Tag: Pro-domme

Home Alone Again

I’m back in Seattle. Safe and sound, as far as I can tell. Several weeks of staying at home, cooking lots of food for myself and drinking wine lie ahead. So basically, business as usual. It was weird being on vacation and hearing from all my friends getting stressed about social isolation and quarantine in Seattle. It was like preparing for a particular race your whole life, and then discovering they decided to start it while you were out of town. The one time my normal introverted lifestyle would have been useful, and I was hanging out in airport departure lounges.

Before I left San Francisco I was fortunate enough to do a couple of great sessions with Penny Barber. I’ve written here in the past about my approach of doing a variety of different sessions when I travel, and this trip further proved the wisdom of that. Although the activities we explored were  ones I’ve done many times before, Penny’s style was very unique and fun, with a beautiful blend of sadism/sensuality, tease/denial and caring/cruelty. She did a wonderful job of pushing my buttons around kinky contrasts. Add in some excellently executed roleplay (or her part) and a well equipped playspace to explore it in, and you’ve got the recipe for a great way to spend an afternoon while the world outside falls apart.

One new experience for me was doing a golden shower in a full and warm bathtub. I’ve done plenty of showers on the floor of cold bathrooms and empty tubs, but none where I’m lying back and relaxing in the warmth of a proper bath. It’s actually a brilliant approach by Penny. Golden showers might start off as hot (all in senses of the word), but quickly get very chilly and damp. Doing it in a hot bath totally solves that problem. Plus, cleaning up afterwards is quick and easy . Genius!

This rather stunning selfie was taken by Penny just before our first session together and posted to her twitter feed. If you’re interested in doing in person sessions with her, then this is her professional site.

Penny also creates a lot of movies with some pretty kinky and taboo themes (e.g. ageplay, incest, ABDL, mommy domme, etc.) . If that sounds like you’re kind of thing, then she has a clips store here, an OnlyFans site here and a media site here. Or just follow her twitter feed, which feature links to a lot of her content.

In Olden Times

Yesterday’s post reminded me of two excellent blog posts from 2019 on meeting pro-dommes in the pre-internet era. This one by the UK based Sardax (complete with some lovely illustrations) and this one from the New York of Irv O. Neil. I think both give a fascinating glimpse into what was obviously a tricky and fraught process.

My favorite tale from those days was one that I remember reading on MaxFisch years ago. I can’t find the original post, or remember who wrote it, but the details stuck in my mind. The submissive in question had set up a session via a phonebox card and ended up in a dingy London basement with a lady who didn’t in any way resemble her ad. Nevertheless, he persevered through a lackluster session, which was supposed to culminate in a golden shower. The lady had insisted on a blindfold for this, which obviously wasn’t too effective, as he spied her taking a teapot and trickling the warm contents over his head. Now pee does have certain tea like tannic notes, but I’m not sure that a pot of PG Tips was exactly what the submissive in question was paying for.

If tea must be involved in kinky play, this is clearly a far superior way to do it. The artwork is by the aforementioned Sardax in a piece commissioned for Mistress Diana Von Rigg.

Phonebox Cards

Finding a pro-domme in the pre-internet days was a little trickier than doing a simple web search or browsing twitter. Advertising options were a lot more limited and everybody had to work harder to make contact. In London through the 80’s and 90’s, one common mechanism was to put advertising cards in phoneboxes. The image below is a collection of these cards from Mistress Electra Amore. They’re clearly from a mid to late 90’s era, as a few do have web site addresses on them.

If I’d been brave enough to go looking for someone back in my early 20’s then Mistress Cleopatra (or Cleo-Patra?) would certainly have caught my eye. Of course a blurry photograph on a small card is no guarantee of who you were eventually going to meet. These days most pro-dommes have dozens of professionally taken photographs on their sites, along with social media feeds packed with selfies and candid shots. I almost never hear of bait and switch tactics being employed. I’d guess they were a lot more common 20 or 30 years ago.

Predicaments with Domina Yuki

My San Francisco trip got off to a great start with two sessions on consecutive days with Domina Yuki. I normally leave at least one clear day between sessions to recover,  but having them close together like this actually worked out pretty well. They flowed more naturally together and it was easy and quick to get back into the zone. Much predicament play was involved, which is always a specialty of Domina Yuki’s.

One set-up is shown in shown in these top view and side view shots. You can see a series of cords attaching my toes and my clamped balls and nipples to the overhead hanging rod. The little black box is an e-stim device, wired to the base of my cock and set to trigger on any sound. So movement of the feet or body creates painful tugs on the clamps, which makes me moan, which triggers painful shocks, which makes me wriggle and move even more. Of course, if there’s a devious domme in the room, she might decide that the whole set-up could be much improved by clapping loudly or pinwheeling the feet.

We also did a standing set-up, that’s shown in this image. It’s less complicated but no less devious in its own way. Those white plastic medical clamps are pinching the skin closed over the head of the cock, and are exceedingly tight and painful. That configuration becomes incredibly more painful in any state of arousal. The kind of thing that might happen, for example, if a sexy domme were to caress a nipple and whisper naughty thoughts into an ear. Luckily, should such as state of affairs come to pass, she can always resolve the problem by carefully beating the errant member down with a light flogger.

