Tag: Pro-domme

What are the Odds?

Whenever I put up a post that casts a negative light on femdom and playing with professional dommes – as I just did – I worry I’ll put off someone who is tempted to explore kink or hire a pro-domme.  So to assuage my fears and encourage anyone out there to take the plunge, I thought I’d share some personal statistics.

At this point I’ve done well over 200 professional sessions with a wide variety of different dommes. Out of all those sessions, I had…

  • One that went bad that I covered previously.
  • One that felt like a rip-off. It was in a Las Vegas hotel room and was a halfhearted unimaginative effort. I found myself in a cab on the Vegas strip – with piss still in my hair – 15 minutes before the session was even supposed to finish. The domme was relatively unknown and I wasn’t surprised to see her shutdown her site shortly afterwards.
  • One two hour session that the domme was three hours later for. The volume of coffee I drank while waiting turned out to be more tortuous than the session itself.
  • One session that was cancelled with me standing on the doorstep. The domme had forgotten she was moving house that day.

Those four events represent the total number of times I walked away significantly dissatisfied. For the other 200 or so sessions, I’ve had experiences that ranged from a fun time to the mind meltingly brilliant. That’s a way better success rate than my experiences with restaurants, movies, plays, spas, etc. I can’t guarantee you’ll always have a great kinky time if you hire a professional, but if my experiences are anything to go by, the odds are significantly in your favor.

This is a Club Pedestal event rather than a professional session, but it’s such a fun shot that I wanted to feature it. Found via this tweet and I believe that’s Ms Eva.

Tease as the Core

The Porte-à-Vie site has published an insightful interview with Mistress Iris. It covers topics such as the definition of a dominatrix, the relationship between kink and daily life, the attraction of BDSM, etc. What really caught my eye was when Mistress Iris addressed the subject of her specialty…

Tease is at the core of my sexuality. What electrifies me is the exquisite expression of pure desperation. The moment a person can no longer compose their facade any longer– when their dignity, their sense of self goes out of the window and they begin to beg and plead– that’s when I have the most power over them. It’s orgasmic.

As someone lucky enough to have played with Mistress Iris in the past (for example here and here), I can attest to her skill at teasing. I think a lot of dommes treat tease as a path to intense physical activities. It’s a way to get the blood pumping and the endorphins flowing before the nipple clamps and needles come out. Mistress Iris makes tease an end in itself and, as I wrote recently, I think tease and denial can be just as psychologically intense as any masochistic session.

When done expertly, teasing and edging can feel more out of control than simple pain. After all, one can always safeword out of pain. There’s no shame in stopping a heavy beating when you reach a limit. But how can you safeword out of not getting something? The whole point is that maybe, just maybe, if you stick with it, you’ll be rewarded (but probably not). Stopping doesn’t help you. Continuing makes it worse. It’s a truly beautiful dilemma.

This is from the twitter feed of Mistress Iris. You can find her professional site here.

Not like it said on the Package

Last night, with Ms Savannah Sly, I had the pleasure of experiencing the cinnamon challenge. This is not, I hasten to add, the silly idea of eating a spoonful of ground cinnamon. That’s a crazy thing to do. This was instead the new and updated cinnamon challenge, where you shove a cinnamon flavored Listerine breathstrip down the urethra. That’s obviously far more sensible.

If you’d like to try this at home then I’d suggest you start by tying your submissive down. He will want to jump around a lot. Then take a sterilized metal sound and, using a touch of lube, wrap the breathstrip around the shaft. This is best done while wearing sterile disposable gloves. Then gently slide the sound into the urethra and wiggle it slightly. You will not need to ask if he can feel it. He will let you know that very clearly and loudly. For the sake of your neighbors, some sort of sound muffling device may be required if you wish to slide the sound further into the penis. Be sure to allow the submissive a few minutes to really enjoy the experience before you deploy the next strip.

