F – Page 19 – Femdom Resource

Final Thoughts on Two Kinkster Problem

This isn’t particularly femdom, but I think it’s interesting, so allow me to return one more time to the thought experiment I described previously.

It was actually inspired by a study Jonathan Haidt described in his book The Righteous Mind (which I’ve mentioned before). He came up with a set of scenarios that violated social norms in fairly disgusting ways, but didn’t actual cause any harm. For example, a man buys a chicken in a grocery store, takes it home and has sex with it before cooking and eating it. Is that morally wrong? Another one featured a family whose pet dog was run over, and rather than simply bury it, they cooked and ate it. He discovered that general disgust at the scenarios was universal, but that moral judgement varied. Wealthy liberal Westerners, brought up to believe in the primacy of the individual, tended to say nothing was wrong if no one was harmed. Almost everyone else outside that specific narrow group took the opposite view. They treated these major violations of social conventions as moral violations. Haidt went on to point out that the liberal western viewpoint of putting the individual first is actually the exception, both through history and in the world today.

I didn’t actually describe a scenario for Mary or Sam, but it’s pretty easy to come up with one that’d fit Haidt’s study. Imagine if they were roleplaying an actual lynching from the Jim Crow era South. I’d expect (hope) that people would find that disgusting but, assuming they never take it beyond the two of them in their playspace, there is no obvious harm to point at. From a purely Utilitarian viewpoint, they’re happy and nobody else is affected. Of course, the assumption that they can 100% compartmentalize their kinks is a big and questionable one.

Given that my readership skews to Western liberal (in the general rather than political sense) and given what I’d read in Haidt’s book, I predicted that most people would think Mark and Sam can’t do any moral harm in the original thought experiment. That did indeed seem to be consensus. I fit that mold myself. But it’s interesting to reflect that it’s an unusual viewpoint. The majority of people across the world and through history would not share it.

As I’ve said before, it’s tough to come up with an image for these kind of posts. Controversial activities tend to have controversial images. I’m going with an old shot from an ageplay scene in Taboo magazine. I’m not ageplay fan myself, but something about this image always worked for me.

Side effects

Weird question of the week for my readers: Has anyone done a flogging or whipping scene that left their skin incredibly itchy?

Playing in LA last week, I did a scene featuring a fairly heavy flogging and a moderate whipping. It left me with some beautiful marks on my upper back, but it also left that whole area very rough and itchy. Given its inaccessible location for scratching, that makes it particularly frustrating. I’m guessing the skin was dry from the LA heat, and then damaged enough by the heavy flogger to trigger the wound healing itch reaction. It’s kind of odd however, as I’ve never had this kind of reaction before, and certainly nothing that lasts this long. Really hoping I’m not suddenly developing an allergy to leather. That would really cramp my play options.

Given the topic of leather and whips, this striking photograph of Mistress Adrienne of NYC seems an appropriate one to feature. Whatever I was hit with, it was nothing as fearsome as that particular single tail.

The Self Sustaining Pain Reaction

My kink-tastic LA 2018 tour (fall edition) continues apace. Yesterday I was lucky enough to get to play with Mistress Damiana Chi. Flogging, whipping, heavy bondage and CBT all had their opportunity to feature in the proceedings. Also screams, yowls, groans and whimpers.

Mistress Damiana was kind enough to snap a few images of me mid-torment. This shows saran wrap bondage, with layers of rope added on top, all based on suspended bondage board. The design of the board is quite clever, as the ropes quickly snap into the eyelets on the side, making it relatively fast to rig. You can see another angle here, showing the legs are wrapped and immobilized separately. The bondage and the gentle swaying movement of the suspended board was quite relaxing, which is more than can be said for the CBT devices deployed.

The metal ring around the cock (show in this close-up) is a Kali’s teeth type device. I think the general idea is to prevent erections by creating pain as the cock swells. That’s clearly a flawed design when masochists get involved. Pain = Exciting = Engorging = Pain. It’s basically the self-sustaining fusion reaction scientists have been searching for all the years, just with the output being endless whimpering rather than clean energy. Fortunately, the spiked vice on the balls was uncomfortable enough to damp down the effect, and prevent a runaway reaction and a critical penis mass. Nobody wants to deal with that kind of fallout.

