Photograph – Page 222 – Femdom Resource

Inching to the edge

Mistress Rex isn’t the most prolific of writers on my blogroll, but when she does post it’s always interesting, thought provoking and highly literate. Her most recent post helped crystallize a number of thoughts I’d been mulling over recently. I suggest reading the whole thing, but I’ll just quote the section I particularly want to talk about.

I’d be bored out of my mind if I stayed within the parameters of what clients (or lovers) told me they think they want. It’s domination. It’s the thrill of control and power. It requires a degree of force and discomfort, a shifting of will. How do you know how much you can take if you’re not challenged? How do you know how much you can give if you’re unwilling to offer it?

Brock Lesner is an idiot, but he happened to deliver a beautiful concept (wherever he got it from) on national TV when he said that, “fights are won by inches.” Technique and skill can take you a long way, but it’s intensity that fills those inches – it’s knowing to keep going when you have your opponent hurt. It’s holding someone’s head under water despite their thrashing, because you know that panic is a moment too soon.

Mistress Rex from her post titled ‘Give Her an Inch and She’ll Walk All Over You‘

I’ve observed that being stressed and forced close to their thresholds of tolerance is a common desire amongst submissives. It’s certainly a desire I have in any session I do. No matter what the activity, I like to feel I’m being pushed and stretched in new ways. That I’m going to go further than I have in the past. I hate to stop an activity because it’s too intense for me (and I almost never do), but at the same time it’s never a completely satisfying session if we don’t briefly flirt with that possibility. It’s a very tricky line to walk.

The need to push for this intensity, to inch forward towards that threshold, is one that has bothered me a little. Am I just doing it for stupid macho-sub reasons? To prove that I can do it? And am I going to run out of inches one day? Find out that there is nowhere left to go and I’ve burnt out. Most other activities in life don’t require this kind of dynamic. I love fine dining and nice wine, but I don’t have a constant need to push my boundaries every time I eat in a restaurant. Why is my masochism and submission different?

I think Mistress Rex has helped me answer these questions. It’s about the shifting of will, the relinquishing of power. It’s only in those last few inches that dominance and control is absolutely demonstrated. What happens up to that point is just sensation. It might be interesting or pleasurable (in the masochistic sense) sensation, but it doesn’t cost the submissive anything until it approaches the edge. It’s the extraction of that payment where both the dominant and the submissive find the real satisfaction.

Mistress Rex’s comment about holding someone’s head under water made me initially think of this image, but I posted it because it represents a type of play that quickly pushes me close to some of my personal edges. I struggle with anything that closely covers my face, whether it’s a leather hood or a tub of water, so using this apparatus would be to extract a very high price from me.

The dominant is Isis Love in a Divine Bitches shoot.

Nervous Anticipation

This image caught my eye for the way it so beautifully switches the traditional roles around. His body language and expression suggest nervous excitement, a naked virgin awaiting his new experience. In contrast she’s controlling, predatory, seductive. Gently pressing him down as she kisses and licks his neck, sliding the tip of her tool along his back and into his crease. I hope she’s gentle with him on his first time.

I found this on the Am Bi Guosity tumblr site. There’s not a lot of femdom material there, but it might be interesting if you’re looking for ts girl, bisexual and ambiguous glamor shots.

The most controversial activity?

If I had to choose the most controversial and debate provoking femdom activity, I think it would come down to a run-off between scat play and forced bisexuality. I’ve posted about the former in the past and, after stumbling across the picture below, I thought it might now be time for a post on the latter.

I should be clear that the majority of my comments here relate to forced-bi in the context of pro-dommes, or casual play, rather than lifestyle relationships. I think the lifestyle dynamics are so complex and unique to each circumstance that it’s impossible to make the kind of sweeping generalities that I’m about to.

The first issue that arises for pro-dommes in this context is a legal one. If money is being exchanged for a man to be part of a scene and perform a sexual act then the domme opens herself up to prosecution under pimping and pandering laws. Those are charges that can carry very significant penalties.

