Outdoors – Page 9 – Femdom Resource

Risk Aware Consensual Confession

A letter in a recent Dan Savage column got me thinking about the risks of confessing kinks to partners. The letter’s author is writing about her previous boyfriends admission that he liked to be peed on.

I’m GGG, so I mulled it over and decided that I am not comfortable with that. I was able to explain that regardless of how sanitary it may be (one of his selling points!), I am not down and he deserves to be with someone who is. Couple weeks later, I started talking to my future husband, who has the same kinks as me. Thanks for teaching me that being GGG does not mean doing whatever your partner wants but to always be respectful, even if it eeks you out.

I’m not really sure why the author felt the need to write the letter to Dan. I don’t think she comes out of it well. Having a limit on what you’re prepared to do is right and proper. But dumping the guy and making it sound like she did so for his benefit seems to be pretty poor form. As Dan points out in his reply, she can’t be certain her new love doesn’t have similar or worse kinks. After all, he’s going to be very reluctant to confess anything now he knows what happened to the last guy she dated.

While I was pondering this I came across this recent post by Miss Troy Orleans, where she commented on the sharing of kinks in a relationship.

I don’t think the men give their spouses enough credit as far as what their wives desire or what they might be open to as far as kink. I believe every marriage has room for some kink — perhaps it’s not the kind of heavy bondage, degradation, or skill-driven play typical of professional sessions — but with patience, communication, cooperation/accommodation, and an open heart, any couple can incorporate some kind of kink into their sex life.

I’ve never been married, so this is not a problem I’ve ever faced. However, I’ve read enough personal accounts of kinky confessors to realize there are many possible outcomes. Everything from kinky heaven in a newly rejuvenated relationship to divorce, despair and the fighting of wild dogs for a pork rind in a seedy back alley while the local hobos bets on the outcome. You should aim to steer clear of that last option if possible.

The one thing that always seems true is that predicting how a partner will respond is incredibly hard. I’ve yet to hear anyone say “I always thought my wife would like me to wear a fireman’s outfit and pee on her while making siren sounds, and it turns out I was right!” Complex internal sexual wiring doesn’t often manifest itself in obvious ways via someone’s personality or behavior. People will talk about indicators that seem obvious in hindsight, but they are never describing predictors they were aware of beforehand. It seems that the only answer for existing partners is to try and start with the kind of relationship Miss Orleans describes, and then hope they can find common ground.

Given I started with a letter on watersports, it seems only fitting to finish with some photographs featuring some liquid loveliness. Both of these are from the Felm Cyber Tumblr.

To pee or not to pee

As I was driving into work this morning I was mulling over the erotic potential for piss play. I’m sure we’ve all been there. Traffic’s a little heavy. Idiots are randomly changing lanes while talking on their phones. I’m trying to pick my gaps, catch the lights and figure out exactly what makes urination exciting. You know, the usual commuter stuff.

To be more specific, I was actually trying to figure out a scenario where simply being peed on was hot. I know that some people find that an automatic button pusher, but not for me. I don’t find it particularly humiliating or degrading. It’s just good messy fun, a little like sploshy play. Possibly sexy, but not particularly D/s. In contrast I find forced consumption, where it’s a very careful and measured approach, with not a drop to be spilled, incredibly hot. That has a real objectification and controlling vibe to it that really works for me.

Somewhere between I-5 and my parking garage, I decided that simply being peed on could work, if there was a heavy bondage and abandonment situation built around it. That takes it into a masochistic area, with a little side helping of degradation. I was therefore very surprised and amused to get home and discover that Lady Anna’s latest post described exactly the kind of scene I had decided might work.

