Tag: Photograph

Fear at the Front Desk

I have a secret fear of checking out of hotels. Particularly if there’s a big line of people at the desk. Each time as I go to slide across the key, I give a little nervous smile and try not to catch the hotel employee in the eye. I always picture them fiddling around on their computer and then saying “Ahhh, yes sir. You were in that room. We’d be obliged if you didn’t make any future bookings at our hotel.”

I’m obviously shocked at this statement, but as I start to protest they look me straight in the eye and loudly say “You know what you did. We all heard the noises! The young couple in the next room were most disturbed. We told them the screams were just a loud horror movie you were watching, but I know what that young lady was doing to you! You should be ashamed.”

Of course this has never happened and almost certainly never will. If hotels barred people for getting a little freaky in their rooms, then they’d have a lot of empty hotel rooms (with some exceptions). But that doesn’t stop me getting just that little bit nervous and sweaty when it comes time to pay the bill.

My most recent reason for this fear was an opportunity to play with Miss Margot of NYC in my hotel on the last full day of my trip. We had a blast, indulging in all sorts of great kinky activities. Like most NYC hotels the room was pretty small, but unlike most hotels, the bed had all sorts of useful tie points to take advantage of. That fact, combined with Miss Margot’s skills and travelling bag of rope and toys, made for a great way to spend a final afternoon in Manhattan. Hopefully we didn’t scare the other guests too badly.

This photograph of Margot doesn’t exactly fit my femdom theme, but I liked it so much I wanted to share it. It was taken by @ohgodwhy_me and shared via Margot’s twitter feed.

Miss Margot actually works as a professional switch, offering sessions as a bottom, sub, top or domme. I checked very carefully before leaving Seattle and, despite looking under the bed and down the back of the couch, still couldn’t find my dominant side. However, if you lean switchy and are looking for a versatile professional in NYC then you should definitely check out her site. And if you also fear the hotel front desk, I’m sure she could arrange a playspace for two of you.

Triple Bondage Trouble With Mistress Tess

As I mentioned in a previous post, I was lucky enough to get not one but two sessions on my current trip with the amazing Mistress Tess. We split them as 2 hours and then 4 hours, with my original thinking being that we’d start with a gentle warm-up and then get into the heavier stuff in the longer second session. In the event we started with intense and awesome, followed by even more intense and even more awesome, which turned out to be just fine with me! There was a lot of bondage in both, but we only snapped photographs in the second one.

That second session started with a leather body bag, and straps, and rope, and more straps, and some locks, and then more straps. This abundance of leather and bondage was complemented by some electrics attached to the only skin showing – the cock and balls. You can see all this in these images – torso, angle, side and close-up. I should add that throughout this Mistress Tess was spinning an imaginative medical experimentation fantasy, with me as the object at the focus of it. Apparently amputation and castration might have been in my future – but luckily, this time at least, I escaped with all parts intact.

We then moved on to some metal bondage on her pegboard bed, as shown in this overhead shot. I’m sporting some particularly sexy boots, and the metal spheres just in frame at the bottom are actually enclosing my hands. The metal creates an interesting head space, as there’s a little more initial wiggle than ropes or leather, but at the end of the wiggle it’s hard and immovable metal. Everything’s bolted down, so you feel very much part of the apparatus, rather than simply held by it. While I was bolted into place, Mistress Tess took the chance to do some piercing and continue to zap my delicate bits.

Finally, we did something entirely new to me  – a wet pack. This consisted of multiple cold wet sheets being wrapped around me to swaddle the body.  As a newbie to the process I got the lightweight version, which didn’t feature sheets that had been kept wet in the fridge for hours, but it was a still a major shock to the system. Apparently a wet pack is a genuine medical ‘treatment’ that used to be used in asylums to restrain/cure/punish patients.  Tess being the bondage aficionado that she is, didn’t just stop at sheets, as leather straps and then plastic wrap were added to finish the encasement off. You can see the final result in this image and this image. Luckily, body heat eventually warms the sheets, so it becomes almost relaxing. I say ‘almost relaxing’ because of course, with Doctor Tess in the clinic, the restraints are only the start of the procedure…

It was a genuinely awesome experience, and I was giddy and burbly for many hours afterwards. The technical elements of the play were exceptional and, as I mentioned the last time I played with her, Mistress Tess  is also brilliant at spinning a verbal fantasy. There was a lot of tease, denial and creative sadistic storytelling to go along with it all.  It’s unfortunate that I live a 6 hour flight away, otherwise I could see myself spending a lot of time as a specimen in her laboratory of kink.

This shot is a close-up from the first scenario. You can see the white rope pulling the body bag tight, with the padlocks locking the straps into place.

