Tag: High Heels

Why would you do that?

My previous post, featuring a brief description of a mouth suturing scene I did, generated a very reasonable comment. The gist of it was – and I’m paraphrasing here – why on earth would you do that? Isn’t this stuff supposed to be sexy?

So I should start by saying it wasn’t actually my suggestion. Like I lot of the things I do in scenes, it was the domme’s idea. However, I was certainly eager to  be the guinea pig. She wanted to play around with controlling my mouth and doing a quite invasive scene. The reason it was ultimately enjoyable was for the same reasons a lot of my D/s scenes are. It’s about giving up control, being objectified, accepting pain, handling the intensity, placing trust in the domme and allowing her to take me on a journey. So while I don’t find mouth suturing a turn on per se, it is a turn on in that specific context.

One general observation I’d make is that I think there are some people who enjoy very specific activities and others for who enjoy the dynamic a variety of activities can produce. I used to be the former and over the years have transitioned to the latter. I don’t think it’s a binary categorization – you can certainly be a bit of both – but I think people tend to fall into one camp or the other.  Some submissives are into feet, or leather, or corporal scenes, or bondage, etc. That’s the thing that turns them on and the activity is the goal. Others are into control, or humiliation, or objectification, or pain. The activity is just a means to get there, and so the form it takes has different requirements.

For anyone else out there finding all this talk of weird mouth stuff equally strange, here’s something a little more traditional. Hopefully this shot has a little bit in it for everyone.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. Please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Updated: Thanks to a helpful comment I can attribute this to Nikki Next shooting for the Men Are Slaves site.

Slutting Around

My algorithm for picking people to play with when I’m travelling has a problem. Admittedly, it’s a problem in the sense that spilling champagne on your Ferrari’s leather upholstery is a problem, but I’m going to share it anyway. I will not be expecting a great deal of sympathy.

The original algorithm for travelling was simple: Find someone I had chemistry with and play with them exclusively. Partly that was because I wanted to build a deeper rapport and invest in a richer D/s dynamic. Partly it was because I didn’t want to have to explain my weird kinks and perversions to more unfamiliar women than I absolutely had to.

Unfortunately, no matter how careful the planning, schedules didn’t always co-operate. With only a few days in a town, there was always a chance the domme I usually played with would be travelling or busy. So I inevitably ended up occasionally playing with someone new – and I came to realize that this was a good thing. Playing with someone new was an opportunity to learn. Sometimes I learnt what I didn’t like, but more often my experiences made me a better submissive and a more self-aware masochist. Plus, once I started writing about my kinks here, explaining them to the nice ladies in the exciting outfits became considerably less stressful.

My updated algorithm therefore became: Do two sessions. One with someone I knew and liked and one with someone new. Push limits with the former and learn new things with the latter. It was a win-win.

Unfortunately, once I played with a new domme, they automatically moved into the category of ‘dommes I know’. And since so many of them were amazing and awesome to play with (like Damiana Chi from yesterday’s post), they became ‘dommes I know, like and will travel thousands of miles to play with again’.

This gave my latest iteration of the algorithm: Do three session. One with someone I’ve know for years, one with someone I’ve played with a few times and one with someone new. You don’t have to be a genius to see the pattern here, or the long term problem. It’s possible I can keep adding more sessions per trip until my body or bank account gives out, but I’m not sure it’s entirely the smartest solution.

The amusing side to this ‘problem’ is that I get called a slut by some of the dommes I play with (in the nicest possible way). Given my monastic years through my teens and twenties, that makes me smile. I’m a reserved, quiet, introverted, middle-aged British male slut. I’ll take that.

I’ve no idea what an appropriate image for this post is, so here’s a random one I like.

The Challenge of the New

Writing yesterday’s post on the new experiences I enjoyed with Mistress Cynthia got me thinking about the dynamics of doing new activities. More specifically, doing an old activity for the first time with a new play partner. There are a few different ways to approach this, and one of them niggles me every time it happens. I’m not sure it rises to the level of a pet peeve, but it’s something that I think is worth raising awareness of.

Some dominants don’t care what I’ve done in the past. They just pull out the toys they have in mind to use and get on with doing their thing. Others ask in order to gather information they can use. If it’s a new activity then maybe they’ll build intensity more slowly or check in more often. I’m perfectly happy with either approach. What I find odd is when a domme will be visibly disappointed if they discover the activity they’ve decided on isn’t a new one for me. Sometimes they’ll almost seem to be verging on frustration that they can’t ‘surprise’ me with a particular toy or new experience. I’ve had session where, after this kind of exchanged had repeated 3 or 4 times, I almost wanted to start lying and claiming ignorance, just so we could get out of that repeated negative interaction.

