F – Page 38 – Femdom Resource

Comic Con

The latest San Diego Comic Con just wrapped up. I’ve never attended but I would like to at some point. Spending a few days wallowing in that density of pop culture seems like it could be an interesting experience.

One of the new films being featured there was Sin City : A Dame To Kill For. Frank Miller has become (or revealed himself to be) a deeply unpleasant person with some of his later work and comments. Yet I still have a soft spot for his early work. The new movie looks par for the course, with ridiculous hard boiled dialog, lots of violence, brooding men and femme fatales in slinky outfits. Watching it will doubtless be a guilty pleasure.

The Comic Con articles I always enjoy most are those feature Cosplay. I’ve no desire to dress up myself, but I do love the effort and imagination some people put into it, as well as the obvious fun they have. The io9 site has some good photographs from this years event: Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4 and final round-up.

The image below is actually from the 2011 Comic Con, but I liked it so much I just had to feature it. That’s Adrianne Curry as the evil commander holding Vader’s leash. If she’d been in charge those hippy Jedi wouldn’t have stood a chance. I’d certainly have signed up at the nearest Empire recruiting office.

Sometimes you get the bear…

I find this image deeply disturbing, although I’m not sure I can express exactly why. Given the attractive lady and amusingly bound bear it should be both hot and cute. Yet somehow it’s kind of freaky. Of course YMMV.

The model is Lucy O Doll and the photographer is Charles Parks. I found it via the Alternative Femdom tumblr (always my go to choice when I’m traveling and need an interesting image to feature).

Magnificent Maleficent

The latest Disney fairytale, Maleficent, has been getting some pretty mixed reviews. Fortunately, while everyone might not like the movie, there has been consistent praise for Angelina Jolie’s take on the character of the evil Queen from Snow White. Watching great actors ham it up as bad guys is always a guilty pleasure. Think of Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber, Antony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter or Heath Ledger as the Joker. I’m sure Maleficent will not be troubling the Oscar committee, but watching Miss Jolie tear it up as an twisted sadistic fairy in a leather catsuit promises to be particularly rewarding.

The image below is older one, taken (judging by the background) at a Comic Con. She’s one celebrity who can really rock the leather look. Kinky sites always seem to feature the scene from Mr and Mrs Smith, but I always thought she looked better attending the premier to that same movie.

A short interruption

Posting may be a bit erratic for the next couple of days. I’m currently on a small island a couple of hours north of Seattle helping a friend celebrate his birthday. Normally I’d have no problem kicking out a few posts between drinks and birthday cake, but we’ve rented a shared house on the beach, and most of my friends have young children. This is not conducive to browsing femdom imagery or writing about kinky shenanigans. I never know when an inquisitive face will appear over my shoulder. Uncle paltego doesn’t want to have to explain why this young lady is sporting a fake horn in an odd place.

I found this on Mistress Justine’s tumblr.

Swinging her tail

I’m continuing my equipment theme from yesterday’s post. That one was about beds and this one is on whips.

It was prompted by the the people over at Mojave Outliers dropped me a nice email asking if I’d list their site on my equipment page. I get a fair number of these kind of emails, typically for what look cookie cutter e-commerce sites with a random grab bag of cheap BDSM toys on them. However, the Mojave Outliers site is nicely put together and shows a real passion for the whips, floggers and general swingy things that they’re creating. They’ve got a wide variety of different custom made whips on offer and I was happy to list them.

I should be clear that I’ve no personal experience with their products, and I certainly don’t make any money from posting about them! I just enjoy discovering people who are passionate about what they do and have the skill to create beautiful equipment for others to enjoy. Plus, it gives me an excuse to feature the image below.

This is a Cat Woman Cosplay by Margie Cox, as photographed by Lou Raimondi. It’s almost certainly not a whip from the folks at Mojave Outliers. And given the Margie is a cosplayer rather than a BDSM enthusiast (at least as far as I know), she’s probably not about to whip anyone with it. But I like the image all the same.

Vampire Willow

Life is full of odd coincidences. Yesterday I was joking about vampires, and included an aside about the price of a mortgage on a gothic castle. Today the very first story I read over my morning coffee tells me that Dracula’s castle is for sale. Unfortunately there’s no listed price, and no mention of how accommodating the local wenches are when it comes to open bedroom windows and diaphanous nightwear.

On the plus side, it does give me a chance to continue the theme with one of my favorites – vampire Willow from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’ve blogged about her before, so I won’t rehash that post here. Although in writing this, it struck me that the show steered away from the traditional sexually aggressive and dominant female vampires. There was no shortage of evil females – Drusilla, Darla, Glory, Natalie French, Inca Mummy girl, etc. But no main character in the traditional predatory femme fatale vampire role, which is such a staple of the genre. The two closest matches are vampire Willow and Faith, both associated with the good character roles.

Next!

This looks to be a very impatient looking lady. I’m not quite sure what she’s done to those poor fellows in the background, but clearly she has left them in a somewhat discombobulated state. Either that or she dissolved their spinal cords. No time for foreplay or cuddling afterwards. Just wham, bam, thank you man.

My searching suggests this is fan art of an anime character called Annie Leonhart. I’m afraid I don’t know who the artist is.

