Tag: Mainstream

Name of the Game

Do you know the names Margaret Hyra, Neta-Lee Hershlag or Demetria Guynes? Any ideas? How about Julie Smith or Robyn Fenty? You might know them better by their stage names of, respectively, Meg Ryan, Natalie Portman, Demi Moore, Julianne Moore and Rihanna. Does knowing their original names change the perception of their work? Outside of idle curiosity, I’m guessing the answer is no.

I’m writing about names because of this NYT article on sex work and working names. It’s written by a pro-domme named Mistress Natalie and details all the aggressive boundary pushing clients did to try and find her ‘real’ name. I’m sure its contents are no surprise to other sex workers. Clients who pay attention shouldn’t be too surprised either. It’s a common complaint on sex workers social media feeds.

It always struck me as a weird thing for clients to care about. I get why creepy boundary pushers do it, but what’s everyone else’s excuse? We’re accepting of professional names in all sorts of other situations. Isn’t the name that someone chose for themselves more interesting and meaningful than the one picked by their parents a few decades back? Nobody accuses Helen Mirren of being inauthentic just because she doesn’t go around calling herself Ilyena Lydia Mironoff. Although, frankly she probably should use that, because it’s an awesome name.

This is the great Dame Helen herself, shooting for US Vogue in 2013.

Eva’s Peasants

My subby fantasies were tickled by this news story on Eva Green. Apparently she had a falling out with the producers of a project she was working on and told them exactly what she thought. This included insults such as ‘peasants’, ‘arseholes’ and ‘fucking morons’. I’ve no idea if these barbs were justified or not, but I do have to agree with the article writer when he says…

She’s haughty and imperious. She knows exactly where she stands in the world, and she would rather die than hang around with the likes of us. Her contempt is tangible and, really, isn’t that exactly what we want in a movie star?

His conclusion is that we’d all like to aspire to this level of free expression. That might be true for the majority, but some of us would rather be on the receiving end of Ms Green’s acid tongue. Haughty and imperious are sexy attributes whatever someone’s profession. It also struck me that if she ever puts her face to a perfume then ‘Tangible Contempt’ would be an excellent name for it.

This is a shot of Eva from ‘A Dame To Die For‘, the follow-up to Sin City.

Why not both?

One final comment on the recent ‘Fetish or Fashion’ pop-quiz I’ve been running. Servitor posed the very reasonable question: Why not both?

That’s a fair point. As far as the resulting images go, they contain significant elements of both fetish and fashion. I guess I should frame the question around the image creators and their primary industry. Is it a pro-domme / fetish producer or a model being paid for a shoot with a (relatively) mainstream publication. Is it someone who spends more time in dungeons and playspaces than they do strutting a catwalk? What kind of animal do they usually have at the end of a leash? Petite Pomeranian or a perky puppy boy?

There’s clearly a healthy interchange between the fashion and fetish worlds. However, I’m not sure it’s always a equally balanced exchange. A lot of pro-dommes are extremely fashion aware. Unfortunately, on the flipside, fashion editors and photographers often seem confused about kink. A charitable take would be that they’re deliberately re-interpreting and re-contextualizing kink to tell their own stories. After all, their ultimate goal is different to someone creating material for a kink or fetish market. A less charitable interpretation would be they’re raiding kink for easy shock value and then haphazardly mashing its elements together without any really understanding.

I think the distinction between fashion or fetish often doesn’t come down to the clothes, styling, make-up or beauty of the subjects. It’s down to their understanding and intelligent use of the kinky elements. Or not.

This mainstream fashion shot is from Vice Serbia, features rapper Sajsi Mc and was photographed by Alek Živković.

Fashion or Fetish? Part III

Here’s the third and final part of my fetish or fashion game. This time it’s a two-for-one deal, with an image from each category. But which one is from the world of fashion and which from the world of fetish? I suspect regular readers may find it a little easy given who is featured, but it’s an image I couldn’t resist.

If you guessed the first was fashion and the second was fetish then congratulations. Have a gold star. Or maybe, more appropriately, a shiny leather one. The first image is Carmen Electra, shot by  Josef Jasso for Nylon magazine. You can see more images from the shoot here. The second one is, as I’m sure many readers might have recognized, the incomparable Mistress Iris. This was from her twitter feed.

Hot Advice

I’m always a fan of mainstream magazines running positive articles on BDSM and ideas for kinky play. Getting more people to explore their sexual interests is great. However, the media have a tendency to lead with the high risk stuff, which is pretty much the last thing new kinksters should be trying in their bedroom.

Take for example this Vice article on temperature play. It’s titled a beginners guide, but in the first half dives into topics like making fire torches with alcohol and dropping flammable propane bubbles on people’s skin. Admittedly they add a bunch of caveats about not trying it without training, but why start there in a beginners guide? There’s a ton of fun temperature stuff you can do with hot wax and ice cubes that isn’t likely to land you in the ER. Pretty much by definition, if you’re learning about temperature play for the first time from a Vice article, there’s nothing you should be doing in the nude with flammable gases or liquids. Leave it to the professionals.

This is the striking Lady Lola, someone who is very much a professional. She is a London based pro-domme who lists fire play as one of her specialties. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Pleasing Aubrey

One of my longstanding celebrity crushes has been Aubrey Plaza. She has – at least in her public persona – a fun mix of intensity and playfulness. Not to mention the obvious hotness. I’m crushing all the more having seen this video comparing Jessica Chastain and Aubrey’s reactions to ‘thirst tweets.‘ Ms Chastain seems somewhat horrified, while Ms Plaza leans into it hard. Totally worth a watch or ten.

