Tag: Humor

So right, and yet so so wrong

I’ve been trying to avoid writing lots of posts on politics and the election. I have featured the occasional one or two, but I figure that people see enough elsewhere without it showing up here.

However, these comments today by Rush Limbaugh are too perfect and too applicable to this blog to ignore. In talking about Trump’s groping scandals and penchant for sexual assault, he said the following.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: You know what the magic word, the only thing that matters in American sexual mores today is? One thing. You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent. If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it’s perfectly fine. Whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells that there’s no consent in part of the equation then here come the rape police. But consent is the magic key to the left.

This is so simultaneously correct and incorrect it seems to defy fundamental laws of physics. It’s a bit like the double slit experiment. Much as a photon can be both a wave and a particle, Rush can simultaneously highlight the importance of consent in sexual interaction while arguing against it. Although given a photon has zero resting mass, that’s an analogy that doesn’t stretch much further.

Presumably in his mind it’s better for a man to rape a woman in a good, healthy, as God intended, missionary position kind of way than for two (or three) dudes (or ladies) to fool around together consensually. I’ve no idea what kind of life experiences it takes to lead you to that kind of opinion, but I would be fascinated to know. It can’t be anything remotely normal or healthy. Somebody should also tell him that the ‘rape police’ are actually just the ‘police’.

I’ll leave you with an image I’m sure Rush would not approve of. Admittedly it does contain the morally approved count of 2 people of differing genders, but that doesn’t look like a conventional sex act. God created woman as a helper, not to ride man around like a beast. No matter how much fun it looks.

rideBased on this Italian Marie Claire article, I believe this image is from the site c.a.p. 74024.

Oh, and that double meaning in the post title? Totally intended.

Management training

This image made me laugh. It’s so bizzare, and yet it kind of works. The blond ladies gesturing and the stare of the group – either down at him or up at her – seems to fit so well. I imagined it at as this weirdest management training course ever. They’re about to break into different groups and use the flip charts to brainstorm the pros and cons of having a toilet slave in an open plan office culture.

Of course it’s a Photoshop fake. You can see the original here, which is from the Red Hook Community Justice center. They help out NYC communities and court system, and definitely do not pee into the mouths of naked slaves. I congratulate them on their community spirit and I congratulate the original photoshopper for creating one of the most unusual yet successful photo modifications that I’ve seen.

ManagementTraining

Material considerations

I was chatting about black leather with a young lady this weekend. She was a fan of it, but I wasn’t entirely convinced. She also wanted to charge me a little more for it, which I suppose is understandable. The issue of spilled fluids might have cropped up, which I was definitely concerned about. Sadly, this was an entirely non-kinky conversation about what to upholster some new dining room chairs in. Kinky shenanigans, even of the professional variety, would probably have been cheaper.  Pro-dommes might charge a few hundred dollars per hour, but that’s nothing compared to what interior designers, architects and contemporary furniture can do to your wallet (cue the worlds smallest violin).

The lady in black leather below is of Candice Swanepoel, photographed by Hans Feurer for Vogue Australia. The sequence it’s taken from is really quite amazing. Astonishing even. They managed to take a stunning supermodel, dress her in very expensive black leather, with clothes created by top designers, and end up with some terrible shots. It takes really talent to do that. The image below is OK, but the rest, particularly examples like this, are awful. I think the shots of her walking her dog dressed in an Iron Maiden t-shirt are more flattering than some of these shots.

IMG_5085

What a dildo

I don’t like to feature politics too heavily here. There’s enough of it in the mainstream press, without it intruding into your sex blogs. However, this article on Ted Cruz was too amusing to resist.

Apparently, in his role as Texas solicitor general he once argued that dildos and vibrators should remain illegal in Texas.

In perhaps the most noticeable line of the brief, Cruz’s office declared, “There is no substantive-due-process right to stimulate one’s genitals for non-medical purposes unrelated to procreation or outside of an interpersonal relationship.” That is, the pursuit of such happiness had no constitutional standing.
David Corn in Mother Jones

I’m not sure about you, but I don’t want to live in a country where I can’t stimulate my genitals for non-medical purposes.

