Photograph – Page 209 – Femdom Resource

Hearts and minds

Here’s another outdoor shot with a spontaneous feel to it. Again there’s not a lot of kinky equipment or uniforms. Just a woman with a firm grip on the situation and a man casting a worried eye in a downward direction. Not sure where she’s taking him, but she’s clearly determined to get there quickly.

I’ve personally always enjoyed being pulled around in this way. You really have to anticipate what the domme is going to do. If you don’t stay in sync then she’s pulled off balance (which seems rude) and your genitals get a huge yank (which hurts). I’ve done dance steps like this, which given I’m a geeky British guy (3 categories not known for their funky moves), worked out about as well as you might expect (i.e. It hurt like hell).

I found this on the Cock Ball Torture tumblr site.

Just do it

This shot first caught my eye for its dynamic spontaneous nature. It’s from a commercial site, but doesn’t feel overly produced. She’s not dressed in a particularly ridiculous outfit. There’s not a lot of kinky gear lying around. Just a woman having fun swinging a flogger and a naked man reacting to it.

However, on closer inspection I was kind of puzzled by his footwear. He’s naked guy getting beaten on in the great outdoors. Does he really need training shoes to protect his feet? It’s not a flattering look. Although maybe Nike has taken to sponsoring femdom material to make-up for Tiger’s numerous philanderings. I’ve heard that the BDSM endorphin high is similar to the high from long distance running, so there’s definitely cross over potential. Forget the Air Jordan, how about a Leather Isabella line of restraints?

Originally from Club Stiletto, I found this on the Felm Cyber tumblr site.

The one where I channel a little maymay

For those of you that haven’t encountered his writing before, maymay writes the ‘Maybe Maimed but Never Harmed‘ blog. He’s an interesting guy and he writes about all sorts of stuff connected to kink, sexuality, gender and politics. Some of his stuff I find thought provoking, some of it strikes me as completely over-the-top and excessively dramatic. And don’t even get me started on some of his dumb comments about pro-dommes (for example here and here).

One thing he’s often commented on in the past is the prevalence of male dominant/female submission in scene spaces. So I couldn’t help thinking of him when I wandered past this page on the kink.com Upper Floor site. The alleged concept of the Upper Floor is:

The creation of a 24×7 BDSM lifestyle space as fantasized about in BDSM literature such as ‘Story of O’, Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Series, and Laura Antoniou’s MarketPlace Series. Such literature often describes a castle like place in which the norms of society are replaced by the rules of dominance and submission. “The Upper Floor” is an exploration into the feasibility of such a place and lifestyle.

That sounds like fairly ludicrous and laughable concept to start with. However, lets run with the concept of a luxurious decadent space to explore a formalized D/s “lifestyle” (quotes definitely required), and look at the main characters they’ve assembled. There are five in total, four men and a woman. There’s the Master (male dom), the Major Domo (male dom), the Steward (male dom), the Butler (male dom) and the Governess (female switch). Yes, the only woman there is also the only one they put into both a dominant and submissive role. They couldn’t quite bring themselves to add a simple dominant female, despite the fact that ‘Mistress’ would actually be a very appropriate addition to that list of roles. Instead lets ignore the fact that ‘Governess’ sounds like a pretty strict top role, and go with:

Punished or punishing, she is an expert in all things protocol and corporal. Her experience as both top and bottom give her a unique outlook on the needs of both slaves and masters.

Admittedly there’s also a very brief mention about the Butler being punished if he screws up, but it’s kind of lost in all the mentions of him dominating and punishing slave girls.

To add insult to injury, the governess is also responsible for “the close training on the kitchen slave”. So the only woman there also gets put in charge of the kitchen staff. Personally I’d have thought that would be more a job for a cook rather than a governess, but then again what do I know about these kind of 24×7 lifestyle D/s communities?

As kink/gender injustices go, this one is probably a fair way down a pretty long list. But just for a moment or two it ticked me off.

For an accompanying image I thought a governess style shot would be somewhat appropriate. I found this on the Superior Women tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution.

Ambiguity

I find this an appealing image despite the ambiguity of it. Although possibly I like it because of the ambiguity.

The setting is unusual. With the big leather seats it looks like a gentleman’s club (of the old sort rather than the strip sort). The mostly naked brunette seems to be presenting herself, adopting a position of vulnerability, while the blonde inspects and caresses her. It’s the kind of image the viewer can project their own fantasies onto. I get a very sensuous D/s vibe from it, but that’s just my personal projection.

