Tag: Fm

What’s in the box?

While I’m on the subject of unusual dungeon equipment, here’s an interesting bondage box from the English Mansion. I’ve never seen anything similar in any playspace I’ve visited, which, now I think about it, seems kind of surprising. I imagine it’d be quite a head trip and it doesn’t look too hard to manufacture. Although maybe it would be tricky to use? You couldn’t really wrap someone in place, so you’d have to wrap them first, and then somehow get them into the box. Of course you could always use a leather body bag with it rather than mummification, combined with packing material to pad for different body shapes.

I love the objectification element of it, although I’m not sure how my mild claustrophobia would cope. From the clasps on the side, I assume there’s a lid that would go on. That’s simultaneously hot and scary.

The lady on the other end of the nipple lamps is of course Mistress T.

Thanks for all the Fish

People taking on the role of dogs, ponies and cats in kinky play is pretty common. This image is the first I’ve seen that suggests dolphin might also be a viable pet play option.

Maybe it’s a new approach that Seaworld should consider? Movies like Blackfish have been a PR nightmare for them. How about letting the animals go and replace them with hot athletic submissive swimmers? I’d happily go watch a lady in a bathing suit try and train a naked man to balance a ball or jump through a hoop.

This is by the photographer Vassilis Pitoulis and entitled The Bait.

Martini with a Twist

My favorite part of any yoga session is drinking the gin martini at the end of it. Admittedly that particular finishing position (seated, legs crossed at ankles, glass stem firmly held in the right hand, lemon twisted) is my own particularly innovation, and not found in the more traditional yoga schools. However, I find it’s just the thing to achieve true relaxation after physical exertion.

Judging by this image, Blake Lively obviously shares my love of the gin martini with a twist. She’s even using a gin I like from the Pacific Northwest. The combination of a naked man with a kitchen countertop is more questionable. Particularly given this particular position hints at pegging. I think I’m safe in saying that nobody wants any santorum near their kitchen surfaces or their martini.

This was from Blake Lively’s instagram feed and is a promotion shot (I think) for her latest movie A Simple Favor.

Intermezzo

Apologies for the short post. My vacation is proving fun but somewhat intense. Yesterday I had a second extended session with Mistress Tess. I’ll feature some photographs from that in a future post. Today I visited an aircraft carrier and then ate way too much food. Tomorrow I’m lucky enough to be playing with Troy Orleans. While my brain may love this kind of high sensation vacation, my body would rather vote for a beach,  spa and yoga type trip.

I actually wanted to write about this twitter thread, as I thought it was an interesting one to tease apart. But I guess I’ll save that for when I’m back in Seattle. In the meantime, here’s a nice image by The Smutty Rogue to celebrate Locktober.

From this post on The Smutty Rogue’s tumblr.

Side Eye

This is a lovely old shot from the era of Weimar Berlin. The two figures are Margo Lion and Wilhelm Bendow, cabaret performers from 1927. She looks fabulously composed and stylish. He makes me think of every date I’ve ever been on. There’s a touch of cat and mouse about the pair, assuming that mice brought flowers for cats prior to being eaten.

I believe I found this on the twitter feed of Severin.

Working from Different Baselines

This article – The female price of male pleasure – isn’t femdom and isn’t even recent (Jan ’18). However, I found it thought provoking and it’s my blog, so here it is.

The basic thrust of the article is that men and women operate on very different scales when it comes to sex and pleasure. For men the range is boring to awesome, for women the range is painful/scary/coercive to awesome. That leads to very different baselines and different normal expectations. On top of that, society has conditioned us to make the male expectation the default one, to the point where people don’t even realize other expectations exist, which in turn distorts any discussion about it.

Although it’s  not about kink and femdom, I think the articles basic point is actually equally applicable to them. If you look around at the online representation of femdom, it would be hard to argue that male pleasure isn’t the primary focus of 95% of it. The dicks might be getting squashed, smacked, beaten, locked up, teased or laughed at, but the dick is still the primary focus. It’s ironic that in a realm where the purported focus is female pleasure and male pain, it’s typically still the women clambering around in the uncomfortable outfits while the men get to sit back and soak in the sensations they crave.

I don’t really have any wise words on how to address this. Hell, this blog is just as guilty of perpetuating the status quo. But if a discussion is going to be productive, all parties have to at least be operating with a shared understanding and a common context. So perhaps just acknowledging the different contexts and baselines that are operating here is a useful first step.

