Tag: Fm

Communication Breakdown

The wider acceptance of kink and the corresponding uptick in mainstream articles on it is a good thing. Less stigma is good. More people open to indulging in kink is good. Unfortunately the quality of the mainstream articles is somewhat erratic. For example, take this recent Cosmo one on Cuckolding. It’s not terrible, and it’s certainly positive on the kink. In fact that’s actually kind of the problem. It’s possible to be too positive.

Cuckolding is a great way of strengthening communication in a relationship, as it requires honesty from both partners about what they enjoy, what they don’t and what their boundaries are if they do feel jealous or uncomfortable.

It’s certainly true that cuckolding requires good communication. However, this makes it sound like cuckolding would be a good option to improve communication in a relationship that has a problem with it. I’m not a therapist, but I’m fairly sure that first step in strengthening  communication with your partner isn’t sleeping with other people.

This reminds me of people who think that the solution to a rocky relationship is to have a child. Because when two people are stressed and unhappy, the obvious answer is to add a small screaming person who’ll dominate their lives for the next 18 years. I’ve known two couples like that and it worked out about as well as you might expect. I’m guessing that cuckolding, like having children, is a good way to make a great thing better and a bad thing even worse.

I’m not sure of the background to this image, or who the artist is, but it definitely has a strong cuckolding vibe to it. If anyone can help me attribute it, then please leave me a comment.

Puppy Dog Eyes

I’ve remarked before that a strong love of animals seems to be a common trait among pro-dommes. I suspect it’s actually a common trait for sex workers in general, but my personal experience obviously skews towards dommes.

It’s therefore a smart move for the submissive here – who I think is Deviant Kade – to deploy the puppy dog eyes in a search for sympathy. It doesn’t appear to be working all that well, but you’ve got to give him full marks for the effort.

This is obviously from the Captive Male site.

Ambiguous Moment

My favorite femdom images are often those with a degree of ambiguity to them. The kind that let you project your own stories and fantasies into them. For example, what’s happening in the image below? Is this a candid shot captured between filming a scene? Aftercare at the end of a whipping? Or just a pause and a chance to inspect her handiwork before wielding the whip again? I like to imagine it as a caring sensual moment, a contrast of touch and sensations to the intensity of the whip. But that probably says more about my kinks than it does about the image itself.

I believe the domme here is Lady Diosa. I’m not aware of a professional site for her, but she does have films posted here.

Warning Signs

Apologies for the lack of an update yesterday. This was due to me being collapsed on my couch in a post session haze of endorphins. I had my first session of 2020 yesterday, and Savannah Sly made it a highly memorable one. 

There are two key warning signs that something particularly painful is about to happen when playing. The first is if the domme briefly disappears to find a specific toy and reemerges with a particularly gleeful expression. Whatever she has found will not go well for you. The second sign is if she starts to do something, then pauses, and decides she needs to muffle your moans before proceeding. She might be concerned about the neighbors, but you should be more concerned with what’s about to happen to your delicate parts.

In the case of our session yesterday, the toy in question was Savannah’s medical stapler and (equally important) the staple removal tool. The muffling was required when she decided to apply it to the tip of the cock. Right over the urethral opening. Ouchy.

Here’s a different medical scene showing one of the more fun ways to muffle a patient’s screams. This is of course by the artist Rubex.

Delicious!

At first glance this seems like a perfectly ordinary photograph. Just an attractive masked lady drinking a can of La Croix in a kitchen while a naked man with strange headgear cooks in the background. I’m sure that counts as any Tuesday in Domina Yuki’s world. However, if you look closely, very closely, at the can in the original fullsized image, there is an subtle hidden message. For anyone whose device doesn’t let them zoom effectively, I’ve done the work for you here. There’s absolutely no danger of ever having a shortage of that particular product.

From this tweet in Domina Yuki’s twitter feed.

Name that Toy

Today’s vintage shot features a rather strange toy. It looks like a feather duster that got attacked by moths or a device for scrubbing out boiler pipes. I’m not sure if it’s a tickly thing, a slappy thing or a hitty thing. A softer way to cane someone maybe?

I’ve seen similar toys in other old kinky shots, so it was clearly a thing you could buy back then. I’ve never encountered it in a modern playspace or seen one for sale online, so presumably it wasn’t a lot of fun to use. Any ideas from readers on what exactly this strange thing is and how it’s used?

