Lovely Lurker Love

I recently discovered that today is the sixth annual love our lurkers day. There’s an official logo and everything.

I’m not a huge fan of the expression ‘lurker’. It suggests someone with a slightly nefarious purpose. However, I do appreciate the sentiment behind the love our lurkers day. It’s a cheezy thing to say but without you wonderful people this blog wouldn’t exist. Everyday I get a few comments, often from other people with blogs of their own. But everyday I also get thousands of visitors coming by to take a look at whatever random rubbish happened to make it from my brain into a post. And I guess to check out some new hot femdom images. That also probably plays a small role in my stats count.

I write this blog for a whole host of different reasons, but the main one is to share stuff I like. I wouldn’t keep doing it without that. So here’s to all the readers and lurkers out there who come here to share it with me. Thanks for dropping by.

If you ever thought about leaving a comment, this would be a great time to do it! Maybe just a mention of where you’re from, or what you’re into, or even what you’d like to see more/less of here. I’d love to hear from you. The comment system asks for a name/email/website, but you only need the first two. Also the email isn’t published and doesn’t even have to be a genuine email address.

In the meantime here’s a lovely young lady sharing a little happiness with you all. And as a special extra, just to celebrate the lurkers, here’s a bonus image for the male submissives and a bonus image for the female dommes.

Happy face sitterI found the above image on the Femdom Style Counsel tumblr site. The special bonus linked images came from the art or porn site and from the Dishevelled Domina tumblr site. I’ll leave figuring out which came from where as an exercise to the reader.

It was a dark and stormy night…

Thumper made a comment in a recent post that struck a chord with me.

It’s interesting to me that I can post pictures of my junk online but writing down my fantasies like this makes me feel more vulnerable and nervous. I guess that’s because it’s a peek into my head while all the HNT in the world doesn’t give you much more than a surface view.
Thumper

I’ve posted a fair number of onlink junks shots (purely as an educational resource of course), along with shots of naked me in sessions, but publishing my erotic fiction always creates a far greater feeling of vulnerability. Even commenting on my fantasies in blog posts, or saying what I like about certain images, seems far safer then crafting fictional porn. Of course there’s the natural fear of failure and ridicule that comes with any public creative endeavour. But on top of this I think erotic writing has its own particular issues.

For one thing, I give up any plausible deniability. A reposted image or a blog comment can easily be written off. I can just claim it was interesting rather than personally exciting, or I posted it because it was weird and made me laugh, or it raised important questions. There’s no chance of that with a carefully crafted ten thousand word short story. Everyone knows I spent hours writing, editing and proof-reading it. Every paragraph is there because I want it there. It’s impossible to distance myself from the ideas it contains.

Writing also gives immense power. Photographs of me in a session are constrained by physical, legal and moral laws. I know I’m publishing something that thousands of people have described and attested to before me. There’s safety in those numbers. As a writer I stand alone. I don’t have to limit myself to any particular physical or moral constraints. I can create something uniquely depraved if I wish, and I’ll have no one to share the stage or the blame with.

Finally, I think there’s often an implicit chain of reasoning that runs as follows. An erotic story is designed to excite and arouse people. The author based their ideas on what excited him or her. People like to do what excites them. Therefore the author wants to do whatever is written in the story. Nobody thinks Stephen King wants to dress up as a clown and lurk in sewers threatening children. Or that he’d really enjoy going insane in a deserted hotel. But throw a sex scene into a book and it’s impossible not to start wondering what it reflects about the author and their particular sexual quirks. Where do they draw the lines between their achievable, unachievable and undesirable fantasys?

Some of the things I’ve written or enjoyed reading would be truly horrendous in real life. In some cases I wouldn’t even want to see them filmed or photographed Hollywood (i.e. fake) style. They work in the abstract. They distill out the nasty underlying emotions into sexual heroin for my reptilian id. They’re like a sexual horror movie, drawing on primitive responses to short circuit the intellectual bit of my brain.

There’s really no blog post or picture I’ve published that I look back on and regret. I can’t say all of them were successful, but there’s none I sometimes wish I could take back. I’m not sure I could honestly say the same thing for the very limited amount of fiction I’ve written.

I’m afraid I can’t think of any particularly appropriate image that would go along with this post, so here’s a very attractive lady in latex. You’re welcome.

Woman in latex catsuitI found this on the Stuff I Like tumblr site.

Swapping spit (one-way only)

This is the last of a progressive trio of posts going from gags, to gags with fluids, to just fluids alone.

