Bang. Bang. You’re dead.

Gun play is (fortunately) not one of my many kinks. I was never exposed to guns as I was growing up, and never developed any kind of connection to them. They’re just not part of the culture in England in the same way as they are in the US.

As a kinky activity gun play seems to lack any kind of graduated scale. At least with something like breath play, which can also have a strong sense of drama and mortal danger, there’s varying degrees of intensity. Guns aren’t that scary, right up to the moment you’re dead. At which point it’s a little late for a safeword.

Despite all that, I kind of like this image, although I’m not completely sure why. The beautiful skin tone and sheen of sweat certainly helps. Not to mention her striking lips. But there’s also something iconic about that stance that appeals.

Mistress with gunI found this on the gorean kajirus tumblr site.

It’s a cliche and I don’t care

Regular readers will know that I try and avoid images that hew to closely to the traditional femdom cliches. There’s no shortage of other blogs or tumblr sites out there with more traditional shots of attractive women in tight latex staring down the camera lens. But in this case I really have to make an exception. My God, I could stare at this image for hours.

In my twisted imagination I can picture her conducting a vicious, sadistic and incredibly hot medical scene. There would be needles and tubes and knives. And she’d be ever so calm, cool and caring. She just needs to tighten the straps before this next procedure….

Beautiful Mistress in Red LatexI found this on the Balls Crushing tumblr site. Despite the name it actually carries a whole mix of BDSM and related porn, not just femdom material.

A little tongue action

This is what you get when you combine the happy sadist smile with a look of concentration, and add just a touch of anticipation. As someone who pulls some odd facial expressions when I’m focused on something (or so I’m told), I can sympathize. I suspect her smile will be even wider when she pulls the trigger on that electroshock device.

From the submissive’s point of view the combination of the dildo and muscle convulsing electricity is going to be interesting. Although it really depends on how intense the shocks are. I’ve been hit in a session with a similar looking device, originally sold as a self-defense weapon, and it wasn’t too bad at all. God help any woman who’d tried to fend off an attacker with it. It would probably have only annoyed them. So I guess the moral is, if you’re going to rely on a consumer grade taser to defend yourself, make sure you check it out on a handy nearby masochist first.

Mistress using a shock device on a slaveI found this image on the rohosub tumblr site. It’s originally from Pantyhose Supremacy.

It’s a classic….but why?

This is one of those occasional posts where I ponder about why something is attractive, but without coming to any worthwhile or useful conclusions. I therefore apologize in advance for all the overworked electrons necessary to communicate this complete absence of information.

The something in question is the classic slim black skirt and white blouse, as modeled below by the very fetching Mistress Absolute. It’s a look I’ve always appreciated. In fact it’s the only outfit I’ve ever requested a domme to wear in a session. Normally I’m happy to let the mistress choose whatever she thinks is appropriate. But just for one specific activity last year I requested this and ended having a truly memorable session.

For all my enjoyment of this outfit, I’m at a loss to explain why. It’s commonly associated (in my mind at least) with secretaries and school teachers. Secretaries, while being the staple of many sexy fantasies, aren’t naturally a dominant role. And while the school teacher is an authority figure, I can’t remember any teacher I ever encountered dressed this way. All my teachers looked liked escapees from the 1970’s, with baggy shapeless dresses and unpleasantly colored cardigans.

It’s obviously not genetically programmed in, unless they’re about to discover the femdom fashion gene. And I can’t believe I simply picked it up from watching movies and television shows featuring school teachers dressed this way. As a child I watched programs about spaceships, cowboys and how to make things out of sticky-backed plastic. Authoritarian women in minimal but severe outfits were not a common viewing theme.

The only thing I can think is that there is something innately dominant about this look, given the jumping off point of modern fashions. The absence of color and simplicity of the cut suggests a serious and businesslike purpose. There’s no frivolity or emotional expression. It’s a very controlled look. Forceful. Restrained. And yet while it projects function over form, it’s not functional in the sense overalls or a boiler-suit are. It’s still clearly feminine and highlights the shape of the body. Sexual and yet controlling – a strong femdom combination.

Mistress in white blouse and dark skirt

Mistress in white blouse and dark skirt
I found these images in this gallery on Mistress Absolute’s site. From the watermark she obviously originally shot them for the Women Worship site.

