Tag: FFm

Kitchen Toy

The kink part of my East Coast tour has sadly come to an end. What’s left is just the part I actually came all the way out here for – doing touristy stuff with family in Washington D.C. I basically used 4 days of family time as an excuse for 10 prior days of debauchery and perverted sexual practices. So … yay me?

While I’ve eaten out at some fantastic restaurants during the trip (Smyth in Chicago and Momofuku Ko in NYC would be the two stand-outs), what I’m really missing right now is my own kitchen and my own food. There’s something very satisfying and fulfilling about prepping and cooking a meal from your own cookbooks and with your own equipment.

Unlike this gentleman, I can’t say I’ve ever taken to naked cookery. Hot liquid droplets and splatters would seem to be an issue. Not to mention the problem of genitals in the proximity of work surfaces. On the other hand, if that’s what it takes to get Mistress Iris and Mistress Eva near my kitchen, it’s certainly a risk I’m prepared to take. I’d happily play prep cook, line cook, busboy and waiter for them.

Image is from this tweet and credited to dk_photo_88. While I’ve sadly not (yet) met Mistress Eva, I can personally attest that Mistress Iris is a fabulous domme to play with.

Bondage Fun in NYC

My East Coast vacation has moved onto New York, and today I was lucky enough to spend some time with Troy Orleans. Much bondage fun was on the menu, featuring chains, open mouth gags, leather straps and plastic wrap mummification. There were also some needles and electricity mixed in there for good measure.

Bondage for me is often the starting point of a session, not the ultimate goal. It’s the thing you have to do before starting the actual kinky activity you’re targeting. But when you’ve got someone with the mad skills of Troy Orleans, not to mention her amazing studio space, it’s nice to turn it around and make bondage itself the focus. It can lead to quite unique headspaces that are somehow stressful and relaxing all at the same time.

This image is Troy in her space, but not with me. This is from her Instagram feed (shot in March) and the domme at the back is Elise Graves. Those metal wires can actually be used to suspend the submissive in space, with that lower bench pulled entirely clear.

How to Deal with Men

This NYTimes article is pretty much perfect link fodder for this blog. It features an ex-dominatrix teaching a class for women on how to tackle power imbalance when dealing with men in conversation and negotiation. I particularly like the fact that the course apparently draws on BDSM, Taoist martial arts and Cesar Millan’s book on dog training. I love the idea of a woman in a business meeting sternly telling a loud man to sit down and be quiet, and then tossing him a biscuit from her handbag.

One quote that I did find slightly surprising was this…

“If I’m in control of you, my attention is outward, so precisely fixed on the other person that I almost forget I exist,” Ms. Urbaniak told the audience. If you’re submissive, “your attention is focused inward, on yourself and your feelings.”

I found that curious, because that’s pretty much the opposite of how I function. When I’m deep in a submissive mind set my focus is intensely on the domme. Everything else floats away, my body is no longer mine and she’s the center of my universe. Conversely, when I’m being forceful in a work situation, my focus originates from a sense of self and confidence in my knowledge and expertise.

If you’re interested in the classes, they’re run by Kasia Urbaniak from something she calls The Academy. I’ve obviously no idea of their efficacy, but I do appreciate the goals and sentiment behind them.

I found this image via some random tumblr, but I believe that’s London based Mistress Evilyne with one of the ‘Boss’ mugs.

Thirst for Knowledge

Much as I appreciate the attractive ladies in the tight dresses, what really makes this image for me is his enthusiastic expression. There is a man with a powerful hunger for some forbidden fruit. If he’d be in the Garden of Eden, that tree would have been stripped bare of apples before God knew what was going on. The serpent wouldn’t even have had time to get his famous sales pitch out. He’d have been less an evil tempter, and more that poor unfortunate creature who got trampled to death as man rushed to grab the fruit of the tree.

According to Wikipedia it’s only in Western Europe that the forbidden fruit is commonly identified as an apple. Other possibilities include grapes, figs and pomegranates. Those actually make more sense to me. I always thought that forbidden fruit should suggest sensuality, temptation and decadence. Apples are perfectly fine as fruit, but they’re also very sensible and boring.  They’re the missionary position with the lights low. Nobody should get kicked out of paradise for that.

This is Ms Renee Trevi with USAFETISH taken from this tweet on her twitter feed.

