Humor – Page 16 – Femdom Resource

Defined Lines

I featured a video parodying Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines last summer. It turned out to be a song and video ripe for parody, with even Weird Al getting in on the act. I recently stumbled on another particularly excellent example, that I’m sure my readers will enjoy. It’s called Defined Lines and is by the Law Revue group. To give you an idea of the theme let me quote some lyrics – “Let me emasculate you, because your precious dick can’t beat my vibrator.” Amazingly it even got briefly pulled from youtube for inappropriate content, which boggles the mind given some of the things to be found there.

Admittedly I’m about 12 months late bringing you this link, but hopefully it’ll be new to some of my readers. There are leashes, clingfilm bondage, scantily clad guys, forceful women and pointed lyrics. In other words, it’s all sorts of good things.

Paging Sigmund

I’m not really sure what erotic niche this image should be placed into. I just know I like it. I guess it’s kind of CFNM, although there’s not a whole lot of C involved. Naked males are common enough in my posted images. Naked males wearing flip flops and a cock leash in the desert are more unusual, but not totally strange. But pun based domme outfits? I think that might be a first.

This looks like a burning man scene, but I’m afraid I’ve no firm information on where this was taken and who is in the picture.

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Fans of comics, sex and humor should enjoy the Oh Joy Sex Toy site. As its new reader page states, it’s a weekly comic that reviews all sorts of things related to sex, sexuality and the sex industry. Example comics include guides to cunnilingus and bondage, interviews with amazing porn stars like Stoya and Jizz Lee, a guide to strap-on harnesses and the artist’s experiences with pegging. It’s sadly low on kinky toys, with little for the S&M crowd, but it’s an informative and entertaining read all the same.

The image below is the first part of the aforementioned comic on pegging, featuring Erika (the artist) and her husband Matthew. The original is far longer and more descriptive. So consider this a small taster and click through to read the rest.

The odd little moments

I’ve had many powerful and moving experiences in kinky play over the years. Some of them have been almost transcendent in their intensity. Yet it’s typically the odd and funny little moments that stick in my mind afterwards. The giggly aftermath of play or a funny one liner during the set-up.

Last week is a good case in point. I had a fabulous session with Lydia, involving much happy moaning and floaty feelings. At one point she was doing a series of piercings in my butt cheeks, which proved to be surprisingly painful. I wasn’t shy to communicate this fact via some loud groaning, to which Lydia commented it was strange the piercing hurt so much as “…over the years I’ve done terrible things to your bottom.” Despite the intensity of the moment, I couldn’t help laughing out loud to that line. And ever since then I’ve smiled to myself whenever I happen to think of it.

Sadly we didn’t snap any shots of the piercings in question. So I’ll finish the post with a shot of another lady doing terrible things to someone’s bottom. That’s a pretty good impact indentation.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. I found it on the bossymsbecky tumblr.

Mixing work and pleasure

I’ve featured unusual scientific research on pain in past posts. A recent article from io9 continues this theme with details of 1933 experiment that lovers of CBT may find familiar. I’m proud to say it featured a couple of British scientists, whose names have sadly not entered history alongside other greats like Newton, Faraday and Darwin.

They were researching referred pain, a strange phenomena where damage to one part of the body manifests as pain in an entirely different part. They needed an easy way of causing pain and, being men, immediately turned to the idea of squeezing testicles. Also being good scientists, rather than the evil crazy kind, they experimented on themselves, using weights to apply controlled pressure. Presumably the Nut Crusher had yet to be invented. Their conclusion was that testicular pain also manifested in the torso, on the same side as the squeezed testicle. Perhaps my male readers can confirm or deny the truth of this finding? Or maybe try a repeat run? It’s not kinky, it’s just good old fashioned research.

Apparently the originally published paper doesn’t list who inflicted the pain on who. Personally I wonder if they persuaded an attractive medical student to do the job. You know, for science.

This couple appear to be conducting an experiment of their own. I’m not sure if it’s under controlled conditions, but she’s certainly generating a statistically significant amount of pain. I found the image on the Innocence is Bliss tumblr. I believe it’s originally from the Female Dom site.

