Tag: Photograph

Centerpiece

We’re heading into the festive season. A time where friends and family gather to celebrate and share food.  For anyone hosting such an event and looking for ideas for a table centerpiece, can I suggest a naked man with candles and rope? Admittedly, he will take up a lot of table space. Wriggling due to hot wax may also be a problem. On the plus side, what a fabulous talking point! Much better than politics or listening to boomers complaining about the young people today. I can imagine several of my more senior female relatives getting a total kick out of this.

This image comes courtesy of Michelle Lacy of Order Of Indomitus. She’s a South Florida based pro-domme and her professional site is accessible here.

Problem Solver

A few posts back I wrote that “…watching dommes creatively problem solve and experiment on me in realtime is hot AF.” Thanks to a recent blog post by Bastienne Cross, I’d also now add that reading about them doing kinky problem solving to craft compelling sessions is also pretty damn hot.

Before I go further and actually provide the post link, I should add that the kinky session in question is a full toilet one. There’s no explicit detail or pictures, but if the very thought of that squicks you out, then it’s probably best avoided. For everyone else, the post in question is here. It provides the backstory to the unusual toilet design that I featured in this previous post. I’m guessing the ‘Panda’ of the original scene is also who commented on that post.

I never thought I’d find myself impressed by someone coming up with creative and thoughtful ways to literally crap on people, but here we are. Life can lead you in odd directions at times.

This is the creative domme in question – Toronto based Bastienne Cross. Should scat play not be your thing, she has a pretty wide variety of other interests.

On the Steps at Night

Right now I should be somewhere warm and sunny relaxing with friends. I’d planned a non-kinky but fun getaway for a few days post Thanksgiving. Unfortunately I’ve been hit by one of the seasonal viruses that love to show up this time of year. So I figured I’d rather be miserable at home than miserable travelling. Bleah!

While I head off to crawl under a duvet, I’ll leave you with a totally random image to enjoy. This is pretty much the opposite of warm and sunny and has zero to do with seasonal bugs. I just spotted it via this tweet and loved the atmosphere of the shot. I believe that’s Mistress Niko Flux and Mistress Sybil Fury, both pro-dommes based out of NYC.

The image was posted by Kareem Montes, who I assume is the photographer.  You can see more great work from her via her instagram.

Command and Control

A few week ago Mistress Troy Orleans posted an interesting twitter thread on her approach to play and the difficulty of finding appropriate labels for it. I liked a lot of things about, particularly this sexy as hell digression, but I wanted to pick up on the following section in particular…

During a scene, I’m undeniably in control, but if something’s not working, I’ll adjust. My ego’s not attached to the action.

I think that’s an important point for people on both sides of the D/s equation. BDSM is complicated, particularly when doing heavy bondage or intense play. No matter how skilled the participants are – and Troy Orleans is very highly skilled – not everything will work out exactly as expected.

I’ve played with a small number of dommes who did tend to get frustrated or annoyed when a particular setup wasn’t working out as they’d imagined. Those were typically one off visits, because that reaction really kills the dynamic for me. I’m looking for someone in control, which means of themselves as well as of me. Control is about remaining in command of the situation when things don’t work, not trying to make the impossible possible. Plus, watching dommes creatively problem solve and experiment on me in realtime is hot AF.

On the flipside of the coin, from the submissive perspective, I think there can be a danger of treating play as a form of theater, with the domme as the actor and the submissive as both audience and props. That feeds into the bad idea of a scene as crafted narrative that needs to be executed for it to be successful. In reality it’s a highly collaborative process, where the end goal is a creation of a particular energy. Adjusting to something not work out should be viewed as part of building that energy, not a failure of the process. Variation and adaption are what make each experience unique.

Here’s a shot from Mistress Troy Orlean’s twitter feed of a man under her very tight control. You can see more media from her via her OnlyFans.

Self-Improvement

I’m starting on my New Year’s resolutions early this year by ordering myself a tight neoprene hood from Mr S Leather. Admittedly, buying fetish gear sounds more like kinky fun times than self-improvement, but there is method to my madness.