If you’re in the NYC area and interested in seeing Mistress Tess, then her professional site is here and her twitter here. If you can’t make it to NYC then her OnlyFans account has a lot of great content and is here.

And Now For Something Completely Different

I’ve been watching episodes from the original Monty Python television show (1969-74). The films and the famous sketches are now a familiar part of modern comedy culture, but it’s interesting to go back and look at the original work it all sprang from. The classics are still there of course, together with a fair number of gems that never quite made it beyond the TV episodes and a lot of dross that is probably best left forgotten. One thing that stands out in hindsight is their inability to write for women. Carol Cleveland does the best she can, but she’s basically used as an attractive prop. The guys got dragged up for any more interesting female roles.

I mention all this here because of a particular sketch –  Marriage Guidance Counselor. I remember watching this as a young teenager and being strangely and strongly aroused by it. Admittedly, I was a young teenager in the days before internet porn, so the set of things that I found arousing was pretty large. A breeze striking my trouser region at the right angle would have worked, so Carole Cleveland in a low cut top definitely did the trick. However, there were a lot of other sketches featuring her or similarly attractive actresses, and none of those stuck in my mind like this one did. In hindsight, I wonder if the cuckold element resonated with me? It’d weird to think that, because at the time I had zero idea about kink, let along something as complex as cuckolding. Yet perhaps the fundamental idea of sex twisted by betrayal and denial was already lurking in my psyche? Was it a proto-kink waiting to be named and understood? Or was it was just that low cut top all along?

This is the beautiful Carol Cleveland herself, obviously in a non-Python promo shot.

Side Eye

This is a lovely old shot from the era of Weimar Berlin. The two figures are Margo Lion and Wilhelm Bendow, cabaret performers from 1927. She looks fabulously composed and stylish. He makes me think of every date I’ve ever been on. There’s a touch of cat and mouse about the pair, assuming that mice brought flowers for cats prior to being eaten.

I believe I found this on the twitter feed of Severin.

Ice with Mistress Mara

My trip East got off to an excellent start, meeting up with Mistress Mara Mayhem in Chicago. We’ve played together several times in the past, so it was nice to catch up and get back into the rhythm of playing again.

She’d just purchased a lovely red vinyl ‘straitjacket’ that wrapped my arms and shoulders up but left the delicate body parts available for torturing and for binding. All manner of squeezing, slapping, pinching, scratching and tickling featured, along with a fair amount of growling and snarling from yours truly. If Mistress Mara’s spirit animal is cat then, judging by my mid-scene noises, mine is definitely a dog.

Probably the strongest reaction I had was to something as simple as a strategically placed ice cube. For some reason that made me laugh a lot, although I’m not totally sure why. It was a very instinctual response, almost like being tickled, but triggered by a very different skin sensation.

My thanks to Mistress Mara for a great start to my trip. I’m now in NYC, where hopefully more kinky shenanigans await.

Mistress Mara is a Chicago based pro-domme, although if you keep up with her twitter you’ll see she also tours as well.

Differences in Perception

Mark left a thoughtful comment on my last post, emphasizing the difference between professional and lifestyle D/s relationships. The original post was about the focus on man’s pleasure and the male context as the default one at the expense of the female one. His point was that while that’s true for the professional context, it’s not necessarily true for the lifestyle one, where the negotiation, dynamics and goals can be very different. Oddly enough, I actually think we’re both right.

His point about the difference between lifestyle and professional interaction is undoubtedly true, but the latter part of my post was more about the common representation and perception of femdom. And I think it’s pretty clear that the professionals dominate (*ahem*) that sphere. They are who journalists turn to when they want a quote, an interview or a sex advice column on kink. They’re the obvious inspiration for high end fashion shots and for instagram celebrities looking to shock. They’re commercially incentivized to produce glossy appealing imagery, which gets posted all over twitter and websites like this one.

Any regular readers will know that I huge respect and appreciation for pro-dommes – they’ve literally changed my life. But I can’t pretend that they don’t have significant distorting effect on how society perceives femdom and male submission. Good non-professional representations of femdom are rare and hard to find. Certainly not something the average person will regularly encounter.

This is from a series called ‘Strong Women’ by the photographer Marco Tanaglia (found here). I think it’s a good example of my point, as it’s pretty clear what type of strong woman has influenced this image.

Working from Different Baselines

This article – The female price of male pleasure – isn’t femdom and isn’t even recent (Jan ’18). However, I found it thought provoking and it’s my blog, so here it is.

