pointed me at this post, which provides a list of countries ranked by the number of pro-dommes per capita.  As I suspected, the UK ranks right at the top, with 1 pro-domme per 105,000 people, significantly ahead of countries like Germany and the US.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that the science behind the ranking is more than a little shaky. It’s based on pro-domme counts just a single source – Domina Guide – and a casual inspection of their links show a lot that are dead or outdated. It’s also badly skewed towards Western countries. I find it hard to believe that Japan has just 14 pro-dommes, as the guide appears to claim. Yet despite those issues, I think it is interesting data. The fact that the UK has a roughly comparable number of pro-dommes listed as the US does, while being one sixth the size in population is kind of amazing.

This is the London based Mistress Miranda, with an image from her twitter feed. She’s an expert in bondage and heavy medical play, and her feed features images from some wonderfully intense looking scenes.

50 Shades of Lavender

Literally seconds after I read this Vice article on a new trend for cute BDSM toys and pastel colored fetish gear, the image below showed up in my twitter feed (via this tweet). I think that’s enough evidence to make it official. 2019 is the year of lavender whips, pink cuffs and beige harnesses. Anyone still going old school with black and red is like totally out of date. Until next month anyway.

In all seriousness, fashion designers often seem do a terrible job of adapting BDSM attire into their clothes. This outfit by Dion Lee, and the others featured in Lady Grace’s tweet, are a rather excellent exception. Elegant, with beautiful clean lines, but still retaining the BDSM aesthetic. They were created in collaboration with Fleet Ilya.

Flying Back

I’m writing this midway between Washington State and the United Kingdom. Below me is 30,000 feet of air, a jet plane and a sore bottom, in that order. The former is courtesy of Boeing, the latter courtesy of Adreena Angela and her cane. There are as many different approaches to femdom as there are dommes, but one thing is always consistent: If you session just before you fly, expect a caning.

Playing with Mistress Adreena proved to be a great way to both start and finish my UK trip. It was ridiculously hot for my final days in London, making everything very sweaty and sticky. Normally that would be a bad thing, but in certain situations and with the right set of kinks, it can actually be a bonus. I love scent play, so having her damp armpit smooshed into my face was a little slice of sweaty heaven. Mistress Adreena was also careful to keep us both thoroughly hydrated, although my liquids came to me via an indirect and secondhand route.

If you’re interested in scheduling a session, Mistress Adreena’s professional site is available here. At the time of writing, twitter has somehow managed to screw-up her account, but her instagram is available here (source for the above picture).

North of the Border

The family part of my trip has ended and I’ve headed North to meet up with some friends who have flown in from the US. Specifically I’m in Glasgow (just for a day) and then then Western coast of the Scottish lowlands. It has been an eye opening experience. Or, more accurately, an ear opening experience. I never realized just how sexy the Scottish accent is. I’ll talk to random people in restaurants and shops and be captivated by it. I’m usually a quiet introvert, but I find myself chatting to people more just because their accent is so damn attractive.

My social schedule and limited time in Glasgow has prevented me from setting up any kinky encounters, which I’m now deeply regretting. There are a lot of talented dommes here I’d love to spend time with. Miss Marilyn is one of them, and you can hear her fabulous accent in the video series she’s doing for the BBC on kink. I covered the first one in a past post here and you can hear the second video here.

This image is from Miss Marilyn’s twitter feed.  Her professional site for scheduling sessions is here.

Information Leakage

Combing a perverted lifestyle with electronic devices and an extended family visit can have its problems. You never know when some random notification or lurking browser window is going to appear on screen at an unfortunate moment. It’s particularly tricky when you’re used to living alone and browsing random filth whenever you feel like it. Several times I’ve found myself absent-mindedly firing up twitter while hanging out with elderly family members, which isn’t good when 90% of your twitter feed is kink.

My closest call so far was a scenario that never cross my mind as being dangerous – linking my phone to the hire car I have. I was taking my Mom somewhere and we wanted to call someone. So I paired my phone over bluetooth and impatiently pressed yes, yes, yes to all the prompts. One of which was related to importing contacts. I then start scrolling the list to find the family member we want to call. Unfortunately my contacts are full of women’s names that my Mom has never heard me mention. Many of them beginning with things like Mistress, Domina or Madame. All this is coming up on the big touch screen in the center of the car. It was lucky we were stationary at the time, otherwise I might have crashed into the nearest hedge. I muttered something about internet email spam and killed it quickly, but I’ve no idea if she missed the details or decided she’d much rather not know them.

This is Mistress Mara Mayhem, one of the dommes in my contacts. The good news is that she’s listed simply by name, with no D/s title. The bad news is that it’s the kind of unique name liable to attract attention and curiosity if it’s ever spotted. Hopefully my Mom didn’t catch it or think to Google it.

Mistress Mara is based in Chicago and if you’d like to session with her there, her professional site is here.

A Session with Adreena

My UK trip has migrated north, from partying in London to spending time with family in Warwickshire. My opportunities for kink have thus been temporarily curtailed. However, before I left London, I was lucky enough to meet and play with Mistress Adreena Angela.

One of the great things about Twitter is being able to get a sense of someone before you meet them. It’s obviously an imperfect and distorted view, but it has sometimes helped me figure out who I might connect well with. From Mistress Adreena’s feed I got the impression of someone who played with a positive energy and enjoyed tease, denial and the wonderful frustration of intimacy that’s so near…yet so far away. Those are dynamics I love, particularly when mixed with  a side-order of sadism, and the result was a great first session together.

One particularly enjoyable element was her use of extended eye contact. A lot of dommes use this to some extent, but I’ve never played with one who pushes it as hard as Mistress Adreena does. I’m sure it helps that she has absolutely gorgeous eyes. With my adrenaline and endorphins flowing, it was easy to temporarily lose my sense of self in her gaze. In normal circumstances I’d get embarrassed or shy and look away, but ironically the act of submission actually makes it easier for me to maintain eye contact. It changes a challenge into an acceptance.

This shot of Mistress Adreena shows off those beautiful eyes as well as some of her equally impressive tattoos. For sessions she plays out of her own well equipped space in London. If you’re interested in a professional session then her site with the contact process is here.

Heading to the Old Country

I’m flying back to the UK tomorrow for a fairly lengthy vacation. Blogging may therefore be a bit erratic over the coming weeks, depending of factors such as jetlag, partying, proximity of family members to my laptop, etc.

I do have some kinky play lined up, although not as much as I would have liked. If I’m in LA or NYC for a few days on my own, it’s pretty easy to schedule sessions with different dommes. In the UK I have to coordinate with multiple sets of friends and family, none of whom expect me to be disappearing for a few hours to get beaten, pierced or peed on.

On the plus side, it’ll be good to see the country again before Boris has a chance to wreck it. I’ll be spending a decent portion of my time relaxing in the beautiful countryside of both England and Scotland. I’ve no kinky plans for that section, which is a shame, as British ladies and outdoor pursuits can have some interesting kinky possibilities.

I found this in an old tumblr archive. A bit of research got me to this photoset featuring a model named Natalie, shot by the photographer Cannizzaro aka The Booted Cat.