Fmm – Page 5 – Femdom Resource

Once you go kink, you never go back

I was chatting to a vanilla friend about kink recently. Nothing to explicit. Just a very general discussion about the psychological and emotional elements of it. She’s not kinky but is a pretty experienced and well rounded person. So I was surprised to hear her suggest that obviously my kinky interests would replace any interest I had in PIV sex. Apparently in her mind once someone started down the slope of rope, leather and whips, they were forever lost to the world of regular intercourse.

I was initially kind of shocked by this. I see my kinky interests expanding my horizons, not limiting them. I love a good regular fuck as much as the next non-kinky guy. Why would one pleasure replace another? However, in hindsight I can kind of see where she was coming from. The mainstream representation of kink normally features people with serious hang-ups and highly specific interests. Fetishists and sadomasochists are often portrayed as constantly pushing their limits, interested only in seeking their next big rush. Even the original definition of masochism, by Krafft-Ebing, defined it as a replacement of normal sexual life.

By this perversion his sexual instinct is often made more or less insensible to the normal charms of the opposite sex – incapable of a normal sexual life – psychically impotent.
Krafft-Ebing from Psychopath Sexualize, 1876

In reality I suspect that the percentage of kinky people who have no interest in regular sex is very small. When I mentioned this topic to Lydia she guest-imated that number at 5% of kinky people. I think that number would come as a big surprise to a lot of vanilla folks.

Of course it’s possible I haven’t just had the right mind-blowing kinky experience yet. Would a FMM threesome be the thing to push me onto a slippery slope of depravity I can never return from? I feel it’s my duty to investigate further. While I do so, I’ll leave you to enjoy this threesome image found on the Selina Minx tumblr.

Luxury

Today marks my last full day in Vegas before flying back to Seattle. Sadly I haven’t yet managed to get myself as pampered as the lady below, but it has been close at times. I was going to add that every hotel room should come with a couple of naked helpers to help pour the champagne, but then it struck me I’m a masochist/submissive, so I’d probably get bored with that.

I haven’t got up to any kinky shenanigans this trip, but for anyone planning on mixing travel with kink, Lily has a useful post she published a few days ago.

I found this on the Geek Domme tumblr. The watermark doesn’t appear to go to a still valid site.

When the going gets weird…

Weirdness often seems to occur at the intersection between the ordinary and the extraordinary. For example, while BDSM dungeons are unusual places, I don’t find them weird at all. Everything is in a common context. However, discovering one of my distinguished elderly aunts sipping a cup of tea while browsing a collection of nipple clamps in a dungeon, now that’d be weird. And possibly therapy inducing.

Pornography is a similar story. I can look at a picture of a bound man sucking a half naked transsexual and just think it’s a hot visual. Yet, occasionally there will be some weird juxtaposition of elements in a scene that turn it into WTF moment. Take the shot below for example. It’s not the dog hood alone that makes it weird. It’s the nonchalant way he’s wearing it, relaxing on the living room couch in his weekend casuals. Exactly what’s the role play here? I think if he was naked and leashed on the floor, in a bizarre way, it’d be a lot more normal a scene.

I found this on the All About Me (aka dominant damp knickers) tumblr. It’s originally from the Sharing My Wife site.

The usual lengthy visit

A few days ago I was waffling about image context, and how it can make a difference in how I respond to an image. Surround an image with other femdom material and I’ll suddenly see D/s elements that weren’t there originally. Well this is the post where I provide a counter-example to that theory.

I first came across the image below on the Alternative Femdom tumblr. Given that source my immediate thought was “Cuckold shot.” There’s a couple making out and a solo male looking unhappy. In femdom porn that combination always equals cuckold. Yet the more I looked at it, the less right that felt. It doesn’t seem to depict jealousy, tension or arousal. The overriding feeling I get is of loneliness and depression. I don’t think it’s his partner with her bra strap showing. I think it’s his roommates, and there lies the pain. If anything it’s thoughtless sadism and self-inflicted masochism.

