F – Page 49 – Femdom Resource

Discovered Femdom

My post from a few days ago, featuring an image that wasn’t actually femdom in the original context, got me thinking about similar images. I mentally categorize this type of material as ‘discovered’ femdom, in the sense that it’s discovered by the viewer rather than (necessarily) intended by the original artist. I’ve posted these kind of images in the past, for example here, here and here. They’re images that will appeal in different ways to different people. Not all submissives may get the same dominant vibe from them that I do. And non-submissives may like them for entirely different reasons.

While it’s hard to put into words exactly what makes one image work and another not, I have noticed two common components. One is very direct eye contact. Another is a composition that places the camera at a slightly lower vantage point than normal. That these two components work so well shouldn’t be surprising to me. I also find it very appealing when a mistress leans over and makes eye contact while torturing me. That pushes me very quickly into a submissive space. Clearly there’s something pretty fundamental about those components, so fundamental in fact that they even work when present in non-obvious femdom contexts.

I wonder if it’s something to do with childhood. That was a time when I literally looked up to every female authority figure. And adults always tends to engage very directly and stare straight at children when talking to them, something that doesn’t typically happen between two adults. I had a very normal and relatively liberal childhood. It seems pretty disgusting and discomforting to think back to the relationship between my mother (or my aunt or my nursery teacher or whoever) and the infant paltego and connect that to my kinky sexuality now. I’ve certainly no desire to do age related role-play. But the deep seated appeal of the stare from above has to come from somewhere and that seems to be as good a place as any.

Just as a random aside, I wonder if the growth in gay marriage and same sex households with adopted kids will make research in this area easier? Looking at the differences in the percentages of men attracted to female dominance from m+m, f+m and f+f parents would be interesting. Of course controlling for others factors is highly non-trivial.

This image is a particularly clever example of one making effective use of both components. Using the mirror it manages to create eye contact, a upwards POV type shot and a great view of her beautiful behind. Not sure what it does for anyone else out there, but it sure works for me.

Dreaming of a white christmas…

I’m typically not a fan of the holiday season blog posts that feature well known festive figures in out of character fetish gear (e.g. Sissy Santa’s). I normally get enough off the holiday spirit without also needing to encounter it via my favorite sex blogs. However, I’ll give myself a pass on this image. Disney only has a loose association with Christmas in my mind, and Snow White really does work well as a domme. I can just imagine her whipping the dwarfs into line.

I encountered this via the Loves Bright Women tumblr. It’s originally from Cartoon Girls on DeviantArt.

WTF

I have no idea what’s going on here, but it does make me smile. If it’s some sort of promotional shot to advertise for Babeland then I congratulate them, it worked. I’m not quite sure what would lead them to think of the combination of old fashioned airline stewardesses with strap-ons, but it turns out to be a very attractive pairing.

I found this on the Pegtastic tumblr site.

Site Updates

I’ve added three new blogs to the blogroll on the right.

From Vanilla to Kinky features Cleo and Marc writing about the gradual evolution of their vanilla marriage into a female led relationship.

Lady Anna List is a professional and lifestyle Mistress based in Bradford, UK. She writes about both her personal and professional life in a candid, straightforward and humorous style. She’s also got one of the most impressive medical set-ups I’ve seen (although Lady Annisa could perhaps give her a run for her money).

Mistress Keene’s Dominant Thoughts is pretty much exactly what it says it is. Mistress Keene is a dominant woman based in Norfolk UK (not a million miles from where I used to live), who works as a pro-domme. Like Lady Anna she’s not someone to pander to the traditional ice-queen femdom stereotype, or the submissive men are worthless worms approach.

I am a PD who also really likes submissive men. I don’t want to belittle them, degrade them, emasculate them and treat them as children, animals or anything but grown men who I do respect. However, like and respect them as I may I do want to control them and I often want to hurt them.
Mistress Keene

That’s my favorite kind of domination. I always want to be treated me like a mature, intelligent adult. But that doesn’t preclude restraining me and making me scream in pain.

In other site updates, I’ve also cleaned up the Femdom Image page, dropping dead links and re-categorizing some sites. I’ve added two new tumblr links, to In a Humbler and the minimally named Me.

The image for this post comes courtesy of the In a Humbler tumblr. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

The one where I channel a little maymay

For those of you that haven’t encountered his writing before, maymay writes the ‘Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed‘ blog. He’s an interesting guy and he writes about all sorts of stuff connected to kink, sexuality, gender and politics. Some of his stuff I find thought provoking, some of it strikes me as completely over-the-top and excessively dramatic. And don’t even get me started on some of his dumb comments about pro-dommes (for example here and here).

