Tag: Mainstream

Dominatrix

I don’t use the word dominatrix on this blog very often. In fact, WordPress tells me that this is the first post I’ve ever written with that particular title. Given that this is post number 2,334 on a blog exclusively about female domination, I find that kind of amazing.

While I generally prefer the word ‘domme’, which carries less cultural baggage, it’s undoubtedly true that ‘dominatrix’ is the word the mainstream world most strongly associates with femdom.  But do you know where the modern usage derives from?

The word itself can be traced back to the 16th century. However, the original usage wasn’t sexual or related to kink at all. It simply referred to domination in the broadest possible sense. For example, a book from 1852 referred to France’s Napoleon as having been the dominatrix of Europe. Voltaire described destiny as the dominatrix of the gods, as the gods are of the world. Cassell’s Latin dictionary from 1892 defines a dominatrix as a woman who governs or rules (e.g. a town). 

The first usage in the modern sense is a very surprising and obscure one. According to ‘The History & Arts of the Dominatrix‘ it was in a pulp paperback by Bruce Rogers called ‘The Bizarre Lovermakers’ published in 1967.  Until I came to research this post I’d never heard of either that book or its author. A year later it was used as the title of a Myron Kosloff and Eric Stanton book, and then more broadly popularized in  the 1976 porn film ‘Dominatrix Without Mercy‘. If you look at the usage of the word on Google books, it was very obscure until the late 1970’s, and then suddenly bursts into popularity through the 80’s and 90’s.

I think I’d always subconsciously assumed that dominatrix had a similar etymology as sadism and masochism. i.e. Coined by a well known author in a classic book from the 18th or 19th century.  In actuality it was given its modern twist by an obscure pulp novelist from the 1960’s.

This planet is having a pretty bloody time of it

The news these days is generally not good. One might even go as far as saying it’s seriously fucked up. Even this blog, designed as a kinky oasis, has featured a fair number of depressing posts about laws and politics. I’m therefore very happy to report a minor but cheering feelgood story. New Zealand’s Catherine Healy, who helped decriminalize prostitution, has been recognized  in the Queen’s honors list.  Specifically, she has been made a a Dame Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit for services to the rights of sex workers.

When I first spotted the headline, I assumed it’d be a situation where she’d done several good things, and she just happened to be someone who’d also worked for decriminalization. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. She’s being recognized primarily for her work towards decriminalization. In a world where regressive and punitive legislation seems the new norm, have a sex worker recognized by the ultimate establishment figure of the Queen is a happy twist. Congratulations to Catherine and whoever nominated her.

A lot of pro-dommes own thrones and cherry pick some of the trappings of royalty. However, it’s tough to beat a thousand years of inbreeding and faith in a divine right. The shot below shows Mistress Ezada Sinn on her throne. It’s a pretty impressive one, but not quite up to Sovereign’s Throne in the House of Lords. Now that’d be a great location to play out a worship scene.

Five bonus points for anyone who knows where the post title came from.

Succeeding through Kink

Does actively engaging in kink make your more successful and creative in life? That’s the premise of this Harper’s Bazaar article. It’s a nice thought, and it’d be great if it were true, but I’m not sure the article entirely sells me on the idea. It reads a little too much like those lifestyle articles based on selective chosen scientific surveys. They’re not necessarily wrong, but they often treat scientific possibilities as probabilities or even certainties.

From a personal perspective, I’d say my data points are mixed. On the one hand kink does make me feel happier, more relaxed and more confident. That potentially could translate into a more productive and constructive paltego in daily life. On the other hand, kink can be a refuge for avoiding facing tough issues. Like a drug it gives me a high and an escape, which isn’t necessarily always in my best interest. It’s tough to judge what the overall large effect is, although I will anecdotally observe that the greatest period of success in my career correlated with when I was most regularly active in kink.

I’ll finish with an image of success. Hers for a productive days shopping and his for not dropping all the boxes (yet).

This image is by Ellen von Unwerth, shot for Vogue Italy and featuring Bianca Balti.

International Sex Worker Day

June 2nd is International Sex Worker Day. In the light of the FOSTA/SESTA bill passed in the US, it takes on even more significance this year. I’m a bit late with this post to encourage people to attend the various marches that have been happening in major cities, but it’s never too late to show your support.

