Tag: F

House Boss

According to a study from China, attractive women wield more power in their households. Basically as their perceived attractiveness increased, so did the likelihood that they were the major decision maker.

It’s not too surprising a result. Repeated studies have shown that attractive people are generally treated better. Beauty helps if you’re trying to get a job or trying to get away with crime. It’s therefore not unreasonable that it’d also help you gain power in a household.

What I found interesting was this line at the end of the article.

It is also possible that interviewers saw wealthier women and those with more self-esteem as more beautiful.

The attractiveness rating was assigned by interviewers, so was obviously subjective. It might be the case that attractive people get more freedom to make decisions. But it also might be true that more forceful and dominant women are seen as more beautiful. What’s cause and what’s effect? Are bossy women perceived as more beautiful or do beautiful women get more opportunity to be bossy?

I’m not sure who this is or where the shot is from, but she certainly seems like someone who might be in charge of things. Or if not yet, soon will be.

The Cramps

From one rock band that didn’t want to associate with kink to another that very much did – The Cramps. Pioneers of the psychobilly genre, they were clearly lovers of fetish, horror, sex, B movies and pop culture kitsch. You know. All the good stuff. Their guitarist Poison Ivy had worked as a Dominatrix and clearly has a love for fetishwear.

They recently had a moment in the mainstream, thanks to the Netflix show Wednesday and Jenna Ortega dancing to their song “Goo Goo Muck”. If you like that then there are plenty of Cramps song guides online. I’m partial to the overtly kinky Ultra Twist, off the album Flamejob.

Name of the Game

Do you know the names Margaret Hyra, Neta-Lee Hershlag or Demetria Guynes? Any ideas? How about Julie Smith or Robyn Fenty? You might know them better by their stage names of, respectively, Meg Ryan, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore, Julianne Moore and Rihanna. Does knowing their original names change the perception of their work? Outside of idle curiosity, I’m guessing the answer is no.

I’m writing about names because of this NYT article on sex work and working names. It’s written by a pro-domme named Mistress Natalie and details all the aggressive boundary pushing clients did to try and find her ‘real’ name. I’m sure its contents are no surprise to other sex workers. Clients who pay attention shouldn’t be too surprised either. It’s a common complaint on sex workers social media feeds.

It always struck me as a weird thing for clients to care about. I get why creepy boundary pushers do it, but what’s everyone else’s excuse? We’re accepting of professional names in all sorts of other situations. Isn’t the name that someone chose for themselves more interesting and meaningful than the one picked by their parents a few decades back? Nobody accuses Helen Mirren of being inauthentic just because she doesn’t go around calling herself Ilyena Lydia Mironoff. Although, frankly she probably should use that, because it’s an awesome name.

This is the great Dame Helen herself, shooting for US Vogue in 2013.

Don’t Go Dark

I’ve one final comment on the topic of ending a relationship with a pro-domme: If you’re of advancing years and/or have health issues, then I’d say always try and let a domme know if you decide to stop or take a break from regular sessions with her.

I say this because I’ve lost count of the number of worried tweets and comments I’ve seen from dommes with regulars who fitted this profile and who suddenly stopped showing up. As Simon commented previously on this exact topic, dommes when outside the dungeon and when they’re not hitting people with sticks, are typically very compassionate people. If you’ve any doubt about that I’d point you to this very moving post by Dana Kane.

If some random middle aged guy ghosts then they’ll put it down to one of those things. If an older regular suddenly vanishes then they’re likely to be a lot more concerned. You don’t want to leave them fearing the worst, no matter how good they might look in black.

I believe this is an image created by the photographer Lado Alexi.

What do we owe each other?

I pose the question in the post’s title based on this thread by Dia Dynasty. She writes about a long term slave who abruptly ended their relationship via email. A fact which hurt and deeply disappointed her. It’s a sad situation, but one which I think raises the general question: What do we owe each other in that kind of relationship?

I’m specifically referring to a professional relationship which – thanks to its length and close nature – has developed beyond just a simple transaction. Obviously, in a non-professional context a kinky relationship is no different to breaking-up in any relationship. At least in terms of the need for compassion, understanding and respect. But how does the presence of a transactional element change things?

I don’t have a glib or easy answer. I just thought it was an interesting question to ponder. Maybe, for the little they’ll be worth, I’ll share some musings in a follow-up post.

This is Dia Dynasty, a wholistic femdom practitioner, based out of NYC. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here. She’s also the Matriarch of the Femdom Farm.

Eva’s Peasants

My subby fantasies were tickled by this news story on Eva Green. Apparently she had a falling out with the producers of a project she was working on and told them exactly what she thought. This included insults such as ‘peasants’, ‘arseholes’ and ‘fucking morons’. I’ve no idea if these barbs were justified or not, but I do have to agree with the article writer when he says…

She’s haughty and imperious. She knows exactly where she stands in the world, and she would rather die than hang around with the likes of us. Her contempt is tangible and, really, isn’t that exactly what we want in a movie star?

His conclusion is that we’d all like to aspire to this level of free expression. That might be true for the majority, but some of us would rather be on the receiving end of Ms Green’s acid tongue. Haughty and imperious are sexy attributes whatever someone’s profession. It also struck me that if she ever puts her face to a perfume then ‘Tangible Contempt’ would be an excellent name for it.

This is a shot of Eva from ‘A Dame To Die For‘, the follow-up to Sin City.

Fashion or Fetish? Part III

Here’s the third and final part of my fetish or fashion game. This time it’s a two-for-one deal, with an image from each category. But which one is from the world of fashion and which from the world of fetish? I suspect regular readers may find it a little easy given who is featured, but it’s an image I couldn’t resist.

If you guessed the first was fashion and the second was fetish then congratulations. Have a gold star. Or maybe, more appropriately, a shiny leather one. The first image is Carmen Electra, shot by  Josef Jasso for Nylon magazine. You can see more images from the shoot here. The second one is, as I’m sure many readers might have recognized, the incomparable Mistress Iris. This was from her twitter feed.

Fashion or Fetish? Part II

Here’s a follow-up entry in the fashion or fetish guessing game. Was this snaffled from a recent Vogue shoot? Or is someone who can expertly crack a single tail? Couture or consensual cruelty?

Answer: In this case it’s the latter option – fetish. This is Lady Mephista from a recent tweet. You can see more on her OnlyFans site and arrange in person sessions via her professional site.

Hot Advice

I’m always a fan of mainstream magazines running positive articles on BDSM and ideas for kinky play. Getting more people to explore their sexual interests is great. However, the media have a tendency to lead with the high risk stuff, which is pretty much the last thing new kinksters should be trying in their bedroom.

Take for example this Vice article on temperature play. It’s titled a beginners guide, but in the first half dives into topics like making fire torches with alcohol and dropping flammable propane bubbles on people’s skin. Admittedly they add a bunch of caveats about not trying it without training, but why start there in a beginners guide? There’s a ton of fun temperature stuff you can do with hot wax and ice cubes that isn’t likely to land you in the ER. Pretty much by definition, if you’re learning about temperature play for the first time from a Vice article, there’s nothing you should be doing in the nude with flammable gases or liquids. Leave it to the professionals.

This is the striking Lady Lola, someone who is very much a professional. She is a London based pro-domme who lists fire play as one of her specialties. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.