Nervous Anticipation

This image caught my eye for the way it so beautifully switches the traditional roles around. His body language and expression suggest nervous excitement, a naked virgin awaiting his new experience. In contrast she’s controlling, predatory, seductive. Gently pressing him down as she kisses and licks his neck, sliding the tip of her tool along his back and into his crease. I hope she’s gentle with him on his first time.

Strap-onI found this on the Am Bi Guosity tumblr site. There’s not a lot of femdom material there, but it might be interesting if you’re looking for ts girl, bisexual and ambiguous glamor shots.

The most controversial activity?

If I had to choose the most controversial and debate provoking femdom activity, I think it would come down to a run-off between scat play and forced bisexuality. I’ve posted about the former in the past and, after stumbling across the picture below, I thought it might now be time for a post on the latter.

I should be clear that the majority of my comments here relate to forced-bi in the context of pro-dommes, or casual play, rather than lifestyle relationships. I think the lifestyle dynamics are so complex and unique to each circumstance that it’s impossible to make the kind of sweeping generalities that I’m about to.

The first issue that arises for pro-dommes in this context is a legal one. If money is being exchanged for a man to be part of a scene and perform a sexual act then the domme opens herself up to prosecution under pimping and pandering laws. Those are charges that can carry very significant penalties.

Outside of the practical legal issues, I’ve also observed that some dommes have a more philosophical problem with this activity. The idea behind a forced-bi scene is that the submissive shouldn’t really enjoy it at the primary sexual level. He might get off on the idea pleasing his mistress, or with the power exchange involved, or the humiliation, but sexy fun isn’t supposed to be part of the plan. However, I’ve heard numerous dommes report that men use these kind of scenes as an excuse for doing something they secretly really want to do anyway. Five minutes into the scene and the domme is suddenly taking a backseat to the two guys getting it on. This not only undercuts the femdom ethos, it’s also manipulative and hypocritical, forcing a woman into a fake role because a man can’t admit his real desires. In fact it puts the domme firmly into the role of the pimp that the law would allege she is.

On the submissive side of the coin, forced-bi is one of the most polarizing activities in terms of the reaction it provokes. Typically when confronted with the idea of an undesirable activity, the standard male submissive response seems to be “Not really my thing, but whatever….” However, suggest forced-bi as the activity, and you’re likely to get a much more visceral and violent reaction from those not into it. For many men it is a fundamental hard limit that they dislike even talking about, let alone one that they are open to negotiating.

Personally, the idea forced-bi as it’s commonly portrayed (like the image below) doesn’t do a lot for me. This is not because I’m fundamentally opposed to the idea of another man in a scene with me. I think cuckolding scenarios can be hot, as can sissy play and gender switching. Even being topped by a dominant couple might be an interesting thing to try. But forced-bi as a kind of humiliation or punishment activity with another submissive somehow doesn’t really click with me as a femdom dynamic.

Forced-BiI’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this image. I found it on domme pics.

Please stand by…we’re experiencing technical difficulties…

The more eagle eyed of my regular readers may have spotted a lack of blogroll to the right. Unfortunately, after many months of successful and trouble free web serving, my hosting company appears to have encountered some gremlins. And then fed them after dark. And got them wet. I can only hope their data center isn’t currently hosting an extravagant musical number as I type.

To populate the blogroll I need to be able to pull in RSS feeds to read their latest posts. And right now the hosting service won’t let me make any outgoing connections. Hence, no blogroll. It’ll return just as soon as we figure out what’s going on.

In the meantime here’s a little glimpse of heaven by way of apology. It’s the very beautiful Justine Joli, photographed by Steve Diet Goedde.

Updated : Looks like the gremlins have been zapped and the service has returned to life. Normal blogroll service has been resumed and we apologize for the interruption.

Justine Joli, Los Angeles 2006

Old School

This is a pretty traditional piece of dominatrix artwork. Tight leather, bulging breasts, a piercing stare and a riding crop. Normally I try and avoid the femdom cliches, but something about this image appealed to me. Maybe it’s her calm and very matter of fact expression. The composition is clever as well. It’s incredibly simple, but the black and white background gives the impression of a doorway or opening, which adds a nice sense of depth to the figure.

Domatrix by Michael BairThe artist is Michael Bair. I came across this on the femdom artist site.

New blogs

I’ve added four new blogs to my blogroll over on the right.

Mrs Kelly’s Playhouse is written by Scott and Emma, and describes their female led marriage. It covers a wide variety of kinky topics, including BDSM, cuckolding, chastity and the all issues that come with integrating them into a full time lifestyle relationship.

The Glow Inside has been created by Steve Mayhew and contains an eclectic mix of artwork, fiction, links and his musings on kinky activities and relationship issues. He also described this blog as ‘looks the goods’, which I’m not completely clear on, but I’m going to take as complimentary.