The painting is called ‘The usual lengthy visit‘ and is by the Vancouver artist Andrew Young. I love his work, and this piece in particular. You can see some of the ‘in progress’ shots for it here, here and here. It’s not femdom, but I think it beautiful captures an experience and emotions many of us have felt at some stage in our lives.

You might be a redneck if…

…you don’t enjoy cuckolding. At least that’s according to this article on it over at the Daily Beast (thanks to Suzanne for the link). It’s an interesting article, but based on what seems to be a flawed premise. Its primary contention is that cuckolding is S&M for smart people. A type of psychological torture that is ideal suited to kinky members of Mensa.

In this respect, cuckolding attracts “the very highly educated,” Paul says, adding that it’s “truly intellectual in its enterprise because it replaces sexual touch with humiliation and emotional pain, both of which are psychological. Most of what gives me physical pleasure has to go on in my brain. I’m totally being classist, but this isn’t like people in redneck bars asking each other, ‘You wanna fuck my wife?’ It’s much more complex. It’s pleasure on a different level.”
Dr Paul Pines

Given the focus on intelligence, it’s ironic that the article itself comes across as so dumb. For one thing the conflation of intelligence with emotional masochism seems incredibly simplistic. Yes, they’re both something to do with the brain. But so is pretty much anything we experience, including physical pain. Any kind of D/s is about power dynamics and relationships, which are an intellectual construct. I’m also not a fan of the presumably corollary, that if emotional masochism is for smart people then physical masochism must be better suited for the hairy knuckle crowd. As someone who enjoys a carefully delivered beating, me no happy bout that type of finkin.

I guess one argument they could be making is that you need to be smart to deal with the jealousy and emotional risks of cuckolding. That would presuppose that smart people are more emotionally mature. That supposition doesn’t correspond with anything I’ve observed in reality. I work in the software industry with a lot of scarily smart people. I have friends working in places like Google, Microsoft and Facebook on some of their most complex products. PhD’s are as common as expense cellphones, badly fitting T-shirts and intellectual arrogance. When I think about these people, emotional maturity is not a description that leaps to mind. Nor does it hop, saunter or nervously peer round the door into mind. These are the kind of people who can become emotionally unhinged arguing over indent styles. God knows what they’d make of someone treating their significant other as a shared resource and playing with her ACL’s (sorry, geek humor) *.

For an accompanying image I thought I’d go with something I found on the Felm Cyber tumblr. I like it for the distorted perspective, exaggerated bodies and weird decor. They give it a jangly off-kilter feel, which is a good match for the emotions involved. I’m afraid I couldn’t track down an artist attribution.

* Note that I’m not saying that smart people can’t be emotional mature. Or that computer geeks can’t be into cuckolding. Just that the correlation between PhD smart and the ability to deal with an emotionally fraught situation is very much unproven.

Screw the roses

I really hate Valentines Day. This is not because I’m a miserable curmudgeon (that’s just a coincidence), and I certainly don’t dislike a romantic gesture at the right time. But Valentines Day is amateur hour. If you need a special day as a reminder to buy some flowers, or champagne or whatever tickles the fancy of your romantic significant other, then you probably have other issues to address. What’s particularly annoying from my personal perspective is the restaurant situation. They cram in extra tables, only offer a fixed menu and charge extra. Add in harried waitstaff and a lot of new customers who expect special treatment on their rare night out, and you’ve got a real zoo. I never go out on Valentines Day if I can avoid it, whatever my relationship status.

Unfortunately this week I’m traveling and solo. I’m therefore going to be forced into my starring role of bitter grumpy man in restaurant. This will be swiftly followed by my encore presentation of drunk grumpy man in restaurant. In the meantime I’ll leave you with the least romantic image I could find on my computer. This is from the always extreme EmmaS.

The most controversial activity?

If I had to choose the most controversial and debate provoking femdom activity, I think it would come down to a run-off between scat play and forced bisexuality. I’ve posted about the former in the past and, after stumbling across the picture below, I thought it might now be time for a post on the latter.