I found this on the Sex N Comics tumblr site. I’d love to know it’s original source, as it’s kind of an intriguing shot. It seems too explicit for a mainstream fashion shot, and yet too composed and restrained for a porn shot. Kink.com has the upper floor which is supposed to be a luxurious ‘Edwardian great house’ but their furnishings always look cheap and tacky compared to this.

Sensual Pegging

A lot of pegging shots are quite aggressive. Pegging portrayed as an act of dominance. Given my kinky wiring I’m obviously happy to enjoy it in that way, but now and again it’s nice to think of it as a more intimate sensuous act. This shot makes puts me in that kind of mood. She’s so languid. It makes me want to cuddle.

I found this on the appropriately named Sensual Pegging tumblr site.

Cock smörgåsbord

There are a few categories of images I’m always wary of posting. Some I don’t do post because I think they’re already far too prevalent on other blogs, for example the stereotypical shots of the sneering domme in leather. Others I omit because they don’t necessarily appeal on an erotic level to me. Solo male bondage shots would be a case in point there. And there are some I think would simply be a turn off for a good number of my readers, like close-up cock shots.

However, I still periodically run across what I think are interesting images in these categories. Pictures that I think are aesthetically pleasing even if they don’t necessarily turn me on. Or illustrations of technical interest that would perhaps give people ideas for stuff they could try with their dominant or submissive.

To square this particular circle I’m going to do an occasional themed post that simply links to a bunch of tumblr pages. That way I can still share interesting images I’ve amassed without necessarily shoving them in people’s faces on my front page. To start the series it’s a cock torture and bondage smörgåsbord.

Here’s a nice circle of clips around the balls and a rope wrapped shaft.
A clever use of chopsticks and rubber bands to create a ladder of pain.
Similar to the last one, with rubber and wood used to tightly pinch the shaft.
A leather lace wrap and a long drip of pre-cum.
A very aesthetically pleasing shot, with a rope wrap gripped in his mistresses teeth.
This combines some CBT with some predicament bondage.
A collection of metal rings creates a nice presentation.
Finally a shot hosted here rather than tumblr, featuring clothes pegs and a chastity device.

Here’s an image a little on the lighter side to illustrate the post. It’s from the House of Desire tumblr site. No torturous apparatus involved, just a woman in control of his cock and his pleasure.

No means ‘We need to talk’

Ferns over at Domme Chronicles has a new post up about how to deal with a submissive saying ‘no’ to a dominant’s instruction. For those in a lifestyle relationship it seems like a very useful and thoughtful post. Sadly I’m not in that situation currently. However, for some reason, I did think it was kind of hot. I realize that this response is peculiar even by my own warped standards. After all, it’s about how to deal with the D/s dynamic not working. Yet somehow, the calm methodical way Ferns approaches the issue is kind of sexy.

I should probably get out more. I don’t want to develop a relationship advice column fetish. Buying porn is one thing, but I’d hate to be get caught hiding a copy of Cosmo under the latest issue of Tranny Granny Spankathon.

Sadly I don’t have any pictures from that particular publication, so I’m going to my random grab-bag of images for something to accompany this post. I’m going to guess that ‘no’ wasn’t an issue for the young lady when it came time to shoot this particular scene.

Found on the She Knows What’s Best for Me tumblr site.

The sexiest thing in the world

Amanda Gannon over at Adventurotica has an interesting post up entitled ‘Femdom and Fulfillment’. It was sparked by a post on the Not Just Bitchy blog that I’ve already covered in the past, and like that original post it’s basically a rant against the common depictions of femdom in culture and pornography.

I have mixed feelings about these kind of posts. I completely agree with the underlying sentiment, and I’d love for more emphasis to be be placed on the dynamic between dominant and submissive, rather than simply the male response. At the same time the pedantic bit of my brain wants to quibble with all the generalizations that get made when discussing such a broad area. And the problem solving bit of my brain wants to ask “So what’s my list of action items? We have a plan to fix this, right?” I realize that’s unfair and it shouldn’t be necessary to have a solution before you can highlight a problem. But speaking personally I’m more a fan of posting about and promoting what I like rather than what I don’t, no matter how justified that dislike.

And speaking of posting about what I like, that segues me very nicely into my favorite part of Amanda’s post.