Abusing a term

I maintain a Google alert on the term ‘dominatrix’. I originally figured that if the term popped up in a news article it’d be a likely article for me to post about. In actuality what it means is that I get an endless stream of links to articles featuring celebrities wearing something that, if you squint and don’t concentrate too hard, could be vaguely considered to be fetish wear. It doesn’t seem to matter what it is, or what the context is, just so long as it’s slightly non-conventional.

Some of them I kind of understand (for example this) while others are completely ridiculous (for example this). The latest example, and one that falls firmly into the ridiculous camp, is Kylie Minogue, with this and then this. Kylie is undoubtedly a very attractive woman, but I’ve played with a lot of amazing dommes, and not one of them has worn anything like those outfits. If you’re going to call something a dominatrix outfit then may I suggest this outfit by Mistress Shae Flanigan as a reference point? Obviously you can be dominant in anything you damn well choose, including fuzzy slippers. But if you’re going to invoke cliches, at least make sure it’s an accurate one.

Pro Dommes of NY

The latest site that has been catching my eye is entitled ‘Pro Dommes of NY‘. As the name suggests, it’s a collection of images of professional dommes from New York, stretching back over the last couple of decades. I can’t say I care for it’s sub-title – “…from the icons & super-stars to the mediocre and has-beens.” That last couple of categories seems rude and unnecessary. Despite that, I find the site itself fascinating, although I’m not sure I can clearly say why.

I don’t visit New York that often, and I’ve only played there a handful of times, so this certainly isn’t a trip down memory lane for me. Some of the image and dommes are undoubtedly beautiful (see below), but the same could be said for the images on hundreds of current pro-domme sites spread across the web. I think it’s the element of time that makes it interesting for me. It makes me wonder about the person behind each shot: Where are they now? What do they think about it in hindsight? How did their career and life evolve? The images are public, deliberately revealing, and designed to advertise. Yet, what they advertised was a very private experience, and in many cases the character they’re advertising no longer exists, it has been retired by its creator.

We’re used to cleanly dividing the world into real and pretend parts. A bank manager is always real. Romeo and Juliet are pretend characters. An actor is sometimes real (accepting an award) and sometimes pretend (on the stage). I think pro-dommes blurs these boundaries in unusual ways, and each to different degrees. A session with one is both real (I have the welts to prove it) and pretend. Looking at this tumblr, and in particular the older images of ex-dommes, really brings that home to me.

This image is of Mistress Tess, a NYC pro-domme who is still very much active. Anytime I see a mainstream magazine article featuring a pro-domme they inevitably describe themselves a leading or top domme from wherever they hail from. While I’ve yet to have the pleasure of playing with Mistress Tess, from everything I’ve read about her, I think she’s one of the handful of New York dommes who could make that boast and be entirely truthful. If you’re New York based and would like to see her then check out her website.

Pink elephant syndrome

My mini-rant in the previous post triggered some interesting comments and some further thoughts of my own. So this post is a continuation on the topic of flirting with limits when playing with new (or newish) partners.

I should start by stating that none of the dommes that get regularly name checked here (Lydia, Yuki, Ai-Li, etc.) have ever been guilty of this problem. People I play with fairly often know my limits, so the situation doesn’t tend to arise, but even in my first few sessions with them they did the right thing and completely avoided problem areas.

I should also draw clear distinctions between the different circumstances where limits can get violated. The three obvious cases that spring to my mind are when a top deliberately cross a line, when a top simply doesn’t listen and is unaware of a limit, and when a top chooses to play somewhere close to a limit and crosses it accidentally. All of them are bad, but it was the final situations I was really trying to dig into, as it’s something I’ve not seen addressed elsewhere.

One of the comments (from ‘Informed guesswork’) likened it to the Pink Elephant problem. Being told not to picture a pink elephant instantly makes you picture one. In the same way I sometimes think limit discussions trigger the visualization and problem solving parts of a top’s brain…

Bottom: For me piercing / hoods / having bananas shoved up my bottom are limits.
Top: Oh really? (Thinking: That’s a shame I like needles / sensory deprivation / pretending to be a kinky gorilla)
Bottom: Yes. I am terrified of needles / am claustrophobic / witnessed a traumatic event at the local zoo as a child.
Top: OK. Good to know (Thinking: So is it all medical scenes / enclosed spaces / anal fruit situations that are a problem? What if I used a carrot? I remember a great scene I did last year with an aubergine. That’d be fun to try again…)

At this point the top now has pink elephants on the brain and is making connections to similar past situations, while forgetting the million and one other things she enjoys doing that don’t relate to elephants of any color at all.

Obviously the onus should be on the top to avoid this type of behavior, but one excellent suggestion in the comments was to finish a scene negotiation with the stuff you enjoy rather than personal limits. I suspect a lot of people are like me, and the last thing they talk about before a scene with a new person is their limits. After all, it’s human nature to open up with all the positive things you enjoy before adding the qualifiers and conditionals. Perhaps that switching that around would help avoid the pink elephants.

When looking for an image for this post I actually did an image search for elephants and femdom. I didn’t have much hope, but I should have realized that rule 34 can never be violated. Unfortunately the relevant images – of big breasted women waving whips near men being crushed by elephants – was a little too extreme for me to feature. So instead here’s a rather beautiful shot of a naked woman next to a naked elephant. It was taken by Vlad Gansovsky.