GGG

Dan Savage writes a sex-advice column in the Seattle paper The Stranger. If you’ve never read it, I’d recommend browsing the archives. You might not agree with everything he says, but I find it a fascinating insight into the variety of human sexuality. My “favorite” sequence of letters and responses can be seen in the last section of this column and then, a week later, this column. The first letter is about forced cum eating, a not unusual femdom theme, and isn’t too strange by the standards of the column. However, the solution proposed in the second letter is, let’s say, a little more exceptional. Never get ice in your drink at their house is all I can suggest.

Dan has coined a number of well known expressions over the years, including Pegging and Santorum. However, it was his acronym GGG, (“Good, giving and game”) that came to my mind when reading this amusing article entitled “How I Learned To Get Screwed And Like It“.

So I found myself proposing to my (amazing) girlfriend of two (amazing) years that we try a little butt sex. The way I explained it, it was just another way to appreciate her and build trust. (Which is true, it just looks really creepy on paper.) She was hesitant, so I doubled down and put my own ass on the line. If she could take it, so could I.

After a romantic evening of Futurama, Wine, and a True Grit bootleg, she deflowered me. And I’ll never be the same again. I’m not going to get into any gory details, that’s what Twitter is for.

I think his attitude is pretty much the definition of GGG. And I can only hope the girlfriend in question had a smile as wide as the one below as she popped his cherry.

Smiling Woman with Strap-onI found this on the Bend Over Boyfriend tumblr site, although it’s originally from Strap-on Dreamer. I came across the Pluck Magazine article thanks to this post by Mistress Crimson.

A filthy habbit

This image reminded me of one of the funnier Collar Me posts I ever read. I’m afraid I can’t remember the exact words, so I’ll have to paraphrase. It was written by a dominant woman looking for a new male submissive, and read something like….

I’ve lost track of the number of men who in our initial correspondence have said they’ll do anything for me. I can whip them, beat them, bind them and cage them. They’ll tongue my ass, drink my piss, lick the dirt from my shoes and eat dog food from a dish on the floor. It’s always “Whatever you want Mistress.” And then I’ll mention that I smoke and it’s “Ewwww, that’s disgusting. I can’t deal with that.”

Obviously it’s a case of “Whatever you want Mistress…..provided it fits my preconceived fantasy of what a Mistress should do.”

Personally, while I dislike smoking in daily life, it can be an interesting dynamic in a D/s scene. There are a lot of painful games that can be played with a hot cigarette or cigar. And blowing smoke in a submissive’s face can work both at the level of humiliation and worship. I remember doing a very intense scene where, in-between applying burns to my skin, the mistress would slowly blow smoke into my mouth for me to inhale. Floating as I was in subspace, this felt like a gift, allowing me to draw her breath deep into my body.

Mistress blowing smoke in slave's faceI found this on the Awesome Femdom tumblr site. It’s obviously originally from the Russian Mistress site.

Super Sub

This image put a smile on my face when I stumbled across in earlier today. Not sure who the mysterious lady is (I was never a big comic book fan), but she seems to have put Superman in his place.

Although as I come to think about it, Superman would probably be a pretty boring slave to own. He’d be able to complete all his tasks and chores very quickly, but that would mean he’d be hanging around waiting for more instructions all the time. And he’d be pretty tough to punish unless you had some kryptonite toys. I guess you could get him to punish himself, but where’s the fun in that? In a genre packed with kinky subtext and power games, he always was one of the most conventional and vanilla characters.

Updated: This is probably carrying my fetish for attribution a little too far, but thanks to sub2mgi I can now add that the mysterious lady is someone called Star Sapphire. I was also hoping to add a couple of terse sentences describing exactly who she is. However, after looking at her wikipedia page, it’s clear she’s one of the many comic characters whose back story requires a supercomputer and a team of nerds to keep track of. As best I can tell, she’s something to do with the Green Lantern.