The Pleasure of Play

I was surprised to see a very well known domme state (on twitter) how much she hated the term ‘play’ when it related to kink and femdom. It’s a term I never used in my early days of kinky exploration – because that was such super serious stuff – but it’s one I’ve come to use and like a lot.

I should say out of the gate that of course femdom can be more than just play. It can be a major part of a relationship, a 24×7 dynamic, a way to modify behavior, an ethos, etc. But let’s face reality. The majority of lifestyle femdom activity and almost all of professional femdom activity is a form of play (from the client perspective). And that’s absolutely not a bad thing.

The Oxford English dictionary defines play as – “Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.” I think most people’s lives are full of serious and practical activities. Going to work, maintaining a house, caring for a family, paying bills – these are all serious and practical activities. Don’t we deserve a break to enjoy some recreation? And what could be more recreational than pulling on fun outfits, tying people up, teasing their erogenous zones or blowing their minds with intense sensations? There’s a reason pro-dommes use sensual, sadistic and playful to describe possible session dynamics and not words like serious, practical and sensible.

I don’t have a problem with someone wanting to get more out of a femdom dynamic than kinky fun times. I love reading about couples that have taken it beyond that level. But given a world serious lacking in fun, and a culture that has some seriously messed up views on sex and kink, why be against the idea of kink as play? Admittedly, sometimes it can be intense, crazy and freaky, but that doesn’t mean it’s not play.

Here’s a somewhat literal representation of play and femdom. This is from Underling.

Who told you to stop?

This is from a Lezhin webcomic series called Sadistic Beauty, written by Yunhee Woo and drawn by Geumsan Lee. You can see more panels from the same sequence in this tumblr post. I don’t know anything about it, other than what you see here, but this sequence definitely make me want to explore it further. The first few episodes are free, and after that it’s just a buck or so an episode.

This wasn’t in Drivers Ed

Apparently in Japan it’s permissible for women to slap male drivers who don’t apply the brakes smoothly. I base this unlikely statement on this advert from Nissan and the fact that advertisers have never lied to me. Femdom fans should therefore avoid at all costs Nissan’s new e-Power system, with threatens to put an end to all to this facial brutality.

Based on its style, this face slapping artwork is clearly by Namio Harukawa.

SF Trip Revisited

As I mentioned in past posts, I was fortunate enough to play with Domina Yuki and Mistress Chloe Mercury in San Francisco last week. Domina Yuki even took timeout from tormenting me to snap a few pictures of our sessions. Luckily for all my readers the play space had a big mirror, which means in addition to my dangly naked bits, the picture also feature the beautiful Domina Yuki.

This one was from the first session we did. There’s some plastic clips on my torso and a well bound package getting squeezed. Domina Yuki draping her leg across my torso was a nice touch. It’s simultaneously sensual, constraining and a position of dominance.

This shows some interesting leg bondage using a combination of leather and ropes. You can see some play piercing on my chest. The obscured piercing on the other side was slightly higher and in the nipple.

I always enjoy suspension bondage, but it’s normally a really lengthy and un-fun thing to set-up. This arrangement, from our second session, using a leather harness and cuffs was great because it gave the same floaty sense of helplessness while taking just minutes to arrange. Plus, it was comfortable, meaning I could focus on the stuff that was actually supposed to hurt, rather than pinching ropes or awkward weight distribution. The weights hanging from the scrotum don’t look much in this shot, but at the time it felt like a medium sized cannonball was suspended there. Particularly when Yuki gave them a kick.

This trip was the first time I ever got to experience a Venus device. It was a surprisingly effective toy. Yuki had it set-up to provide enough stimulation to give me hope – but not quite enough to reach a point of criticality. Frustration ensued. Having it combined with an electroshock device on the cock made for a seriously confusing sensory mix. Having my breathing constrained – in the best possible way – was another layer of sensation to deal with.

It was a fabulous few hours of play, and I consider myself very lucky to get to play with such a talented domme. I really need to try and make it down to San Francisco more often.

This shot is of Domina Yuki and Mistress Chloe with another lucky slave. It’s take from their twitter feeds. I didn’t get to do a double domme session with them, but for anyone interested in that, now would be a perfect time to try it. They’re offering $100 off double session for the next month. I have to imagine that it’d be quite the experience.