Great Line or the Greatest Line?

I have to thank Eris Martinet for sharing what might be my favorite chat-up line of all time. I assume it was delivered at a BDSM party and obviously came from a male admirer.

I’ve come to meet you at this party for a free caning. Now would you like to see photos of my Lamborghini?
Via this tweet.

I just love how much is going on and how little self-awareness exists in those few words. It takes real talent to boast about wealth while simultaneously communicating how cheap you are.

For any readers that can’t see the problem then may I also direct your attention to this article – Penis extensions don’t work, study finds. I know there’s no direct connection between these, but I have the feeling that the kind of guy that boasts about his Lamborghini to a domme he just met is also the kind of guy who’d be in the market for a penis extension. It turns out those operations are about as successful as this line was.

This is Miss Martinet (from her social media feed) spanking Mia, who is doubtless a lot more intelligent and courteous in her approach. If you’re interested in being on the receiving end yourself, then Miss Martinet is UK based and specializes in domestic discipline and behavior correction. Her professional site is here. Oddly her contact form doesn’t have a question on it about what vehicle you drive.

In at the Deep End

When I was a young child I used to enjoy a BBC series called In at the Deep End. It featured a couple of journalists trying to master particular professions (hairdresser, butler, auctioneer, etc.) while being advised and trained by experts. Back in the days of 4 TV channels and no internet, this counted as quality entertainment. I hadn’t thought of the series in decades, but then this Vice article on being a Stunt Cock brought it all back to mind.

The stunt cock in question is trying the experience for the first time and learning as he goes. He first gets to feature in a scene with Alyssa Reece and then with Mistress T and one of her cuckold clients. The total payment for the cuckold scene is $200, which sounds like a great deal for getting to have sex with Mistress T, until you read the article. Then it seems less like happy sexy fun, and more like a fair amount of stress and emotional work.

Sadly the original BBC series never included a stunt cock episode. Personally I think seeing a serious BBC journalist try to maintain an erection on camera while a random member of the public stared at him from the corner of the room would make for a great 30 minutes of entertainment.

This image is from Mistress T and one of her cuckold themed tweets.

LA Fun Continued

My LA session fun continued yesterday with Mistress Damiana Chi. Which I’m not going to talk about. That’s because we shot some photographs, so I need to get and edit those before posting about the session itself. Hopefully that’ll happen in the coming days.

Instead, I’ll move onto what I got up to today with Mistress An Li. Glutton for punishment that I am, I ended up with back to back to back sessions. This was the first time An Li and myself had played together, which is always an interesting situation. I’d swapped just a couple of emails, chatted for a few minutes, and suddenly I’m naked and getting smacked around by this total stranger. Admittedly, it’s a very attractive stranger in sexy fetish wear who does this thing for a living but, after all these years of play, it’s still kind of weird.

I’m not sure our respective play styles really meshed all that well. I tend to a more playful, chatty style that eases into the serious stuff. I like a positive collaborative approach, rather than a more serious dynamic that leans  towards humiliation and negative feedback. That’s absolutely not a criticism – a lot of submissives love that style – but it’s not a natural one for me. Despite that I think we ended up having an enjoyable session.

Foot fetishism doesn’t do much for me, but I do love scent play, so having An Li smoosh her sweaty feet in my face while smacking me in the balls was pretty hot. There was also some nicely judged flogging, spanking and caning thrown into the mix, along with some some leather and chain bondage. I particularly enjoyed An Li’s approach to jangling chains and throwing them down hard on the floor. That creates a very evocative sound which really catches the attention, particularly when you’re naked and bent over a piece of dungeon furniture.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s website.  If you’re in the LA area and want to play in person then her session information is here. Alternatively, you can buy her clips here and see her social media posts here.

Do What You Love?

It’s often said you should choose a career that mirrors your passion. The quote “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is typically attributed to Confucius and best summarizes that viewpoint. Personally I’ve always been skeptical of it. I followed my passion into writing software and I’ve definitely worked a non-zero number of days in my life.