It was tricky to pick and image for this particular topic. I figured a dominant woman enjoying both a candle lit bubble bath and a bound silenced slave to drip hot wax onto was a pretty good representation of what should be pleasure for all concerned. This is Goddess Viper,  a pro-domme based in Manila, with the image taken from her twitter feed. My thanks to Lucy Sweetkill for the original article link.

Chemistry over Cash

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post on the topic of pro-domination and the amount taken as tribute. In that post I argued that the number one factor that drove tribute was the local cost of living and property prices. However, that’s not the whole story. If you look just at a single city and take an average across tribute values, you’ll still find a non-trivial variance. I’ve occasionally seen as much as a two times variance in hourly rate within the same metropolitan area. So what gives with that? Is the experience offered by some pro-dommes that much better?

…There’s a slight pause at this point while I strap my flameproof pants on…

In my entirely personal and anecdotal experience, the answer to that question is no. Among the various well established and independent dommes I’ve played with, I’ve never observed a correlation between session quality and tribute rates. I’ve had lots of amazing sessions and I’ve had a few very average sessions, and which was which always came down to personal chemistry and all the other intangibles that  go along with great kinky play. The amount of cash I had to show up with never made any difference. It’s the same story with equipment and general professionalism. I know dommes with mad scientist levels of equipment stuffed into their play space who charge less than dommes who play out of hotel rooms.  I had one domme who was charging 50% over the average San Francisco rate show up two hours late to our session, where Lydia, who charged around the average for Seattle, was never once late in 100+ sessions.

Of course you should never ever haggle over tribute rates. A pro-domme, or a sex worker of any type, can set her rates at whatever she wants and absolutely have that rate respected. If you don’t want to pay it, then don’t contact her. However, don’t be tempted to think that higher necessarily means a better experience. If you’re budget limited, you’ll almost certainly be able to find an amazing domme who doesn’t charge more than the average for her part of the world.

Of course, everything I just wrote applies only to regular professional kinky play. If you’re into findom of the kind depicted by Sardax here, then all bets are off.

Money, money, money

When it comes to paying a professional dominant – the ‘tribute’ in the industry parlance – it’s said that you get what you pay for. My social media feeds frequently features this sentiment expressed in various different ways, both by pro-dommes and their clients. In other words the quality of the dominant and the experience she offers correlates strongly to the size of the tribute she demands. But is this true?

I can obviously only comment from my limited personal experience, which is entirely with independent and well established pro-dommes.  However, within that limited set, I’d say the number one correlation with the tribute amount isn’t the skill of the domme, but the cost of real estate in her location. High cost cities make it expensive to maintain both a playspace and a personal residence. They also tend to have a highly paid client base who can afford higher fees. So Manhattan has always had very high hourly tribute rates. San Francisco wasn’t too bad a decade or so ago, but has become a lot more expensive in recent years.  Seattle isn’t in San Francisco’s league yet, but is beginning to trend in that direction.

Keeping all this in mind, if there are any American submissives out there with cash on the hip, vacation time in the bank, and a kinky itch to scratch, my top recommendation would be to visit Los Angeles. It’s got a huge and talented pro-domme community, but its sprawling layout leads to a cheaper cost of living and significantly lower tribute rates. For example, Isabella Sinclaire is undoubtedly an outstanding domme, with the skills to match anyone in the world. Yet, her rate for 2 hours is (at the time of writing) $500, which is significantly below the SF average and way below the NYC average. She also has an amazing and well equipped play space.

I hated LA when I first visited it back in the 90’s, but it’s probably the one place in America I’d now consider living outside Seattle. If you’ve not been then I definitely recommend it. Just steer clear of the Hollywood tourist traps.

This shot is from Isabella’s instagram feed. Her contact information for scheduling professional sessions is here.

What a lovely long … cigarette holder.

I think this is a great image, although it’s a somewhat strange one. Based on the tweet I discovered it, this is the actress Alexis Smith shot in 1947. I’d therefore guess it’s a studio promotion shot for the movie The Two Mrs Carrolls that she starred in that year. It was directed by Peter Godfrey, who presumably is the diminutive man with the match. The movie and his direction got a critical pummeling, but at least he got to light her cigarette. Every cloud has a silver lining.