F – Page 22 – Femdom Resource

Pain and Pleasure in the Windy City

My vacation got off to a fantastic start playing with Mistress Mara Mayhem. Whimpering, grunting, growling and snarling were all featured at some point. Possibly I also moaned, but only in a satisfied ‘hit me again’ type way.

I find there’s a really interesting tipping point in corporal play, and reaching it is very dependent on the skill of the domme. If the escalation is too rapid or the intensity changes too erratic then the stress of the situation overwhelms the other emotions. It becomes very hard to zone out and relax into more intense sensations when you’re constantly on edge about what’s about to happen. On the other hand is the escalation is smooth and well judged it’s much easier to let the endorphins take over. It’s the difference between pain alone and pain as part of the dynamic between me and the domme. Too much too early is actually counter-productive in terms of building to a satisfying level of shared intensity. Needless to say Mistress Mara judged it perfectly in this session.

Of course we didn’t just indulge in corporal. There was also a fair amount of CBT involved as shown in this dick pic snap. As is usual, the removal of the various clips and clamps hurt a lot more than the initial application. Fortunately Mistress Mara ensured I was well hydrated for the session – in all sorts of different ways.

This was shot by Mistress Mara either just before or just after our session and featured on her twitter feed.

Staring down their noses at you

The haughty downward stare is a classic/cliche of the femdom genre. Similarly, the equestrian look, complete with jodhpurs, whips and spurs is another classic look. I’ve never seem them combined quite like this however. I guess that horses do come with certain inbuilt natural advantages when it comes to staring down their nose at you. Better hope he knows what a safeword is. Ballbusting takes on quite different connotations when there’s a horse in the scene.

This is the lovely Poppy De Monfort as shot by Hillchurch. While the horse might not do much for me personally, Poppy De Monfort does look quite striking in her equestrian or military gear.

Don’t be scared

Mistress Jadis has published some wise words for any submissives that are put off from playing with a particular pro-domme because of the intense images or descriptions she posts on social media. The basic gist of her post boils down to – don’t worry about it. The kinky world is a big one, whatever your experience level there’ll always be somebody out their doing something more extreme, and a domme will adjust and enjoy playing at whatever intensity is appropriate for you.

Browsing kinky social media can be entertaining, but I don’t think it’s particularly representative of the daily reality. If it was then 90% of pro-domme clients would be annoying assholes who cancel at the last minute, the other 10% being hard core bullwhip loving masochists who get locked in chastity 364 days a year. Fin-dommes would all make thousands of dollars every day, munch planning would always be a disaster and every relationship would either be amazing or a trainwreck. There’d be barely be time for actual kinky activity to happen.

My general observation is that the more experienced and skilled a domme is, the greater her ability to judge someones limits and provide a very gradual and controlled escalation of intensity. So the ability to build to a particularly intense scene is a good indicator for all levels of activity. And any professional who only wants to do extreme scenes is probably not going to be making a lot of money.

Ms Jadis is a Sydney based dominatrix with a social media presence here.

Zendaya of Arc

The recent Met Gala was themed around the Catholic imagination. I know for some people a combination of religious themes, high fashion and beautiful people would be a rich source of hot imagery, but religious iconography doesn’t do much for me. That is until I saw the outfit worn by Zendaya and created by Versace. Admittedly, given it’s based on Joan of Arc, it’s more historical than religious, but holy hell. What an incredible look. Not exactly ideal for riding into battle in, but great for wearing to the celebratory ball afterwards. I just wish she’d accessorized it with something sharp and spiky.

Fleeting Fantasy

I had a weird random fantasy today in the middle of a session. I was playing once again with the fabulous Domina Yuki and CBT was on the menu. Normally that’d be pretty much the only thing I’d be able to focus on. Having the head of my cock smacked with the handle of a whip will tend to get my attention like that. Yet in the middle of all this, I suddenly pictured myself as one of the hosts (robots) from HBO’s Westworld. I was brought to life for one of the guests to enjoy torturing and when it was over I’d be wiped and switched off, awaiting the next guest to arrive with a sadistic hankering.

In many ways it’s a standard objectification type scenario – the submissive treated as a plaything by an all powerful dominant. The interesting part to me was the idea of being deactivated when the pain ended. So the pain was life. As long as the pain continued, then so did I. There was only torture or a mindless blank eternity.

I’m not really sure what triggered this line of thought. Probably it was because I’m just rewatching the first season of Westworld (prior to starting the new season) and that Domina Yuki had piano music playing in the background to our scene. If you’ve not seen the show – and I highly recommend watching it – the soundtrack includes a lot of beautiful piano pieces, including some fun riffs on popular music tracks. It’s also possible I had this scene with Ms Hale lurking in my subconscious, although filtered through my own peculiar sexuality.

Talking of Westworld gives me an excuse to feature a shot of one of its stars – the amazing Thandie Newton. This fetishistic getup is from her role in the Chronicles of Riddick.