If you’d like to see more of her then I’d recommend the show Legion (currently on Hulu). The first season is excellent and, while the next two seasons aren’t as strong, I never grow bored of watching Ms Plaza tear up a scene. You can see the kind of thing I mean in this Season 3 trailer.

This shot of Aubrey Plaza as Lenny is from Season 1 of Legion.

You’re Late

This interview with Margaret Cho contains a lovely anecdote that gave my heart a momentary pitter pat.

Once I was with my friend, the late director John Schlesinger, when suddenly he panicked. Without explaining, we sprinted to a gay bar. A tall woman slowly spun around on a stool, as John grovelled. “You are late,” she drawled. It was Lauren Bacall. She was mad, and I was starstruck.

I’m not sure if this counts as found femdom, but it’s certainly an image to treasure. John Schlesinger – an Oscar winner for Midnight Cowboy – certainly knew who was calling the shots.

I’ve always been a huge fan of Lauren Bacall. She was obviously beautiful and glamorous, like a lot of her contemporary stars, but she had a style and attitude that I think few matched. If you image search for her, almost any of the shots wouldn’t look at of place on a femdom blog, but I’m a particular fond of this one. Oh, and this one.

If you’d like to see more of her amazing style, then this Cut article has a good collection of images.

Professor and Dominatrix

The Daily Beast has put up an interesting if somewhat depressing interview with a Mistress Snow. If that name is familiar, you might have seen an article she wrote last year in The Chronicle of Higher Education. That detailed her experience of working in academia as an adjunct professor while earning money as a pro-domme and what happened when she told her academic mentor about her sex work side gig. In short, her mentor reacted with horror and vindictively withdrew critical letters of recommendation. The Daily Beast article is a follow-up that provides more details on what happened and why a professor would need to earn money swinging a whip.

I initially described it as interesting but depressing, and re-reading it again only deepens that impression. It costs a ridiculous amount to go to college in the US and as a result there’s a terrible student debt problem. Yet adjunct professors, who make up over 50% of all US college professors, are earning an average of a little less than $24K a year. That’s less than a Starbucks barista and with much worse benefits. Yet when Mistress Snow supplements her income with a pro-domme gig, the tenured academic world reacts with horror and tries to screw her career. It takes a really special kind of system to rip-off both students and their teachers while punishing anyone who won’t conform to it. I think this quote from the article really highlights the craziness…

I make way more money per hour playing a professor in the dungeon than being one in real life.

Note this image is not of Mistress Snow. I don’t have an attribution, but I’d suspect it’s from one of the UK School Mistress themed sites.

Also I should point out that Mistress Snow of academia (twitter here) is not the same as Goddess Alexandra Snow (twitter and pro-site) or Snow Mercy (twitter and pro-site).

Ariel on OnlyFans

My friends have occasionally accused me of being lazy. I like to say I’m not lazy, I’m just an efficient time optimizer. Put off a task for long enough and it’ll often naturally resolve itself or cease to be important. Anything that does make it past a good healthy period of procrastination is probably important.

As an illustration of my method, I give you this rather silly article on OnlyFans by Louise Perry in the New Statesman. It was in my backlog to post about and throw stones at. Fortunately, while I was putting off doing that, Ariel Anderssen wrote this excellent response to it. She’s not only a smarter and a better writer than me but, as an OnlyFans creator, she can speak from a position of authority. So I saved time and my readers got a link to a much better analysis than the rubbish I was planning on writing.

The only thing I’ll tack on is a comment about the politics of the original piece. For those that have never heard of it, the New Stateman is a politically left magazine from the UK. I expect the right to be negative about sex work but I find it depressing how often it’s also attacked by the left.

The right’s objections are predictably based around morality, religion and enforcing social standards. They focus on the sex part, which should obviously be between a man and his wife, preferably in the missionary position with the lights out. The left typically object to the work part, suggesting that sex work is inherently exploitative, both for the seller and the buyer. There are no grey area for them. Formerly moderate lefties in other areas will turn into Marxists when sex enters the marketplace.

There also seems to be an underlying streak of puritanism in the left’s objections. Not the fake morality of the right, but more a sense that people enjoying themselves is somehow unfair. When reading the New Statesman article I couldn’t help thinking of the H. L. Mencken famous definition of puritanism  as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy”. In this particular case it seems to be a fear that someone might be happy and someone else might make a living from that fact. A truly terrible set of circumstances.


Ariel Anderssen is a  sub BDSM model, so most of her images aren’t well suited to this blog. However, I did think my foot loving readers might appreciate this one I found on her twitter feed. For anyone who does appreciate some beautifully done female submission, then her OnlyFans is available here.

Stress

I probably didn’t pick the best week to schedule a bunch of job interviews. Combining those with the US elections has put some major pressure on my stress level. Hopefully I can make it to the weekend without a cardiac arrest.

As a stress reliever, I did enjoy some audiovisual candy in the form of a video – My Bloody Valentine by Machine Gun Kelly. It’s silly pop nonsense, with attractive people bouncing around and indulging in some light kinky fun. It features Megan Fox doing some tease and denial, which is just what I needed to get my mind off Wisconsin voting and questions about intra-team conflict resolution.

My thanks to blog reader Gary for the pointer to this.