From Mundane to Mistress is written from the perspective of Mistress L, who has transitioned from being a BDSM photographer to an active participant in the kink scene. I found her posts on her hunt for a new submissive to be particularly interesting. From my perspective as a submissive/masochistic single male it often feels like there are a hundred submissive men for every dominant woman, and that a mistress shouldn’t be able to swing a whip without hitting a dozen eligible slaves. It’s therefore illuminating to see some of the issues from the other end of the leash (so to speak).

Finally, last but definitely not least is A Life as Her ‘Wife’. This is a relatively new blog describing the lifestyle relationship of Paul and Carol, and is heavy on themes of cuckolding, cross-dressing, chastity and service submission.

Niagra Detroit ImageThis funky piece of pop art comes from Niagra Detroit. I discovered it via The Glow Inside blog.

Quirky

My recent posts on authenticity and smiling dommes seemed to attract a fair amount of positive feedback. This wasn’t really a surprise to me, as I’ve repeatedly seen a lot of negative comments from multiple sources on the snarling domme stereotype. That kind of classic shot still has its place, but it’s clearly no longer enough to simply curl a lip and wave a crop at the camera.

The image below was one I originally considered including as an example of a smiling mistress, but I decided in the end it was worth a separate post, as it’s more of an amused expression than an outright smile.

I think there’s a great dynamic here between the three people. The woman on the left appears to be giving directions. I can just image her saying “Go on, grind your heel hard into his nipple. Let’s see if you can make it bleed” The man appears to be a little perturbed by what he’s hearing, and is sitting up to plead his case. And the blonde with the quirky smile looks to be both amused and pleased with the suggestions. I expect her next words to be “You are evil! I love that idea. That’ll be horribly painful.”

Quirky SmileI found this originally on Awesome Femdom, but it’s clearly originally from Strapon-Hell.

Smiles

My last post promoted a request for some happy dommes, so I had a hunt through my grab bag of collected images to see what I could find.

Personally I’m a big fan of being viciously attacked by a gleeful sadist. I suspect most non-kinky people assume that seeing a dominatrix involves lots of crawling around on the floor while she calls you a worthless dog who isn’t fit to lick her shoes. And that can be fun now and again. But the vast majority of my sessions feature laughter, jokes and a happy mistress. I find it much easier to make a connection and feel engaged with someone who appears to be enjoying our interaction. After all, if I’m going to give up my power to someone in a D/s sense, it’s nice to feel they appreciate the gift.

Smiling MistressSmiling MistressI found this first image on ‘The heart’s dark desire‘ tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t know where it’s originally from. The second image is an old shot from the Young Goddess site.

Authenticity

Over on erosblog Bacchus has a post where he attributes his relatively small number of femdom related posts to a lack of authentic material. This struck me as kind of odd, and I left a comment on the post to that effect. Without a doubt there is a lot of poor femdom porn, mostly consisting of models dressed in leather sneering into the camera. But there’s a huge amount of badly composed inauthentic material in all types of porn. If anything I tend to find a greater degree of authenticity in the femdom genre. The women featured are typically professional dominants who shoot porn but have also make it part of their lifestyle and their daily business. And the men are often lifestyle submissives who are volunteering for the pleasure of the session. These are people playing in very similar way to how they play when the camera isn’t present. If you can’t find interesting femdom images it’s probably because you’re not looking for it, or at least you’re not looking in the right places.

His comment sent me wandering through my image collection to pick out a suitably ‘authentic’ image to post. I was initially looking for a more lifestyle shot, but instead this shot from CBTandBallBusting.com caught my eye. I think it captures a perfect moment in time. The stretched elastic band, her happy smile and his nervous anticipation. Here are two people very much lost in a kinky moment.

Snap!The domme I recognize as Ms Mona Rogers. She’s featured on this blog a couple of times in the past (see here and here). I found the image on rohosub’s kinks tumblr site, but it’s obviously originally from CBTandBallBusting.com.

The key ingredient for a perfect evening

Images of women teasing men in chastity are fairly common in femdom porn. There are a lot of keys twirled around and dangled in front of humiliated male faces. Suspending the key from a necklace is also a common theme. That not only turns the key of control into a decorative piece of jewelry, but also suspends it in a location that highlights the sexuality and beauty of the woman. So, apart from the attractive smile, this first image is nothing particularly exciting.

However, as the second image shows, Mistress Sophie Dee likes to do a little more than simply tease with a key. It seems our hero is perfectly placed (in an ingenious set of stocks) to watch her enjoy a particularly intimate encounter with another man. The rest of the evening then unfolds pretty much as you might expect.

I have to admit this is one of the occasional situations where I think “That’s really hot.” And then a few seconds later I think “How screwed up is it that I think this is really hot?”

Not, I hasten to add, that I have a problem with that kind of screwed up. I’m a kinky omnivore, and I’m happy to enjoy whatever seems interesting and exciting to my strange brain. But it does fascinate and puzzle me how my neural pathways ended up wired this particular way.

Cuckold being teased with a keyCuckold watching mistress with lover

This sequence of images comes from the Divine Bitches site and features Mistress Sophie Dee. There’s a short free video clip from the session at this page, along with the opportunity to purchase the entire picture set and full length video.