The beauty of dominant women
To continue my celebration of Summer, here’s one final post on the theme of ladies enjoying their lunch al fresco. This is, of course, the unforgettable Mistress Iris, dining in Paris with her gimpy. Her beauty and grace will turn heads at the best of times, but I suspect this dining excursion probably turned ever more than usual.
This image was sourced here from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here, her Patreon here and her OnlyFans here.
The weather is currently warm and pleasant in Seattle, which means I can take my morning coffee sitting outside a local café. It makes for a nice change, even if the litter and occasional drift of second hand weed smoke spoil it somewhat.
Miss ExtraVaganza has had a similar idea, but is pulling it off in a far more spectacular fashion. That’s a stunning outfit, which coordinates beautifully with her surroundings. No wonder she’s attracted a worshipful servant.
Miss ExtraVaganza is a Miami based pro-domme. This was sourced from one of her tweets.
My recent post on Meta was timely, given that they’ve just launched their new Twitter competitor, Threads. Thanks to Elon’s best efforts to run twitter into the ground, Mark Zuckerberg obviously see this an opportunity to spread his data grabbing tendrils even further.
I think it can only be seen as bad news for kinky people and sex workers who use social media. As I wrote before, Meta is famously anti-adult content. There’s zero chance that the kind of adult content I follow on Twitter is going to be allowed on Threads. Users and advertising dollars flowing to it, combined with Elon’s incompetent Twitter leadership, could end up driving the only adult ‘friendly’ social media site out of business. The idea of Elon Musk losing a ton of money because of that is highly entertaining, but not so entertaining I think it’s worth losing Twitter over.
If you are thinking of signing up for Threads, be aware of the degree of data mining that Meta do. They’ll look at anything they can find – contacts, cell location, wifi networks, account data – to try and build their graph of the world. While you might want to keep kinky and vanilla accounts separate, their goal is to connect everything they can about you, which can lead to very bad outcomes.
To finish a gloomy post, let’s use a happier picture, featuring a very different kind of rope threads. This is from another social media site that fell on hard days – Tumblr. More specifically it’s from the Dudes in Distress tumblr, which is still around but hasn’t been updated in 6+ years.
Podopheleus has written an excellent blog post on the importance of being true to yourself when sessioning with a pro-domme. Drawn from his own experiences and missteps, it has a bunch of good advice and is well worth a read.
My personal learning has been that it’s important to be clear in your own mind what aspects of the dynamic are negotiable and which aren’t. What you can’t negotiate you either need to make peace with or walk away from.
For example, the activities you do and the general dynamic of a scene should always be things you can discuss and adjust. If humiliation is a hard limit, then negotiate that up front. If a domme keeps sliding into that dynamic despite the discussed limit, it’s an easy call to walk away.
Where it gets trickier is around the more intangible elements – chemistry, style, intuition, empathy, etc. Those are things that you can’t negotiate. They’re an intrinsic part of a domme’s character and how she approaches her sessions. In a perfect word every submissive would be perfectly aligned with their dominant. In reality it’s a question of how much alignment there is and if you can live with the areas of misalignment. The mistake to avoid is being unhappy with parts of the dynamic, not recognizing those parts as being non-negotiable and then not being willing to walk away.
To pick a very prosaic example of my own: I played with a domme who took a pretty relaxed approach to timekeeping. I’m very punctual. She wasn’t. The first couple of times I was kept waiting for lengthy periods I was understandably annoyed. The third time it happened I realized that this was just how she conducted sessions. If I kept booking and kept getting annoyed by the same predictable behavior, that was then going to be on me, not her. I didn’t think it was something I could bring up with her. She obviously knew she was late and didn’t particularly care. So either I needed to come to terms with that and enjoy all the other great elements of our sessions or I should stop scheduling sessions. Starting off every session in a bad mood because I’d been stuck killing time in a local cafe for 45 minutes wasn’t helping anyone.