I took D, who was wearing a cotton overall, down into my cellar along with a small selection of steel bondage hardware. I cuffed his ankles and then I chained and padlocked his cuffs chain to a ring that is screwed into my cellar floor. I then cuffed his wrists. I pulled a small hessian sack onto his head and secured it with his leather collar. I then told him to get down on to the floor where he lay as I pissed on him. Without saying goodbye I walked out, locked and padlocked the cellar door, and then at the top of the steps I locked the top cellar door.
Lady Anna List

As a style of play it’s probably not one you’d want to share with someone just feeling their way into kink. Or one to tell your curious vanilla friends. But kind of hot in my view.

The images is from the 21sextury site and I found it on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

Fetish Density

There’s quite a lot of fetishes packed into this seemingly simply little picture. There’s bondage (he’s in stocks), forniphilia (treating him as a footstool), CFNM and obviously tease and denial. Cuckolding could also feature depending on the relationships between the three of them. Judging by the red marks on his body he has been beaten at some point in the recent past, so we can add general sadism into the mix as well. There’s even high heels for shoe fetishists, although that’s the bit of the picture I like least. Who’d wear ridiculous shoes like that in a garden setting?

By the well known fetishes per megapixel measure (invented 5 minutes ago by yours truly) that comes out as 20.2 palts (named after its brilliant and yet modest inventor). Lookout for this new standard spreading across internet porn sites near you. It’ll make it so much easier to find exactly the level of decadence and depravity you’re really after.

I found this on the Mistress Anastasia tumblr. It’s originally from Planet Femdom.

Hearts and minds

Here’s another outdoor shot with a spontaneous feel to it. Again there’s not a lot of kinky equipment or uniforms. Just a woman with a firm grip on the situation and a man casting a worried eye in a downward direction. Not sure where she’s taking him, but she’s clearly determined to get there quickly.

I’ve personally always enjoyed being pulled around in this way. You really have to anticipate what the domme is going to do. If you don’t stay in sync then she’s pulled off balance (which seems rude) and your genitals get a huge yank (which hurts). I’ve done dance steps like this, which given I’m a geeky British guy (3 categories not known for their funky moves), worked out about as well as you might expect (i.e. It hurt like hell).

I found this on the Cock Ball Torture tumblr site.

Just do it

This shot first caught my eye for its dynamic spontaneous nature. It’s from a commercial site, but doesn’t feel overly produced. She’s not dressed in a particularly ridiculous outfit. There’s not a lot of kinky gear lying around. Just a woman having fun swinging a flogger and a naked man reacting to it.

However, on closer inspection I was kind of puzzled by his footwear. He’s naked guy getting beaten on in the great outdoors. Does he really need training shoes to protect his feet? It’s not a flattering look. Although maybe Nike has taken to sponsoring femdom material to make-up for Tiger’s numerous philanderings. I’ve heard that the BDSM endorphin high is similar to the high from long distance running, so there’s definitely cross over potential. Forget the Air Jordan, how about a Leather Isabella line of restraints?

Originally from Club Stiletto, I found this on the Felm Cyber tumblr site.

The meaning of life

This image made me smile. I don’t find it particularly erotic. It’s a little too surreal and impersonal for that. But it did put me in mind of a Monty Python sketch in the movie the Meaning of Life. It features a man who gets to choose the method of his execution and well, you can see what he picks in this clip. It’s not the funniest sketch in the movie (that would be this musical number), but if you were going to re-shoot it for the male submissive this looks like it’d be a great cast to use.

I found this on the Bits and Pieces tumblr site.

Masochist, submissive or foot fetishist?

Feet are complicated things. I’m sure most non-kinky people lump all feet related activity into the single category of fetishizing unusual body parts. But those of us with slightly more discerning (or depraved) palettes know there’s a little more to it than that.

A masochist might love ball busting, trampling or general kicking. He (or she) enjoys feet for the options they give a sadist to inflict serious pain in a very controlled and personal way. Alternatively, a submissive may enjoy the D/s aspects of scent, worship and service. Feet have maintenance requirements (cleaning, massage, nail care, etc.) which make them ideal for submissive rituals. Finally, a foot fetishist loves feet as a thing of beauty in themselves. They enjoy looking at them and caressing them, with no need of a D/s or SM dynamic.

