Tag: F

Who are you?

This Gizmodo story is likely to strike fear into the heart of anyone who tries to maintain multiple and distinct identities on social media. A sex worker named Leilia had two separate Facebook accounts, one for her private life and one for her job. Despite keeping them distinct, with separate email and phone numbers, her friends and family account suddenly started suggesting her work clients as “People You Might Know.” Obviously Facebook’s algorithms had managed to link the data in someway and decided it was all one big happy social network.

Facebook coming up with surprising and unnerving friend suggestions isn’t a new story. This article, posted a few months ago, describes how it figured out the authors great aunt, despite the fact his father had been adopted as child and had no contact with that branch of the family. With the algorithms getting smarter, the amount of data online constantly growing, and neither of them easy to monitor or understand, I’m sure issues like this are going proliferate.

As a software guy, I find the situation somewhat perverse. Traditionally academic computer systems had very strong notions of user identity, because they were shared systems, where personal computers had no concept of it, because they weren’t powerful enough to support it. Companies like Microsoft and Apple worked for years to bring proper identify management and user isolation to PCs. No sooner had they achieved that goal – Windows XP being a major milestone – than smart phones, tablets and social media software arrived and turned everything into a inter-connected soup with no good way to managed different identities.

For now I suspect the only way to handle the problem is to not use the same social media platform with two different identities you wish to keep distinct. So if you have a Facebook account for a friends/family identity, don’t have one for your kink/sex identity. And if you want a tumblr account to share kinky porn, don’t also create a second tumblr account to share holiday snaps with friends. Pick the product most useful to each identity and don’t assume you can keep two accounts on the same platform distinct.

Life was so much simpler before the internet. It used to be only necessary to slip on a masquerade mask and you could attend any fancy ball of your choice in total anonymity.

This is from a shoot for Marie Claire by Koray Parlak and features Nina Reijnders with Victoria Lipatova.

The sexual power of the penetrating tool

While researching yesterday’s post featuring Mistress Yin, I came across this article by her on the pleasure she takes from anal sex as a top. I think it’s a great piece, and it really captures the aspects of anal play that make it so appealing to her.

I remember chatting to a domme about top space and the various ways she could access it. I was somewhat surprised to learn that she found that wielding a strap-on was one of the most consistent routes in to it. I’d always assumed top space would be tied to more obvious controlling and sadistic activities like bondage, corporal, piercing, etc. Yet for her it was the very intimate level of control and physical manipulation that came from a strap-on that worked most effectively.

This obviously isn’t Mistress Yin. I believe, based on this tweet, it’s Tristan Taormino.

Mercy Mistress

If you’re a fan of femdom (that should be almost everyone) and independent visual arts (hopefully a non-trivia subset of the former group), then allow me to direct your attention to Mercy Mistress. It’s a new series being developed by Mistress Yin and, as she describes in this slutist article…

I want to make a webseries about kink, BDSM, the sex industry, Asian American-ness, queerdom, and good food.
…
Mercy Mistress is a fictional show based on my career as a professional dominatrix in New York City. Each episode focuses on a particular client, their kink, and their slice of life: Where their proclivities developed from and how they balance (or don’t balance) with their “vanilla” reality. From the nucleus of one woman’s work, the show delves into all the colors and shades of sexuality.

If you want to help her to develop the series then there’s a Chuffed campaign running for donations.

This is Poppy Liu playing Mistress Yin.

A cunning plan

Trying to dig up dirt dirt on your political opponents is a time honored trick. Liberal Democrat candidate Dean Stone seemed to be giving it a shot when he emailed his opponent to ask if she had ‘anything embarrassing’ in her past. Admittedly, simply asking your opponent to simply volunteer political ammunition is pretty dumb, but at least it follows the basic formula. However, he then decided to give the old storyline a new twist, by sending her a naked picture of himself, partly dressed as a mouse and with a dominatrix. Presumably he thought she might not have been clear what he meant by ’embarrassing’, and thought that a personal example might really clarify his original request.

In today’s climate, it’s tough to set new standards for dumb political decisions. I really thought America had this sewn up. Yet Mr Stone has made a strong play here to bring Britain back into contention. Sadly, despite his cunning plan, he ended up coming 6th out of 6 candidates, so clearly the British voters aren’t on board with this new approach. Maybe he should try giving the White House a call? They seem to like out-of-the-box thinkers who can do exciting new things with social media.

Of course if Servitor had his way, male politicians and voters would be a thing of the past.

AWOL

Apologies in advance – I’m off to the wilds of Oregon for the weekend, so there’ll be no new posts until I’m back. I normally wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere without internet access, but I have family in town, and they wanted to see a bit more of the US than was visible from my usual haunts of urban cocktail bars and restaurants.

If anyone is looking for some alternative entertainment while I’m gone, I noticed that Midori had done a couple of podcasts on her Forte Femme course. You can listen to part 1 and part 2 here. If I’m honest I found the interviewer a little annoying, as everything was awesome and amazing. I’d personally have preferred a more investigative and inquisitive approach, but your mileage may vary.

