Mainstream – Page 50 – Femdom Resource

The mainstream adoption of BDSM images

The New York Times featured an article on BDSM today. It wasn’t anything too surprising. Just the obligatory mention of 50 Shades of Grey and commentary on how BDSM is moving more into the mainstream. It’s nice to see a positive non-judgmental article in a major newspaper, but that’s nothing too unusual these days. What did surprise me was the photograph they featured with it (viewable here).

The 50 shades phenomenon has triggered a lot of BDSM articles and most of them either feature stock images of equipment (handcuffs, gag, etc.) or a cliched dominatrix trope (leather boots, a coiled whip on a hip, etc). The dominatrix photograph doesn’t make much sense given that 50 shades was a maledom story, but using an attractive women in a sexy outfit to sell a story isn’t exactly unusual. What surprised me about the NY Times images was that it actually featured a femdom image with both a man and a woman in it. That’s rare in my experience. Most mainstream articles are happy to describe BDSM play but rarely feature an image of it.

This isn’t to say D/s pairs can’t be seen in mainstream media. Fashion photographers seem to love that dynamic. I regularly stumble across arty fashion shots that have models portraying ideas of dominance and power. So it would seem mainstream publications are happy to use D/s pairings to sell entirely unrelated products, but are reluctant to use them in factual stories about real D/s. That must make sense to someone, but that someone isn’t me.

This image is from a fashion shoot called ‘The Night Porter’ by the photographer Harvey Miedreich for The Libertine. I found it on the Undiscovered Limits (aka Untamed Dark Mane) tumblr.

Sex addicts anonymous

I’ve never been particularly convinced by the idea of sex addiction and this article by Dr Marty Klein does a good job of knocking the concept down. What I found particularly fascinating was the link he provided to a sexual addiction test. In just a few minutes you can allegedly find out if you’re a sex addict.

I took the test, answered honestly, and discovered that I was in fact a sex addict. Surprised by that result I took it again, answered equally honestly, and discovered that I was not a sex addict. This seemed to suggest the survey methodology might be a touch flawed. The problem is the ambiguity of the questions. Two different but valid interpretations can give two different but valid answers. For example…

Are any of your activities against the law?
Well it depends what US state I’m in, but if I’m doing it right, yes.
Have you ever felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
Personally I think it’s hot when a domme pees in my mouth, but it’s a good sort of degradation. Does that count?
Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
I have to be honest. I haven’t told 100% of my friends about my love of electrified butt plugs.
Do you spend a considerable time surfing pornography online?
Well this blog isn’t going to write itself. But it’s purely for research purposes. Honest.
etc. etc.

Oddly one of the questions asks if you regularly engage in sadomasochistic behavior. So presumably that’s some sort of indicator. Maybe my first survey result was right after all. And judging by his expression, the gentleman below might be in danger of developing my addiction as well. That young lady is clearly a dangerous sex dealer.

This image is originally from Strapon Dreamer. I found it via the Your Vengeful Goddess tumblr.

PDS revisited

After my posts earlier this week (here and here) on PDS (Public Display of D/S) I thought I was done with the topic. Then I stumbled on the image below and felt like riffing on it a little more.

Personally I don’t kink on humiliation and I have a very low embarrassment threshold. I can get embarrassed just watching television on my own. Some people hide behind the couch when watching horror movies. I do it when watching comedies like Fraiser or Seinfeld. All this means that I’m not big on being leashed and led through the local shopping mall in a pink tutu.

On a more general philosophical note, I’m also not a fan of dragging innocent bystanders into a scene they’ve not consented to. However, when it comes to public spaces a little bit of my libertarian side does tend to leak out. A shared space means it should be for everyone. The fact I may not appreciate a couple making out, or practicing their fetch/sit/stay commands, doesn’t mean they should automatically be prevented from doing so. It’s their space as much as it is mine. After all, if it was left to me, I’d ban Ugg boots and Cargo pants from public display. Aesthetically I think I’d be right, but it’s hard to argue from a provable harm point of view.

