Tough Times

This is obviously a very difficult and challenging time for a lot of people. The coronavirus is shutting down a lot of the economy and ripping the heart out of big chunks of service industries. That includes professional domination and many other types of sex work. Whatever your local government ends up doing to help the economy, I think it’s a safe bet there will not be a big bailout package for sex workers.

Almost all the hot sexy content you enjoy online is created by sex workers. Blogs like this one certainly wouldn’t exist without them. So if your income is going to be relatively secure for the next few months, then I’d strongly urge you to do what you can to help. The good news is that there are a lot of ways you do that and also get exciting material to help pass the time in quarantine.

  • Buy clips from independent female creators. The iwantclips site and the clips4sale site have a ton of femdom content.
  • Join the fan sites of your favorite pro-dommes at places like AVN Stars, AdmireMeVIP and OnlyFans.
  • Buy online chat time and do virtual sessions using sites like sextpanther or niteflirt or whatever conferencing tool a particular domme prefers to use.
  • Order a custom clip. I’m sure that any pro-domme that normally offers this will currently have time on their hands to create more.

If you have a few favorite pro-dommes or sex workers, but aren’t sure how to get their content or help out, then go look them up on twitter. There will almost always be links to purchase content or information for scheduling online only sessions. Alternatively, just look through this site. I always try and provide the relevant content and site links for any pro-domme I feature here.

This is Lucy Sweetkill with Dia Dynasty. They’re both based in NYC, an area which seems about to get hit particularly hard by the virus. Domina Dynasty has an OnlyFans here, a niteflirt listing here and a sextpanther listing here.  Lucy Sweetkill has an OnlyFans here, a niteflirt listing here and sextpanther lising here. They’re both fabulous dommes who would be well worth spending time and money with.

His Expression

I post a lot of images because I like the domme’s expression, but this one is all about his expression. There’s a lot of emotion packed into that face. It’s a look of – “Oh, it’s going to hurt … but I trust you …  please don’t … please do … be kind … but hurt me.” I can relate to that look.

Her hand around his neck is also a very sexy touch. Intimacy but also a sense of control and ownership.

This is Aoi Musashi and  Mistress Natsukiss in image I found via this tweet.

Home Alone Again

I’m back in Seattle. Safe and sound, as far as I can tell. Several weeks of staying at home, cooking lots of food for myself and drinking wine lie ahead. So basically, business as usual. It was weird being on vacation and hearing from all my friends getting stressed about social isolation and quarantine in Seattle. It was like preparing for a particular race your whole life, and then discovering they decided to start it while you were out of town. The one time my normal introverted lifestyle would have been useful, and I was hanging out in airport departure lounges.

Before I left San Francisco I was fortunate enough to do a couple of great sessions with Penny Barber. I’ve written here in the past about my approach of doing a variety of different sessions when I travel, and this trip further proved the wisdom of that. Although the activities we explored were  ones I’ve done many times before, Penny’s style was very unique and fun, with a beautiful blend of sadism/sensuality, tease/denial and caring/cruelty. She did a wonderful job of pushing my buttons around kinky contrasts. Add in some excellently executed roleplay (or her part) and a well equipped playspace to explore it in, and you’ve got the recipe for a great way to spend an afternoon while the world outside falls apart.

One new experience for me was doing a golden shower in a full and warm bathtub. I’ve done plenty of showers on the floor of cold bathrooms and empty tubs, but none where I’m lying back and relaxing in the warmth of a proper bath. It’s actually a brilliant approach by Penny. Golden showers might start off as hot (all in senses of the word), but quickly get very chilly and damp. Doing it in a hot bath totally solves that problem. Plus, cleaning up afterwards is quick and easy . Genius!

This rather stunning selfie was taken by Penny just before our first session together and posted to her twitter feed. If you’re interested in doing in person sessions with her, then this is her professional site.

Penny also creates a lot of movies with some pretty kinky and taboo themes (e.g. ageplay, incest, ABDL, mommy domme, etc.) . If that sounds like you’re kind of thing, then she has a clips store here, an OnlyFans site here and a media site here. Or just follow her twitter feed, which feature links to a lot of her content.