Regular blog readers may be aware that I have an issue with hoods. They stress me the hell out. A fact which I find annoying. Anytime I don’t like something it annoys me. I feel like I’m missing out. Hoods tend to be a big part of heavy bondage and I’d love to be able to incorporate them into my scenes. I totally understand both their aesthetic and sensory value, but so far that knowledge hasn’t helped when it comes to my stress levels.

My brilliant plan for 2020 is therefore to buy one for home and wear it in non-stressful situations. Like while washing up or doing food preparation. If I can train my brain to realize that wearing a hood doesn’t equal instant death by suffocation, then perhaps I can start to use them in scenes. I know of at least a couple of dommes who’d love to get me into their hood collection. In the meantime, if any of my Seattle readers spot a strange hooded man through the windows of a condo building, then rest easy. It’s just your friendly neighborhood femdom blogger trying to improve his kinky life skills. I shall keep you all up to date on how my experiment goes.

This is exactly the kind of fun hood I hope to condition myself to handle. Sadly I don’t have an attribution for it. As ever, if you know the source for this image, then please leave me a comment.

Adjusting His Level

Here’s a somewhat unusual way to do foot worship. I can’t tell if it’s clever or really lazy. I think I’m going to work on the assumption that it’s a hello or goodbye moment, and so he’s paused briefly on the stairs to mark that. Not that he’s been standing halfway up his staircase for the last 20 minutes because he can’t be bothered to kneel down. I certainly can’t imagine that the white wood railing is doing much to improve the kinky mood.

I’m afraid I don’t have an attribution for this image.

The Joy of Slaves

Dommes have it easy. For most people getting a clean glass is a major challenge involving dishwashers. Not so for your average domme. She just has to pull on some tight, impractical and possibly chilly fetish wear. Then she whistles up her nearest naked slave and stands over him during the cleaning process to ensure he does it properly. A well practiced disdainful look can be helpful at this stage. Possibly he might screw-up on purpose to get a beating. Possibly he might decide halfway through that this isn’t his kind of scene and he wants to re-negotiate it. But, those pitfalls safely dodged, in just a few short hours she’ll have a clean glass. She is then just two slaves and one whipping away from getting that glass of Chardonnay she’s after.

This vintage image come courtesy of a tweet by mrunderheel.

Floaty

A short post tonight. I’m still floating from Savannah Sly sticking a bunch of needles into me and calling me ‘a good boy’. Clothespins, electricity and breathplay may also have been involved. I’ve now got the kind of post session buzz going where I periodically pause whatever I’m doing, reflect on the night and smile to myself.

I’ll also add that while I’ve played with a lot of fancy BDSM furniture over the years, there’s something to be said for a simple padded table with a heated pad on it. It makes for a nice contrast to have one side of the body toasty, warm and comfortable while terribly painful things are happening to the other side. One might as well be comfortable while one is tortured.

This very sexy shot of Savannah is from her twitter feed. If you’d like to see more from her, she also has an OnlyFans you can follow.

Most Overrated Pose

This post was originally going to feature the most overrated item in the BDSM toolbox. After the last couple of posts on underrated equipment, I thought that might be a fun way to finish this series. Unfortunately, after pondering the idea, I’m not sure there are any good candidates for that category. Everything commonly used has its fans. I’m personally not a fan of blindfolds, but I know that a lot of other kinksters love them. Figging would be another personal choice for overrated activities, but I’m not sure something so niche could ever be described as overrated.

Instead let me go with the most overrated BDSM pose, as exemplified by the image below. This kind of shot crops up in fashion shoots all the time. It’s a strong visual and one photographers always reach for when wanting to portray a femdom dynamic. Yet in my opinion, it doesn’t work well in real play. There’s no sense of connection between the domme/sub and, if you want to do objectification, then a footstool or table position is much easier to maintain for a longer period. It’s a pose that’s great for a camera but not much else.

This is the model  Lydia Possner as shot by Markus Brink. More images from the same shoot in this post.