Tag: Fm

Big Day

Warning: This post focuses on politics, a topic I usually avoid here. I’m granting myself a rare exception in unusual circumstances. Normal service will be resumed shortly.

America is choosing it’s next president. As elections go, it’s kind of a big one. As a newly minted American citizen, I got to vote for the first time. I can’t say I got all emotional over it, but it did at least feel like an important rite of passage. Thanks to the weirdness of the electoral college, it probably won’t count for anything, but I at least did my bit.

I think this is the point where I’m supposed to urge my readers to go out and vote. Which, if you’re a Biden support, I absolutely urge you to do. Particularly if you’re in a swing state. If you’re thinking of voting for Trump, then my suggestion to you is best summarized by Bill Hicks and his views on Marketing. Seriously though. You are Satan’s little helpers.

At this point it’s not even a left vs right thing. It’s a basic question of character, competence and human decency. I can respect a right wing political view, even if I disagree with it, but Trump is something totally different. Something from a horror movie. Don’t make me regret adopting this country as my home.

To connect back to this blogs purported theme – let me direct you to this Rolling Stones article on pro-dommes encouraging their clients to vote Blue.  The story even made it into Colbert’s monologue. They’re probably not going to swing the election, but every little helps.

This is one of the domme’s featured in the Rolling Stone article – Mistress Orion. She’s an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her twitter feed here and her OnlyFans here.

Public Play Concluded

Here’s my final post (for the moment) on the topic of public play.

One hard and bright line that’s often invoked is based on the idea of consent. Involving random strangers in your play without their consent is clearly violating some pretty basic BDSM norms. That’s a relatively easy call to make when it comes to physical or psychological involvement. If you’re getting off on strangers getting upset, then you’re getting off by violating their consent. A clear asshole move. But what happens when that’s not your intent, but people get upset anyway? At what point do you need to seek consent from someone?

This isn’t specifically a problem for kinky people. I was reminded of that when I spotted this story on some very well done but very gory Halloween decorations. As a kid, that front lawn scene would have traumatized the fuck out of me. I’d have had nightmares for months. Even now I find it unpleasant to look at closely. So at what point should that home owning Halloween fan have to seek the consent of his neighborhood? Or indeed the consent of anyone who might come down the public street outside his house? At what point should we constrain public freedom of expression? It clearly has to happen at some point, because there will always be someone who pushes a boundary to the breaking point.

I guess my bottom line is: Be wary of blanket statements or simple rules when it comes to public play. It’s always dependent on context and content. I think the leash scene from my original post was over the line, but the scene in the images in yesterdays post is completely fine. Yet it’s very hard to come up with a simple easily applied rule that separates the two.

This photograph represents the kind of ‘public’ play I could get behind. The feel of being outside and exposed, but a big closed door to keep the rest of the world out.

More Public Play

There’s one comparison that always annoys me when the topic of kinky public play comes up. Inevitably someone will liken it to gay people kissing or holding hands in public. Which is a stupid comparison. The problem of straight people complaining about that isn’t the act itself, it’s the double standard. A valid act for one group can’t suddenly become perverted if a different group does it. That’s obviously not analogous to leading a semi-naked slave on a leash through a public space. Nobody else is doing it and it’s very different to a simple hug or a kiss.

On the flipside I think it’s important to be wary of the idea of pleasing everyone when it comes to public behavior. There’s often a framing that suggests people need to compromise so that everyone can enjoy the space and nobody is upset. That’s not a compromise. That’s using the lowest common denominator to set the standard. It makes everyone conform to the most conservative person in the room. A true compromise is when you’re annoying an equal number of people at either extreme. That’s when you know you’ve got it right.

I’ve no idea where these shots were taken, but I do like the mix of expressions in the second shot. If they were aiming for public humiliation I think they failed, as most people in the crowd look to be having a great time.

Playing in Public

A scene featuring a domme leading her puppy submissive on a leash through a supermarket recently went viral on Twitter. If you missed the hoopla, then it was later covered on the Daily Dot. That article is at least 50% advertisements, but it does cover the basics of what happened pretty well.

I have thoughts to share, but no time right now to do so. In the meantime I’ll leave you with  this twitter thread on the topic, which I found surprising nuanced and thoughtful. It’s rare in social media to find a viral tweet trigger a construction discussion. In fact, let’s be honest. It’s rare is social media to find a constructive discussion at all.