Hopefully I’ll be back on Sunday with new posts. That is unless I’m captured and ravaged by a wild roaming dominatrix, as captured in this rare photograph. I know what to do when encountering a bear or a cougar in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, but what about a domme of the forest? Based on my knowledge of the urban domme, I’m guessing the answer is probably a cock shot of some sort. That’s probably better than bear spray when it comes to ensuring everyone stays a long way away from you.

This is from the lovely Goddess Jessica’s twitter feed.

Quite the Collection

I’ve played in hotel rooms a good number of times, and generally had a fun experience. With the right dynamic and a bit of ingenuity you can do all sorts of scenes with a small travel bag of toys. And, as I’ve posted before, playing in a more downmarket location can sometimes have thrills all of its own.

Mistress Chiaki is clearly not a subscriber to that particular approach, given this shot of what looks like a beautiful hotel room and a truly awesome collection of toys. I’ve seen professional dungeons with less equipment than that. I hope she has a retinue of beefy slaves to pack it all up and carry it around for her.

This is from her blog in a post back in April this year.

The safeword is ‘lawyer’

Via the Detroit News comes this story of a domme called Temptress Nirvana facing prison time for blackmail. It’s hard to tell if this was a fin domme scene gone very badly wrong, a straight out extortion attempt or something in-between. The article seems to rely almost entirely on the police report, which is certainly damming, but hardly a trustworthy and unbiased source. The domme’s twitter feed looks like a lot of similar ones from other fin dommes. i.e. Lots of selfies, suggestions to send money and reports of cash gifts.

Whatever the details of this particular case, I can’t help thinking that this might be the kind of thing we see a lot more of in coming years. For one, it typically seems to involve horny older men with a humiliation and blackmail fetish talking to young and attractive but inexperienced women who want money. That seems like a combination primed for disaster. I’m sure there are some highly skilled and trustworth fin dommes out there but, like every area in life, the bad always outnumber the good.

The other things that makes me think this’ll be a repeating storyline is changing demographics. Fetishes are said to develop when people are children or adolescents. Most of today’s middle-aged men with money and blackmail fetishes will not have grown up with the internet. The generation that follows them will have. They’ll have experienced formative events involving social media, and I have to think that’ll play into what kinks are popular in the years to come. If doing online blackmail scenes becomes increasingly popular, then it’s inevitable there will be more spinning out control and ending up in court.

From a personal perspective, I don’t need help from someone like Temptress Nirvana to spend my money. Most of it has a very brief and passing relationship with my bank account at the best of times.

This is from the twitter feed of the domme in question.

Eve’s Glory

I hadn’t intended to continue the WWI theme beyond yesterday’s post. It’s not exactly a great femdom or feelgood topic. However, then I remembered an exhibition of photographs I’d stumbled across called Eve’s Glory. It was by the photographer A. Tamboly and featured women wearing classic military uniforms from the 19th and early 20th century. While at first it seems a bit gimmicky, I actually think it’s a really interesting way to look back at that era. They reminded me of cosplay, or a videogame, which speaks to the impossibility of the images. It’s inconceivable to imagine a woman in a senior military role of the time, and these images really make that resonate.

I believe this uniform is that of a German Field Marshall from pre-WWI.

Learning from an expert

Last week I wrote in a post about BDSM and medical treatment that I figured medical professionals would have seen crazier things than any kink related injury I could turn up with. Apparently in Scotland they’re not leaving that kind of knowledge acquisition to chance. At Napier university in Edinburgh, healthcare professional on a graduate course are getting a lesson on sex work and kink from pro-domme Megara Furie.

It seems like an excellent idea. Sex workers and kinksters indulging in risky physical activity are exactly the kind of people who need to be able to talk openly to health professionals. As Megara says…

I’m definitely up for anything that helps to educate people and brings this out into the open. It takes away some stigma and makes everyone’s life easier.
Megara, 33, finds that her own forthright approach puts most nurses and doctors at ease.
She said: “I’m very open about what I do. I don’t explain my job and then look at my feet. I say, ‘Yeah, I’m a dominatrix, I love what I do.’ I’m very positive about it myself.

I’ve featured her in a previous post, and doing so again gives me the chance to use this image from Megara’s twitter feed. I’ve no idea what it’s about, but I do hope that teddy bear knows his safe word.

You can find Megara’s main site for arranging sessions here.

Putting the fun in

I’ve observed professional dommes offering all sorts of things for sale over the years. Their time and expertise is the traditional purchase, but some branch out into items of clothing, video clips, artwork, used toys, worn shoes, bodily fluids, etc. However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen stickers before. Alice in Bondage Land has now put that right with these rather excellent ‘Putting the fun back in Femdom’ stickers. To be honest, I’m actually not sure if they’re for sale or just promotional freebies, but either way, I think they’re great. I’d certainly like one to slap onto a travel bag or computer case.

This image comes the Alice in Bondage Land twitter feed.