When it comes to pornography involving feet, there’s often an overlap between these categories. The same image can be interpreted in different ways depending on the proclivities of the viewer. I think the shot below is a good case in point, where all three alternatives are feasible. There’s physical proximity for the fetishist, scent and subservience for the submission, and painful pressure for the masochist. Personally I’d say it looks slightly more masochistic than anything else, but beauty (and porn) is in the eye of the beholder.

I found this on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr site. It’s originally from Princess Kali’s site.

Pegging in the park

Summer seems to have finally sneaked up on Seattle. By which I mean we’ve had a few days over 70F and it’s been warm enough for short sleeves, provided you stay out of the shade. In honour of that, here’s a nice outdoor shot of a couple taking a break from strawberries and cream to fit in a little pegging action. I particularly like her hat. There’s not many femdom scenes where a straw hat looks the part, but this is that rare exception.

I’m afraid I don’t know who the couple are. I believe I found this at pegtastic.

Pseuds Kinky Corner

The satirical British magazine Private Eye runs a regular column called Pseuds Corner, containing reader submitted quotes of journalists being particularly pretentious or pompous. It’s normally dominated by art critics, who typically suffer from the biggest gap between their perception of the world (and themselves) and how the rest of us experience it. I couldn’t help thinking that this recent review of a modern dance piece in the Guardian would make a good submission to the column.

In Diaghilev on the Beach, former Boston Ballet dancer Joseph Mercier presents a reworking of Nijinsky’s Prélude à l’après-midi d’un faune, set to Debussy’s score. Mercier locates the piece at a balmy poolside, where two cocktail-sipping, harem-panted Nefertitis (Sarah Cattrall and Natalie Clarke) indulge their slave (Mercier), who is costumed in golden briefs and a jewelled dog collar. As Clarke languidly oils her breasts, Cattrall leads Mercier around, occasionally permitting him to lick her feet, and alternately stroking and slapping him. Nijinsky’s 1912 work ends with the faun shuddering in orgasm over a scarf stolen from a nymph, and a century later Mercier references the critical reaction (“filthy and bestial”, according to Le Figaro) by having Cattrall lubricate a butt plug attached to a jewelled animal tail, and insert it in her slave’s proffered rectum. It’s a startling moment, and even among the too-cool-for-school Chisenhale crowd occasions a quiet intake of breath. But the piece works. It perfectly reproduces the timeless languor of the original, it matches it in provocation, and in Mercier’s assumption of the most abject characteristics of the Faun and the Golden Slave from Schéhérazade (another Diaghilev sex-ballet), pitches reverberant questions about the dominant-submissive relationship of performer and audience.

I’m normally all for exploring questions about dominant-submissive relationships. And some languid breast oiling combined with a little foot worship, slapping and anal play sounds like a pretty good way to spend a Tuesday night. I may even add it to my ‘ideas for sessions’ list. But the idea of sitting in an audience and watching a modern dance interpretation of it? That sounds like the bad kind of humiliation and psychological torture.

Admittedly this image is more a garden scene than a balmy poolside, but there is a collar, leash and tail butt plug involved. It’s an image I like for the stillness and thoughtfulness of it. They’re not heavily involved or interacting. Just sitting for a private moment with their thoughts.

I’ve seen work by this artist before, but I can’t recall his or her name. As usual, I’m sure one of my highly knowledgeable readers will know the answer, so please leave a comment if you can help me attribute it.

Outdoors with a strap-on (revisited)

When I came across this image earlier today on the willie2serve tumblr site, my attention was initially caught by her happy grin. She looks very pleased with the large weapon she’s wielding. But something about her seemed familiar and after a few seconds of puzzling I realized I’d actually created a post last year using an image from what I assume is the same scene. She also has a happy face in the other shot, although it’s a quite different expression. And now I’ve seen the formidable tool she’s deploying, I have a little more appreciation for the not quite so happy face the guy is pulling in the other shot.