This photograph of Mistress Damiana Chi is from her site. You can also follow here on twitter here.

Kitty O’Neil

Welcome to another post in my occasional series on women who were awesome without necessarily being dominant in the BDSM sense. In the past this series has included motorcycle racers, resistance fighters, film stars and aristocratic swashbucklers. The newest entrant into this series is all around daredevil and badass Kitty O’Neil, who died recently aged 72.

You might not know the name, but the odds are you’ve seen her in action at some point. She was the stuntwoman for the original Wonder Woman TV series, as well as movies like the Blues Brothers and Smokey and the Bandit. She also set water speed records (275 mph), water skiing records (105 mph), land speed records (512 mph average, peaking at 621 mph) and participated in tough off road races like the Baja 500 and Mint 400. If all that wasn’t enough, she did it after overcoming spinal meningitis in her teens and two bouts of cancer in her 20’s. Oh, and she was also deaf, thanks to a childhood combo of measles, mumps and smallpox. What an amazing woman.

This is Kitty performing a 127 foot dive from a hotel balcony for the Wonder Woman TV show.

Book Club

I’ve had a variety of book related links come my way recently, so I thought I’d gather and share them via a post.

Ferns has published volume 2 of her Happy Femdom Stories. She’s shared a series of these on her blog and they always put a big smile on my face. There’s a huge amount of fantasy and professional femdom content online, but very few positive stories about real femdom relationships, so I love what Ferns is doing here.

Domina Jen is working on a book of her own and using Patron to support it. Check that out if you enjoy her writing and want to interact with her as the novel progressed.

Miranda Birch sent me a link to her site and asked if I’d feature her femdom fiction here. She has a large back catalog of work covering all sorts of kinky femdom scenarios, so that might be worth a look if you’re after new erotica.

Finally, I enjoyed this article on the passage of the bill that decriminalized sex work in New Zealand. There’s an associated book ‘My Body, My Business‘, featuring the stories of sex workers and their thoughts on the industry that’s due out later this month. That’s one to add to my Christmas list.

This pin-up librarian is by the American artist Gil Elvgren.

Lady of Mystery

I believe it’s compulsory around this time of year for blogs like this to post a sexy Halloween picture. It’s part of the contract you sign with the domain registrar. Or possibly the web hosting company. Somebody certainly requires it if you want to go on blogging.

I’ve done my bit in the past, but I generally not a happy Halloween participant. So here’s something a little different to the usual big breasted horror movie character. While not an obvious mystical theme, I think the woman has a mysterious dark witchiness to her. She looks like she might have a beautiful modern house, with an extensive underground wine cellar, and you should pay no attention to the oddly out-of-place iron manacles or the strange chalk markings on the floor down there. Now run along and fetch her another bottle of that dark claret she loves so much.

This is by the artist Jn3 and you can see a lot more of his elegant work on his tumblr ‘Lost in the Echo‘. You can also buy prints here.

Fear at the Front Desk

I have a secret fear of checking out of hotels. Particularly if there’s a big line of people at the desk. Each time as I go to slide across the key, I give a little nervous smile and try not to catch the hotel employee in the eye. I always picture them fiddling around on their computer and then saying “Ahhh, yes sir. You were in that room. We’d be obliged if you didn’t make any future bookings at our hotel.”

I’m obviously shocked at this statement, but as I start to protest they look me straight in the eye and loudly say “You know what you did. We all heard the noises! The young couple in the next room were most disturbed. We told them the screams were just a loud horror movie you were watching, but I know what that young lady was doing to you! You should be ashamed.”

Of course this has never happened and almost certainly never will. If hotels barred people for getting a little freaky in their rooms, then they’d have a lot of empty hotel rooms (with some exceptions). But that doesn’t stop me getting just that little bit nervous and sweaty when it comes time to pay the bill.

My most recent reason for this fear was an opportunity to play with Miss Margot of NYC in my hotel on the last full day of my trip. We had a blast, indulging in all sorts of great kinky activities. Like most NYC hotels the room was pretty small, but unlike most hotels, the bed had all sorts of useful tie points to take advantage of. That fact, combined with Miss Margot’s skills and travelling bag of rope and toys, made for a great way to spend a final afternoon in Manhattan. Hopefully we didn’t scare the other guests too badly.

