FFm – Page 12 – Femdom Resource

When a session goes bad (part 1)

My experience of playing with pro-dommes has been an overwhelmingly positive one. I’ve had many great sessions, and I’ve documented a few of them on this blog. In all the time I’ve been playing I’ve only had one really bad session. While that session was clearly an aberration, it struck me that it’s probably worth writing about. After all it’s easy to find lots of posts eulogizing great dommes and amazing sessions. It’s much harder to find discussion on the effect of play that turns sour. Looking back at the session the physical interaction itself doesn’t seem particularly significant, but what was interesting was the way it left me feeling for days afterwards.

I should start by saying that this session wasn’t with anyone I’ve named here in the past. Dommes like Lydia and Yuki have been unfailingly enjoyable to play with and I’d never hesitate to recommend them. The domme in question here will remain unnamed, as she’s still active and I don’t particularly want to get into a back and forth with her or any of her fans.

We’d played together a couple of times previously and I’d enjoyed those sessions, but I had been a little surprised at her reactions when things hadn’t gone as planned. In my experience a good domme is always able to adapt and modify the flow of a scene based on the feedback she gets. She’s always in control, but that doesn’t mean everything has to happen exactly as she originally envisioned. This particular domme seemed to become frustrated and react with a touch of anger when things didn’t work out. That struck me as a bad sign. Being in control of the scene means being in control of yourself as well as the submissive.

The unpleasantness started about an hour or so into our third session. She had me spread on an X-frame and had spent 20 or so minutes working me over with various floggers and paddles. At a natural break, while she switched implements, she asked how I was doing. My fingers were going numb thanks to the overhead position and tight leather wrist cuffs, and I mentioned this fact. This was apparently a mistake. I’m not sure what feedback she was looking for, but this clearly wasn’t it, as she got rather vexed. I actually hadn’t asked to stop, but she did stop and unhooked my hands in an angry fashion.

What followed was a quite surreal conversation/argument. I was naked and still shackled to the X-frame by my feet, but with my hands free so I could work the feeling into them. She was sulking in a chair across the room complaining how I was wasting her time. Apparently I shouldn’t be doing such long sessions (we were scheduled for 3 hours) if I couldn’t take it. This struck me as ludicrous. The length of overall session was irrelevant to this particular issue, and if anyone was missing out on active play time it was me. She also tried to make some bizarre point that if this was lifestyle play I wouldn’t be getting the option to stop. That didn’t seem a particularly convincing line of reasoning.

I’m normally not someone to let a stupid statement slide without comment. When my friends describe me the expression “Doesn’t tolerate fools gladly” is often in there somewhere. The problem was that just seconds before we’d been in a D/s mode, which made for a very confusing dynamic. I wanted to talk through the situation, but still had a submissive mindset. The intellectual bit of my brain was saying “Fuck this. She’s out of line.” where the emotional part was saying “She’s in charge. Don’t argue.” Suddenly all the tools of dominance that I enjoyed seemed to conspire against me. Being naked, bound and vulnerable is normally wonderful, but when the energy turned bad it made it hard to be assertive and take back my submission.

In hindsight I should have simply stopped the session at this point. I never want to play in an angry negative context. However, at the time it never occurred to me to try and stop. I was too busy trying to deal with my conflicting instincts of arguing versus submitting. The end result was a confused discussion that only made her more stroppy.

…To be continued in part 2…

Picking a picture for this post wasn’t easy. People typically don’t post pictures of bad sessions. Instead I’ve gone with a shot of some play from Men are Slaves that features both corporal and a cuffed X-position. I’m sure the participants below are having a lot more fun than I ended up having.

Happy BDSM

I’ve posted in the past how much I appreciate seeing happy smiling participants enjoying kinky play. For example – here, here and here. Very intense serious sessions can be great, but that kind of interaction is horribly over-represented in porn. I’d guess the majority of kinky play comes from a place of positive energy and joy, but you’d never guess that browsing the average BDSM tumblr or porn site.

I was therefore very pleased to discover (via this Spanking Blog post) a new-ish tumblr called Happy BDSM. It contains exactly what the name implies, all sorts of happy people doing BDSM in all sorts of gender and D/s configurations. I found browsing it actually cheered me up and put a smile on my own face, which isn’t something that can be said for a lot of porn shots.

Image found on the Happy BDSM tumblr, which has now also been added to my Femdom Image page. Originally it’s from the Devious Domination site, from the clip “Dominatrix Delight.”

