You and me babe, how about it?

This image is taken from a sequence titled ‘Backyard Love’ by the photographer Ville Varumo. That title makes me think of a pulpy porn novel set in the deep south of the US, with a cover featuring a busty blonde in daisy dukes. Instead it’s actually based on the classic love story ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Or, if like me you tend to the cynical, the classic tale of two idiotic teenagers who would make fine candidates for a Darwin award.

Anyway, regardless of the source, I kind of like the image. Although I’m not sure I can put my finger on why. There’s a nice sense of balance and elegance to it. The wall and the blindfold actually makes me think of a firing squad, which isn’t sexy, but certainly adds an interesting edge to it. You can see the rest of the sequence at the homotography blog.

Oh, and ten bonus kinky points (zero monetary value, non-transferable, void where prohibited) to anyone who can name the link between this post and the title I gave it.

Backyard Love by Ville Varumo

Head back, ass down, smile for the camera

After yesterday’s lengthy post, this one will be short and sweet. Just a nice image of a normal everyday scene, with a woman taking her naked man for a ride.

Personally I’m not a fan of hair pulling. It’s not an easy pain to eroticize, and it puts me in mind of scrappy playground fights. But this looks kind of fun and it has certainly put a smile on her face.

Smiling woman riding a naked manI’m afraid I don’t know the original source for the image. I found it on the Luv Looking tumblr site.

Femdom is broken

At least it is according to this post by weezie over on the Not Just Bitchy blog.

Did we keep the receipt? I don’t remember filling out the warranty card. It’s probably lost in a kitchen drawer along with all my appliance instruction manuals. And what is the standard returns policy on a social/sexual/lifestyle orientation?

I actually have a great deal of sympathy for the underlying point of the post. I’d like to see more material focused on genuine emotional connections between people. Random fetish elements and kinky trappings alone do nothing for me. However, I think a good underlying point is lost in a huge overreach, with big generalizations that just don’t stand up.

You’d be hard pressed to find a single collection of images, interviews, articles, or books that doesn’t make the cock (artifical or otherwise) the central star of the story. When did everything become about dicks and not about d/s?

When I look around image blogs or interview sites or article collections I really don’t see a surfeit of cocks. If anything there’s a lack of male bodies and appendages. There are certainly a lot of dominant women (in a variety of attire) and a fair amount of traditional BDSM activities and toys, but I’m typically not having to wade through wall to wall cocks (if you’ll forgive the mental image). Sites like kink.com take a lot of criticism from some sections of the femdom blog community, but whatever their faults, I do think they’ve made a positive contribution by actually introducing more male bodies into their material. I remember the old days of kink porn (the late 80’s and early 90’s in my case), when it mostly consisted of naked tied up women or annoyed looking dommes in leather outfits. Sites like leda showing ‘genuine’ M/f or F/m interaction were the exception, not the rule.

I think we can all agree that FemDom porn is particularly terrible.

Really? All of us? I don’t want to be out on my lonesome here, but…ahem….raises hand. Firstly – particularly terrible? That suggests that within the porn genre itself, the femdom segment is particularly egregious. I’ve argued in the past that femdom porn is actually one of the more authentic genres. It at least sometimes represents how some people in the community play in their leisure time when the camera’s aren’t rolling. Would anyone argue that other well known porn segments (lesbian, milf, teen, racial, ts, etc.) are in some way better or more authentic? And secondly, what absolute standard are we holding femdom porn up to? Thanks to the internet it’s certainly better now than it has been at anytime in the past. So what’s the comparison point? I’d agree there’s a lot of crap out there, and a lot of viewpoints are under-represented, but that’s not quite the same as saying it’s particularly terrible.

I think the argument goes something like this: If a submissive is willing to take a dozen lashings, or engage in CBT, or even go into an orgasm-denial full-time-relationship, that “proves” the submissive loves his partner and is willing to devote his body and life to her.

News flash: HE PROBABLY LIKES THOSE THINGS. See that stiff cock in all of those circumstances?? Do Dominants really truly believe it’s all about them and not about his dick? Does he cuddle? Does he nuzzle their neck without prompting?

It was this section in the original article that really triggered this post, as I found it very puzzling. Obviously any submissive engaging in corporal or CBT enjoys it at some level. That’s why he (or she) does it. Similarly, a service submissive gets satisfaction from cleaning or cooking or whatever service is required. And somebody who cuddles or nuzzles their partner is doing it for the emotional and physical closeness it brings. We enter into relationships for what we think we’ll get out of them. That’s true whether it’s D/s or vanilla, gay or straight, romantic or platonic. The trick of course if finding someone with complimentary needs.

There seems to a presumption in the original article that because CBT might be physically satisfying to the submissive that somehow makes it invalid as femdom. Well here’s a new flash in return – sadists actually like hurting people. When I’m doing CBT, or any kind of intense masochistic activity, I’m not only enjoying the power exchange and the physical sensation, I’m also enjoying the pleasure my partner takes in it. I’d hate to play with someone who was bored or annoyed. The goal is mutual satisfaction, in whatever weird and wonderful forms that may take for both parties. Just because the submissive enjoys it doesn’t somehow make it ‘topping from the bottom’.

As I said at the start, I actually kind of agree with where weezie is coming from. There are many facets to femdom, and most of them are very badly represented in our culture. But I tend to get frustrated when I see ‘My preference isn’t represented’ stretched into ‘and your preference is wrong’.

