Tag: m

Another trip to the library

I hadn’t intended a second post on books, but then this Daily Beast article popped up on my radar and I couldn’t resist featuring it. The book being plugged in it is ‘The Ultimate Guide to Bondage‘ by Mistress Couple. I’m sure the book is great, but what really caught my eye in the article was the broader value of kink and bondage that Mistress Couple describes, outside of simple sexual pleasure.

She talks about how consensual bondage helped her work through some traumatic experiences of her own, overwriting the negative with the positive. She also emphasizes how being vulnerable in safe situations can make you stronger. The article finishes with a lovely story of a nervous couple trying out bondage together at La Domaine Esemar. It’s not exactly a happy femdom story, given the woman ends up being tied, but it certainly comes across as a happy kinky story.

Mistress Couples Ultimate Guide To Bondage comes out on Dec 11th, just in time for Christmas shopping. Caveat Emptor – I’ve not read it and know nothing beyond what the article and Amazon page tells me. However, given the background and skills of its author, I’d expect it to be well worth acquiring. Plus, it’s nice to have a bondage book where the cover image is a bound naked dude, rather than the usual lithe lady.

Triple Bondage Trouble With Mistress Tess

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was lucky enough to get not one but two sessions on my current trip with the amazing Mistress Tess. We split them as 2 hours and then 4 hours, with my original thinking being that we’d start with a gentle warm-up and then get into the heavier stuff in the longer second session. In the event we started with intense and awesome, followed by even more intense and even more awesome, which turned out to be just fine with me! There was a lot of bondage in both, but we only snapped photographs in the second one.

That second session started with a leather body bag, and straps, and rope, and more straps, and some locks, and then more straps. This abundance of leather and bondage was complemented by some electrics attached to the only skin showing – the cock and balls. You can see all this in these images – torso, angle, side and close-up. I should add that throughout this Mistress Tess was spinning an imaginative medical experimentation fantasy, with me as the object at the focus of it. Apparently amputation and castration might have been in my future – but luckily, this time at least, I escaped with all parts intact.

We then moved on to some metal bondage on her pegboard bed, as shown in this overhead shot. I’m sporting some particularly sexy boots, and the metal spheres just in frame at the bottom are actually enclosing my hands. The metal creates an interesting head space, as there’s a little more initial wiggle than ropes or leather, but at the end of the wiggle it’s hard and immovable metal. Everything’s bolted down, so you feel very much part of the apparatus, rather than simply held by it. While I was bolted into place, Mistress Tess took the chance to do some piercing and continue to zap my delicate bits.

Finally, we did something entirely new to me  – a wet pack. This consisted of multiple cold wet sheets being wrapped around me to swaddle the body.  As a newbie to the process I got the lightweight version, which didn’t feature sheets that had been kept wet in the fridge for hours, but it was a still a major shock to the system. Apparently a wet pack is a genuine medical ‘treatment’ that used to be used in asylums to restrain/cure/punish patients.  Tess being the bondage aficionado that she is, didn’t just stop at sheets, as leather straps and then plastic wrap were added to finish the encasement off. You can see the final result in this image and this image. Luckily, body heat eventually warms the sheets, so it becomes almost relaxing. I say ‘almost relaxing’ because of course, with Doctor Tess in the clinic, the restraints are only the start of the procedure…

It was a genuinely awesome experience, and I was giddy and burbly for many hours afterwards. The technical elements of the play were exceptional and, as I mentioned the last time I played with her, Mistress Tess  is also brilliant at spinning a verbal fantasy. There was a lot of tease, denial and creative sadistic storytelling to go along with it all.  It’s unfortunate that I live a 6 hour flight away, otherwise I could see myself spending a lot of time as a specimen in her laboratory of kink.

This shot is a close-up from the first scenario. You can see the white rope pulling the body bag tight, with the padlocks locking the straps into place.

If you’re in the NYC area and interested in seeing Mistress Tess, then her professional site is here and her twitter here. If you can’t make it to NYC then her OnlyFans account has a lot of great content and is here.

Snappy Dresser

It’s probably fairly obvious that I enjoy kink and fetish. It’s probably less obvious that I’m also a fan of clothes and style. I hesitate to say fashion – as that can suggest chasing ephemeral fads and trends – but I do appreciate people who put some effort into their look. A man’s appearance can be immeasurably improved by a well chosen suit or a stylish jacket.

This image therefore falls perfectly at an intersection of two of my interests.  It’s not exactly something to wear for an average evening out, but it’s undoubtedly stylish and perfect for the well dressed latex fetishist. I particularly love the buttons on the cuffs. The whole thing is beautifully executed.

You can see some more shots of their ensemble in this tweet from Dominatrix Chiaki. The owner and model for the suit is @osm2741 and the clearly talented creator of it is @KurageKidO.

For the Love of Dog

Over the last decade or so I’ve been lucky enough to meet and interact with a lot of fabulous pro-dommes. They’ve all had their own unique style and approach, but there is one unusual commonality that I’ve observed. It’s not that they were intelligent, empathetic, well-organized and excellent communicators. I mean all those things were true, but being a successful professional dominant  tends to naturally select for them. Pointing those out is like pointing out that most basketball players are tall and most politicians can lie convincingly. It comes with the territory.