The association game

I often think my posts here are a little like a visual game of word association. The original game is where you say a series of words, letting your subconscious guide the connections, and try to not always end up saying ‘penis’. Although it is possible that this final rule is only a personal (and necessary) addition to the game.

In this blog’s case the image in one post often leads me to another, although the connection might not be at all obvious to my readers. For this image the connection is the expression of the woman on the left, Mistress Sade. The woman on the right, Goddess Brianna, has the look of someone dragged reluctantly into a group photograph at a family gathering (if you’ll excuse the horribly clashing imagery). It’s the “OK. I’m smiling. Hurry up an take the photo. I have stuff to do” look. On the other hand,Mistress Sade looks very relaxed and comfortable to be in the shot. She reminds of the maid from yesterday’s post. There’s a nice blend of amusement and sadistic satisfaction in her expression.

I originally found a version of this image (minus the watermark) on the Rue Montorgueil tumblr. Google’s reverse image search took me to this gallery, which has the original image and the information that it came from the Club Dom site.

Ride’em cowgirl

While I’m posting on the subject of gleeful sadists, here’s a rendered version of one. The breasts of the cowgirl in question appear to be trying to make a break for it and flee the scene, but she certainly looks like she’s enjoying herself.

The expression I particularly like in this image is actually the maid with the tray of implements. Her face portrays a nice blend of amusement, satisfaction and derision. I’m probably reading too much into a collection of shaded polygons, but she strikes me as more of a sadist than the lady waving the riding crop around.

I’m afraid I don’t know the name of the artist for this or even where I found it. The “SIS001” identity doesn’t turn up anything usual via a search engine. Thanks to google image search I did turn up a gallery containing this image on imagefap. So if you like it I’d suggest taking a look there for similar works.

Searching for a little inspiration

The last few days have found me hunting through my archives of femdom art and erotic fiction in search of a little creative inspiration. I’m trying to carve out time to do some more femdom fiction writing, which for me is an enjoyable but slow process. Normally I just start bashing away at whatever random theme comes to mind, typically without any prepared plan or structure. Occasionally that turns into something worth publishing, but more often than not it bogs down and ends up being left to rot in my unfinished ideas folder. This time I’m trying to be a little more scientific. I’ve been analyzing some of my favorite authors (e.g. Tyjord, drkfetyshnyghts and Anne Gray) to see what parts of their stories really push my buttons. It has been interesting and educational to try and deconstruct why certain passages really grab me. For example, I liked this a lot.

Jason panicked as he felt the tugging on the front of his collar as Victoria pulled the chain through the ring on the ceiling. For a moment he thought they were going to hang him as he choked from both the gag and the pressure on his collar.

Seeing the distress in his eyes, Kristi leaned over his ear and whispered to him, “you can ease off the pressure a bit if you lift yourself up on your toes.” Gratefully he did so, putting all of his weight on the rubber encased balls of his feet. Immediately, Victoria took up the slack in the chain and hooked the taught metal to another ring in the wall near her. Kristi then grabbed another strap and buckled it around his newly exposed instep.
From ‘Jason’s Vacation’ by Tyjord

The apparent concern, the whispered words of apparent comfort and advice, and then the cruel betrayal. That’s hot.

I’m thinking of setting a story inside a medical establishment, so I’ve been browsing artwork along those lines. The piece below is one that particularly grabbed me. I know from personal experience that a little Icy Hot or VapoRub can be pretty painful when applied to delicate tissues. I can’t imagine what it’d be like when slathered on liberally with a painters brush.

It’s not signed but from the style I believe it’s from Tink2001. His work has featured here in the past (for example here, here and here). He has a personal site with a small collection of images located here.

On an entertaining side note I tried putting this into Google’s image search to see what it would come back with. That’s often a good way to find other sites that have featured particular artists. In this case it came back with “Best guess for this image: 3d animal porn”. Not exactly what I was hoping for.

Fun and hijinks in San Francisco

Today’s post marks the return of one of the less heralded stars of the femdom porn scene. Someone who, despite a fine portfolio of work, has yet to attract the big money bookings. Or any kind of bookings. Yes, it’s that prime specimen of rippling submissive man flesh (stop giggling at the back), your host paltego.

These shots were all taken on my recent trip to San Francisco to see Mistress Yuki and Mistress Ai-Li. I mentioned it in a post written while I was there, and you can read my description of a prior visit in this post.

