Tag: Photograph

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Strangely Sexy

Not sure why, but I find this strangely sexy. The shoes on the hands are silly and the setting is silly. Yet, the high heels and taut bodies still make it oddly hot. Not sure it really counts as femdom, but feel free to picture a domme just off camera wielding a whip and forcing them into heels for her pleasure.

According to this tweet this is Adam Nicklas, Walter Savage & Aurélien Muller. Photographed by Tony Duran for Brian Atwood shoes.

An Awkward Couple of Hours

I flew down to LA today for some R&R. Or I guess I should say some D&D – Dine & Domme. I’m looking forward to the trip, but I can’t say I started it particularly brilliantly.

When I got onto the plane I did the usual seat nesting process we all do. Stashing bags away, fiddling with the seat pockets, firing up my devices, etc. I’d just unlocked my iPad when the flight attendant came across to offer me a drink. That distracted me into a short conversation with him, followed by an exchange of pleasantries with my seat neighbor. A minute or two later I looked back down at my iPad and realized it was open on twitter and that this tweet from Mistress An Li happened to have landed front and center on my screen. While I’d being making civilized small talk, my iPad had been endlessly looping a gif of An Li staring at the camera through a toilet seat while spitting, pissing and presenting her asshole. That might make for good porn, but it’s not exactly the first thing I’d want to share with a cabin full of people at the start of a flight.

Nobody said anything, but I can’t believe they missed it. I might as well have been wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with “I’m a colossal pervert” across the front. Sorry seat buddy and Delta flight dude.

Of course in some cases it’s possible to combine airlines, femdom and toilet play porn. For example, I give you the SkyQueens series by Yapoo. If one of these videos had started playing they’d have probably had me arrested by the nearest air marshal.

The Philosophers Stone

Alchemists believed that there was a mystical substance that could transmute any element into any other element – the Philosophers Stone. The medieval theory for this was that the stone was formed from the intrinsic material of the world, the fundamental base that all other things were made from, and hence provided a means to dissolve and reconstitute materials as the alchemist desired. Since most alchemists got funding by pitching get-rich-quick schemes to wealthy patrons, that typically meant turning lead into gold.

Sadly the philosophers stone doesn’t exist, but the concept got me thinking about it in the context of kinky activities and sexual desire. I like a lot of different activities, which on the face of it are all fairly different. Being hit with sticks is very different to having needles pushed through the skin, which is very different to being pissed on. I enjoy them all, but why? Is there a common element that might not be obvious but that underpins their appeal? Do kinky people have a personal philosopher’s stone?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking – “What’s this idiot talking about? Obviously female domination is the key underlying element. Hasn’t he looked at his site name recently?” That’s fair but I think wrong. From a personal perspective there are lot of femdom scenes that do nothing for me. For example, punishment scenes, interrogations, pony play, foot worship, ABDL, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who unconditionally likes femdom in all its different forms. It’s too broad an area. The same argument applies to pain. I like it, but only in certain contexts. I’m not someone who enjoys a good beating for its own sake. I also enjoy scenes that don’t feature pain, so that can’t be the intrinsic element to my kink.

It was actually the picture below that gave me a clue to what I think is my fundamental base kink – contrasts. I love activities that clash contrasting dynamics. Sensual sadism, caring objectification, tease and denial, restriction with sensory overload. Cuckolding is hot as it combines love with betrayal. Punishment beatings are not because I associate them purely with negative emotions. Watersports are hot as they combine intimacy with objectification. Ballbusting is not (to me) as it seems predominantly about taking pain. In the case of the picture below it’s the contrast of beauty with severity. It’s the delicate feminine features of Lady Mephista set against the severe colors and form of her military outfit.

I think this is interesting, because understanding the basis for desires helps you to explore them. It gives me a clue about what else I might like, or how I could modify scenes to work better. I might not enjoy ballbusting on its own, but maybe doing it as a giggling schoolgirl roleplay – with the domme having fun teasing and picking on me – would add the contrast I’d need to make it work.

Does anyone else think they have a kinky philosophers stone? A base element that might not be immediately obvious but that threads through all their fantasies and play scenes?

Lady Mephista is a Berlin based domme whose professional site can be found here.

Do What You Love?

It’s often said you should choose a career that mirrors your passion. The quote “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is typically attributed to Confucius and best summarizes that viewpoint. Personally I’ve always been skeptical of it. I followed my passion into writing software and I’ve definitely worked a non-zero number of days in my life.