Submission by Oglaf

I’ll just throw this comic out there. As a submissive I’ve absolutely no idea what Oglaf is getting at. It seems like a pretty reasonable attitude to me. Perhaps there’s a small chance it’ll resonate with one or two people in the dominant crowd.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

I almost kicked a dominatrix in the ankle tonight. I managed to resist the urge, but I think I would have been justified. After all, she started it.

I was playing with Lydia, and having a lot of fun while she channeled her 8 year old self. There was lots of pushing and prodding and teasing and laughing going on. She has no problem reaching her inner-child, and that’s one mean little girl. Gleeful laughter while something gets pinched is pretty common. In this case she was pulling me around via some tightly attached nipple clamps and making me second guess when she was going to move. It was so fun and so childlike I almost reverted to my inner 8 year old and gave her a kick on the ankle in revenge. Fortunately my outer middle-aged person was smart enough to realize that kicking someone who has your nipples at their mercy is a bad move. Particularly when she’s wearing boots and you’re bare foot.

This image doesn’t bear much relationship to our activities tonight. No strap-on’s were involved. However, that stuck out tongue does put me in mind of children in the playground and playful teasing. Although I’m not sure how playful he’s feeling at this moment.

This is from the Strapon Tales site. I found it on the Seductive Domme tumblr.

The secret to a long life

When I first saw the title of this article – ‘Masturbation: the secret to a long life?‘ – I was worried. Not for my own lifespan I hasten to add, but for all the chastity bloggers out there. I like reading people like Thumper and Tom, and I’d hate to miss out on their posts. Dying early would probably put a bit of a crimp in their plans for the weekend as well.

Fortunately for my blogroll, the title turns out to be based on a data point of just one person – Betty Dodson. She’s 85 years old, looks about 30 years younger, and attributes her long life to masturbation, raw garlic and pot. Having written the famous book Sex for One back in 1973, she’s clearly an expert on at least one of these. While the article title may be optimistic, it’s a good article about a great character. She drinks, swears, organizes orgies and has spent 40 years advocating the benefits of self-pleasure. What’s not to love?

As for the image below, I can’t tell if she’s helping extend his life or shortening it. If she ruins an orgasm does that add a day or knock one off? Either way she looks to be enjoying the decision.

This is from the Femdom Empire site.

A stroll in the city (update)

A couple of days ago I blogged about a woman spotted in London taking a man for a walk at the end of a leash. There was a lot of social media speculation about who they were and what they were doing. Well apparently the ‘mystery’ has been solved. According to this article in the Independent it was an acting/art project designed to provoke and film the reaction of passersby. The guy was the ‘director’ who’d recruited the woman via an acting website.

Hmmm. It reminds me of an artistic project I’ve been trying to put together. It’s a very provocative, but very creative piece. Absolute nothing, and I want to make this very clear, absolutely nothing pervy about it. I’m looking for 2 or 3 talented actresses willing to challenge their ideas of what theater can be. Nobody with latex or leather allergies please. Past experience with knots would be a bonus, as would trapeze skills and small hands. I’ll provide the male talent, the location and a very detailed script. Obviously as a starving artist I can’t offer any monetary compensation, but I can promise an unforgettable experience.

While I wait for the applicants to come flooding in, this story does give me a chance to post another PDS scene. From the sign this looks like it was shot in Portland, but I’ve zero background on it. I wonder what artistic statement they’re making?

That time of year

I just filed my US tax returns. For some reason I feel like posting this pair of images from the strapon dreamer site …

I guess I should note that I do actually like the stuff my taxes pay for. I’m keen on things like roads, the FAA, food safety and a government that at least tries to offer health care. Having to pay a lot in taxes is one of those problems like discovering your Porsche has a puncture or that your bottle of Mouton Rothschild is corked. It’s not likely to garner a lot of sympathy. However, just as it’s an individuals duty to contribute to the nation, I also think that complaining about it is very much part of the process. Much the same way British people complain about the weather: It doesn’t help, but it does make people feel better.