Of course, the same guy who wants to monitor peoples sex toys is also the same person who believes in a small goverment that stays out of people’s lives. It takes a very peculiar kind of mind to hold both these points of view at the same time. And for any Ted Cruz supporters out there who I’ve offended, I can only apologize and ask: What on earth are you doing reading this blog? This is a ticket straight to hell.

There is of course only one way to finish a post like this. Here’s a lady sporting a dildo and stimulating her genitals. I’m not sure about her interpersonal status, but that doesn’t look like a medical or procreation situation to me. She better hope President Cruz never takes office.

Stimulation

Camouflage

I wonder who thought this was a good look to go for? Did they start with the outfit and then go looking for a matching chair, or vice-versa? Or was the outfit and the setting all just a lucky coincidence? Are there people out there with a leopard skin fetish? Or are they aiming for the camouflage fetish market? Does she curl up, concealed on the chair, waiting for her moment to leap out with claws unsheathed? Have many unsuspecting male submissives been surprised and mauled by that most dangerous of predators – the indoor leopard domme?

Miss HybridI’m not sure who this attractive but somewhat oddly attired lady is. I’d guess it’s from a more commercial and conventional porn shot than a femdom one, but that’s only a hunch.

Updated : Thanks to my wise and learned readers (specifically Simon) I can now attribute this to the Miss Hybrid site. I was partially wrong about it being from a conventional porn shot, as Miss Hybrid’s material definitely has a fetish and femdom slant, but there’s more regular sexual activity than the standard femdom clips. Also, for anyone reading this and wondering how I could be such an idiot as to miss the big logo on the image – I changed the image. The original had the logo chopped off, but thanks to the attribution I managed to find the original version with logo intact.

Ta-da!

Another image to add to the WTF category. I love their smiles, the plastic wrap bondage and her happy ‘ta-da’ pose. I’d like to think she just did a backflip and landed perfectly in penetrative position. It looks like the kind of pose a gymnast takes at the end of a routine. Except in this case I guess it’d be 9/10 for the mount rather than the dismount.

However, what’s with the weird room and that thing on the butcher’s hook at the back? I know butcher fetishes exist, but this doesn’t seem like that kind of scene. It’s such a strange contrast between their playful attitude and the environment.

Ta-daThis is Sebastian Keys (who has other excellent images on his twitter feed) shooting with Cherry Torn for Divine Bitches. I found it via the Happy BDSM tumblr.

Not so super

The new Batman versus Superman movie is out and by most accounts, it’s fairly poor. I’m not surprised, given how weak the previous Zack Snyder Superman movie was. I’ll wait for the latest example to make it to cable before taking a look.

In the meantime, as a contrast to the crazy special effects and somber plots of today’s superheros, here’s a glimpse of a more lighthearted Superman from the Silver Age of comics (mid 50’s to 1970). The plot apparently involves alien possession which is cured (somehow) by a dummy and a beating. At least that’s the excuse the authors came up with for featuring Superman in bondage and a dominant Lois brandishing a flogger.

Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #73

Too many questions

A small fraction of femdom images on tumblr are really great. Most are ‘meh’. A few are WTF! This would be one in the latter category.

Firstly, what’s with the pink theme? She has pink shoes, a pink dress and a pink whip. Even the band-aid on her knee looks pink. Color coordination is one thing, but color coordinating your medicine cabinet is a bit much. Also what’s with the weird beanbag type chair in the corner? And why is there a big pink dildo next to the television? Who thought that fireplace was a good idea? What kind of drugs was the interior designer on? And how did that money end up on the floor?

The lady in question is clearly a very attractive one. Judging by the whip marks she can also hand out a good beating. I’m just puzzled at everything else that’s going on in this Men Are Slaves shot.

StrangeImage