I always find drool and saliva play interesting from a personal perspective (I enjoy it) and from the contradictory reactions it provokes. I suspect if you showed these images to a non-kinky person (unfortunately I don’t have one handy to test) their reaction would be one of ‘Ugh. Nasty. She’s spitting in his mouth.’ And spitting does indeed have a very negative connotation. Yet a normal part of making out and kissing involves sharing saliva, albeit as a side effect rather the main event. There’s even a slang expression for kissing that explicitly calls it out – swapping spit. So a sloppy kiss is fine, but separate the mouths by a few inches and suddenly the same liquid is yucky. It seems that just introducing a slight suggestion of spitting or drooling dramatically changes the dynamic of the act.

I’d guess that evolution has programmed us with an innate aversion to something spat out by someone else. It suggests a nasty taste or rottenness, something unhealthy. Most guys aren’t going to have an issue making out with a random cute girl they meet in a bar. But have the same cute girl spit in their drink and they’ll be very unhappy, even though there’s really no difference from a hygiene perspective. Of course from a kinky perspective, any activity that invokes a strong emotional reaction is going to be an interesting one play with. Particularly when it centers around issues such as trust, intimacy, disgust and social taboos.

Mistress drooling into slaves mouthMistress drooling into slaves mouth

Straddling the toilet

Yesterdays post on gags and forced consumption put me on the hunt for similar material. Here’s a nice shot featuring a whitehead gag, along with a leash and some painful looking nipple clamps. While he’s no doubt aware of what’s about to happen, the blindfold adds that little element of suspense.

I have to admit that while this looks kind of fun, I personally prefer a more controlled and close-up approach. I think some submissives get off on the idea of being pissed on, where some consumption may also happen. It’s more of a humiliation vibe for them. For others the consumption is the key act, and being liberally sprayed from a distance almost feels like a waste. That’s more a worship approach. I’m definitely in the latter camp. I don’t find being pissed on particularly humiliating, it’s just wet messy fun. Where controlled consumption has a strong D/s dynamic for me.

Of course I could be doing the mistress in this shot a huge disservice. Maybe she has really excellent aim from a standing position.

Mistress straddling gagged manI found this on the Femdom Marriage tumblr site. It’s originally from the Femme Fatale Films site.

Mmmph! Mmmph!

Mistress Troy Orleans has a new blog post up about gags, with a long list of gag types and a nice picture of some of the examples in her collection. The part of her post I particularly liked was this section.

Open mouth gags, such as my preferred variety, the Spider Gag, are my favorite of all gags (piss friendly gags a close, and similar, second) because usually when someone’s gagged, he’s also pretty strictly bound, and that makes me drool and where better for it to go than his mouth? (Not that deposited fluids are at all limited to spit. Or mine.). Another plus for me with the Spider Gag is hearing his teeth click against the metal. It just sounds really uncomfortable and unpleasant there’s something so hot to me about a guy enduring not-sexy pain for my pleasure.
Mistress Troy Orleans

That kind of forced consumption is always a major kink of mine. It manages to be both very personal and objectifying all at the same time. Plus, there’s something equally hot about a woman enjoying my suffering of non-sexy pain. Of course if I’m enjoying it, albeit by proxy, doesn’t that make it sexy pain? I guess that’s the eternal conundrum of the masochist sadist relationship.

When it comes to doling out non-sexy pain my mind immediately went to dental scenarios. Here’s an interesting looking gag, a well stretched tongue and a devilish glint in a dentists eye. Maybe I’m just not trusting enough, but I’m not entirely sure she’s been board certified.

Femdom DentistThe logo on the image is for the serious bondage site, but I believe the domme is Alice and it’s from her BondageLand site.

The meaning of life

This image made me smile. I don’t find it particularly erotic. It’s a little too surreal and impersonal for that. But it did put me in mind of a Monty Python sketch in the movie the Meaning of Life. It features a man who gets to choose the method of his execution and well, you can see what he picks in this clip. It’s not the funniest sketch in the movie (that would be this musical number), but if you were going to re-shoot it for the male submissive this looks like it’d be a great cast to use.

Squadron of asian girls in leatherI found this on the Bits and Pieces tumblr site.

Site Updates

I’ve added two new blogs to the Femdom Art section of the blogroll over on the right. They are Otto’s Femdom Spanking Art and Banjo’s BBS. My thanks to Underling’s recent post for pointing me at them.

On the Femdom Fiction page I’ve added a link to the stories section at askjolene.com. The site doesn’t provide great tools for tracking down femdom stories specifically, but it has got a lot of searchable BDSM and kinky material that can be fun to query into.