I’ve no idea what kind of image would best illustrate the themes of the post, so here’s something simply fun any eye catching!
I wish all my American readers a happy Independence day. Hope you all get to enjoy it in whatever fashion you choose to indulge. As a dual citizen of both the US and the UK, it’s a bit of an odd holiday for me. I’m basically celebrating independence from myself, which I guess make me a patriotic schizophreniac.
Fireworks and femdom don’t really go together (with occasional exceptions) so here’s the next closest thing – fireplay. This is Lady Lola with her pyro slave from this tweet.
Lady Lola in a London based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here.
I’m always amazed when I spot a sex worker or erotic content creator with an Instagram account. It has to be the least sex friendly social media site around. My feeds are frequently full of sex workers complaining about their accounts being killed with little to no warning. Recently they even had a burst of banning general sex positive accounts, that weren’t explicit or sex work related. Some of these got reversed, but I wouldn’t bet against future waves of similar bans. If you are using Instagram for anything adult related, it’s best to treat it as a throwaway that might be lost at anytime.
Mistress Estelle Leon is another recent casualty of the capricious Instagram algorithm. How stupid does a platform have to be to deliberately ban beautiful images like this one?
Mistress Estelle is a Melbourne based pro-domme. She may have lost her Instagram account, but you can still follow here on Twitter and visit her professional site here.
As a fan of CBT I thought I knew most of the crazy things men can do, or have done, to their C’s and B’s. Turns out I was wrong. This ProPublica article is a an eye opening and wince inducing look at surgical penile enlargement. Some of the procedures it describes would have even hardcore CBT fans screaming ‘Red! Red!’ It’s really interesting, and very well written, but I can’t imagine any of the doctors featured will be too happy with it.
Personally I’ll stick to penis enlargement via painful procedures the old fashion way, no scalpel required. Just pinching, biting, slapping, whipping and flicking.
This is another old image I dug from a tumblr archive. It’s original from the Mean Dungeon site.
A particularly fetishistic shot for today’s post. I don’t feature a lot of images like this one, but I do love the textures and composition of this example. It’s also a rare case where a collar on a domme doesn’t look at all out of place. It seems to be very much part of the outfit, rather than a random BDSM accessory.
I believe this is Master Trinity, a Miami based pro-domme with a particular love of latex. You can find her primary professional site here, Twitter here and OnlyFans here.
I always enjoy when experienced pro-dommes post past images from earlier phases of their careers. It can be fascinating to see the evolution in their style, clothes and play spaces.
If you share my interest then I’d recommend browsing Domina M’s recent tweets. She’s been sharing some lovely shots from her 20+ year career. Regularly browsers of femdom material will probably recognize a number of them, as her work with Will Santillo (examples here and here) has been widely reposted. She’s also written about some of those early shoots here.
The image I’ve chosen below is a very early one from 2001 (tweeted here). It actually involves two legendary dommes. Obviously that’s Domina M herself in the shot, with her wardrobe and dungeon sourced from her mentor, Simone Justice.
Domina M is currently based in Paris and you can find her professional site here.
Tumblr continues to stumble along, a shadow of it’s former self. I just got an email out of the blue telling me that some of my tumblr content was flagged as adult. This is for a dormant femdom tumblr site I haven’t touched in 5+ years. I mean they weren’t wrong, it was adult content, but that’s a hell of a moderation lag time.
Amazingly people are still curating and maintain adult blogs on there. They seem to get blown up fairly regularly, but I have to admire their persistence. Some examples viewed via tumbex are here, here, here, here and here. Hopefully my recent email isn’t a sign that a new purge is starting and they’re all about to vanish.
This beautiful image was sourced from one of my favorite surviving tumblrs – madam is all. Its curator has a good eye for content and their site has been my source for a number of posts here. This particular example is watermarked, but unfortunately I’ve no idea how to go about translating that text into a web search for a proper attribution.
Update: Thanks to a helpful comment – I think this is by this photographer.