Fm – Page 181 – Femdom Resource

Naked man on aisle 3

Ms Justine Cross made me laugh with her recent post on a public humiliation request she’d received from (as she put it) #anotherfuckingidiot.

Sometimes I get a request for public humiliation, which I think is awesome, and I ask, “What does this mean to you?” Then I get a detailed description of being naked, led around with a collar and being made to eat dog food in the grocery store. And then I ask, “What fucking world do YOU live in and can we session there?”

Of course people have tried this kind of thing in the past, as this French couple can testify, but it rarely seems to work out well. Personally I can get horribly embarrassed in almost any situation, up to and including being embarrassed on behalf of fictional sitcom characters I’m watching on television. So any kind of public humiliation is out of my comfort zone, across my panic zone and well into my ‘curl up and die’ zone (I have a lot of zones).

Image is from this gallery from Old Man Equine’s femdom world.

Young Love

When I saw this image I instantly thought of a post I’d seen from Cybill B Troy. In it she’d proffered an apology to her first boyfriend, a young man who probably didn’t realize quite what he was getting himself into. You can read the whole thing over here, but a little excerpt should give the general idea:

Started thinking about that first boyfriend of mine, that sweet sheltered boy, how long did it take him to realize that it probably it didn’t HAVE TO hurt, that it wasn’t exactly typical high-school fraternization to be watching Irene Boss videos after school while I tried to sneak a finger into his ass and see how far down his balls could stretch?

Of course for some of us that sounds like a magical high school romance, but for her first boyfriend, and the young man in the picture below, the magic is probably less obvious. You can’t see much of his expression in the image, but the wide eyed look tells me he’s probably having second thoughts about playing with anal beads. In contrast, she looks both intrigued and amused by the effect of her exciting new toy.

I’m afraid I don’t know the artist. I came across the image on the snail meilk femdom image board.

Happiness is a warm tongue

At least it looks that way according to this beautiful young lady and her submissive foot cleaner.

Image is a very old one from the Young Goddess site.

My nipples explode with delight*

Ms Marie has a recent post soliciting options on nipple torture. Seeing as it is one of my favourite activities, I obviously had to write a lengthy comment as a response. And then, having done that, I felt a post of my own might be in order. It’s actually quite tricky to find a good image of male nipple torture. Probably because it’s less visual appealing than a lot of other activities like spanking or CBT. However, I did manage to track down the image below from the English Mansion site.

There’s actually a lot going on for the submissive here. There’s some scissor style nipple clamps, with a fancy ironwork stand to hold them in place. There’s various straps and cock bondage. And there’s a a hood and collar to keep his head firmly in place. But I suspect when she slides down to take her place on the queening chair, the one thing she’ll be playing with will be those big tempting clamps that look so easy to twist and pull.

* For anyone who doesn’t get the title reference, hang your head in shame. This major gap in your comedic cultural knowledge can be rectified here.

Domme School

Vice magazine recently posted an article describing several days in the life of a NYC pro-domme. The purported set-up was one of their writers following the domme with a view to becoming a professional herself. But the actual format is much the same as it always is for these type of articles, offering readers a chance to look at someone else’s weird and twisted lifestyle.

I’m in two minds about the article itself. On one hand the writer seemed to enjoy herself, and it’s certainly not written from a negative point of view. Coming from something called ‘Vice magazine‘ that’s probably not unexpected. However, I find it hard to imagine a vanilla but potentially kinky person reading it and thinking “Yes, that sounds like something I want to get involved in.” There’s an undercurrent of sleaziness that comes through to me, although I struggle to put my finger on exactly why that is. Perhaps its comments like this one.

The whole scene makes me feel like I’m an actress in a really bad porno. It’s pretty cool.

Having a session that feels like a bad porno movie definitely doesn’t sound cool to me. And in fact, setting the tone of the article aside, the main thing that stood out for me was how incredibly different my sessions are from the ones described. I don’t role-play at all, and my interactions with the domme are both lighter (chatting and joking in early parts of the session) and darker (floating in subspace after some intense pain later on). I also tend to involve a lot more equipment and tools, utilizing everything from simple needles and clamps through to custom dungeon furniture. The type of play in the article sound like a kind of sexual community theater. Where I always feel mine are more like a cross between extreme sports and medieval torture.

That contrast led me to two different conclusions. The first was that it’s easy to fall into the trap of assuming most people play in a way at least vaguely similar to your own preferences. I always get annoyed when non-kinky people pigeon-hole BDSM as simply leather, whips and chains, but I’m probably guilty of doing a similar thing at a different level. It’s easy to forget just how big the kink universe really is. The other conclusion was that a good pro-domme must posses an incredibly ability to shift quickly between different head spaces. I tend to think of the domme skill-set as being a highly technical one: How to do a rope suspension; how to wield a single tail; what’s a safe way to do cutting and piercing. I’m very aware of these kind of technical skills in each and every session. What I don’t see is the transition between sessions and the mental gymnastics needed to create new moods and session themes. Offhand it’s hard to think of another job that requires quite that level of versatility.

Image is taken from page 5 of Vice Magazine article.

The beautiful armpit

When I first saw this image a number of thoughts immediately came to my mind. One was how much I love the scent of a women. Not the perfumed, deodorized and anesthetized scent that the cosmetics industry tries to sell. I mean the real natural earthy scent of an active female body. Another was an appreciation for the expression on his face. That look of relaxed contentment. But I have to admit, the first thought I had was of Stephen Colbert.