Finally I’ve added a number of new tumblr blog links to the Femdom Image page. There are:

The image below was posted both to Femdom Empire and Blackpantyhose. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on but it made me smile. There’s the forceful and slightly angry looking mistress. There’s the cowed and woebegone looking submissives. And then there’s the cocks, in a little world of their own, standing proudly to attention, or at least flying at half-mast. It makes for an amusing contrast. For a man there’s always big brain and little brain, and they’re frequently not on the same page.

Mistress with subdued slaves

A hint of vanilla revisited

This is a follow-up post to this earlier one. I received several lengthy comments, including a response from Mistress Rex which she re-posted to her blog. I started to write a detailed comment as a reply, but decided it’d be easier to simply create a new post. Apologies to those people who weren’t particularly interested in the original discussion to start with. I promise to include an attractive picture at the end by way of compensation.

I want to start with the ‘my way or the highway’ aspect.

Pro Dommes who state from the get-go what is expected in communication – whether it’s as simple as how she is addressed to the more complicated issues of capitalization – it is entirely in her right and reason to do so…
…if it bothers you, find someone else.
Mistress Rex

I think that’s simultaneously true and also irrelevant to the discussion. It’s an argument that taken to its logical extreme would mean never writing about negotiation and interaction with pro-dommes, because the answer can always be “If you don’t like it go elsewhere.” Obviously what I’m writing about here are my personal feelings and expectations. The kind of interaction that I find meaningful and reasonable. I’ve certainly voted with my feet in the past and no doubt will do so again in future. This discussion is about some of the things that might cause me (and other submissives) to do that.

I should also add that I’m not talking about the kind of rules that are necessary for the smooth running of a business. Only calling between certain hours, requiring a reference or deposit, meeting in a neutral space for the first time, etc. These all are sensible operating parameters, and don’t imply anything about the D/s dynamic.

The issue for me is related to the sentiment that coined the expression “I may be a submissive, but I’m not your submissive.” This expression often crops up in the context of social gatherings, where it’s important to emphasize that submission to one dominant does not imply submission to all. For me that same idea can also be applied temporally. Just because I will submit in a session doesn’t automatically imply I should be submissive and deferential outside it.

It is unclear to me if the comments here are in objection to inequality wholesale, or if the men here feel more simply that the demands from these ProDommes were displaced via the lack of personalized attention toward the defining of a unequal power exchange.
Mistress Rex

I’d say my objection is to an assumption of inequality without negotiation or agreement. Refinement and evolution of roles is always going to happen as a relationship (professional or otherwise) develops. But I start from a position of equality. I think it’d be presumptuous of either party to assume otherwise. I might be a submissive, but I’m not her submissive until we agree that. Anyone insisting on lower casing my name and pronouns before they’ve even met me, simply strikes me as insecure. And insisting slaves email multiple times to get a response doesn’t put me into a suitably submissive mindset. It just makes me think that the mistress is crap at running her business.

I’ll also add that there was one comment I saw which, in contrast to Mistress Rex’s thoughtful words, struck me as fairly daft.

When men pay, they feel like they have license to top from the bottom.

Firstly, that’s a ridiculously sweeping generalization. And secondly, it misses the point of this discussion, which is about what goes on outside of negotiated play.

That’s probably enough of my random ramblings. As promised here’s an attractive and entirely unrelated picture to finish the post. It’s not really femdom material, but I saw it on Erotic Haecceities and thought she was adorably cute.

Cute redhead with tatoos

Some times its a discomfort within the ass

I get a lot of random spam posted to the comments on this blog. They are mostly useless rubbish, but occasionally the odd one makes me smile. I was particularly impressed with a recent example that claimed I’d been specially chosen and that I just need to fill in a form to make the link from their junky random page permanent. It takes a special kind of nerve to turn a bogus link from a spam farm into some sort of prize.

However, the one I came across today takes the comedic prize. Bad translations are rife, with many channeling the spirit of 1980’s Japanese electronics manuals, but this one managed to get lucky and almost match my blog content.

Some times its a discomfort within the ass to read what weblog owners wrote but this internet web site is actually user genial !

I’m flattered that they think I’m user genial. While a discomfort within the ass sounds painful, in the right hands it can be kind of fun. For example, I give you the following two images.

PeggingPegging

That looks like my kind of discomfort. The first one I found on Pegtastic tumblr site and the second on the Confession of a sex addict tumblr site.

Happy but not satisfied

She’s smiling and sitting back to watch, but something tells me this isn’t going to be the conclusion of the proceedings. It looks like she’s got him into a good position and is relaxing for a few minutes, enjoying his struggles as he vainly tries to find a comfortable position. Before too long I suspect that she’ll be looking to explore all the other tortuous options that this kind of vunerable position affords.

Smiling domme with restrained slaveI’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this. I found it on the Eager to Please tumblr site.