Doggishness

Continuing the vintage theme, here is what looks like an early example of public humiliation and/or puppy play. I say ‘looks like’, because it turns out that this isn’t a D/s or porn shot, but is in fact Art. I originally guessed it was a domme in 60’s London, but it was actually shot in Vienna in 1968 as a piece called “From the Portfolio of Doggishness.” Clearly I don’t have to explain to my highly educated readers what makes this art rather than a couple of kinksters screwing with the locals for giggles, as I’m sure it’s self-evident.

The woman holding the leash is Valie Export and I have to say I do like her slightly disinterested pose and expression here. I would say it’s hot, but that obviously wouldn’t be appropriate for a serious artistic piece of this nature. 

As a slightly random observation, I do think it’s funny that the image of Lucy SweetKill I featured recently appears to capture the idea of Doggishness far more accurately than this image does. Almost all dogs are way more enthusiastic about going for a walk than the man (Peter Weibel) is here.

Vintage Tech. Timeless Kink.

I feel a series of old vintage femdom photographs coming on. We’ll start with a slightly unusual example. Normally it’s the fashion choices or badly performed kink activities that identify an image as vintage. In this case the fashion choice and the kink is fairly timeless. It’s the technology in the background that really gives it away.

For any of my readers under 30, that’s a TV with an aerial on top of it. You’d have to go and wiggle the aerial to get a decent signal on the channel you’d chosen. Fortunately, you’d have already walked across the room to change the channel anyway, so you were perfectly placed to mess with the aerial at the same time.  That’s efficiency for you. 

Submissive Gaming

Yesterday’s post got me thinking more generally about the intersection between videogames and kink. Obviously using sex and fetish to sell videogames is nothing new and, like every genre of art, there have been sexually explicit examples from its earliest days. What I’m more interested in are the mainstream games that plug into a BDSM or D/s vibe. The kind that push our kinky buttons without us necessarily being immediately aware of it.

There’s a clear link between topping and playing videogames, in that both are about control, flow and mastery of the local environment. That’s obviously what Gita Jackson in yesterday’s article picked up on. From the submissive perspective it’s a little trickier. For example, I can’t imagine a videogame about being tied up would work all that well. What would the controls be like? Mash Y to moan. Hit X to safeword if pain meter fills up. Wiggle the thumbstick to move your fingers and prevent ‘Game Over’ due to pins and needles. It probably wouldn’t be a bestseller. 

There are plenty of games that involve rescuing a princess or some equivalent trophy female character, but they’re clearly not femdom. The female character is passive and helpless. There are an increasing number of games with powerful female leads, but they don’t tie to a D/s dynamic. For a game to push my kinky buttons it’d need an active and powerful female character that drives the story, but also the ability for me to have a fun gaming experience acting in support of her. That’s a tricky combination to find.

I’d guess the best place to look for examples would be RPGs. They typically have different characters working together and interesting mixes of genders and power dynamics. For example, both Final Fantasy VIII and IX had feisty female leads (Rinoa and Garnet respectively) with the male lead character working on their behalf. Hunting around online I also came across this video from the game Ni No Kuni 2, which clearly has a femdom slant to it. Does anyone have any other game suggestions? Anything that pushes both their controller and their kinky buttons? I’ve been pondering it all day and haven’t come up with much.

Medieval concepts of chivalry are an obvious dynamic for games with a femdom slant. Just as long as the Queen is the type to charge into battle and not spend all day moping around in her castle.

Unexpected Juxtaposition

I had one of those odd moments today where my kinky world and my regular world briefly crossed streams. I was waiting for my afternoon coffee while flipping through mainstream sites on my phone and totally not prepared for Mistress An Li to pop up in an opinion piece on a videogame site. 

The article in question is this one, and it’s a well written piece on the sexiness of the 2019 game Control. Sexiness in videogames is obviously nothing new, but in this case it’s less about the appearance of the protagonist and more about her confidence, power and mastery of her environment. That leads the writer into a BDSM connection and in turn to interviewing and quoting Mistress An Li (someone I sessioned with last year). I think the article does a great job of connecting all the dots together in a meaningful way, and not simply using a pro-domme or BDSM as clickbait. I was left surprised, impressed and with a desire to go play the game.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s instagram. You can also find her here on twitter and visit her professional site here.Â