I was tempted to illustrate this post with a big close-up of a wax spattered cock. But instead I’ll go in a different direction, and try something explicit and yet intimate. This is from the musing and muses tumblr site.

Intimate moment in bath

Would a rose by any other name…

…still hurt as much when shoved into my asshole?

Yes, I know, I bastardized the original phrasing. Despite the common usage, there was no ‘would’ in the original Shakespeare’s line. But it was too hard to resist given this first image.

When I first saw this (on snail meilk) I thought it was fairly unique. After all, how often do flowers feature in a BDSM scene? Forniphilia might be fairly common, but it’s not often you see a human vase. Or at least I didn’t think so until I stumbled across the second image on the Willing Submissive tumblr site. Clearly having a functional but decorative slave is more appealing than I originally suspected.

Slave suspended as rose vaseHuman Vase

Site Updates

I’ve added four new blogs to my blogroll: Tales of a Domme by Dishevelled Domina, The Edge of Vanilla by Tom Allen, Delving into Deviance by Dev and She Rules the Rooster by lovetosubmit. Regular readers may remember the first three of these blogs being referenced in an earlier post discussing the devaluation of submissive men.

I’ve also added five new tumblr sites to my image page: Domenique von Sternenberg, Domme and Pet in Love, Femdom Marriage, Yes Mistress (aka dominance and submission) and Intellectually Frustrated (aka Mistress A).

To complement this update, and in the manner of a fine dining restaurant, I thought I’d offer up a duo of femdom images. On the top we have a classical presentation, eschewing fetish ingredients in favor of a traditional composition with a hairbrush, short skirt and stern look. It was sourced originally from Strict Miss and arrives on our menu via Femdom Marriage. In contrast below that we have a very different approach, packed with strong femdom flavors and layered with many rich fetish textures. It finds itself on the menu courtesy of Mistress Domenique von Sternenberg.

Mistress with hairbrushMistress in latex and slave with gas mask

Not a happy bunny

Welcome to another entry into my occasional and irregular series of posts featuring slaves with unhappy but entertaining (to me at least) expressions. I like the contrast between her calm and faintly amused expression, and his disgruntled glare. Perhaps he neglected to read the fine print on the contract for this particular modelling assignment? As one of my families expression would have it – he’s definitely not a happy bunny.

Unhappy SlaveI found this on the Femdom Marriage tumblr site. It’s originally from the Russian Mistress site.

It’s the little things…

…that make a great photograph. In this case it’s her stretching motion and the associated facial expression as she reaches up to beat his feet. There’s plenty of restrained naked man that’s within easy reach. But she’s not simply waving the strap around, hitting whatever is in range while the photographer clicks off shots. She’s a mistress with a mission. She wants to inflict a particular type of pain, and she’s not going to let a simple matter of height or reach get in the way of that. That simple stretch conveys so much more about the scene we’re witnessing than all the other fetish elements.

Suspended SlaveI found this on the dominance and submission tumblr site. It’s obviously originally from the men in pain site.

Kinky Catwoman continued

Yesterday’s post got a couple of follow-up comments on the snarling sexiness that was Julie Newmar’s Catwoman. lovetosubmit commented about her taunting Batman when she had him in a compromising position, and that certainly struck a chord with me. As a youngster I can remember being transfixed by scenes of her tieing up Batman, long before I knew what femdom, kink or even sex was. So for all the other fans out there of Ms Newmar’s catty glory, here’s her another shot of her, this time taunting the helpless Adam West.

Julie Newmar's Catwoman taunting Adam West's Batman

How I likes em, how I keeps em.

I think this is a fascinating picture. It doesn’t press significant buttons in my sexual id, but it definitely appeals on an aesthetic and super-ego level (to temporarily continue the Freud theme). The coloration is really interesting, with the silver bodies, minimal but coordinated clothing and the mottled metallic background. There’s also a nice sense of geometry and balanced tension to it, with the silver blood puddle adding just a touch of organic messiness. It has a little bit of rodeo theme, but with the cowboy being the one to be run down and hog tied.

The post title is actually the title the female model gave to the piece. She has a deviant art site under the name slinkapics,, which is where this was originally posted. The photographer is Geoff Simpson.

How I likes em, how I keeps em.I found the image originally on snail meilke, and used tineye to track down the original. I’m not sure if Depo Guto from snail meilke reads this blog (some of the cross-posts makes me think he might), but if he does I just want to say thanks for all the images he’s posted there. He’s a great locator and distributor of interesting femdom images, and I certainly appreciate all his work.

Scenic viewpoint, next exit.

I was browsing Mistress A’s rather interesting tumblr site, when this particular image stopped me dead in my browsing tracks. Not because it’s a particularly amazingly hot image, although I do like it in a general sense. But because it’s exactly the view I had of proceedings on Friday night. I was a little distracted at the time by a metal sound that was being periodically inserted and removed. Plus, a TENS unit that was delivering shocks via the sound and some conductive pads stuck to my balls. There were also some nipple clamps involved somewhere. Oh, and a bunch of rope bondage as well. But when I did manage to grab some moments to focus on the world around me, this was the exact view I was admiring.

I was a little into subspace, which makes it kind of hard to form coherent thoughts. There were also a fair few painful things happening, which doesn’t help the intellectual process. Despite that, I do remember thinking “I’m the luckiest man in the world. There is nowhere else I’d rather be right now.” The whole scene gave me a sense of happiness and well being that stayed with me all through the next day. And just the act of typing this, and thinking back to that moment, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Corset View