This blog post on BDSM burnout by  Hywel Phillips shows another risk of mixing work and passion together. In his case, after years of running a small BDSM bondage production company, he’s experiencing burnout, expressed by the death of his kinky inner fantasy life. That’s obviously a worrying situation as it puts at risk both his livelihood and his own sexual health.  It’s a thought provoking read and highlights a particular challenge of sex work that’s often overlooked. Hopefully his plan for a sabbatical will help him recover his passion.

This might look like a service submissive following his passion, but in fact this man is really into model railways. Being dismissively treated by his attractive and haughty boss is just another job for him. During his daily appraisal and punishment beating his mind will already be drifting to the new signal box model he’s putting together.

Poetry in Motion

There’s always something quite satisfying about these moment of impact pictures. It’s like the super slow-mo shots of glass shattering or a water balloon popping. That sense of a chaotic high energy transformation being momentarily captured and contained. Of course, I doubt the person on the receiving end thought about it that way. They were probably more concerned about where exactly the energy was being transferred to.

This is a shot I found from in an old tumblr archive. I’ve no idea where it was originally from.

Easter Bunny

It’s Easter weekend, so what could be more appropriate than a very sexy Easter bunny image? Presumably this lady didn’t want to mess around hunting for eggs and went straight into torturing the source for their location.

What I love most about this image – among many things – is the nipple clamps on the bunny. I can’t imagine they’re particularly effective over that fluffy suit. Although when you’ve got a chained up giant bunny in a corset and a domme wearing sunglasses in a dungeon, then clearly Mr Logic has long since packed his bags and left town.

I’ve no idea where this is originally from. I found it here.

Tingling in all the Right Places

Physical mementos of sessions are nothing unusual. Over the years I’ve had all kinds of marks, bruises and tender parts to admire after our play has finished.  Tonight is a little different, as I have a light but persistent tingling sensation in my nipples and genitals. It’s almost like a very gentle electric current is being applied.

This tingling comes courtesy of Ms Savannah Sly and the carefully cultivated stinging nettles from her garden. The odd thing is that in our session together the sensation only seemed to last a few minutes from the initial application of the nettle leaf. It was fairly intense, particularly when applied to the glans, but relatively brief. Only at the end, when cleaning up and getting dressed, did awareness of the tingle return. I guess the brain can only focus on so much at once, and all the pinching, biting and medical stapling that Savannah was doing quickly overtook the tingling.

Allegedly yogurt or apple cider vinegar are helpful in relieving the effect. I was tempted to experiment and post the results, but in the end I was just enjoying the tingle too much. It was a nice reminder of a very fun session.

Fortunately for me, just a small number of nettle leaves were involved in my scene. It wasn’t the enormous bundle on display here. That looks like it’d cause a bit more than a tingle.

I believe the original site this image is from has ceased to exist.

Bonding

Netfix has a new show coming out later this month that might appeal to the typical reader of this blog. It’s called ‘Bonding’ and, as described by Netflix, it’s the story of a New York City grad student moonlighting as a dominatrix who enlists her gay BFF to be her assistant. You can see the Netflix intro here and a trailer for it here.

I find the premise a little odd, despite the fact it’s apparently based on the real life experiences of actor Rightor Doyle. I know of pro-dommes who have behind the scenes assistants to clean their studio or run errands. I also know that offering ‘forced’ bi scenes requires the occasional stunt cock or two. However, generally speaking, I get the impression that an obvious male presence in a pro-domme business wouldn’t be at all popular. Clients are often nervous about their privacy and sharing their kinks. It’s a very intimate thing. A male assistant sounds like a total business killer. I’d  suspect that the number of men who hire dommes and also have fantasies about the domme’s nervous gay BFF showing up in their scenes is non-zero but very small.

On the plus side, Zoe Levin does look great as the domme. There’s also a chance it might be a mainstream series that shows kinky sex in a funny but positive light. So I’m definitely willing to give it a shot and hope for the best.

At Ease in the Garden

Here’s a final entry in my trio of posts that fall under the category of  “Not for me, but wow, is that’s a lovely image’.

I love her composed elegance, and the color coordination of their outfits. Black, white and red used perfectly throughout. They even found a white bench and red riding crop. Plus, it’s nice to see a domme in a stylish hat that doesn’t look like a cast off from a military surplus store.  Personally, I don’t like playing outside or doing public scenes, but this shot really works.

I believe this from a modern Femdom magazine called ‘Goddess Love’. Apparently such things still exist in Japan, and even feature artwork from Sardax. I’m not sure if you can get it the US or Europe, but any Japanese readers might want to take a look. It makes me sad we don’t have similar magazines in the US/UK anymore.