This photograph of Margot doesn’t exactly fit my femdom theme, but I liked it so much I wanted to share it. It was taken by @ohgodwhy_me and shared via Margot’s twitter feed.

Miss Margot actually works as a professional switch, offering sessions as a bottom, sub, top or domme. I checked very carefully before leaving Seattle and, despite looking under the bed and down the back of the couch, still couldn’t find my dominant side. However, if you lean switchy and are looking for a versatile professional in NYC then you should definitely check out her site. And if you also fear the hotel front desk, I’m sure she could arrange a playspace for two of you.

And Now For Something Completely Different

I’ve been watching episodes from the original Monty Python television show (1969-74). The films and the famous sketches are now a familiar part of modern comedy culture, but it’s interesting to go back and look at the original work it all sprang from. The classics are still there of course, together with a fair number of gems that never quite made it beyond the TV episodes and a lot of dross that is probably best left forgotten. One thing that stands out in hindsight is their inability to write for women. Carol Cleveland does the best she can, but she’s basically used as an attractive prop. The guys got dragged up for any more interesting female roles.

I mention all this here because of a particular sketch – Marriage Guidance Counselor. I remember watching this as a young teenager and being strangely and strongly aroused by it. Admittedly, I was a young teenager in the days before internet porn, so the set of things that I found arousing was pretty large. A breeze striking my trouser region at the right angle would have worked, so Carole Cleveland in a low cut top definitely did the trick. However, there were a lot of other sketches featuring her or similarly attractive actresses, and none of those stuck in my mind like this one did. In hindsight, I wonder if the cuckold element resonated with me? It’d weird to think that, because at the time I had zero idea about kink, let along something as complex as cuckolding. Yet perhaps the fundamental idea of sex twisted by betrayal and denial was already lurking in my psyche? Was it a proto-kink waiting to be named and understood? Or was it was just that low cut top all along?

This is the beautiful Carol Cleveland herself, obviously in a non-Python promo shot.

Ice with Mistress Mara

My trip East got off to an excellent start, meeting up with Mistress Mara Mayhem in Chicago. We’ve played together several times in the past, so it was nice to catch up and get back into the rhythm of playing again.

She’d just purchased a lovely red vinyl ‘straitjacket’ that wrapped my arms and shoulders up but left the delicate body parts available for torturing and for binding. All manner of squeezing, slapping, pinching, scratching and tickling featured, along with a fair amount of growling and snarling from yours truly. If Mistress Mara’s spirit animal is cat then, judging by my mid-scene noises, mine is definitely a dog.

Probably the strongest reaction I had was to something as simple as a strategically placed ice cube. For some reason that made me laugh a lot, although I’m not totally sure why. It was a very instinctual response, almost like being tickled, but triggered by a very different skin sensation.

My thanks to Mistress Mara for a great start to my trip. I’m now in NYC, where hopefully more kinky shenanigans await.

Mistress Mara is a Chicago based pro-domme, although if you keep up with her twitter you’ll see she also tours as well.

Kinky Kayaking

I’ve posted in the past about the mainstream news using any excuse to work ‘dominatrix’ into a story headline as clickbait. Typically it’s a random and lazy fashion story like here. However, this time I really have to give credit to the Maritime Herald, because they had to get seriously creative for this one – A ‘Dominatrix’ Seal Whips a Man Using an Octopus Like a Whip. Whoever came up with that should be snapped up by a British tabloid, because their ‘skills’ are being wasted at the Maritime Herald.

You might have already seen the story in question. It was one of those cool nature videos that go viral on social media. Basically a seal decides to use a man as a suitably heavy object to bash an octopus against. It takes some real journalistic imagination to jump from there to a dominatrix seal. How do they know it was female seal? Do seals have kinks? If they do, why would they involve humans? Did the octopus have a safeword? Is it bestiality if the guy enjoyed it? So many questions…

Unsurprisingly, there aren’t many image featuring seals as dominatrices. So I’ll go with a sexy vintage scuba shot. Not sure how practical this is, but it’s certainly appealing. Maybe it’s this kind of outfit at the beach that’s given us kinky seals?