I should add, before everyone rushes off to raid their bathroom cabinet, this it not an experience you can safeword out of. Once the breathstrip is in, there’s nothing to do but lie back and enjoy the ride. That means a deep and intense burning sensation for a few minutes, with various spikes and prickles coming and going as the metal sound moves. It eventually subsides to a steady background tingle, which lasts for several hours.

I’ve experienced this before with the mint strips, but they were considerably milder. If you’re at all curious, then I’d suggest starting there before upgrading to the cinnamon variety.

Here’s the lovely Ms Savannah with the actual metal sound we used. This is from this tweet posted to her twitter feed just after our session. If you’d like to see more content from her then you can follow her OnlyFans here.

The Maths Checks Out

Last week I wrote a post claiming that London was probably ground zero for kinky submissives seeking pro-dommes. You can obviously have a fabulous time in any part of the world, but for a location with the greatest accessibility to the largest number of dommes, it is hard to beat London.

I thought about doing some maths to back up the theory, but ran into a seemingly insurmountable problem. Specifically the problem of me being lazy and that analysis requiring work. Fortunately, a very helpful comment from sobrinoir, pointed me at this post, which provides a list of countries ranked by the number of pro-dommes per capita.  As I suspected, the UK ranks right at the top, with 1 pro-domme per 105,000 people, significantly ahead of countries like Germany and the US.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that the science behind the ranking is more than a little shaky. It’s based on pro-domme counts just a single source – Domina Guide – and a casual inspection of their links show a lot that are dead or outdated. It’s also badly skewed towards Western countries. I find it hard to believe that Japan has just 14 pro-dommes, as the guide appears to claim. Yet despite those issues, I think it is interesting data. The fact that the UK has a roughly comparable number of pro-dommes listed as the US does, while being one sixth the size in population is kind of amazing.

This is the London based Mistress Miranda, with an image from her twitter feed. She’s an expert in bondage and heavy medical play, and her feed features images from some wonderfully intense looking scenes.

Location, Location, Location

For submissives who primarily play with pro-dommes, where is the best place in the world to live? Setting aside existing relationships – assume we’re talking about a newly minted fresh faced submissive with no history or experience – what location offers the greatest possibilities?

Having just returned from the UK, I think my answer would probably be London. Obviously, like other great cities such as New York or Tokyo, it’s home to a large number of talented pro-dommes and plays host to a lot of visiting dommes. If you want to turn a kinky session into a day trip, then dommes in places like Paris, Manchester, Birmingham and most of the South of England are options. Make it into a long weekend, and suddenly cities like Berlin, Stuttgart, Amsterdam, Edinburgh and Glasgow are all possibilities. On top of this, the UK sex work laws are less stupid than the US (while still being very stupid), and social attitudes to kink tend to be relatively liberal. It’s not perfect, but on balance I think it might just be the best place to be a kinky person in the professional scene.

Obviously quality always beats quantity, and you could have a fabulous D/s relationship with someone while living in a tiny hamlet that’s miles from anywhere. But chemistry is important whether a relationship is professional or lifestyle, and the more people you have to meet, the better your odds of finding that elusive fizzy reaction.

This is Lola Ruin, a Manchester based pro-domme. She’s about a two hour train journey from London. Not exactly a quick trip, but still faster than jetting between major cities in the US. The image is from her twitter feed.

Flying Back

I’m writing this midway between Washington State and the United Kingdom. Below me is 30,000 feet of air, a jet plane and a sore bottom, in that order. The former is courtesy of Boeing, the latter courtesy of Adreena Angela and her cane. There are as many different approaches to femdom as there are dommes, but one thing is always consistent: If you session just before you fly, expect a caning.

Playing with Mistress Adreena proved to be a great way to both start and finish my UK trip. It was ridiculously hot for my final days in London, making everything very sweaty and sticky. Normally that would be a bad thing, but in certain situations and with the right set of kinks, it can actually be a bonus. I love scent play, so having her damp armpit smooshed into my face was a little slice of sweaty heaven. Mistress Adreena was also careful to keep us both thoroughly hydrated, although my liquids came to me via an indirect and secondhand route.