Here’s a different example of kinky public play. At least I assume that’s what it is. It could just be the most obliging boyfriend ever. Or, even hotter, she’s texting her boyfriend and he’s just a supportive (quite literally) friend.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this. I fished it out from deep within my tumblr archive.

Theophilus, the dirty dog

For anyone who enjoys the coarser parts of history, I recommend this thread on the graffiti found in the Roman city of Pompeii.  As the author – Marina Amaral – points out, people really haven’t changed a bit. My particular favorite was this one…

“Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog”

It’s an intriguing mental image. I’m assuming it doesn’t mean that the dogs of Pompeii were particularly licky, but that Theophilus liked to get down on all fours to perform the act. An early Roman example of a submissive perhaps?

This photograph is by the Ukrainian photographer Ruslan Lobanov (deviant art, instagram and artlimited site). Hopefully, a million tons of hot ash isn’t about to engulf this particular couple.

Heartwarming

Somehow I missed this heartwarming story from back in May – Quarantine Leading To More People Taking In Foster Gimps. Quarantine has been tough on a lot of people, but it’s nice to know that many abandoned gimps  have found dungeons of their own. Remember, a gimps for life, not just for quarantine. Note: Main story starts about 1:40 into the audio segment.

Artwork is by Sleinad Flar. You can find his Deviant Art site here and his BDSMLR site here.

Locktober to the Max

I’m continuing the metal bondage theme with this astonishing metal body cage owned by Amanda Wildefyre. Forget locking just the penis up – here’s a way to guarantee there’s no hanky-panky of any sort. It looks like it has been paired with an inflatable rubber body suit, just to really crank the confinement kink up to 11.

Amanda Wildefyre is a Minneapolis based pro-domme, with a really incredibly collection of equipment. If you can’t visit in person, then she also has a clips store here.

Lockdown

I’m sure most readers have already seen the story featured in today’s post. It’s been covered in the tech press, the mainstream press and sex blogs. It even popped up on Colbert’s Late Show. Yet I feel I really couldn’t hold my head up high as a femdom sex blogger if I didn’t mention the Bluetooth enabled chastity device that has a horrible security flaw. Apparently during penetration testing (huh huh) security researchers discovered that attackers could take control of the lock, as well as scan for contacts and location information.

From the tech perspective, I think this is the kind of hacking story we should get used to seeing. It’s getting cheaper and cheaper to add this technology into products of all types. There are lots of small companies springing up making specialized internet enabled devices and security is hard to get right and hard for end users to understand. That inevitably makes it a low priority for the manufacturers.

From the sex perspective, there seems to be a bit of a disconnect between the reporting and what chastity device users normally say. The mainstream articles suggests you might require heavy duty angle grinders to escape. What I’ve read in the past from chastity device users is that pretty much any device is removable if it doesn’t involve a piercing. Give it enough lube and wiggling and the male genitals are capable of  Houdini-esque feats of escape.

This drawing – featuring a far more traditional device – is by The Smutty Rogue.

Oxymoron?

Writing my last post raised a question for me: Is it ever possible to do a consensual blackmail scene? Isn’t it actually an impossibility?

Consensual blackmail is clearly a well established niche in findomme play. The domme gets hold of embarrassing material, either directly from the submissive or by creating it from their interactions, and uses it to threaten the submissive. It might be used as a one-off scene or part of an ongoing dynamic involving regular payment.

The thing that makes me question the consensual element isn’t the role of the domme or the submissive. It’s the need for a third party. Pretty much by definition there must be someone who’d be shocked by the material exposed. Blackmail isn’t effective because of the dynamic between the blackmailer and blackmailee. It works because it leverages the relationship between the blackmailee and the other people in their life. If they don’t care, there is no leverage. But if they do care, then how is this ever consensual? The need for shock and offense seems an intrinsic part of the recipe.

I guess you could roleplay the idea of exposing the information, with both parties agreeing that the final step would never be taken. However, that doesn’t typically seem to be how these things play out. It’d certainly drain a lot of energy out of the scene. Roleplay typically focuses on the context and setting for the scene, not the execution. A teacher/student scene is a roleplay, but the beating is still real.

This artwork is by Lera Balashova, found on her Dribble site.