For me the deciding factor for a lot of these ambiguous situation lies in intent. If you’re trying to piss people off and get off on their shock factor, then that’s obnoxious and out of line. But if you’re genuinely immersed in your thing, and trying to do it in the least confrontational way, then you should get a lot of leeway.

All of which brings me to the picture below, which I thought was very sweet. It made me smile. For all my fear of embarrassment, I’d be very happy to be this gentleman. And anybody complaining about it could go and kiss some other part of my anatomy.

I found this on the appropriately named Kiss the Feet tumblr.

The cutting edge of gender issues (beware of icebergs)

I was amused to read this gawker article on an ironic Fox News snafu. The original Fox article was all about the benefits of traditional marriage and traditional gender models. Unfortunately for them the picture they picked to illustrate it was of the first same-sex couple to get married at the Empire State Building. Sadly they eventually spotted their faux-pas and changed the picture.

Although the picture problem was funny, the article itself is also pretty amusing. My favorite section is …

Prior to the 1970s, people viewed gender roles as as equally valuable. Many would argue women had the better end of the deal! It’s hard to claim women were oppressed in a nation in which men were expected to stand up when a lady enters the room or to lay down their lives to spare women life. When the Titanic went down in 1912, its sinking took 1,450 lives. Only 103 were women. One-hundred three.

Now I’m a man. Far be it from me to dictate when life was best for 50% of the world’s population. But I have to say that as general measure of happiness and liberty, the “chances of dying in a cruise ship disaster” test doesn’t strike me as the most representative one. If I had to pick between early access to lifeboats and say the right to vote (8 years after the Titanic sank), equal pay (<50% in 1912, and still only around 75%) and protection from workplace discrimination (not introduced till the 60’s), then I’m taking my chances in the icy waters. Although if I have to also listen to that God awful Celine Dione song then it might be a trickier decision.

While it’s idiotic to use simple gender based social conventions as markers for oppression, that doesn’t mean the social niceties themselves aren’t worth preserving. I enjoy the opportunity to display some old fashioned manners. Sadly, while standing for a lady is common enough, someone asking me to adjust their garter is a touch rarer. While this shot has an older feel to it, but is actually from 1981. It’s by Helmut Newton for Vogue.

Astride her captive

I’m not sure where I found this image. A reverse image search tells me it’s a character called Fujiko Mine from the manga series Lupin III. I’ve never seen the series, but wikipedia says she’s a professional burglar who uses her attractiveness to fool her prospective targets. In this case it seems to have worked out well for her, although her captive appears to be having second thoughts.

Leash laws

Earlier in the week I came across this story on a public display of D/s. It’s an advice column, and featured the story of a woman taking her leashed partner for walks in a residential area. The letter writer was a concerned neighbor who wanted to know how to handle it. While the ultimate advice given was good (be friendly and don’t worry about it), the tone it was couched in was obnoxious. It seemed to have no understanding of why somebody might do it and attributed it entirely to a juvenile desire to shock.

I was pondering writing about this when, courtesy of a post from Mistress T, I was pointed to a follow-up article. The domme in question, a woman named Kai’enne, had seen the article and contacted the columnist. It’s a much more positive piece and puts across their D/s lifestyle in an understanding manner. It reflects well on all involved, although the reader comments are depressingly full of the usual hateful rubbish you might expect.

Then, just minutes after I’d read that article, I came across this post by Mistress Alex. It features leashes, public exhibitionism, bootblacking and the photograph below. I wonder what the original letter writer would have said to this scene in her neighborhood?

Mistress Alex is a NYC based pro-domme. Her blog is available here and her professional site is here.

Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.

I’m safely back in Seattle. Unfortunately I’m feeling pretty wiped out after spending a day in NYC and then around ten hours traveling (door to door time). So it’s time for a short simple post using something from my random grab bag of images that I’ve enjoyed.