If you’re interested in scheduling a session, Mistress Adreena’s professional site is available here. At the time of writing, twitter has somehow managed to screw-up her account, but her instagram is available here (source for the above picture).

North of the Border

The family part of my trip has ended and I’ve headed North to meet up with some friends who have flown in from the US. Specifically I’m in Glasgow (just for a day) and then then Western coast of the Scottish lowlands. It has been an eye opening experience. Or, more accurately, an ear opening experience. I never realized just how sexy the Scottish accent is. I’ll talk to random people in restaurants and shops and be captivated by it. I’m usually a quiet introvert, but I find myself chatting to people more just because their accent is so damn attractive.

My social schedule and limited time in Glasgow has prevented me from setting up any kinky encounters, which I’m now deeply regretting. There are a lot of talented dommes here I’d love to spend time with. Miss Marilyn is one of them, and you can hear her fabulous accent in the video series she’s doing for the BBC on kink. I covered the first one in a past post here and you can hear the second video here.

This image is from Miss Marilyn’s twitter feed.  Her professional site for scheduling sessions is here.

A Session with Adreena

My UK trip has migrated north, from partying in London to spending time with family in Warwickshire. My opportunities for kink have thus been temporarily curtailed. However, before I left London, I was lucky enough to meet and play with Mistress Adreena Angela.

One of the great things about Twitter is being able to get a sense of someone before you meet them. It’s obviously an imperfect and distorted view, but it has sometimes helped me figure out who I might connect well with. From Mistress Adreena’s feed I got the impression of someone who played with a positive energy and enjoyed tease, denial and the wonderful frustration of intimacy that’s so near…yet so far away. Those are dynamics I love, particularly when mixed with  a side-order of sadism, and the result was a great first session together.

One particularly enjoyable element was her use of extended eye contact. A lot of dommes use this to some extent, but I’ve never played with one who pushes it as hard as Mistress Adreena does. I’m sure it helps that she has absolutely gorgeous eyes. With my adrenaline and endorphins flowing, it was easy to temporarily lose my sense of self in her gaze. In normal circumstances I’d get embarrassed or shy and look away, but ironically the act of submission actually makes it easier for me to maintain eye contact. It changes a challenge into an acceptance.

This shot of Mistress Adreena shows off those beautiful eyes as well as some of her equally impressive tattoos. For sessions she plays out of her own well equipped space in London. If you’re interested in a professional session then her site with the contact process is here.

Back in Blighty

I’m safely back to the UK, although I have apparently turned into an American tourist. I thought my recent US citizenship test was just a few easy history questions, but there must also have been a Men in Black style brain zapper hidden in there somewhere. In the last few days I’ve been lost more times than I can count thanks to the twisty roads and arbitrary street names. I’ve been amazed at the ubiquitous jaywalking and people drinking beer on the pavement outside pubs. And I’ve been confused by the currency (all these coins!) and the elevator buttons (the UK and US disagree on what the first floor is). The combination of bewildered tourist and an English accent has been a really puzzler to everyone around me.

On a happier note, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to meet up with Sardax on Tuesday afternoon. He’s an artist I’ve admired for many years and it was an absolute pleasure to chat with him about kink and Femdom over a coffee. I think his work captures the essence and beauty of Femdom in a very truthful and unique way, and we’re lucky to have someone with his talent contributing to the kinky community.

Sardax was also meeting up with Domina Emilia, Miss Opium and Miss Patricia, which is quite a spectacular trio of dominants to have in one place on a sunny afternoon in a park! It was a real honor to have the chance to meet and chat with all of them. The image below was shot that afternoon and taken from Domina Emilia’s twitter feed.

Domina Emilia (professional site here), Miss Opium (professional site here)and Miss Patricia (professional site here) are all London based pro-dommes.

If you’re interested in commissioning work from Sardax, his info is here.