Outside of the practical legal issues, I’ve also observed that some dommes have a more philosophical problem with this activity. The idea behind a forced-bi scene is that the submissive shouldn’t really enjoy it at the primary sexual level. He might get off on the idea pleasing his mistress, or with the power exchange involved, or the humiliation, but sexy fun isn’t supposed to be part of the plan. However, I’ve heard numerous dommes report that men use these kind of scenes as an excuse for doing something they secretly really want to do anyway. Five minutes into the scene and the domme is suddenly taking a backseat to the two guys getting it on. This not only undercuts the femdom ethos, it’s also manipulative and hypocritical, forcing a woman into a fake role because a man can’t admit his real desires. In fact it puts the domme firmly into the role of the pimp that the law would allege she is.

On the submissive side of the coin, forced-bi is one of the most polarizing activities in terms of the reaction it provokes. Typically when confronted with the idea of an undesirable activity, the standard male submissive response seems to be “Not really my thing, but whatever….” However, suggest forced-bi as the activity, and you’re likely to get a much more visceral and violent reaction from those not into it. For many men it is a fundamental hard limit that they dislike even talking about, let alone one that they are open to negotiating.

Personally, the idea forced-bi as it’s commonly portrayed (like the image below) doesn’t do a lot for me. This is not because I’m fundamentally opposed to the idea of another man in a scene with me. I think cuckolding scenarios can be hot, as can sissy play and gender switching. Even being topped by a dominant couple might be an interesting thing to try. But forced-bi as a kind of humiliation or punishment activity with another submissive somehow doesn’t really click with me as a femdom dynamic.

I’m afraid I don’t have an original source for this image. I found it on domme pics.

Please stand by…we’re experiencing technical difficulties…

The more eagle eyed of my regular readers may have spotted a lack of blogroll to the right. Unfortunately, after many months of successful and trouble free web serving, my hosting company appears to have encountered some gremlins. And then fed them after dark. And got them wet. I can only hope their data center isn’t currently hosting an extravagant musical number as I type.

To populate the blogroll I need to be able to pull in RSS feeds to read their latest posts. And right now the hosting service won’t let me make any outgoing connections. Hence, no blogroll. It’ll return just as soon as we figure out what’s going on.

In the meantime here’s a little glimpse of heaven by way of apology. It’s the very beautiful Justine Joli, photographed by Steve Diet Goedde.

Updated : Looks like the gremlins have been zapped and the service has returned to life. Normal blogroll service has been resumed and we apologize for the interruption.

Quirky

My recent posts on authenticity and smiling dommes seemed to attract a fair amount of positive feedback. This wasn’t really a surprise to me, as I’ve repeatedly seen a lot of negative comments from multiple sources on the snarling domme stereotype. That kind of classic shot still has its place, but it’s clearly no longer enough to simply curl a lip and wave a crop at the camera.

The image below was one I originally considered including as an example of a smiling mistress, but I decided in the end it was worth a separate post, as it’s more of an amused expression than an outright smile.

I think there’s a great dynamic here between the three people. The woman on the left appears to be giving directions. I can just image her saying “Go on, grind your heel hard into his nipple. Let’s see if you can make it bleed” The man appears to be a little perturbed by what he’s hearing, and is sitting up to plead his case. And the blonde with the quirky smile looks to be both amused and pleased with the suggestions. I expect her next words to be “You are evil! I love that idea. That’ll be horribly painful.”

I found this originally on Awesome Femdom, but it’s clearly originally from Strapon-Hell.

Smiles

My last post promoted a request for some happy dommes, so I had a hunt through my grab bag of collected images to see what I could find.