One thing he’s often commented on in the past is the prevalence of male dominant/female submission in scene spaces. So I couldn’t help thinking of him when I wandered past this page on the kink.com Upper Floor site. The alleged concept of the Upper Floor is:

The creation of a 24×7 BDSM lifestyle space as fantasized about in BDSM literature such as ‘Story of O’, Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Series, and Laura Antoniou’s MarketPlace Series. Such literature often describes a castle like place in which the norms of society are replaced by the rules of dominance and submission. “The Upper Floor” is an exploration into the feasibility of such a place and lifestyle.

That sounds like fairly ludicrous and laughable concept to start with. However, lets run with the concept of a luxurious decadent space to explore a formalized D/s “lifestyle” (quotes definitely required), and look at the main characters they’ve assembled. There are five in total, four men and a woman. There’s the Master (male dom), the Major Domo (male dom), the Steward (male dom), the Butler (male dom) and the Governess (female switch). Yes, the only woman there is also the only one they put into both a dominant and submissive role. They couldn’t quite bring themselves to add a simple dominant female, despite the fact that ‘Mistress’ would actually be a very appropriate addition to that list of roles. Instead lets ignore the fact that ‘Governess’ sounds like a pretty strict top role, and go with:

Punished or punishing, she is an expert in all things protocol and corporal. Her experience as both top and bottom give her a unique outlook on the needs of both slaves and masters.

Admittedly there’s also a very brief mention about the Butler being punished if he screws up, but it’s kind of lost in all the mentions of him dominating and punishing slave girls.

To add insult to injury, the governess is also responsible for “the close training on the kitchen slave”. So the only woman there also gets put in charge of the kitchen staff. Personally I’d have thought that would be more a job for a cook rather than a governess, but then again what do I know about these kind of 24×7 lifestyle D/s communities?

As kink/gender injustices go, this one is probably a fair way down a pretty long list. But just for a moment or two it ticked me off.

For an accompanying image I thought a governess style shot would be somewhat appropriate. I found this on the Superior Women tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Sensual Pegging

A lot of pegging shots are quite aggressive. Pegging portrayed as an act of dominance. Given my kinky wiring I’m obviously happy to enjoy it in that way, but now and again it’s nice to think of it as a more intimate sensuous act. This shot makes puts me in that kind of mood. She’s so languid. It makes me want to cuddle.

I found this on the appropriately named Sensual Pegging tumblr site.

Torture by jpg

I’ve never considered myself a switch. While in my daily interactions I’m a pretty forward and forceful guy, I’m 100% submissive masochist when it comes to my personal and sexual life. However, I think just for a few brief moments here I have the chance to play sadist and torture some of my submissive readers.

Take a long look at this image. Now, aren’t your eyes constantly drawn to that little drop of moisture? Don’t you feel an overpower urge to lick it off? Can’t you just imagine running your tongue along her ass and up to that delicate liquid bead?

I think this image is the still equivalent of those animated gifs where the submissive is teased on a never ending loop (for example this one). I can’t stare at it too long without feeling horny and tense.

I found it on the Someday Afternoon tumblr site. It’s originally from the FTV Girls site.

It was a dark and stormy night…

Thumper made a comment in a recent post that struck a chord with me.

It’s interesting to me that I can post pictures of my junk online but writing down my fantasies like this makes me feel more vulnerable and nervous. I guess that’s because it’s a peek into my head while all the HNT in the world doesn’t give you much more than a surface view.
Thumper

I’ve posted a fair number of onlink junks shots (purely as an educational resource of course), along with shots of naked me in sessions, but publishing my erotic fiction always creates a far greater feeling of vulnerability. Even commenting on my fantasies in blog posts, or saying what I like about certain images, seems far safer then crafting fictional porn. Of course there’s the natural fear of failure and ridicule that comes with any public creative endeavour. But on top of this I think erotic writing has its own particular issues.

For one thing, I give up any plausible deniability. A reposted image or a blog comment can easily be written off. I can just claim it was interesting rather than personally exciting, or I posted it because it was weird and made me laugh, or it raised important questions. There’s no chance of that with a carefully crafted ten thousand word short story. Everyone knows I spent hours writing, editing and proof-reading it. Every paragraph is there because I want it there. It’s impossible to distance myself from the ideas it contains.

Writing also gives immense power. Photographs of me in a session are constrained by physical, legal and moral laws. I know I’m publishing something that thousands of people have described and attested to before me. There’s safety in those numbers. As a writer I stand alone. I don’t have to limit myself to any particular physical or moral constraints. I can create something uniquely depraved if I wish, and I’ll have no one to share the stage or the blame with.

Finally, I think there’s often an implicit chain of reasoning that runs as follows. An erotic story is designed to excite and arouse people. The author based their ideas on what excited him or her. People like to do what excites them. Therefore the author wants to do whatever is written in the story. Nobody thinks Stephen King wants to dress up as a clown and lurk in sewers threatening children. Or that he’d really enjoy going insane in a deserted hotel. But throw a sex scene into a book and it’s impossible not to start wondering what it reflects about the author and their particular sexual quirks. Where do they draw the lines between their achievable, unachievable and undesirable fantasys?