Hanging on the Telephone

Here’s a final post in my short series on making connections with pro-dommes in the pre-internet era. This is a photograph of what I’m sure was the expectation/hope in every submissive’s mind when he plucked a card from a phonebox and got up the nerve to dial (quite literally) the number. A fabulous domme clad in full fetish gear, whip in hand, just waiting for his call. That’s very different to today of course, where the submissive assumes the domme will be checking her email, while clad in full fetish gear, whip in hand, just waiting for his message.

I’m afraid I don’t have any background on the image. I found it via this tweet by mrunderheel. I’d guess it’s from the late 70’s or early 80’s.

Phonebox Cards

Finding a pro-domme in the pre-internet days was a little trickier than doing a simple web search or browsing twitter. Advertising options were a lot more limited and everybody had to work harder to make contact. In London through the 80’s and 90’s, one common mechanism was to put advertising cards in phoneboxes. The image below is a collection of these cards from Mistress Electra Amore. They’re clearly from a mid to late 90’s era, as a few do have web site addresses on them.

If I’d been brave enough to go looking for someone back in my early 20’s then Mistress Cleopatra (or Cleo-Patra?) would certainly have caught my eye. Of course a blurry photograph on a small card is no guarantee of who you were eventually going to meet. These days most pro-dommes have dozens of professionally taken photographs on their sites, along with social media feeds packed with selfies and candid shots. I almost never hear of bait and switch tactics being employed. I’d guess they were a lot more common 20 or 30 years ago.

Predicaments with Domina Yuki

My San Francisco trip got off to a great start with two sessions on consecutive days with Domina Yuki. I normally leave at least one clear day between sessions to recover,  but having them close together like this actually worked out pretty well. They flowed more naturally together and it was easy and quick to get back into the zone. Much predicament play was involved, which is always a specialty of Domina Yuki’s.

One set-up is shown in shown in these top view and side view shots. You can see a series of cords attaching my toes and my clamped balls and nipples to the overhead hanging rod. The little black box is an e-stim device, wired to the base of my cock and set to trigger on any sound. So movement of the feet or body creates painful tugs on the clamps, which makes me moan, which triggers painful shocks, which makes me wriggle and move even more. Of course, if there’s a devious domme in the room, she might decide that the whole set-up could be much improved by clapping loudly or pinwheeling the feet.

We also did a standing set-up, that’s shown in this image. It’s less complicated but no less devious in its own way. Those white plastic medical clamps are pinching the skin closed over the head of the cock, and are exceedingly tight and painful. That configuration becomes incredibly more painful in any state of arousal. The kind of thing that might happen, for example, if a sexy domme were to caress a nipple and whisper naughty thoughts into an ear. Luckily, should such as state of affairs come to pass, she can always resolve the problem by carefully beating the errant member down with a light flogger.

One of the more unusual configurations I got to enjoy was being fastened down and spread out on a tiled floor using heavy suction cups as tie points. I’ve never seen this done before and it’s a really great idea, as you can put the anchor points anywhere. It allows for interesting asymmetrical bondage positions and a quick way to make adjustments. It also gave me an amazing viewpoint as Domina Yuki walked around me and over me, dragging her heels across my chest or poking into my delicate parts. The low shot looking up at a looming domme is a classic/cliche of femdom porn, yet in my experience it’s actually kind of rare in play. I’m often lying on a table or standing at a wall so don’t get that angle. Even when kneeling on the floor I’m typically looking down rather than up. It was a very pleasant change to both be low down and have the opportunity to look up at the domme as she stood over me and tortured me.

This shot wasn’t quite the angle I had, but it’s still a very striking one. The image is from Domina Yuki’s professional site. If you’re in the Bay area then she’s an amazing person to session with. If that’s not possible, then you can follow her AVN Stars feed here or her Twitter feed here.

Is that a Load Bearing Sub?

I don’t normally like to feature images with big watermarks across the middle of them. However, I’m going to make an exception in this case, because the bondage is just so cool. I’m not exactly sure how it was achieved, but I’d love to try it out. It’s dramatic, aesthetically pleasing and hot in its level of objectification.

This is very clearly by Mistress Chiaki  found via this tweet.

Stupid Dick

I have to admit that yesterday’s post ‘The Bug‘ was written from a personal perspective. I’m currently down in San Francisco enjoying some kinky fun. It was a trip I arranged in January, before the extent of the COVID-19 issue in the US was clear. I debated cancelling it, but I figured if I take proper precautions then staying on my own in a hotel room was really no different to staying on my own in my condo. So here I am, with very chapped and dried hands from the frequent washing.