Personally I’m a big fan of being viciously attacked by a gleeful sadist. I suspect most non-kinky people assume that seeing a dominatrix involves lots of crawling around on the floor while she calls you a worthless dog who isn’t fit to lick her shoes. And that can be fun now and again. But the vast majority of my sessions feature laughter, jokes and a happy mistress. I find it much easier to make a connection and feel engaged with someone who appears to be enjoying our interaction. After all, if I’m going to give up my power to someone in a D/s sense, it’s nice to feel they appreciate the gift.

I found this first image on ‘The heart’s dark desire‘ tumblr site. I’m afraid I don’t know where it’s originally from. The second image is an old shot from the Young Goddess site.

The key ingredient for a perfect evening

Images of women teasing men in chastity are fairly common in femdom porn. There are a lot of keys twirled around and dangled in front of humiliated male faces. Suspending the key from a necklace is also a common theme. That not only turns the key of control into a decorative piece of jewelry, but also suspends it in a location that highlights the sexuality and beauty of the woman. So, apart from the attractive smile, this first image is nothing particularly exciting.

However, as the second image shows, Mistress Sophie Dee likes to do a little more than simply tease with a key. It seems our hero is perfectly placed (in an ingenious set of stocks) to watch her enjoy a particularly intimate encounter with another man. The rest of the evening then unfolds pretty much as you might expect.

I have to admit this is one of the occasional situations where I think “That’s really hot.” And then a few seconds later I think “How screwed up is it that I think this is really hot?”

Not, I hasten to add, that I have a problem with that kind of screwed up. I’m a kinky omnivore, and I’m happy to enjoy whatever seems interesting and exciting to my strange brain. But it does fascinate and puzzle me how my neural pathways ended up wired this particular way.

This sequence of images comes from the Divine Bitches site and features Mistress Sophie Dee. There’s a short free video clip from the session at this page, along with the opportunity to purchase the entire picture set and full length video.

A considerate mistress

I found this image on the Superior Women tumblr site accompanied by the following caption.

Remember to hold some in your mouth this time then the cigarette won’t burn you.

This struck me as deliciously evil, and I salute the imagination that came up with that caption. There’s the double degradation of being used as both a urinal and an ashtray, the potential pain of the burn and the predicament of holding the right amount of liquid (without spilling) to minimize it. Not to mention the nicely twisted psychology of the mistress showing concern whilst infliction the suffering. I always enjoy that particular blend of emotional sadism.

Of course if the slave get’s everything right, what’s the end result? A mouth awash in urine and cigarette butts. It’s a fantastically twisted scenario to make that the best case result.

Site Updates

I’ve made a number of updates to the site.

Over on the Femdom Image page I’ve added five new links: dommepics, Awesome Femdom, Erotic Haecceities, Her Dominion and Chastity Tigger. I also deleted a couple of sites that appeared to be dead.

On the Femdom Fiction page I added two new links. One to to Understories, a collection of BDSM themed stories, and one to the descriptively named Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive.

Finally, I’ve added a link to Mistress Milliscent’s blog over to the right on my pro-domme blogroll. She’s from the same part of the world I’m in (Seattle area), and writes on a wide variety of topics, not just the standard kink themes common on other pro-domme blogs.

Image is originally from Noemis World, but found on the humbly titled Awesome Femdom tumblr site. If you’re into feet or foot worship then you might like this particular tumblr, as its femdom material is heavily skewed in that direction.

Ouch and …. ouch

My earlier post on biting got my hunting for some related images, and here’s the result. I was writing earlier about the fine balance between sensuality and sadism that biting creates. I think this effect is even more magnified when it comes to biting on the cock or balls. It’s so close to a supremely pleasurable sexual act, but it’s also so easy to painfully bite down into that tender delicate flesh.

I actually had a third image to share, that I found on Wonton Art. It’s a piece of artwork, along the same lines as these two images. However, where I find these are erotic and sexy, the artwork is a little more disturbing. I therefore omitted from the front page. If you’re interested and feeling brave, it’s available here. It makes me wince, and I have a pretty high tolerance for these kind of things.