Kinky Dating

The New York Times recently published an article on the Feeld dating app and its CEO Ms. Kirova. I’d not heard of it before, but apparently its becoming popular in kinky circles.

Feeld, which started as a dating app for couples and singles called 3nder in 2014, has, under Ms. Kirova’s leadership, positioned itself as a go-to for nonmonogamous, sex-positive and kinky people of all sexual orientations.

It’s also acquired a reputation as a space that fosters directness, something of a rarity in the dating-app world.

Its userbase is relatively small compared to the giants like Tinder and Grindr but, based on the article at least, it seems to be doing a passable job of encouraging clear communication while not turning into a cesspool of toxic content and sex crazed jerks. Although, sadly, there’s always going to be a non-trivial contingent of those in any online space (as the article highlights).  Be interested to hear if any of my readers have tried it.

Of course the time honored ways to meet a partner will never go entirely out of fashion. The beautiful image below is a wedding photograph for @nivalislava. According to the twitter thread I sourced it from they originally met at college. It’s fetish rather than femdom, but I love it just the same.

Pony Fun

Fans of Pony Play might want to check out the stories of I. Binder, some of which are available on Gagged Utopia. The site seems broken in a bunch of places, but you can see a number of them listed under the PonyPlay tag here. For example, this, this, this and this. Looks like there’s also some on Amazon if you wish to purchase them.

I’m not sure it’d be a kink I’d want to indulge during an actual session. Too old and too many wonky back muscles for pulling people around. However, the fantasy is nice and the I. Binder stories are very well written. They got me interested in a kink that had never really clicked with me before.

I sourced this image from Madam is All tumblr. Reverse image searching didn’t give me any leads, but I believe that’s Mistress Trinity, an NYC based pro-domme.  I previously featured an image that looks to be from the same shoot here.

Be Your Own Pet

Find of the week has been Nashville garage punk band Be Your Own Pet. Their new album is ‘Mommy‘ and a glance at the associated cover image (below) will make it clear why they first caught my eye. Their promo video for it is a lot of fun – full of fetish, kitsch and old school horror movie shots. Fortunately there’s some great music to go with all the cheese – their new track Worship The Whip being a particularly catchy (and kinky) example. Well worth checking out if you’re also a fan of the punk genre.

Out and About in Paris

To continue my celebration of Summer, here’s one final post on the theme of ladies enjoying their lunch al fresco. This is, of course, the unforgettable Mistress Iris, dining in Paris with her gimpy. Her beauty and grace will turn heads at the best of times, but I suspect this dining excursion probably turned ever more than usual.

This image was sourced here from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here, her Patreon here and her OnlyFans here.

Meta Muppets

I’m always amazed when I spot a sex worker or erotic content creator with an Instagram account. It has to be the least sex friendly social media site around. My feeds are frequently full of sex workers complaining about their accounts being killed with little to no warning. Recently they even had a burst of banning general sex positive accounts, that weren’t explicit or sex work related. Some of these got reversed, but I wouldn’t bet against future waves of similar bans. If you are using Instagram for anything adult related, it’s best to treat it as a throwaway that might be lost at anytime.

Mistress Estelle Leon is another recent casualty of the capricious Instagram algorithm. How stupid does a platform have to be to deliberately ban beautiful images like this one?

Mistress Estelle is a Melbourne based pro-domme. She may have lost her Instagram account, but you can still follow here on Twitter and visit her professional site here.

Making Music

Here’s an unusual type of forniphilia I’ve never seen before – a submissive as a music stand. While most forniphilia looks less practical than the inanimate equivalent, this one actually seems like it might work better. They can both hold and turn the pages as needed.

The photograph comes courtesy of NYCs Lady Harper Chase. I’m sure she’s a very accomplished musician,  but it does strike me that for a devious and less musically talented dominant there’s a great opportunity for unexpected torture here. Get your human music stand all rigged up in place, then pull out an instrument you’ve never played before and try to learn it using the most basic beginner tunes. I’d imagine an hour of ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ on a badly played violin would be enough to get most submissives reaching for their safeword.

Original source for the image is via this tweet, photographed by photopupnyc. Lady Harper Chase is a NYC based pro-domme and you can find her professional site here.

Kinky Models

The hot story in tech over the last few months has been ChatGPT. The latest in large language AI models, trained across vast swathes of internet data, it has been freaking people out with it’s ability to do a pretty good impression of a person.

Inevitably there have been endless attempts to make it do naughty things because, you know, humans. The makers are constantly tweaking its guard rails but with millions of ingenious monkeys tapping away at it, not to mention all kinds of adult material in its training data, there are always going to be scenarios they’ve not covered.