One of the more unusual configurations I got to enjoy was being fastened down and spread out on a tiled floor using heavy suction cups as tie points. I’ve never seen this done before and it’s a really great idea, as you can put the anchor points anywhere. It allows for interesting asymmetrical bondage positions and a quick way to make adjustments. It also gave me an amazing viewpoint as Domina Yuki walked around me and over me, dragging her heels across my chest or poking into my delicate parts. The low shot looking up at a looming domme is a classic/cliche of femdom porn, yet in my experience it’s actually kind of rare in play. I’m often lying on a table or standing at a wall so don’t get that angle. Even when kneeling on the floor I’m typically looking down rather than up. It was a very pleasant change to both be low down and have the opportunity to look up at the domme as she stood over me and tortured me.

This shot wasn’t quite the angle I had, but it’s still a very striking one. The image is from Domina Yuki’s professional site. If you’re in the Bay area then she’s an amazing person to session with. If that’s not possible, then you can follow her AVN Stars feed here or her Twitter feed here.

Stupid Dick

I have to admit that yesterday’s post ‘The Bug‘ was written from a personal perspective. I’m currently down in San Francisco enjoying some kinky fun. It was a trip I arranged in January, before the extent of the COVID-19 issue in the US was clear. I debated cancelling it, but I figured if I take proper precautions then staying on my own in a hotel room was really no different to staying on my own in my condo. So here I am, with very chapped and dried hands from the frequent washing.

I was very happy to start my trip by meeting up with Domina Yuki.  She’s an amazing domme who I’ve known for years and is always the first person I reach out to when returning to the Bay area. We had a fabulous session, with much tease, torment and predicament play. A couple of photographs were snapped, so hopefully I can share those in a future post.

One particularly interesting moment in the session occurred when we were playing with a Kali’s teeth device. I’ve experienced these devices before, although this one was narrower and tighter than I’m used to. The typical reaction to them goes in a cycle. They don’t hurt going on, but arousal leads to pain. That’s a hot thing for a masochist, so the excitement increases in a feedback loop until the pain peaks and becomes too much. That diminishes arousal, putting me into a slowly cycling equilibrium. Stimulus balances against pain, with the domme tilting the balance as she sees fit.

What was strange today is that we hit that hit that tipping point of pain, and my stupid dick just kept on going (and growing). It was like a chain reaction that was out of control. My brain was at the point of “OK. That really hurts. Not so hot anymore” and the dick was “Nu-huh. We’re keeping this party going.” It was genuinely weird. I’ve made plenty of jokes in the past about my dick having a mind of its own, but this was the first time it actually felt like that. It was also the first time I’ve actively tried to think unsexy thoughts during a session, which is frankly quite the challenge when Domina Yuki is in the same room.

This image of Domina Yuki from her website should give some idea of the challenge involved of unsexy thoughts when doing a session with her. You can follow her here on twitter or enjoy exclusive content via her AVN stars feed.

The Boss

There’s something about combining smart conventional outfits and kink. It’s hot in a way I find hard to identify. Maybe it’s the contrast of the implication of strict social norms and then the trangressive element of kink. Maybe it’s a uniform thing, where the costume comes loaded with a history social rules and authority. Maybe it’s because I live on the west coast, where the typical business outfit is jeans and a polo shirt, so seeing anyone dressed in a smart suit is automatically a big improvement.

This is from a short film that Mistress Iris is shooting, with this particular image coming via a tweet by Mistress Eva. If you’re not  a member of Mistress Iris’ Patreon and like her content, then now might be a good time to subscribe. I suspect more hotness from this scene is in the pipeline.

 

Pet Peeve – Contact Form Feedback

Time for another PPPP – Paltego Pet Peeve Post. This time it’s pro-domme contact forms for scheduling sessions. Specifically, the type of contact forms that give little to no feedback to the user. From my experience, that’s 9 out of 10 of them.

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, allow me to explain. Rather than having submissives send random and badly structured emails, many pro-dommes have a contact form that elicits the specific information they require. This is a good thing. The problem comes when, after many rounds of editing and proofreading, you say a silent prayer and hit the submit button. At that point almost anything can happen. Maybe it’ll clear all the text and give you no clue if it worked or not. Maybe you’ll get some obscure error code or connection error. Maybe you’ll get a blank page. It’s impossible to predict.  Even if it gives a ‘Thanks for your submission’ type response, you’ve still no idea if it really worked or not. Did it email the info to the domme? Did it delete everything? Or did it just email all my contacts with the fact that I’m interested in exploring watersports, puppy play and like being called a dirty little boy?

What prompted me to talk about this was actually the rare example of a contact form done well. Domina Esme Crane’s – built on Jot Forms – actually emailed me back with all the information I’d just submitted. That not only let me know it’d worked, but also allowed me to see it had got all the relevant information. Genius!