This blog post on BDSM burnout by  Hywel Phillips shows another risk of mixing work and passion together. In his case, after years of running a small BDSM bondage production company, he’s experiencing burnout, expressed by the death of his kinky inner fantasy life. That’s obviously a worrying situation as it puts at risk both his livelihood and his own sexual health.  It’s a thought provoking read and highlights a particular challenge of sex work that’s often overlooked. Hopefully his plan for a sabbatical will help him recover his passion.

This might look like a service submissive following his passion, but in fact this man is really into model railways. Being dismissively treated by his attractive and haughty boss is just another job for him. During his daily appraisal and punishment beating his mind will already be drifting to the new signal box model he’s putting together.

Tingling in all the Right Places

Physical mementos of sessions are nothing unusual. Over the years I’ve had all kinds of marks, bruises and tender parts to admire after our play has finished.  Tonight is a little different, as I have a light but persistent tingling sensation in my nipples and genitals. It’s almost like a very gentle electric current is being applied.

This tingling comes courtesy of Ms Savannah Sly and the carefully cultivated stinging nettles from her garden. The odd thing is that in our session together the sensation only seemed to last a few minutes from the initial application of the nettle leaf. It was fairly intense, particularly when applied to the glans, but relatively brief. Only at the end, when cleaning up and getting dressed, did awareness of the tingle return. I guess the brain can only focus on so much at once, and all the pinching, biting and medical stapling that Savannah was doing quickly overtook the tingling.

Allegedly yogurt or apple cider vinegar are helpful in relieving the effect. I was tempted to experiment and post the results, but in the end I was just enjoying the tingle too much. It was a nice reminder of a very fun session.

Fortunately for me, just a small number of nettle leaves were involved in my scene. It wasn’t the enormous bundle on display here. That looks like it’d cause a bit more than a tingle.

I believe the original site this image is from has ceased to exist.

At Ease in the Garden

Here’s a final entry in my trio of posts that fall under the category of  “Not for me, but wow, is that’s a lovely image’.

I love her composed elegance, and the color coordination of their outfits. Black, white and red used perfectly throughout. They even found a white bench and red riding crop. Plus, it’s nice to see a domme in a stylish hat that doesn’t look like a cast off from a military surplus store.  Personally, I don’t like playing outside or doing public scenes, but this shot really works.

I believe this from a modern Femdom magazine called ‘Goddess Love’. Apparently such things still exist in Japan, and even feature artwork from Sardax. I’m not sure if you can get it the US or Europe, but any Japanese readers might want to take a look. It makes me sad we don’t have similar magazines in the US/UK anymore.

In Your Face

I hadn’t intended my last entry – featuring pony play artwork – to be the start of a sequence of posts where I like the imagery a lot more than specific activity itself. However, that might be where we’re heading.

This image is from Mistress Blunt, and I love it, despite not really being into feet or foot worship. It’s very intimate, sinuous and sexual, while still retaining that D/s dynamic. The tweet was tagged as #romance, and that seems very appropriate. If feet in my face has to be a thing, this would undoubtedly be my favorite way to do it.

Mistress Blunt is an NYC based pro-domme.

Cute Pony and Owner

I’m not personally a fan of participating in pony play. Being a pony often appears to involve hard physical work, and no part of that is sexy to me. I’d rather play the part of the lazy stable lad who gets whipped by the lady of the manor for not cleaning her boots properly. But I digress. I mention ponies because I stumbled across this image by The Smutty Rogue. It’s cute as hell, and has a fun playful energy to it. I believe its modeled on DrPonyBatBond and Mistress Michelle Lacy. It’s not going to convince me to pull on a pony hood, but femdom art like this is always appreciated.

You can see more images in this series via this tweet. The artist will also accept commissions.

Cute Toilet

It’s not often I find myself using the word cute in connection with a toilet play scene, but I guess this post will have to be the exception. The image below is Bastienne Cross on her rather unique toilet, found via this tweet. You can see another angle of the table like toilet in this image (from this tweet), with the subby’s feet just sticking out at the top. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dungeon toilet design quite like this one.

Where most people take a book to the bathroom, Bastienne obviously prefers bubbles.

Bastienne Cross is a Toronto based pro-domme.