Superman as a slave

Oxygen is for losers

I had an amazing few hours with Lady Lydia earlier this evening. I spent most of it floating around in subspace, just a big puddle of relaxed submission. She used a variety of tools to get me there, including a leather straightjacket, needles, a ball clamp, a crop and a pair of chopsticks. However, the most devilish tool of all was a simple piece of plastic wrap. Draped over my face it slowly got warmer and stickier, dragged closer with each intake of breath. Careful regulation of breathing helped prevent it closing off the air supply entirely, but it’s tough to breath slowly when somebody is trying to pull your nipple off with a pair of chopsticks. Or slapping a crop across a few carefully positioned needles. The natural tendency is to moan and suck in a big lungful of air. At which point the plastic does its best impression of an alien facehugger, and suddenly oxygen has become a scarce commodity.

We were far too involved in the unfolding scene to snap photographs. Which may come as a relief to those of you out there with a low tolerance for skinny naked British guys in your daily blog material. However, as an alternative I found this infinitely more visually appealing shot of Lydia from her visit to OWK. In this case the plastic wrap is being used for bondage rather than breathplay purposes, but the limited availability of oxygen is a common theme.

Lady Lydia at OWKI found the image in this free gallery on the OWK cinema site. You can also buy the DVD of the entire session from Lydia herself.

A handful

Here’s a mistress with a very satisfied expression on her face. I like to imagine that as she tightens her grip, her smile is only going to get wider.

The pegs on his nipples are kind of cute. Although the last time someone tried these kind of pegs on me, I was surprised at how mild they were. These look dramatic, but it’s the little sharp clips that hurt way more.

Handful I found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr site. I don’t see an original attribution anywhere, but I’m going to guess it’s from one of the kink.com sites.

Inching to the edge

Mistress Rex isn’t the most prolific of writers on my blogroll, but when she does post it’s always interesting, thought provoking and highly literate. Her most recent post helped crystallize a number of thoughts I’d been mulling over recently. I suggest reading the whole thing, but I’ll just quote the section I particularly want to talk about.

I’d be bored out of my mind if I stayed within the parameters of what clients (or lovers) told me they think they want. It’s domination. It’s the thrill of control and power. It requires a degree of force and discomfort, a shifting of will. How do you know how much you can take if you’re not challenged? How do you know how much you can give if you’re unwilling to offer it?

Brock Lesner is an idiot, but he happened to deliver a beautiful concept (wherever he got it from) on national TV when he said that, “fights are won by inches.” Technique and skill can take you a long way, but it’s intensity that fills those inches – it’s knowing to keep going when you have your opponent hurt. It’s holding someone’s head under water despite their thrashing, because you know that panic is a moment too soon.

Mistress Rex from her post titled ‘Give Her an Inch and She’ll Walk All Over You

I’ve observed that being stressed and forced close to their thresholds of tolerance is a common desire amongst submissives. It’s certainly a desire I have in any session I do. No matter what the activity, I like to feel I’m being pushed and stretched in new ways. That I’m going to go further than I have in the past. I hate to stop an activity because it’s too intense for me (and I almost never do), but at the same time it’s never a completely satisfying session if we don’t briefly flirt with that possibility. It’s a very tricky line to walk.

The need to push for this intensity, to inch forward towards that threshold, is one that has bothered me a little. Am I just doing it for stupid macho-sub reasons? To prove that I can do it? And am I going to run out of inches one day? Find out that there is nowhere left to go and I’ve burnt out. Most other activities in life don’t require this kind of dynamic. I love fine dining and nice wine, but I don’t have a constant need to push my boundaries every time I eat in a restaurant. Why is my masochism and submission different?

I think Mistress Rex has helped me answer these questions. It’s about the shifting of will, the relinquishing of power. It’s only in those last few inches that dominance and control is absolutely demonstrated. What happens up to that point is just sensation. It might be interesting or pleasurable (in the masochistic sense) sensation, but it doesn’t cost the submissive anything until it approaches the edge. It’s the extraction of that payment where both the dominant and the submissive find the real satisfaction.

Breathplay with water immersionMistress Rex’s comment about holding someone’s head under water made me initially think of this image, but I posted it because it represents a type of play that quickly pushes me close to some of my personal edges. I struggle with anything that closely covers my face, whether it’s a leather hood or a tub of water, so using this apparatus would be to extract a very high price from me.

The dominant is Isis Love in a Divine Bitches shoot.