The unusual commonality I’ve observed is a love of animals. That’s obviously not a characteristic unique to pro-dommes, but it seems to be significantly skewed compared to the general population and to manifest itself in many different ways. Pro-dommes are frequently enthusiastic and proud pet owners, adopters of abandoned animals, volunteers at pet rescue centers, vegetarians or vegans and supporters of animal related charities. I’m obviously generalizing a lot here about a big group of people, and it won’t be true for everyone, but it is true for most of the dommes I’ve played with and true for a lot of the pro-dommes I see posting on social media.

I actually made this observation to a pro-domme last year. Although in fact, I only got as far as saying that there was one common theme I’d noticed before she beat me to the punch. I hadn’t even managed to finish my sentence before she came out with exactly the same observation.

An optimist might suggest that this trait derives from dommes possessing a nurturing and empathetic personality type that fits well with caring for animals. A cynic might suggest its because the average pet is a lot more obedient, dependable and trainable that 95% of male submissives.

This shot is from Mistress An Li and features, in her words, her two bitches playing. The one on top is her puppy and the one apparently losing the fight is her submissive in a pet crawler outfit.

Mistress An Li is an LA based pro-domme, and her professional site is located here.

Growling at the Badger

Courtesy of the Whores of Yore, comes a brief but fascinating history of cunnilingus. As you might guess, given thousands of years of patriarchal societies, it has not generally been a positive history. For the ancient Greeks it was

…generally regarded as something repugnant, used only by lesbians, and weak men whose erection had failed them. The fear that the penis is being replaced, or is not ‘enough’, is palpable.

That observed fear is an interesting one, given the prevalence of cunnilingus in submissive male fantasies. There’s obviously an element of service  and worship associated with it, but I wonder if for some men there’s also a coupling to kinks around inadequacy and humiliation?

My favorite part of the article is learning that in Sanskrit the word for the clitoris translates literally as ‘umbrella of the god of love’. That’s a lovely phrase I won’t forget in a hurry.

This gentleman may end up with a little more grit on his tongue than is usual after oral sex. Sadly I’ve no idea who created this wall art or where it was painted.

Say it with Flowers

I’ve been decorated before in sessions, but never anything quite like this beautiful shot. It’s by Asha Luna, a Melbourne based domme, using flowers her submissive brought to the session.

Being used as a canvas is not something I ever particularly fantasize about, but it’s always very hot when it happens. The submissive is simultaneously the focus while also being objectified. An essential part of the art but also just a mechanism for the domme to express herself. For that reason I never really request it as a style of play, as it seems too personal to do so. It has to be something triggered by the domme and her creative spark.

Mistress Asha Luna’s professional site is here and her twitter feed here.

Euphoria – Beauty In Pain

I’ve some follow-up thoughts from yesterdays post on Protonmail vs Gmail to share. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to get them down right now. So consider this an interlude, a little visual intermezzi, before returning to the more boring technical stuff.

The images below are from this Vice article on the photographer Carolin Auer  who is working to capture some of the authentic pain and emotions that go into BDSM play. The ultimate goal is a book entitled Euphoria – Beauty In Pain, which is currently still in the production stages. It looks like it’d be an interesting title for fans of the marks, cuts and bruises that kinky play often leaves behind.

Keep in on the hush-hush

This autostraddle article has some good tips on how to subtly soundproof a room for kinky sex. Handy if you have children, roommates or thin walls between you and the neighbors. It’s particularly important for that last one, as explaining strange noises to a house guest can be embarrassing, but explaining that they’re not a sign of domestic abuse to the police is infinitely worse.

Even in professional spaces noise can be a problem. As I covered previously, I was banned from a San Francisco playspace during office hours for fear my vocalizations would disturb the surrounding tech start ups. I was also recently amused when arranging a first session with a new domme to be told, totally out of the blue, that my screams wouldn’t be a problem in her space.  Apparently my references had been particularly descriptive in their feedback!

The two standard approaches to excess noise are either soundproofing the room or gagging the submissive. Lady Chiaki appears to have come up with an interesting alternative here – provide the submissive with his own little soundproofed private room just for his head. There’s even a handy front door on it.

This is from this tweet in Lady Chiaki’s twitter feed. I believe the creator of the box is OSM Works.

Absence of Activity

Sorry for the posting gap. I picked up some bug over the weekend and have spent the last few days curled up under a blanket. I haven’t felt like I could do much of anything, other than watch bad television and sleep. Hopefully, normally service should be resumed from this point on.

Talking of guys unable to do much of anything, here’s one in a similar bind. Although I guess if looking stylish counts, he’s definitely managing to pull that off.

This is from the instagram of kinkbaku (also on twitter). It’s not exactly femdom, but if you like images of bound men, then it’s worth checking out.

Funny Mummy

After some seriously depressing politics, I felt a touch of humor might be required. And I can’t think of anyone who can combine humor, playfulness and some seriously intense bondage quite like Lady Hinako. The mummification image below is from her twitter feed. It makes me smile each time I look at it. The second image, of Mistress Hinako herself, is from a different scene and taken from her blog post entitled Hinako Hospital. Even in medical play, she manages to inject (ahem) some fun decoration of her submissive.