Don’t get cocky kid

I’m on vacation again. This time down in San Francisco. That means an opportunity to meet up again with some old domme friends and hopefully make some new ones. Much kinky fun should be forthcoming.

One thing I want to try and start to do on this trip is mentally re-focus my approach in sessions. I don’t want experience to turn into cockiness. My reaction to play over the years has constantly evolved, with responses that might be summarized as…

OMG! OMG! OMG! What is happening? Arrggghhh!
This is awesome, scary and I’ve a lot to learn.
OK. I think I’m getting the hang of this. If I focus and remember what I’ve learnt so far, I can push myself and develop my skills.
Pah! I laugh at your simple session activities. I’ve done much that is crazy and have no fear. I am uber-submissive, hear me roar.

I need to make sure I stick with (3) and don’t slip into (4). Learning something is useless unless it’s applied, and that application requires focus and awareness. I think I’ve sometimes assumed that past experience automatically translates into future success just because the relevant information is in my brain somewhere. That’s a bit like a musician turning up a concert and not bothering to play because he knows the songs. I need to be more active about applying, reassessing and building on what I’ve already learnt.

Serious thoughts aside, the fact I was on an airplane today, gives me an excuse to feature this shot of Mistress Iris. This was part of a recent series she did with a flight attendant theme.

Two Runners

Regular readers will know that I occasionally feature a post on women who aren’t necessarily dominant in the femdom sense (as far as I know), but who perform impressive feats and set an example in their field. Today’s example of such a post is a twofer, featuring a pair or runners.

Firstly, there’s this feelgood story of Susan Sellers, who just finished second in the Boston Marathon. It was only her second marathon, and she was a complete unknown, with no sponsors or agents. After a promising junior career, she picked up a major injury, causing her to quit running and take up a nursing job. Now, at age 26, she’s found quite a way to make a comeback with a second place in Boston.

That story put me in mind of Kathrine Switzer, the first woman to officially run the Boston Marathon in 1967. It seems incredible now, but women weren’t allowed to enter the race because organizers thought women were too ‘fragile’ to handle it. So she entered under the gender neutral name of K. V. Switzer and then relied on her boyfriend and her coach to block officials who tried to physically pull her out the race. Impressively, aged 70, she came back to run it again last year.

It wasn’t until 1972 that women were officially allowed to enter the race. The Boston Athletics Association director said of the 20 year old Switzer – “If that girl were my daughter, I would spank her.” I can only guess his bookshelves were filled with novels like the one below, and he considered himself in the front line of the fight against those evil feminists.

This book came out in 1971, and while the cover suggests it might fall into the ‘so bad it’s good’ category, this review suggests otherwise.

Naughty Nicki

I’ve mostly stopped clicking on links that purport to show me celebrities in dominatrix gear. Normally these links just lead me to someone wearing knee high boots or a leather jacket with a couple of extra buckles. Happily Nicki Minaj didn’t get that particular fashion memo, as she went for a full on dominatrix cliche. The only thing that’s missing here is a haughty stare down at a camera shooting from a lower angle.

Frankly, if I booked a session at a dungeon and the mistress turned up wearing this outfit, I’d think she was compensating for something. It’d look OTT even surrounded by chains, whips and a sex swing. It’s kind of surreal court side at a basketball game at the Staples center. I just hope she got to beat someone after the game.

A Double Dose

I’m fortunate that most of the feedback I receive for this blog is positive and appreciative. That said, there is one singular and common complaint that I find regularly jamming up my inbox. It generally follows the form of – ‘I love your witty writing and insight into kink. But why can’t we have more of it? One blog just isn’t enough! Can you please give us more of paltego?’

I find these kind of complaints somewhat annoying, but I also hate to disappoint anyone. So for this group of totally genuine and not at all imaginary people, I give you a lengthy interview with me on the blog of the fabulous Miss Ava Zhang.

In all seriousness, it was an interesting and enjoyable process to think through the questions Miss Zhang posed, as well as pleasure to hear her feedback. While I have this site as my personal soapbox, I try and keep posts here short and to the point. Writing in more detail forced me to clarify my thoughts and do a degree of self-analysis. That’s probably an exercise I could do with repeating more often.

Miss Zhang is based in NYC, but also tours regularly. I’ve not been lucky enough to session with her (yet!), but based on my interactions for this interview, I think she’d be an amazing person to know and submit to.

I love the blend of elegance, composure and just a touch of fetish in this shot. It’s from Miss Zhang’s gallery page.

Terminal

Fans of deadly femme fatales may want to look out for the movie Terminal staring Margot Robbie. I know basically nothing about it, other than the trailer features a very femme and very fatal looking Margot making wisecracks while shes tortures a man handcuffed to a bed. If you’re anything like me, that’ll put you first in the line when the movie comes out in May.

The image below is Margot doing her best haughty domme stare in a shot for V Magazine. If you’d like to see more of Margot in a PVC catsuit, there’s an image gallery from the shoot here.