The two shots on the left were taken in my first session with just Mistress Yuki. You can see her reflection in the mirror in the top shot (click to enlarge should you so desire). I always enjoy these custom built bondage chairs, as they’re not particularly uncomfortable to sit in for long periods, but they do make me incredibly vulnerable. Everything is exposed and available for torment. They might not look like much but those plastic clips adorning my chest and genitals were vicious little buggers. Particularly painful when Mistress Yuki chose to grind her knee into them as the bottom left shot shows.

The top right shot was from the double domme session. That’s Mistress Yuki with the camera and Mistress Ai-Li tormenting me in the cage. There was one moment when they were enthusiastically encouraging me to step backwards out the cage, with the only minor drawback being the cords pulling my cock and balls out the front. You can see this from another angle in this image. For a moment or two I was tempted to try the stick plaster approach, and just give it a really good yank to break free. In hindsight I was glad I didn’t, as I might have pulled off a little more than I intended.

The bottom right shot shows me dangling in a harness attached to a powered winch. Like the chair it creates a very exposed position, with both sides of the body as viable targets. It’s particularly ‘interesting’ with two dommes, as they can work you over from front and back simultaneously. Not being able to anticipate where the next blow is coming from creates a very intense and disorientating experience.

We finished off both sessions with some piercing. This shot shows a line of needles created to run down my chest. In the second session the mistresses worked together to create two parallel lines of needles. I always find piercing can be a pleasantly objectifying process, particularly when the decorative aspects of it are emphasized. Having two people talking and working together in a coordinated fashion on my body really helped emphasize that objectifying aspect.

Marked in darkness

I picked this image as a deliberate contrast to yesterday’s post. That one was clean, crisp and clear. There was no doubt what was going on or the context for it. I like this one for pretty much the opposite reasons. None of the figures are particularly clear. There’s a well marked back, but it’s not obvious how or why it has been marked. There’s some rope but I’m uncertain if he has been tied in place or has voluntarily adopted a position of supplication. I can’t even see what the women are holding.

Is it a shot from a play? Religious theater? Performance art? Posted photograph? Porn? The ambiguity is appealing.

The photographer is Stefano Obino. I found it via the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.

More horsing around

Yesterday’s post stimulated some long dormant neurons in my brain. As I was writing about the rarity of real horses in femdom porn, something was niggling me about where I had seen it before.

The answer, after spending some time flipping through my internal femdom filing system, was the old cruella publication Riding Cult. This was a short lived magazine from the early 90’s, featuring lots of boots, jodhpurs and tight tops. Most of their images featured men as horses, as shown in the first shot below. He doesn’t look to be a beast in prime physical condition, but they seem to be enjoying themselves anyway.

Occasionally the magazine also featured real horses, as show in the second shot below. Typically they stuck to fairly traditional riding gear, but in this particular case I think they strayed a little. I’m no riding expert, but those boots don’t look all that practical. High heels and stirrups does not seem like a great combination. On the other hand a haughty stare from horseback does tickle me in hard to reach places, so I’m prepared to overlook the impracticality of the whole thing.

Fetish Density

There’s quite a lot of fetishes packed into this seemingly simply little picture. There’s bondage (he’s in stocks), forniphilia (treating him as a footstool), CFNM and obviously tease and denial. Cuckolding could also feature depending on the relationships between the three of them. Judging by the red marks on his body he has been beaten at some point in the recent past, so we can add general sadism into the mix as well. There’s even high heels for shoe fetishists, although that’s the bit of the picture I like least. Who’d wear ridiculous shoes like that in a garden setting?

By the well known fetishes per megapixel measure (invented 5 minutes ago by yours truly) that comes out as 20.2 palts (named after its brilliant and yet modest inventor). Lookout for this new standard spreading across internet porn sites near you. It’ll make it so much easier to find exactly the level of decadence and depravity you’re really after.

I found this on the Mistress Anastasia tumblr. It’s originally from Planet Femdom.

Double your pleasure, double your agonizing torment

I’m safely back in Seattle after a fun few days in California. Normally blogging service (and email responses and comment replies) should now be resumed.

The night before I left San Francisco I had a very enjoyable but very intense double session with Domina Yuki and Domina Ai-Li. Like my earlier session with just Domina Yuki, we snapped a bunch of photographs, so hopefully I’ll have some good shots to share here. With any luck there might even be an attractive dominant woman in a few of them, rather than just my usual pale scrawny ass.

In the meantime here’s a nice photograph of a happy submissive and a couple of dominant women. Our session didn’t look a lot like this. There was a little less ear nibbling and little more vicious caning. Plus a fair amount of whimpering and non-macho screaming. A stoic silent masochist I am not. However, I do suspect at some points I had a similar happy dreamy smile to the man below.

I found this shot on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr.