Mainstream – Page 37 – Femdom Resource

Big tech and adult content

The recent decision by Google to ban blogs featuring sexually explicit images/video or graphic nudity continues to reverberate around the blogsphere. While in theory text only explicit blogs are safe, but how long would you like to bet on that lasting? If they can change the rules once, they can do it again and probably will.

Over time Google has clearly got more conservative and less idealistic. Their image search is another good example of that. For example, assuming you have safe search off, compare a search for the lovely Mistress T on Google and Bing. Google barely features her in the results where Bing features a bare her from every angle imaginable. CBT on Google is a lot of powerpoint slides, where on Bing it’s wall to wall penises. My favorite is probably Men in Pain. On Google it’s a lot of stock photos of guys with headaches where on Bing it’s all sorts of good femdom stuff. This kind of conservatism is an expression of Google’s current culture.

They’re not alone in this. Apple has consistently run into bad press for censorship. Facebook recently got into trouble for it’s policy of blocking drag performers from their platform, and has many previous censorship problems. Amazon seems to run into censorship questions every few months.

What I find fascinating (outside my annoyance at the outcome) is how these kind of decisions are taken. The external perception of large tech companies is of corporate monoliths, but the reality is that very few people will be involved with these kind of decisions. I’ll also bet that they’re not taken at a particularly high level. A few product managers get into a room and make a bad call based on very limited information. They end up affected millions of people, but they’re not some grand expression of corporate will taken by cigar smoking board members. They’re a corporate culture filtered through a few people.

I had difficulty picking an image for this post until I stumbled on the shot below. It seemed apt.

Home Street Home

If you live in the Bay Area and are a fan of punk, you might want to check out a new musical entitled Home Street Home. As described in this SFWeekly article, it has been written by Fat Mike (of NOFX fame), Soma Snakeoil (his partner / domme) and Jeff Marx (compose of Avenue Q). As you might expect from a punk musical it features some challenging themes, including drug use, self-harm, prostitution and BDSM. On the musical side it’s blessed with members from punk bands like the Descendents, Lagwagon, No Use for a Name, Alkaline Trio, Dropkick Murphys, etc.

I’ve posted on Fat Mike previously, and commented positively on the refreshing and frank way he discusses his kinks. This article and the musical continue that trend. The chain that you can see Soma gripping in the image below is his collar, locked around his neck with a key that she carries.

The show runs at Z space in San Francisco from now until March 7th. I really hope it get’s an extended run so I can make it down there to see it myself.

Should your tastes not run to punk musicals but you’d like to see more of Soma Snakeoil, her professional site is here.

Ask an expert

When it comes to talking to adolescents about kink I tend to steer a wide course. I don’t have any children – a state of affairs I’m quite content with – and assume that parenting skills are above my pay grade. Nobody wants to hear from the happily unattached single guy exactly how they’re screwing up their kids. However, I do think I can spot good and bad advice when I see it, and I happened to run across great examples of both in the last few days.

On the positive side we have this from the excellent Dan Savage. Personally I find it astonishing what the son in question shares with his mother. I’d rather do CBT with used rusty fishhooks that share a sexual fantasy with my parents, but I admire his mother for being smart enough to not freak out and to contact Dan for advice.

On the negative side we have a sequence of blog posts from Miriam Grossman MD – here, here, here and here. I would say her arguments are laughable, but she’s a qualified doctor who is making money from advising the parents and children that come to her. So not really a laughing matter. She automatically conflates BDSM with abuse and sets up ludicrous strawman arguments around the idea of consent. Apparently psychologically healthy women dream about wedding gowns rather than handcuffs. Does that mean I should be dreaming about tuxedos and cummerbunds?

Of course the really annoying thing is that she’s not wrong in describing Christian Grey as abusive. He absolutely is. Just not for any of the reasons she gives. So thanks E L James. You’ve got me agreeing with the crazy crowd.

I’ve no idea what image would be suitable for this post. So I’ll finish with a shot of a lady biting a man on the ass. Enjoy!

The publicity machine

The 50 Shades movie is hitting screens (to some less than flattering reviews), and that means the publicity machine is cranking into high gear. There’s articles on everything from the spin-off products, through the people protesting it to the douchebags trying to cash in.

Fortunately, amongst all the dross, there are a few reasonable articles that have emerged. This one has some good background on why someone might enjoyed BDSM. This one by Lady Velvet Steel covers why real kinky play is so different from what the movie portrays. Finally, this gives the view from the submissive perspective on the good and the bad in the movie.

The alpha submissive

Is there any hard data to backup the oft cited theory that most submissive people are powerful and successful alpha types in their public lives? This recent article by Susan Wright is the latest to trot this idea out, and it often gets referenced in mainstream discussions of D/s. Personally I’m skeptical.

The only data I usually see is anecdotal from pro-dommes, and that doesn’t strike me as a great source. Firstly, their sample set is massively skewed towards middle aged guys with jobs that provide them with hundreds of dollars of discretionary income. Secondly, they have a vested interest to portray their clients in a positive light. No smart business person says bad things about their product or customers. Even outside the professional realm I think there’s a tendency to react to the perceived mainstream perception of submission. Kinksters assume people will think submissives are weak, weird or wimpy, so emphasize the opposite.