What about men who …….. want a woman who is hard and hot and lustful, who will hurt them until they cry not because they are worthless, but because they are so goddamn precious, a woman who will hurt them and comfort them, who values them, and, dare I say, a woman who doesn’t see anything submissive about riding their submissive’s cock like a goddamn racehorse?
Amanda Gannon

Amen to that. There’s nothing better that a dominant who is actively enjoying what she or he is doing.

I was playing last night with Lady Lydia. She’d wired my cock and balls with electoshock bands, and was lying alongside my restrained body playing with the voltage. She would look across at me and spike it up, making me writhe with the pain. And then she’d laugh. Joyfully. Gleefully. It was the laugh of a happy sadist, enjoying the moment. I remember thinking, in between groans, that it was the sexiest thing in the world.

This image is from the CBT and Ballbusting site, which possibly rates highly on the ‘creator of cliched femdom erotica’ scale (the well established COCFE scale). However, I liked it for her smile. I believe that’s Mistress January Seraph with the strap, and while she’s not quite laughing with sadistic glee, there’s definitely a pleasing blend of happiness and satisfaction in that smile. You can the original sized version here.

Torture by jpg

I’ve never considered myself a switch. While in my daily interactions I’m a pretty forward and forceful guy, I’m 100% submissive masochist when it comes to my personal and sexual life. However, I think just for a few brief moments here I have the chance to play sadist and torture some of my submissive readers.

Take a long look at this image. Now, aren’t your eyes constantly drawn to that little drop of moisture? Don’t you feel an overpower urge to lick it off? Can’t you just imagine running your tongue along her ass and up to that delicate liquid bead?

I think this image is the still equivalent of those animated gifs where the submissive is teased on a never ending loop (for example this one). I can’t stare at it too long without feeling horny and tense.

I found it on the Someday Afternoon tumblr site. It’s originally from the FTV Girls site.

Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist

I recently watched Sick: The Life & Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist. It’s a documentary detailing Bob’s life as a writer, performance artist and sexual submissive masochist. What made him particularly extraordinary was that he suffered from cystic fibrosis, a disease that normally kills people before they reach their mid 20’s. He died age 43, making him one of the worlds longest lived suffers from it.

If you’ve never seen it I’d urge you to rush out and get a copy. I thought it was an extraordinarily moving film. I’m not ashamed to say I cried a little at the end. I also think it captures some aspects of masochism, submission and D/s better than any other film I’ve seen. Using a fairly standard documentary format, cutting interviews of friends and family into home movie footage, it paints a very frank and honest picture of his life with his partner and mistress Sheree Rose.

This is actually the second time I’ve seen the film. I first saw it over 10 years ago, before I’d gotten physically involved in BDSM, and I remember being fairly horrified at some of the SM activities they did. Now I look at the footage and think “Yes, done that. Loved that. Oh play piercing, that’s fun. Drinking piss, done that…..” I’ve never actually nailed my cock to a board as Bob does at one point in the film, but my sense of ‘normal’ has clearly shifted.

There’s some attempt in the film, particularly by his parents, to tie his early childhood experiences with his illness to his kinkiness. I understand that desire to look for a cause and effect, but it seems to be misplaced. The vast majority of kinky guys don’t have major childhood trauma and medical procedures. I think he was someone with cystic fibrosis who happened to be kinky. The one clearly influences the other, but it seems misplaced to think of it as a cause.

Two quotes really stuck with me. The first from Bob was near the start of the movie. The second is from Sheree and was towards the end when he was getting very sick.

People don’t think of the masochist as being a strong person. The stereotype that the masochist is sniveling and weak is actually not true. The masochist has to know his or her own body perfectly well and be in full control of their body, in order to give control to somebody else or to give control to pain. So the masochist is actually a very strong person.
Bob Flanagan

I don’t even think he’s a masochist anymore. I think life has beaten him down too much. The pain he lives with every day is so intense that there isn’t any other kind of pain that he can even think about right now.
Sheree Rose

I certainly agree with the first quote, and I think the second helps emphasize the same point. Being a masochist (or submissive) doesn’t mean being a needy person or someone who has no control over their life. You need control and a strong sense of self in order to successfully gift that to another. By the end he’d lost that, the disease was taking over and he could no longer give away power. His body and its sickness had already stolen it.

The movie is available on DVD from amazon. You can read Roger Ebert’s review of it here.

Update: Scott of Mrs Kelly’s Playhouse was actually friends with Bob in the early 90’s. He’s left a lengthy comment on this post describing some of his memories of Bob. My thanks to Scott for that additional information.