I’ve tried out a lot of different kinky activities over the last few years. That’s not down to any skill or achievement on my part. I’m just lucky to have had the time and opportunity to do a lot of different session with experienced dommes in well equipped spaces. So it’s pretty rare to find a fairly general activity that’s both inside my limits that I haven’t tried at some point. Yet, in all that time, I’ve never once thought to myself “Oh, we’re doing this shit again. Let’s get through this as fast as possible so we can get to something different.” I’ve had sessions ranging from just OK to awesome, and that difference has never been made by the uniqueness or novelty of the activity. The quality of the experience is always about the dynamic between myself and the domme and our interaction in the moment. The way every scene unfolds is unique, even if some of the building blocks repeat. Or to put it in cruder terms, I’ve jerked off a fair amount over the last decade or three, and I’ve never got bored with that activity, so let’s assume that novelty isn’t the deciding factor in how fun something is.

For any dommes out there, I’d suggest always treating past experience with an activity as a positive. It means the submissive will probably be able to give good feedback during it and will have greater capacity for handling it.

Given the post subject matter I thought it’d be worth trying to pick an image of an activity I’ve not really tried. So here we go – cross dressing. There was a domme 6 or 7 years ago who put me in stockings a few times, but apart from that I’ve been lingerie free. I’m not sure of the source of this vintage picture, but that young guy is carrying that outfit off pretty well.

Contrasting expressions

It’s been a crazy news week in the US, and I’m very happy it’s now the weekend. I look forward to relaxing with a glass of wine and not doing or watching much of anything. I hope all my readers out there can have an equally enjoyable weekend.

I was going to put up this image and make a short simple comment about how cute and happy it was. But then I looked a little closer. She certainly has a pleased “Ahhh puppy!” expression going on, but he’s red face, angry and trying to grab what looks like a butter knife. I can’t see that cutting through his bonds. It’s kind of an odd image in that respect. I’d be a very happy bunny in his position, but clearly he’s not a fan of bondage fun.

Based on the image signature, this is by the artist Bondlicitous.

Service with a Smile

I’m continuing the maid theme with a somewhat puzzling image. As far as I can tell this is a product from XDress, but this particular shot comes from the seller The Underwear Expert. They’ve done a good job in dressing everyone quite elegantly in stylish black and white, but what’s with the ‘why so serious’ expression? He does not look like a man having fun. I think if you’re going to try and pull off high heels, a frilly dress and a beard, a sense of humor is definitely required.

First Time Not So Fun

I hadn’t planned on doing multiple posts on first time experiences with a dominatrix. The previous one by Marga Gomez was simply an article that popped up in my inbox and made me smile. Yet weirdly, a day later, this video piece from Duncan Trussell on his first dominatrix experience showed up.  Even more weirdly, both Marga and Duncan are professional comedians, although their specific experiences and the context of them couldn’t be more different.

It’s hard to know what to say about Duncan’s video piece. It’s a lot less about kink, and a lot more about the human condition. His trigger for hiring a domme was the death of his mother and the resulting scene is . . . strange.

This image is kind of random. If anyone has a better suggestion for a suitable image after watching Duncan’s Vice video piece, I’d love to hear it. It’s not the kind of scene that lends itself to fun femdom shots.

You should have seen the other guy

In keeping with the somewhat serious and extreme theme started in yesterday’s post, here’s an image from Empress Jennifer’s twitter feed that’s guaranteed to make every guy wince.

I’ve no idea if it’s a genuine shot from a ball-busting scene or not. It would seem crazy if it was, but I’ve learned that it’s a big wide world, and some people player harder than I can ever imagine. I remember one pro-domme telling me about a ball-busting scene she’d done where the skin on the client’s penis split and peeled back. Given I was naked, bound and very vulnerable at the time, it was a story that really that caught my attention. Her amazing follow-up comment was that the guy hadn’t wanted to stop. Erect and bloody, he wanted to keep the kicks coming. That’s a level of masochism I have trouble relating to. And for everyone out there now wondering what the hell they just read, I can only apologize for implanting that particular mental image.

Skool Daze

Servitor was taking me to task for the spelling in the title of my previous post. In my defense, while memento might be the standard spelling, there is a wiktionary definition page for momento. And, as we all know, any page on a site beginning with ‘wiki’ is always 100% reliable. I actually like the idea of a momento being a memento of a moment but, if I’m honest, it was more a typo than anything else.

He suggests writing lines in a classroom scene would be a suitable punishment. I’ve nothing against a classroom scene, but writing lines sounds awfully boring. I’d rather take 6 of the best. Or maybe 12. Perhaps even 18? I’d be willing to misspell more things in future if necessary. In fact, given my proofreading abilities, that’s one thing I can guarantee.

The simple things in life

Here’s a final image in my short sequence of suspension themed posts. This one makes me smile due to the discrepancy between the setting and the action.

The setting is extreme. There’s a padded cell, a severe looking straitjacket and a taxing inverted suspension. In contrast the action is that most simple but frustrating of things – a sharp flick to the head of the penis. With the setting you’d expect her to be wielding some fiendish medical equipment or a scary electroshock device. Instead she’s keeping it simple, personal and very accurately targeted.

This is of course from the Men In Pain site.