Stick with me on this. Weird I know, but I haven’t completely lost it. Earlier this week he did a cutting satirical piece on a new Dove product designed to solve a very serious problem that has plagued women for years – the truly hideous nature of their armpits. If you missed it, the clip is online here. Seeing this image a few days later just reinforced to me how screwed up the cosmetics industry can make people. And watching the Colbert clip again may have just given me a new fetish for licking ice cream from a woman’s armpit (like I need any more weird kinks).

The image comes from the Aeric Meredith-Goujon photography site, under the erotic portraits section. They have a large collection of really incredibly images. Some of the piercing ones caught my eye in particular. For example, I liked this one a lot.

What are you?

The terminology in BDSM is always a source of confusion for me, and in particular the labels people attach to themselves and each other. I remember joining fetlife and being stumped by the mutually exclusive set of options they provided. I think my choices included submissive, bottom, masochist, slave, fetishist and kinkster. I kind of get masochist and fetishist. But what’s the difference between submissive and bottom? Or submissive and slave? Where does kinkster fit in? And why are these mutually exclusive decisions? Can I not have an ‘All of the above’ option?

I was therefore happy to stumble on this post by the very knowledgeable Irene Boss which gives her thoughts on the definitions of these terms. From a personal perspective I also particularly enjoyed the following comment in the article.

It is not uncommon for me to bond (and become friends) with a submissive masochist who also digs bondage, which is the rarest and most enjoyable breed of client for me.

I think that combo of labels captures my particular predilections fairly well. So while I’m guessing it’s unlikely I’ll ever be friends with Irene Boss, it’s nice to know I might make an enjoyable client! Although I am a little surprised by the rarity, as she observes it, of that specific kinky wiring.

When it comes to the D side of the equation, there are an equally mixed set of labels: Dominant, Mistress (or Master), Top and Sadist. But it seems people feel a lot more relaxed about using these interchangeable, or at least that’s my impression. Sadist has a very clear and distinct definition, but the other three get used and swapped fairly freely. I wonder if that’s down to the existence of professional dominants, who are happy to blur their personal boundaries in order to work with a wide variety of clients. Or if it’s a natural outcome that flows from the attitude of a typical dominant personality. i.e. Less obsession with labels and less need to carefully categorize their preferences.

Of course none of this even touches on the idea of a switch, which adds a whole new dimension to the matrix!

So what are you? And do you think the label is useful or matters in anyway?

An illustration of a Mistress/Top/Dominant/Sadist/Kinkster/Fetishist with a Slave/Submissive/Bottom/Masochist/Fetishist/Kinkster (strike all that aren’t applicable depending on your preferences).

OK, so I’ll admit, the image doesn’t relate to much to the text. But I liked it and wanted some eye candy to end the post!

Relaxing on her favorite piece of furniture

It’s probably not as comfortable as a normal armchair, but I expect it is a great deal more satisfying for her to sit on. Not to mention the added benefit of a chair that can quickly move itself to any desired location.

Oxygen is an optional extra

I like to think this image was taken just a few seconds before she slid back a couple more inches and smothered him completely. He looks to be pretty firmly fixed in place. Arms outstretched and held with straps. What looks to be some sort of plastic wrap around his legs. And I think there’s a ball gag in his mouth. She’s been slowly teasing him for the last few minutes, building the anticipation, rubbing back and forth, moving just a little further back each time. Her scent fill his nostrils, and there’s absolutely nothing he can do to stop that final motion that will trap him beneath her beautiful bottom.

I found this image on ‘The diary of a male sub‘ tumblr site. The owner does a nice job of modifying images to keep a consistent theme to his blog, but as usual all attribution tends to get lost in the process, so I’ve no idea of the original source.

Updated: Thanks to FrenchGuy in the comments below for letting me know this is Bobbi Starr in a Divine Bitches shoot. With the help of their useful (if clunky) search function I managed to track it down to this June 2010 live shoot.

Suck it

I debated about posting this particular image for quite a while. TS women seem to provoke a fairly strong reaction in some people, and I’m not referring to the good type of reaction. I’ve been surprised in the past by the hostility I’ve seen displayed from kinky subs on forums and message boards towards the idea or existence of TS dommes. However, after considering the relative pro’s and con’s, I came up with what I thought was a decisive argument. Namely – “Goddamn it, this is my blog, I like it, I’ll post what I like.”

I have to admit I was also prompted to post it from a comment by Orlando on his 333images tumblr blog, where he claimed a lot of the models in TS porn were being exploited in a particularly twisted way. I normally enjoy his images and comments, but this one bugged me slightly. Alarms bells always go off for me whenever I hear someone outside a particular group claim exploitation on behalf of that group. And I think it’s particularly difficult to make a claim of exploitation when you’re talking about consenting adults voluntarily choosing to be paid to perform safe (albeit sexual) activities. Which isn’t to diminish the problems or obstacles TS people face. But I think it cheapens and devalues the real sexual exploitation that’s out there (trafficked women, third world sex tourism, etc.) if you employ the term widely and carelessly.

This shot is from the TsSeduction site and is from a shoot featuring Sexy Jade and Le Rock. It’s available either as part of their subscription package or can be purchased as an individual shoot.