The basic thrust of the article is that men and women operate on very different scales when it comes to sex and pleasure. For men the range is boring to awesome, for women the range is painful/scary/coercive to awesome. That leads to very different baselines and different normal expectations. On top of that, society has conditioned us to make the male expectation the default one, to the point where people don’t even realize other expectations exist, which in turn distorts any discussion about it.

Although it’s  not about kink and femdom, I think the articles basic point is actually equally applicable to them. If you look around at the online representation of femdom, it would be hard to argue that male pleasure isn’t the primary focus of 95% of it. The dicks might be getting squashed, smacked, beaten, locked up, teased or laughed at, but the dick is still the primary focus. It’s ironic that in a realm where the purported focus is female pleasure and male pain, it’s typically still the women clambering around in the uncomfortable outfits while the men get to sit back and soak in the sensations they crave.

I don’t really have any wise words on how to address this. Hell, this blog is just as guilty of perpetuating the status quo. But if a discussion is going to be productive, all parties have to at least be operating with a shared understanding and a common context. So perhaps just acknowledging the different contexts and baselines that are operating here is a useful first step.

It was tricky to pick and image for this particular topic. I figured a dominant woman enjoying both a candle lit bubble bath and a bound silenced slave to drip hot wax onto was a pretty good representation of what should be pleasure for all concerned. This is Goddess Viper,  a pro-domme based in Manila, with the image taken from her twitter feed. My thanks to Lucy Sweetkill for the original article link.

Kinky Kayaking

I’ve posted in the past about the mainstream news using any excuse to work ‘dominatrix’ into a story headline as clickbait. Typically it’s a random and lazy fashion story like here.  However, this time I really have to give credit to the Maritime Herald, because they had to get seriously creative for this one – A ‘Dominatrix’ Seal Whips a Man Using an Octopus Like a Whip. Whoever came up with that should  be snapped up by a British tabloid, because their ‘skills’ are being wasted at the Maritime Herald.

You might have already seen the story in question. It was one of those cool nature videos that go viral on social media. Basically a seal decides to use a man as a suitably heavy object to bash an octopus against. It takes some real journalistic imagination to jump from there to a dominatrix seal. How do they know it was female seal? Do seals have kinks? If they do, why would they involve humans? Did the octopus have a safeword? Is it bestiality if the guy enjoyed it? So many questions…

Unsurprisingly, there aren’t many image featuring seals as dominatrices. So I’ll go with a sexy vintage scuba shot. Not sure how practical this is, but it’s certainly appealing. Maybe it’s this kind of outfit at the beach that’s given us kinky seals?

Money, money, money

When it comes to paying a professional dominant – the ‘tribute’ in the industry parlance – it’s said that you get what you pay for. My social media feeds frequently features this sentiment expressed in various different ways, both by pro-dommes and their clients. In other words the quality of the dominant and the experience she offers correlates strongly to the size of the tribute she demands. But is this true?

I can obviously only comment from my limited personal experience, which is entirely with independent and well established pro-dommes.  However, within that limited set, I’d say the number one correlation with the tribute amount isn’t the skill of the domme, but the cost of real estate in her location. High cost cities make it expensive to maintain both a playspace and a personal residence. They also tend to have a highly paid client base who can afford higher fees. So Manhattan has always had very high hourly tribute rates. San Francisco wasn’t too bad a decade or so ago, but has become a lot more expensive in recent years.  Seattle isn’t in San Francisco’s league yet, but is beginning to trend in that direction.

Keeping all this in mind, if there are any American submissives out there with cash on the hip, vacation time in the bank, and a kinky itch to scratch, my top recommendation would be to visit Los Angeles. It’s got a huge and talented pro-domme community, but its sprawling layout leads to a cheaper cost of living and significantly lower tribute rates. For example, Isabella Sinclaire is undoubtedly an outstanding domme, with the skills to match anyone in the world. Yet, her rate for 2 hours is (at the time of writing) $500, which is significantly below the SF average and way below the NYC average. She also has an amazing and well equipped play space.

I hated LA when I first visited it back in the 90’s, but it’s probably the one place in America I’d now consider living outside Seattle. If you’ve not been then I definitely recommend it. Just steer clear of the Hollywood tourist traps.

This shot is from Isabella’s instagram feed. Her contact information for scheduling professional sessions is here.

What a lovely long … cigarette holder.

I think this is a great image, although it’s a somewhat strange one. Based on the tweet I discovered it, this is the actress Alexis Smith shot in 1947. I’d therefore guess it’s a studio promotion shot for the movie The Two Mrs Carrolls that she starred in that year. It was directed by Peter Godfrey, who presumably is the diminutive man with the match. The movie and his direction got a critical pummeling, but at least he got to light her cigarette. Every cloud has a silver lining.