I found this one on the devoted sub tumblr. I haven’t determined it’s original source, but I believe that’s the model Xenia Tchoumitcheva. It looks like it could be a candid behind the scenes shot captured while on a fashion shoot. If that’s the case, then the gentleman helping out the beautiful Ms Tchoumitcheva appears to have one of the world’s more interesting jobs.

The boyfriend trainer

For those looking to enjoy some virtual domestic violence, I have just the app for you. As this yahoo post describes, an Apple app called ‘The Boyfriend Trainer’ let’s you lead a guy around on a leash and slap/zap/mace him as you desire.

“Crack that whip and teach your guy a thing or two about being the Perfect Boyfriend!” reads the game’s description. “When scolding doesn’t work, just zap him, whack him and train him to be your ideal man!”

It sounds like a fairly stupid and obnoxious digital toy, but that’s not what annoys me about it. What really bugs me is what I’m sure would happen if this got tweaked into a BDSM app. After all, a lot of the actions described are things some men (including this one) enjoy immensely in the right circumstances. With some minor changes to the game scripts, and a new marketing campaign to cast it as a consensual D/s interaction, much of the criticism would be mollified. Of course if that was the application in question, Apple would undoubtedly ban it from the app store. They don’t allow sexual applications.

Jezebel points it out as a double standard between men and women. What annoys me far more than that is the double standard on sex and violence. Media featuring non-consensual sex and violence is a big part of mainstream culture. This application is a good example, along with movies available on iTunes like The Last House on the Left or I Spit on Your Grave. Yet mix sex and consensual violence together and you’re instantly confined to the porn ghetto.

Luckily there are better ways to train a boyfriend than swiping your iPhone screen. From the smile on the lady below, I’d guess she’s pretty happy with the progress from her training regime to date.

I found this image on the Mujeres Dominantes tumblr. It’s originally from the Strapon Dreamer site.

Punk, porn and femdom

After publishing my post on the AVN awards a couple of days ago, I dug a little deeper into the background of the BDSM award winner, Rubber Bordello. It looked like it was made with more humor and style than is usual for porn movies these days. I noticed it also won for the best soundtrack and best song, written by someone called Fat Mike. It took a few seconds for the penny to drop that this was the Fat Mike – founder, lead vocalist and bassist for legendary punk band NOFX. Not to mention his very entertaining side project of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (famous for punk covers like Over The Rainbow). I’ve been a fan of his music for years, but never expected to hear a ragtime BDSM porn soundtrack from him.

It turns out his partner is Soma Snakeoil, domme, fetish model and director/writer of the movie. By all accounts Mike is a pretty kinky guy…

It’s something that I’ve always done in my life, but people think most of the stuff I write about is bullshit. “Oh, he must have made that up because there’s no way a Japanese dominatrix put out cigarettes on his nipples.” Yep, that actually happened. We probably have thirty hours of footage that didn’t make it onto Backstage Passport and it’s of me getting beat up in Japan by Japanese doms. That’s a double feature right there.

That’s taken from this interview on the background to writing the Rubber Bordello soundtrack. There’s also a more general one on his BDSM interests available here. I’m not sure if a punk musician can be described as mainstream (unless you’re Billie Joe Armstrong), but it’s nice to hear someone like him talking openly and honestly to the press about their kinky proclivities.

The image features Soma Snakeoil as the player and Perfect Miss Pixie as the cello. You can find more shots of Soma on her members website. Alternatively, if you’re in the LA region, there is the possibility of arranging a session with her.

Interlude

I did have a follow-up to yesterday’s AVN post swirling around in my head. But then real-life intruded. Which in this case consisted of friends, dinner, drinks, more drinks and finally watching favorite movies late at night. The movie in question was Watchmen. It gets short shift from the comic book aficionados, but I personally think it’s one of the best comic book adaptations in recent years. For fans of latex and aggressive women, the corridor fight sequence is definitely not to be missed. In that spirit, I’ll leave you with an image of Malin Åkerman as Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II.