I was very happy to start my trip by meeting up with Domina Yuki.  She’s an amazing domme who I’ve known for years and is always the first person I reach out to when returning to the Bay area. We had a fabulous session, with much tease, torment and predicament play. A couple of photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share those in a future post.

One particularly interesting moment in the session occurred when we were playing with a Kali’s teeth device. I’ve experienced these devices before, although this one was narrower and tighter than I’m used to. The typical reaction to them goes in a cycle. They don’t hurt going on, but arousal leads to pain. That’s a hot thing for a masochist, so the excitement increases in a feedback loop until the pain peaks and becomes too much. That diminishes arousal, putting me into a slowly cycling equilibrium. Stimulus balances against pain, with the domme tilting the balance as she sees fit.

What was strange today is that we hit that hit that tipping point of pain, and my stupid dick just kept on going (and growing). It was like a chain reaction that was out of control. My brain was at the point of “OK. That really hurts. Not so hot anymore” and the dick was “Nu-huh. We’re keeping this party going.” It was genuinely weird. I’ve made plenty of jokes in the past about my dick having a mind of its own, but this was the first time it actually felt like that. It was also the first time I’ve actively tried to think unsexy thoughts during a session, which is frankly quite the challenge when Domina Yuki is in the same room.

This image of Domina Yuki from her website should give some idea of the challenge involved of unsexy thoughts when doing a session with her. You can follow her here on twitter or enjoy exclusive content via her AVN stars feed.

The Bug

The big news story of the day is the new strain of coronavirus that has been spreading around the world. With people dying and the economy tanking, it seems somewhat silly to talk about its affect on kink and sex. However, those are the primary subjects of this blog and you get what you pay for, so here we go.

The key question for anyone with either casual play partners or when doing professional sessions is: What level of precaution makes sense? Do you keep going as normal? Stop until we’re told the pandemic has passed? Only do scenes involving full body prophylactics or bullwhips with a reach of longer than 6 feet?

It gets even more complicated for pro-dommes and other sex workers. On one hand getting sick from close interaction is a major risk. On the other, a stream of cancellations and clients being afraid to book means no income. I’ve already seen a lot of social media commentary on this, with a wide variety of emphasis on risk avoidance versus lost opportunities. Some professionals are temporarily relaxing their cancellation penalties to discourage playing while sick. I even saw one suggestion of only seeing clients from certain ‘safe’ areas, both to reduce risk and to reassure clients from those areas that sessions would be low risk.

For those without specific government rules around quarantine, I think everyone has to draw their own lines in the sand. Guidance around washing hands and not touching your face aren’t much help when it comes to deciding on the safety of say genital torture versus smothering. Although I would love to have the Surgeon Generals opinion on that.

The one piece of advice I’d give would be to be as transparent as possible with your play partners. Consent is about making an informed decision, and information is obviously a very necessary part of that. If I have any minor thing pop up in the days before I play, I’ll always email my prospective play partner to let them know. That gives them plenty of time to assess the risk and decide if they want to cancel, reschedule or wait to see how it develops. If I end up too sick to play, they at least they got an early heads-up. Obviously nobody should ever be playing with others if they think they have the new strain of coronavirus, but for other bugs I’ve been surprised at the variety of reactions. Some pro-dommes are OK as long as I can stagger to their playspace, where others have strict rules around staying away until fully healthy.

So share your health information and share it early. If it’s a regular seasonal cold then both parties need to make an informed decision. If it might be COVID-19 then get tested and stay in quarantine if necessary.

This medical themed image is from Domina Contessa Cara. She is based in Essen and her professional site is available here.

Rebecca Ferguson

A final image in my sequence of posts featuring smartly dressed people. The image below is Rebecca Ferguson from the Mission Impossible movie Rogue Nation. I’ve not actually seen the movie, but now I kind of want to. I was very tempted to feature this alternative shot of her beating people up while Tom Cruise is tied up. That looks like a fun scene.

I’ve done plenty of scenes with very smartly dressed dommes, but I don’t think I’ve ever done one with the domme in a suit and a tie. I might have to add that to my bucket list. It’s one of those looks that provokes an anticipatory shiver.