Happy childhood memories

I love the strange covers of the trashy erotic novels and fiction magazines that appeared from the 1950’s through to the 1970’s. They’re often very lurid and melodramatic, with weird sexual ideas. This one is a particularly good example of their what-the-fuck strangeness, with its newly minted lesbian castratrix. I found this on the femdom artists site, and Her Majestys Plaything also featured some similar covers in a recent post.

The reason for the post title is not because I was almost emasculated by a strangely large lesbian archer as a child. Although that might explain a few things if it were true. In fact, oddly enough, the title is due to my Uncle. He was an ordained Methodist minister by profession, politically active in the local community and highly literate. As you’d expect with that kind of resume, his study was crammed with dense complex books relating to religion, philosophy, sociology and politics. But one enormous bookcase, almost covering an entire wall, was packed with erotic novels. He had all the classics (Delta of Venus, The story of O, Fanny Hill, etc.) but the majority were kinky and explicit works of a more recent vintage. They featured everything from vicious female Nazi doctors through naughty British schoolgirls to seductive French countesses. Sometimes all in the same book.

As you might expect for a horny teenager with kinky tendencies, that bookcase was my holy grail. I planned my visits to his house like an Oceans 11 style heist caper. How could I sneak into the study, dodge the various family members, acquire a book and escape for some private time, before replacing it undetected? Unfortunately I was less George Clooney and more Groucho Marx when it came to the smooth execution of complex plans, and usually ended up being forced to ‘borrow’ one of his conventional books as cover. It’s hard pretty hard to jerk off to the life and works of Catholic philosopher Thomas Aquinas unless you’re a real sicko. Finally, one happy summer, we traded houses with his family for a few days, and I spent every night sneaking his sleaziest nastiest books back to my room. I think I probably slept five or six hours in total over 4 very onanistic nights.

Naked Archer

The meaning of life

This image made me smile. I don’t find it particularly erotic. It’s a little too surreal and impersonal for that. But it did put me in mind of a Monty Python sketch in the movie the Meaning of Life. It features a man who gets to choose the method of his execution and well, you can see what he picks in this clip. It’s not the funniest sketch in the movie (that would be this musical number), but if you were going to re-shoot it for the male submissive this looks like it’d be a great cast to use.

Squadron of asian girls in leatherI found this on the Bits and Pieces tumblr site.

Pucker up froggy…

I would normally drawn the line at bestiality on this blog, but here’s a little princess on frog action that made me smile. No captions or subtitles needed, those two expressions tell it all. That’s one enchanted prince who’ll be sticking to catching flies. And it’s nice to see a variation on the common princess archetypes. She doesn’t look like she’ll be singing to birds or cracking jokes whilst kicking ass.

The Frog and the PrincessThe artist is Serge Birault. You can see a lot more of his work on his blog. I found it via this Mistress Fantasy post.

Comedy Moments in Watersports

A little change of pace for this post. This features an amusing short film (~7 minutes) that I came across on Lady Aconite’s blog. As the post title suggests it is watersports related, but this is M/f rather than F/m, and doesn’t feature any explicit visuals. It does however feature some strong language and verbal humiliation, so don’t watch if that’s liable to upset you.

I thought it was pretty funny, although I did want to give the male character a good shake for being so hopeless. However, I doubt my own skills as a dominant would be much to write home about.

I dislike embedded videos on my front page, so I’ve put it on a separate page. Click through to watch ‘Piss’ by Bette Bentley.

Stupidest thing you’ll read today

I realize that as far as title’s go, that’s not one guaranteed to lure the reader in. I’m also aware that some people may be thinking “So how is that different to the rest of your posts?” However, I’m fairly confident that most people will agree that the linked article is even more ridiculous than my usual random rubbish.

The article in question is about pornography rather than femdom, but it was amusing/infuriating enough that I though it worth sharing. The title is “Pornography and National Security”, which would also make a pretty good onion article title. The author Jennifer S. Bryson (of the Witherspoon Institute) uses it to argue that widespread pornography may be contributing to the problem of terrorism. As far as I can tell she bases that on the fact that terrorists have been found with pornography and have been known to visit strip clubs.

It’s written in classic Fox news style, light on facts, but heavy on leading questions like “Is it possible that…?”, “Could it be….?” and “Are we as a society…..?”

Personally I wonder, could the author possibly have her head further up her ass? Is it really true that she doesn’t understand the difference between correlation and causation? Does she perhaps not see the contradiction between claiming that pornography is ubiquitous and simultaneously claiming that finding it on terrorists is meaningful of something? Would she be better off spending her time on her line of biblical coloring books rather than writing fact free articles trying to link 9/11 to pornography?

My favorite quote from the article is:

Would those terabytes of pornography and such more aptly be dubbed “terrorbytes”?

Errr, how about no? Although it does sound like a great idea for a Stephen Colbert monologue.

It’ll be alright on the night

I’m a bit late to this, by several years in fact, but I just discovered the blooper reels that kink.com occasionally publishes. There’s one from 2008 available here, a 2009 one here, a 2010 one here and one from July 20011 available here. Despite kink’s claims to the contrary, they are not ‘laugh your ass off’ funny and sometimes its hard to figure out what the issue actually is. However, it’s always interesting to see the curtain pulled back and catch performers reacting naturally to unexpected snafus.

I think my favorite moment would have to be in the 2009 clip, at around the 5:30 minute mark, when Dia Zerva and Amber Keen just can’t stop laughing. It’d be a good sequence to show the next anti-porn campaigner who claims it’s all made my abused victims of the human trafficking trade.

Kinky Installation Art

This made me laugh. It’s a short film that manages to depict trampling, bondage and spanking (among other kinky things), whilst also showing no naked people whatsoever. The umbrella towards the end looks particularly painful to be on the receiving end of. Note that there’s music that accompanies it (a rather well chosen European electro-pop number), so be prepared for that if you are viewing in a quiet environment.

Elektrotechnique from Lernert & Sander on Vimeo Link courtesy Bondage Blog

The A to Z of sissification

Humor and sex are common bedfellows. The pairing crops up in everything from saucy seaside postcards to bedroom farce, and from coming of age comedies to clever social commentaries. Humor and kink is a rarer combination. It’s certainly not unheard of, but the darker nature of BDSM doesn’t seem to sit quite so easily with comedy.

I’m therefore always happy when I come across something in the kinky realm that makes my smile. The artwork below is from an artist known as DovSherman on the deviant art site. It manages to be funny, cute and strangely kind of hot (at least in my twisted mind).

The Sissy Alphabet by DovShermanHe has a much larger version available at his site, along with a number of similar sissification drawings. Well worth browsing through if you like the above piece.