I should be clear that the majority of my comments here relate to forced-bi in the context of pro-dommes, or casual play, rather than lifestyle relationships. I think the lifestyle dynamics are so complex and unique to each circumstance that it’s impossible to make the kind of sweeping generalities that I’m about to.

The first issue that arises for pro-dommes in this context is a legal one. If money is being exchanged for a man to be part of a scene and perform a sexual act then the domme opens herself up to prosecution under pimping and pandering laws. Those are charges that can carry very significant penalties.

Outside of the practical legal issues, I’ve also observed that some dommes have a more philosophical problem with this activity. The idea behind a forced-bi scene is that the submissive shouldn’t really enjoy it at the primary sexual level. He might get off on the idea pleasing his mistress, or with the power exchange involved, or the humiliation, but sexy fun isn’t supposed to be part of the plan. However, I’ve heard numerous dommes report that men use these kind of scenes as an excuse for doing something they secretly really want to do anyway. Five minutes into the scene and the domme is suddenly taking a backseat to the two guys getting it on. This not only undercuts the femdom ethos, it’s also manipulative and hypocritical, forcing a woman into a fake role because a man can’t admit his real desires. In fact it puts the domme firmly into the role of the pimp that the law would allege she is.

On the submissive side of the coin, forced-bi is one of the most polarizing activities in terms of the reaction it provokes. Typically when confronted with the idea of an undesirable activity, the standard male submissive response seems to be “Not really my thing, but whatever….” However, suggest forced-bi as the activity, and you’re likely to get a much more visceral and violent reaction from those not into it. For many men it is a fundamental hard limit that they dislike even talking about, let alone one that they are open to negotiating.

Personally, the idea forced-bi as it’s commonly portrayed (like the image below) doesn’t do a lot for me. This is not because I’m fundamentally opposed to the idea of another man in a scene with me. I think cuckolding scenarios can be hot, as can sissy play and gender switching. Even being topped by a dominant couple might be an interesting thing to try. But forced-bi as a kind of humiliation or punishment activity with another submissive somehow doesn’t really click with me as a femdom dynamic.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this image. I found it on domme pics.

Human Pets (part 4)

So after dogs and ponies in the last couple of posts, we get to cows.

There are many interesting and thought provoking comments that one could choose to make about this male farm animal fantasy. But unfortunately, the one thing that has drawn my attention is the size of that bucket. That’s going to take some filling. Assuming she can get 7L in that bucket (a little under 2 gallons) and the average amount of semen in a single ejaculation is 5ml, then it’ll take 1,400 orgasms to fill it. If we assume the numbering on the stalls is correct and that they’re all full, that’s 70 per ‘cow’. Ouch. Also at 4 minutes a spurt, it’ll take 5,600 minutes or a little under 4 days to get them all. She’d better enlist some help. And I should probably not think about this stuff so much.

The image is of course from the always excellent xrenderer.

Dewey Decimal Domination

I’m constantly amazed by the quantity and quality of the erotic artwork that comes out of Japan. Browsing any of the archive or chan sites will show a multitude of talented artists producing some really imaginative work. And sometimes it’ll be so imaginative, I’m left wondering exactly where the inspiration came from….

This image is taken from a collection of drawings entitled Bizarre Nightmare, by ‘Annmo Night’. It’s a beautifully drawn series, with lots of buxom women doing wonderfully sadistic things to weaker men. Most of the drawings are based on fairly conventional femdom themes, with added daliesque twists to represent the nightmare element. But this one is particularly puzzling. Who fantasizes about being attacked by books in a library? And what exactly is the role of the woman here? Is she controlling the books? Or are the books trained to attack men? Or are they all just swirling in a vortex beneath her? I can’t say that I find it erotic at all, but it’s certainly striking.

(Amusing side note on the title to this post. Having come up with what I thought was a fairly unique phrase, I googled it just to see how rare it really was. Not only has it been used before, it’s actually the title of a blog. The blog of a librarian and dominatrix no less, which sounds like my idea of heaven. Sadly it looks like it’s now dead after a very short life).