Tag: Outdoors

Morning Coffee

The weather is currently warm and pleasant in Seattle, which means I can take my morning coffee sitting outside a local café. It makes for a nice change, even if the litter and occasional drift of second hand weed smoke spoil it somewhat.

Miss ExtraVaganza has had a similar idea, but is pulling it off in a far more spectacular fashion. That’s a stunning outfit, which coordinates beautifully with her surroundings. No wonder she’s attracted a worshipful servant.

Miss ExtraVaganza is a Miami based pro-domme. This was sourced from one of her tweets.

Summertime

My last couple of posts have been a little grouchy, so here’s a happy one full of color and summertime sun, courtesy of a tweet by Lady Lola. I’m always a fan of the classic black leather look (which Lady Lola also wears magnificently), but it makes a nice change to see a domme leave those outfits in the wardrobe and dress in something so colorful and beautiful.

Lady Lola is a London based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

Beauty and the Beast

At a quick glance I thought this image belonged to the genre: “Hot domme in fetish gears hangs out in gritty urban environment to create interesting study in contrasts.” It’s not a major kinky genre, but there are a few examples around. For example, this one from the late great Mistress Adrienne.

However, on looking more closely, there’s a pretty clear sign it’s not your average urban environment. That hooded naked man locked away in the pen for one. There’s something particularly sexy about over the top bondage. Adding extra control when it’s not needed makes it so much hotter. In this case to go along with the bars on the door there’s the thick chain hooked outside, the leather hood and the locked hands in mittens. Lovely.

The hot domme in question here is Mistress Trinity accompanied by Heavy, sourced via this tweet. Unfortunately, the space is at Studio Avalon, which AFAIK closed in 2020.

Updated thanks to a helpful comment: The space is probably Residenz Avalon, rather than the studio. Unfortunately, it’s also no longer around. You can see a video from what used to be here.

Splash of Color

Surveys tell us that January and February are considered people’s least favorite month. That means we’re currently deep in the heart of gloom town. As a minor pick-me-up I therefore bring you this splash of color. It’s a nice reminder of happier, warmer and kinkier days to come.

There’s a subtle twitter handler woven into the image, but unfortunately it’s a suspended account. Poking around makes me think the image creator is Princess Honey now operating from this twitter feed.

Dealing with Ambiguity

I’m returning here to my prior post on the question of what is owed when ending a relationship between a pro-domme and a client. What’s a respectful way to navigate that transition?

The obvious response is that it depends on the history. If you’ve played together intermittently and just a handful of times, then the answer is likely nothing. It’d be ruder to reach out to announce you’ll not be requesting another session than silently moving on. If you’ve developed a deep and personal relationship, where the financial aspect is only part of the arrangement, then the answer will be very context dependent and impossible to generalize about here. But how about the middle ground? What about an ongoing relationship, with regular encounters over an extended period? The sessions wouldn’t happen if the client wasn’t paying, yet there’s also a shared understanding and familiarity that has developed over time. What then?

I think this situation can be awkward for clients to navigate for a number of reasons. Firstly, pro-dommes all have very different ways they approach things. That’s not just in style of domination, but also protocols, approach to sessions, communication, expectations, etc. For some, reaching out to explain would be a form of time wasting. For others, it’d be common courtesy. It might be hard to judge which scenario applies to your case. It’s not exactly a question you can easily ask!

Another challenge is the fact that pro-dommes can and do retire with little to no notice. Or decide to move and practice their profession elsewhere. I’ve had both happen to me and it can be quite disconcerting. Obviously, a domme can manage her career however she wants, but the possibility of a sudden departure is now always at the back of my mind.

Ultimately, I think what we owe each other should be the same thing. If I’d expect unusual consideration from a pro-domme if she moved on, then I should extend the same courtesy if I choose end the relationship. Outside of that very rare situation, I think a thoughtful email is a very reasonable approach between long term professional play partners.

In this gentleman’s case, moving on doesn’t appear to be one of his current options, although hypothermia might be. I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for the image.

Update: Thanks to my awesome readers I can now attribute this. It’s Princess Amber shooting for Brat Princess.

Cocking a Leg

I’m all for finding creative angles to shoot femdom imagery, but I’m not sure they thought this image through properly. Her look is a very attractive one, but it doesn’t seem entirely appropriate to the high street shopping she’s clearly partaking in. A leashed man in a suit is a fine thing, but how is he going to pee against that flower pot with his pants still on? He’ll just get a wet leg and damp pants. Which is a kink in itself, but probably not the one they’re shooting for here. Basically she’s got too few clothes for the setting and he’s got way too many.

I’m afraid I don’t know the source for this. It’s from an old tumblr and all my reverse image searches show up empty. If you’ve any idea of who originally shot it then please help me attribute via a comment.

Update: Thanks to a helpful comment, I now know this is from the site of Lady Asmodina. Sadly she doesn’t appear to have a web presence anymore, so I’m assuming she has retired.

Public Play Concluded

Here’s my final post (for the moment) on the topic of public play.