The latest example comes from Vice magazine, where a journalist managed to get it to indulge in some Femdom roleplay. As you might expect if you’ve seen any of the other ChatGPT examples, it manages to be impressive, weird and unsettling all at once. It started pretty well, with mention of consent and safewords, but ultimately veered off into some far more disturbing areas. Which, in fairness, is pretty representative of kinky writing on the internet.

The writers final conclusion seems an odd one to me…

The practice of BDSM is firmly rooted in principles of consent. Will large language models ever be nuanced enough to differentiate between non-consensual acts and taboo—but consensual—situations in BDSM role-play? These models’ overall lack of rigid ethical principles highlights a major risk inherent to their design.

Rigid ethical principles are undoubtedly necessary once you start letting AI affect the physical world. Nobody wants a Femdom android that doesn’t understand consent. But for creative writing purposes? Pretty certain there’s a huge amount of online kinky fiction that violates all sorts of BDSM principles and we didn’t need ChatGPT to come up with it.

This image is by Rabbika. You can find there twitter account here.

Fashion or Fetish?

Somebody should really do a site where you have to guess if a shot is from a pro-domme gallery page or an arty fashion magazine. For example, take this image. Is it from a tweet by a rising star in the LA pro-domme scene? Or NYC’s latest supermodel shooting a cover story? Is she involved in a sordid world of drugs, money and older men taking advantage of younger women? Or is she beating men up for a living?

Answer: In this case it’s fashion, not fetish. Specifically, it’s Lindsey Wilson shooting for ODDA Magazine. I believe the latex was supplied by Vex Clothing.

Looking Back

After a decade of blogging I thought it might be interesting to look back and see what has changed.

The obvious answer is that there are a lot less bloggers. I love and appreciate the people on my blogroll, but social media has sucked in a lot of people’s attention and creative output. That in turn has created some interesting knock on effects. When I started blogging I posted and linked to a lot of debates around femdom. They were centered on topics like the invisibility of the domme  in society, the negative perception of submissives, the distorting effect of professional dominance, cliches in femdom porn, etc. Sadly, I’m not sure we’ve improved from a cultural perspective in those areas, but there is less writing about those issues. I think the angst about it has moved to social media and that’s a far more ephemeral medium. It’s hard to capture a serious debate in 240 characters or less, particularly when they’re randomly mashed into a stream of thoughts from dozens of other people.

Another change has been a reduction in curated image and artwork sites. Artists and their fans used to create dedicated sites to collect artwork. Kinky porn companies used to shoot a lot of still imagery and publish galleries from scenes. Now most artists and fans publish via social media and kinky porn tends to focus on video only clips. For someone like myself, with a minor fetish for archiving and collating material, it’s somewhat frustrating. I’ve been less compelled to update my resource links, because there is less ‘permanent’ content to link to.

When I started blogging it felt like the dominant model of the internet was a library that anyone could donate a book to. Now it feels more like a big party house with endlessly swirling conversations, a lot of which feature bad faith actors and paid for guests. Much as I enjoy things like Twitter and Reddit, it doesn’t feel like a healthy change. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and yell at some kids to get off my lawn.

Birthday celebrations should usually be accompanied by cake, so here’s Lucy SweetKill serving one up. I’m not sure this approach is one Emily Post would recommend, but it works for me. Fittingly enough, given the contents of this post, I found this on twitter, via Lucy’s feed. It was photographed by JCPhotoMedia.

Gloves for the Last Time

I swear this is my last glove themed post. At least for the moment. I thought I was actually done yesterday, but then an odd thought struck me.

Gloves are not a prominent fetish. The greatest hits of femdom clothing fetishes are things like boots, heels, stockings and corsets. Gloves don’t even have their own special fetish name. There is a Wikipedia article on it, but while super obscure fetishes like crying (dacryphilia) and amputation (acrotomophilia) have specific names, gloves are just gloves. It’s rare you see a kinkster posting about a love of gloves, where shoes and stockings show up all the time.

Yet when I hunted through my archives for interesting photographs to use, I had a multitude of options. That is not normal. I like post photographs to relate to my text and finding something appropriate often takes a lot of hunting around.  I frequently spend longer trying to find a suitable image than I do writing the post. With gloves I could written a dozen posts and not run out of material. They seem to be one of those things that are really popular, without anyone actually being aware just how popular they are.

My final long glove post image  is from douzocosplay. It’s a cosplay of Ally from Sunstone. You can find more from the artist at her Deviant Art site.