Some of you may be thinking that you’ve never hired a sex worker, so this isn’t your issue. You’d be wrong. Almost all the sexy images and movies on the internet feature sex workers of some sort. All those images that tumblr is packed with and the movies on the various tube sites is created and taken (usually without consent) from sex workers. This blog wouldn’t exist without sex workers. They feature in the majority of the images I post, they’re the sources for a lot of the links I feature and my interactions with them trigger the thoughts I share. They give society so much and in return, they get marginalized, persecuted and prosecuted.

The simplest thing you can do to support sex workers is to purchase their services. If you like porn, then buy it. There’s a ton of independently produced femdom material for sale at places like this or this. If you want something a little more personal, then maybe order a custom clip? A lot of dommes will make them (for example here, here, here and many more). If you’ve ever considered hiring a pro-domme or escort then go for it. Be polite, clean and pay what’s asked and I predict you’ll have a great time. If you can’t meet in person, then consider using something like niteflirt or OnlyFans. Many of the dommes I talk about here use those services (e.g. Domina Yuki, Mistress Tess, Mistress Evilyne, etc.)

Alternatively, if you want to contribute more directly to the broader sex worker community, then you could donate to organizations like SWOP, Lysistrata, Soar Institute and St James. Or, if you want a more general organization to donate to, try the Electronic Frontier Foundation. They seem to have been one of the few privacy and free speech organizations to consistently stand up against SESTA/FOSTA.

The image below is from Mistress Iris. She also put up a couple of very thoughtful and well written instagram posts here and here. Worth checking out and reading. Not to mention its a chance to enjoy how fabulous she looks.

For Richer, For Poorer

Is there a fetish for rich women with poor men? If so, I may have it. Images like the one below always give me a little catch in the throat and quiver down the back. It’s kind of the opposite of fin-domme. These women already have so much wealth and power they don’t need to demand it. Instead the make their amusement by toying with whoever crosses their path. Social femme fatales.

This is Sara Sampaio for the Summer 2018 issue of Sorbet Magazine.
Photo by Rowan Papier. Found via the labstrakts tumblr.

Ballet, Fashion and Fairy Tales

A lot of fairy tales have a healthy undercurrent of sex and kink to them. There’s imprisonment, bondage, torture, bestiality, sacrifice and all sorts of inter-generational power games. What’s not to love about that?

The image below comes from a re-telling of Snow White, with costumes by Jean Paul Gautier. The evil queen is dressed much as I always imagined her – ‘with thigh-high black boots, latex and leather strap work.’ This new version of the fairy tale comes from Angelin Preljocaj and is currently playing at the Sydney Opera house. Sadly, while the costumes are great, I don’t think it fulfills my other fantasy about the story, where the evil queen triumphs and corrupts the prince into all sorts of wonderful depravity.

On the road again

It has been at least a couple of weeks since I was on vacation in San Francisco. So that can only mean one thing – time for another vacation. This time I’m heading East rather than South, and stopping off at several destinations. Much kinky play and good food remains the goal.

Today I flew into Chicago, which is just about close enough to Seattle to make it feel like a short jaunt rather than a long journey. I entertained myself en-route with music via the crappy ear buds that came with my phone but, after seeing this article on BDSM cage headphones, I now realize I need to step my audio game up. Apparently while I was simply listening to music, I could have been making a kinky social and fashion statement, all for the low low price of $6,450. I’m not sure if pulling on a set of these headphones on a flight would attract amusement or a takedown by an air marshal. Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to risk it on a United flight.

Good looking Nerf Herder

I missed a post to celebrate Star Wars day (May 4th). However, I’m not waiting another 51 weeks before posting this awesome image. So it’ll just have to be a belated celebration post. That’s a pretty well muscled princess and a good looking scoundrel.

I’d love to know where this is from, but unfortunately reverse image searching gives me nothing. If anyone can help me attribute, then please leave a comment.

Updated: Via a very helpful comment (thanks Sam!) I think this is the original tumblr post (complete with extra photos) and the two people are dovemeir and america_young.

Zendaya of Arc

The recent Met Gala was themed around the Catholic imagination. I know for some people a combination of religious themes, high fashion and beautiful people would be a rich source of hot imagery, but religious iconography doesn’t do much for me. That is until I saw the outfit worn by Zendaya and created by Versace. Admittedly, given it’s based on Joan of Arc, it’s more historical than religious, but holy hell. What an incredible look. Not exactly ideal for riding into battle in, but great for wearing to the celebratory ball afterwards. I just wish she’d accessorized it with something sharp and spiky.