Some of the things I’ve written or enjoyed reading would be truly horrendous in real life. In some cases I wouldn’t even want to see them filmed or photographed Hollywood (i.e. fake) style. They work in the abstract. They distill out the nasty underlying emotions into sexual heroin for my reptilian id. They’re like a sexual horror movie, drawing on primitive responses to short circuit the intellectual bit of my brain.

There’s really no blog post or picture I’ve published that I look back on and regret. I can’t say all of them were successful, but there’s none I sometimes wish I could take back. I’m not sure I could honestly say the same thing for the very limited amount of fiction I’ve written.

I’m afraid I can’t think of any particularly appropriate image that would go along with this post, so here’s a very attractive lady in latex. You’re welcome.

$Woman in latex catsuit$ I found this on the Stuff I Like tumblr site.

A hint of vanilla revisited

This is a follow-up post to this earlier one. I received several lengthy comments, including a response from Mistress Rex which she re-posted to her blog. I started to write a detailed comment as a reply, but decided it’d be easier to simply create a new post. Apologies to those people who weren’t particularly interested in the original discussion to start with. I promise to include an attractive picture at the end by way of compensation.

I want to start with the ‘my way or the highway’ aspect.

Pro Dommes who state from the get-go what is expected in communication – whether it’s as simple as how she is addressed to the more complicated issues of capitalization – it is entirely in her right and reason to do so…
…if it bothers you, find someone else.
Mistress Rex

I think that’s simultaneously true and also irrelevant to the discussion. It’s an argument that taken to its logical extreme would mean never writing about negotiation and interaction with pro-dommes, because the answer can always be “If you don’t like it go elsewhere.” Obviously what I’m writing about here are my personal feelings and expectations. The kind of interaction that I find meaningful and reasonable. I’ve certainly voted with my feet in the past and no doubt will do so again in future. This discussion is about some of the things that might cause me (and other submissives) to do that.

I should also add that I’m not talking about the kind of rules that are necessary for the smooth running of a business. Only calling between certain hours, requiring a reference or deposit, meeting in a neutral space for the first time, etc. These all are sensible operating parameters, and don’t imply anything about the D/s dynamic.

The issue for me is related to the sentiment that coined the expression “I may be a submissive, but I’m not your submissive.” This expression often crops up in the context of social gatherings, where it’s important to emphasize that submission to one dominant does not imply submission to all. For me that same idea can also be applied temporally. Just because I will submit in a session doesn’t automatically imply I should be submissive and deferential outside it.

It is unclear to me if the comments here are in objection to inequality wholesale, or if the men here feel more simply that the demands from these ProDommes were displaced via the lack of personalized attention toward the defining of a unequal power exchange.
Mistress Rex

I’d say my objection is to an assumption of inequality without negotiation or agreement. Refinement and evolution of roles is always going to happen as a relationship (professional or otherwise) develops. But I start from a position of equality. I think it’d be presumptuous of either party to assume otherwise. I might be a submissive, but I’m not her submissive until we agree that. Anyone insisting on lower casing my name and pronouns before they’ve even met me, simply strikes me as insecure. And insisting slaves email multiple times to get a response doesn’t put me into a suitably submissive mindset. It just makes me think that the mistress is crap at running her business.

I’ll also add that there was one comment I saw which, in contrast to Mistress Rex’s thoughtful words, struck me as fairly daft.

When men pay, they feel like they have license to top from the bottom.

Firstly, that’s a ridiculously sweeping generalization. And secondly, it misses the point of this discussion, which is about what goes on outside of negotiated play.

That’s probably enough of my random ramblings. As promised here’s an attractive and entirely unrelated picture to finish the post. It’s not really femdom material, but I saw it on Erotic Haecceities and thought she was adorably cute.

A little slap and tickle

Some dommes seem to naturally project a sadistic aura. I don’t mean that as a necessarily good or bad thing (although I do kind of like it), but simply as an observation on the visual impression they make. Some people, a minority, just naturally throw off a certain vibe. Much as some actors seem born to play certain types of character, some dommes seem to naturally embody certain characteristics, whether it’s playfulness, seriousness, superiority or sadism.

Mistress Simone Kross is one of those dommes who possesses that sadistic aura. I’ve not yet had chance to session with her (unfortunately), so I’ve no idea if my impression aligns with her natural personality. I’m sure like all good dommes she can adapt as necessary, and play in many different ways. But every image I see of her (and she’s featured before on this blog here and here) gives me a pleasant shiver of masochistic delight.

Take the shot below as an example. She just has a few feathers and a little wooden paddle. In any other situation that might look like a prelude to some light spanking and a little sensual tickling. Gentle BDSM foreplay for the kinky beginner perhaps. But somehow, in her hands, it looks like all she’d need to bring the most hardened masochist to his knees.

Mistress Simone Kross is a professional dominatrix based out of Nashville. Her website contains this contact page should you wish to arrange a session.