So I ask the question: Does anyone know of an actual study on this? Or is it just one of those sex myths (like supposed sex trafficking at the World Cup or Super Bowl) that gets endlessly repeated despite a lack of actual evidence?

Steamy

Celebrities offering bad medical advice seems to be an unavoidable modern phenomena. It’s a bit like athletes thanking God, male politicians on women’s health or Donald Trump on pretty much any topic. I really wish they’d keep their mouths shut and opinions to themselves, but sadly that seems to be too much to ask for.

In the medical field we’ve had Jenny McCarthy spewing nonsense on vaccination, Suzanne Somers making dubious claims on cancer and Gwyneth Paltrow’s bizarre diet advice. The latest from the fair Gwyneth is particularly entertaining – vaginal steam cleaning. Apparently it’s a real thing.

You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels
Gwyneth Paltrow

As you might expect the experts, those crackpots who waste time building expertise over years of study, are less than impressed. Apparently a good blast of steam to your nether regions will not balance your reproductive hormones. Crazy but true.

While the health benefits may not exist, I do wonder if the device might find a second home in kinky play spaces. It sounds like it might be a lot of fun, particularly if used on skin already warmed up by some corporal punishment. Just add some bondage straps to the throne and fire up the boiler. As an added bonus, everyone would finish up with sparkly steam cleaned bottoms. Just make sure it’s not too hot. Having a ‘blistered bottom’ should remain a figurative expression rather than literal.

I’m afraid that despite my best efforts, I was unable to find a suitable femdom images featuring steam. So instead here’s a man getting his bottom warmed in a more conventional way. This is from the Women Spanking Men site.

Better than an overdue fine

The sexy dominant librarian is a not uncommon femdom theme. I have to admit to being a sucker for it, despite its cliched nature. This cartoon from Grant Snider is one of the more amusing takes on it that I’ve spotted. It’s not often you see an old fashioned library card catalog used in a bondage scene.

Miss Peel

I was sad to read of the recent passing of Brian Clemens. He wasn’t exactly a household name, but as the man behind the 60’s TV series The Avengers, I’m sure a lot of my readers have enjoyed his work. It featured two wonderful British actresses in Honor Blackman and Dianna Rigg, both of whom sported some fine fetishistic outfits. Aggressive women in catsuits with guns – what’s not to like about that?

This is Diana Rigg as Emma Peel. She went on to play Contessa Teresa di Vicenzo in the Bond movie On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.

The bandwagon rolls on

Having spent the last year or so all over the internet, Fifty Shades of Grey is now popping up on my television. The movie is due out next month and the trailers are running frequently. I’m just hoping it doesn’t come up as a topic of conversation with any of my non-kinky friends. After a few drinks I’ll probably be unable to avoid ripping into it, which might lead to speculation about how I know so much about it.

An article on it that I would be happy to point my friends to is this one in (of all places) the International Business Times. If features San Francisco’s Mistress Morgana, Seattle’s own Mistress Matisse and submissive Stephen Elliot. They do a good job of talking about the complexity and variety in kink, as well as emphasizing the need for consent.

I find it amusing that although most regular people primarily think about maledom when they think about BDSM (in my opinion), it seems like that the majority of articles on it feature female dominants. I don’t think there’s any great underlying social subtext to that. It’s just that journalists are busy/lazy and virtually all professional dominants are female. It’s much easier to find the contact details of a local pro-domme via a quick web search than it is to track down a lifestyle male dominant.

The above image is of Mistress Morgana. She’s a BDSM professional, educator and guide. If you’re in the San Francisco area and interested in experiencing that wooden spoon for yourself, her contact details are here.

Cosmo article shocker

Mocking sex articles from Cosmopolitan magazine is no great challenge, although it can be amusing. They have a reputation for coming up with some ridiculous advice. For example, I give you toilet paper bondage.

When I saw an article from them entitled ‘I took my boyfriend to a dominatrix‘ I therefore didn’t have particularly high hopes, but it’s actually not terrible. Admittedly it’s a very short, fluffy throw-away piece. Yet there’s no jaw dropping idiocy in it or horrible factual errors. They were also smart enough to pick a talented and well known domme in the form of Mistress Wynter. I can almost imagine a couple reading the article and being encouraged to try a visit themselves.

I’ve always thought that more people should treat sex workers as an educational resource, particularly when it comes to BDSM. After all very few people would take up a sport or hobby that required specialized skills and used a variety of potentially dangerous equipment and then expect to make it up as they went along. Particularly if said dangerous equipment was in the vicinity of their naked genitals. In that situation smart people either join a local club or hire a professional instructor. BDSM obviously offers the club option, but not everyone wants to mix a social scene into their sexual play. In that case a pro-domme is an excellent alternative for learning new techniques.

Above image is of Mistress Wynter with a hooded slave as photographed by Anthelian. She’s a NYC based pro-domme and if you’re interested in utilizing her educational skills her contact info is here.