If you follow any pro-dommes on social media you’ll often hear complaints about submissives who are too demanding and expect rapid responses to any communication. I’d suggest one way to reduce that is to remove ambiguity from communication. It you’re not sure if something worked properly or not, it’s always going to be tempting to assuming not and to try it again.

This is the aforementioned Domina Crane in an image from her twitter feed. She’s a San Francisco based pro-domme. Sadly, despite her well executed contact form, it doesn’t look like we’ll manage to intersect on my next visit to the Bay area. Hopefully I’ll be better organized for future visits.

A New Twist

It’s always fun to discover a new twist on a favorite activity. After years of kinky indulgence it’s rare for me to discover something totally new, but I’m often happily surprised by how different an activity can feel when approached from a new angle.

The specific example I have in mind is seated mummification, courtesy of Mistress Damiana Chi during my recent LA trip. I’ve been wrapped up many times before, but never in the seated position. We started with me standing in front of the chair while Mistress Damiana swaddled me in plastic wrap. Then, once I hopped back and eased myself down, she bound my mummified torso  into place using rope. It was a great setup because I felt incredibly immobilized, but I could also interact with the domme and observe the sadistic things she was doing to my genitals and nipples. With the traditional horizontal position it can often feel disconnected, with me staring at the ceiling while nasty things happen down south. With this setup we could make eye contact and I could see what was happening, while still having no ability to stop it. That sense of a shared intimate connection and total helplessness is a wonderful button pusher for me.

Unfortunately we didn’t capture any photographs of the chair bondage. However, we did get some good snaps of the second setup, which featured a beautiful red latex bodybag. That was complemented by multiple ropes and leather straps. You can see the resulting arrangement from three different angles here, here and here. Of course, bondage is never quite enough on its own, so Mistress Damiana added some piercing to the nipples and scrotum and then fired up her Electrastim device. This is shown in the two shots here and here.

Looking back on the images now, what catches my eye are the little touches I missed first time around. For example, the color match between the posture collar and the bag, or the extra rope added to expose the nipples properly. It was an amazing session and, as always, my thanks go to Mistress Damiana for creating such an intense yet enjoyable experience.

You can find Mistress Damiana’s main site for sessions here,  her site for her Dominatrix Academy here and her site for kink-knowledgeable life coaching here.  She also has a twitter feed available here.

Playing with Mistress Lucy

Before leaving LA I was fortunate enough to spend time with Mistress Lucy Khan. We had a lengthy and very enjoyable session featuring a smorgasbord of different activities all wrapped in a fun roleplay dynamic. Some things on the menu included cupping, piercing, scentplay, breathplay, tease, denial and general sadism to my delicate bits.

I particularly enjoyed the rope spiderweb that Mistress Lucy wove around me towards the end of the session. You can see it in this photograph. It was one of those arrangements that didn’t make much sense to me as it was being constructed, as it didn’t feel like it’d hold me properly. Then Mistress Lucy pulled hard on the bottom two ropes and everything tightened and magically fell into place. I particularly liked the way she tied it off around my big toes. There’s always an interesting sense of vulnerability that comes with toe bondage, given how sensitive the soles of the feet are.

Reflecting on the session later that evening, still floating on buzz created, it struck me that one sign of a world class professional domme is the commitment and intensity she can bring to a session with someone she rarely sees. It had been around 9 months since we’d last got together, yet it didn’t feel like that. Mistress Lucy created and held a bubble that made it very easy for me to relax into subspace and exist with her in the moment.

This image is from Mistress Lucy’s twitter feed. That’s not me in the image, but we did indulge in some similar play.

Finding the Edge

The Daily Dot has published an interesting article on Edge Play. One of the questions it raises is what exactly is edge play? Before reading the article I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure.

I think there are three basic definitions you can come up with. They key question is what line is being played up to?

  1. Is it the edge of the submissive’s comfort zone?
  2. Is it the edge of mainstream BDSM activities?
  3. Is it the edge of life itself?

I’ve personally always assumed the definition was (2). That means things like scat, branding or very intense corporal play that draws blood would count as edge play. I’ve also known some professional kinksters who use the definition of (3), limiting it to activities involving knifes, guns, choking, etc. In that case edge play is the kind of thing that might land you not just in the emergency room but ultimately in the morgue.

What this article suggests is that (1) is actually the correct definition of edge play. Which seems kind of odd to me. Everyone has limits and a comfort zone, and that’s going to be in a different place for each submissive. So with that definition it almost becomes a meaningless term. Normally I’d just assume it was an article from a journalist who didn’t really understand the subject, but if features quotes from genuine experts in the field.

What constitutes edge play is different for everyone. I consider edge play to be play that occurs at the edge of what one can bear. Play where there is enough trust to push past what is comfortable creates the possibility of a new outcome.
Mistress Blunt

The article also goes on to list a 24/7 dynamic as another example of edge play, which is something that I’d suggest exists on an entirely different dimension to specific BDSM activities. So where exactly is the edge correctly drawn? Is it just one of those things that is always defined with respect to the person involved? Is my edge just someone else’s light warm-up?

Here’s the aforementioned Mistress Blunt exploring an activity that I guess could be an edge play candidate – mummification. This is from this tweet.