One hard and bright line that’s often invoked is based on the idea of consent. Involving random strangers in your play without their consent is clearly violating some pretty basic BDSM norms. That’s a relatively easy call to make when it comes to physical or psychological involvement. If you’re getting off on strangers getting upset, then you’re getting off by violating their consent. A clear asshole move. But what happens when that’s not your intent, but people get upset anyway? At what point do you need to seek consent from someone?

This isn’t specifically a problem for kinky people. I was reminded of that when I spotted this story on some very well done but very gory Halloween decorations. As a kid, that front lawn scene would have traumatized the fuck out of me. I’d have had nightmares for months. Even now I find it unpleasant to look at closely. So at what point should that home owning Halloween fan have to seek the consent of his neighborhood? Or indeed the consent of anyone who might come down the public street outside his house? At what point should we constrain public freedom of expression? It clearly has to happen at some point, because there will always be someone who pushes a boundary to the breaking point.

I guess my bottom line is: Be wary of blanket statements or simple rules when it comes to public play. It’s always dependent on context and content. I think the leash scene from my original post was over the line, but the scene in the images in yesterdays post is completely fine. Yet it’s very hard to come up with a simple easily applied rule that separates the two.

This photograph represents the kind of ‘public’ play I could get behind. The feel of being outside and exposed, but a big closed door to keep the rest of the world out.

More Public Play

There’s one comparison that always annoys me when the topic of kinky public play comes up. Inevitably someone will liken it to gay people kissing or holding hands in public. Which is a stupid comparison. The problem of straight people complaining about that isn’t the act itself, it’s the double standard. A valid act for one group can’t suddenly become perverted if a different group does it. That’s obviously not analogous to leading a semi-naked slave on a leash through a public space. Nobody else is doing it and it’s very different to a simple hug or a kiss.

On the flipside I think it’s important to be wary of the idea of pleasing everyone when it comes to public behavior. There’s often a framing that suggests people need to compromise so that everyone can enjoy the space and nobody is upset. That’s not a compromise. That’s using the lowest common denominator to set the standard. It makes everyone conform to the most conservative person in the room. A true compromise is when you’re annoying an equal number of people at either extreme. That’s when you know you’ve got it right.

I’ve no idea where these shots were taken, but I do like the mix of expressions in the second shot. If they were aiming for public humiliation I think they failed, as most people in the crowd look to be having a great time.

Playing in Public

A scene featuring a domme leading her puppy submissive on a leash through a supermarket recently went viral on Twitter. If you missed the hoopla, then it was later covered on the Daily Dot. That article is at least 50% advertisements, but it does cover the basics of what happened pretty well.

I have thoughts to share, but no time right now to do so. In the meantime I’ll leave you with  this twitter thread on the topic, which I found surprising nuanced and thoughtful. It’s rare in social media to find a viral tweet trigger a construction discussion. In fact, let’s be honest. It’s rare is social media to find a constructive discussion at all.

Here’s a different example of kinky public play. At least I assume that’s what it is. It could just be the most obliging boyfriend ever. Or, even hotter, she’s texting her boyfriend and he’s just a supportive (quite literally) friend.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this. I fished it out from deep within my tumblr archive.

Mood Killer

A week or so ago I wrote a couple of posts on happy memories of dialog and sound effects from past sessions. I thought it’d be interesting to follow those up with a verbal interaction that didn’t go so well. This example is from a few years back. It’s rare that I have a bad memory of a session but this particular moment has stuck in my mind, partly because it seems so trivial. Odd for a small thing to make such a big difference to a dynamic.

It was my first session with this particular domme and part of it involved a whipping scene. I’m generally not a fan of doing whipping with someone I don’t know well, as the intensity levels can vary dramatically and it requires a certain amount of trust to relax into the headspace. However, I am a fan of being flexible and open to how a domme wants to compose a session, and so as long as it’s not a hard limit, I tend to go with the flow.

She had me tied facing a wall and the warm up period was relatively short. That already meant we had two strikes working against us. Not being able to see a domme, particularly when I’m playing with someone I don’t know well, always makes a scene harder. The pain becomes disconnected from the dynamic and simply becomes something to tolerate, rather than being channeled through my desire.

It wasn’t the most intense whipping I ever received, but it certainly wasn’t light. By the time we’d finished I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking it all. At which point the domme said “Hmmm. Not bad I suppose. For a first attempt.”

That comment totally drained the energy out of the scene for me. Maybe it was intended as a combination of compliment and encouragement, but it had the opposite result. I felt like the scene had been set-up for failure, I’d powered through to make it work, and yet couldn’t even get a ‘Good Boy’ out of her. We didn’t play together again.

As I said at the start, it was a trivial thing. I’m sure the domme didn’t think anything of it. Yet for me, with the endorphins churning in the heightened emotions of subspace, it was a mood killer that I remember years later.

This is very much not the domme in question. Both her whip and her smile are a lot bigger than in my scene. I believe this is Mistress Ama K from the Latin Beauties in High Heels site. I’m not aware of a personal site for her.