Tag: Pro-domme

LA Fun Continued

My LA session fun continued yesterday with Mistress Damiana Chi. Which I’m not going to talk about. That’s because we shot some photographs, so I need to get and edit those before posting about the session itself. Hopefully that’ll happen in the coming days.

Instead, I’ll move onto what I got up to today with Mistress An Li. Glutton for punishment that I am, I ended up with back to back to back sessions. This was the first time An Li and myself had played together, which is always an interesting situation. I’d swapped just a couple of emails, chatted for a few minutes, and suddenly I’m naked and getting smacked around by this total stranger. Admittedly, it’s a very attractive stranger in sexy fetish wear who does this thing for a living but, after all these years of play, it’s still kind of weird.

I’m not sure our respective play styles really meshed all that well. I tend to a more playful, chatty style that eases into the serious stuff. I like a positive collaborative approach, rather than a more serious dynamic that leans  towards humiliation and negative feedback. That’s absolutely not a criticism – a lot of submissives love that style – but it’s not a natural one for me. Despite that I think we ended up having an enjoyable session.

Foot fetishism doesn’t do much for me, but I do love scent play, so having An Li smoosh her sweaty feet in my face while smacking me in the balls was pretty hot. There was also some nicely judged flogging, spanking and caning thrown into the mix, along with some some leather and chain bondage. I particularly enjoyed An Li’s approach to jangling chains and throwing them down hard on the floor. That creates a very evocative sound which really catches the attention, particularly when you’re naked and bent over a piece of dungeon furniture.

This image is from Mistress An Li’s website.  If you’re in the LA area and want to play in person then her session information is here. Alternatively, you can buy her clips here and see her social media posts here.

In Praise of the Pits

Getting older inevitably means there are more and more things I don’t understand. My brain can only fit so much and our culture endlessly creates more and more stuff. I’m at peace with this. What really puzzles me are the things that I’ve known for years and never understood. Like the social pressure for women to remove armpit hair. As this articles highlights, it’s kind of a thing for a lot of people. I get that from an aesthetic perspective a great bushy undergrowth might be best avoided, but what’s wrong with a little scrub? I’ve never understood why totally bare is seen as normal.

I actually feel the same way about pubic hair. I’ve had dommes in the past get slightly annoyed that I’m not completely clean shaven around the genital region, which always tends to provoke a kind of reverse Costanza in me – “Is that wrong? Should I have done something about that? I tell ya, I’ve got to plead ignorance on this thing.”

This is Mistress Youko, a Japanese pro-domme, with a sexy armpit image posted to her twitter feed. Interestingly doing an image search for something like ‘femdom armpit’ produces an endless stream of denuded pits. Hair like this is definitely the exception, not the rule.

The Philosophers Stone

Alchemists believed that there was a mystical substance that could transmute any element into any other element – the Philosophers Stone. The medieval theory for this was that the stone was formed from the intrinsic material of the world, the fundamental base that all other things were made from, and hence provided a means to dissolve and reconstitute materials as the alchemist desired. Since most alchemists got funding by pitching get-rich-quick schemes to wealthy patrons, that typically meant turning lead into gold.

Sadly the philosophers stone doesn’t exist, but the concept got me thinking about it in the context of kinky activities and sexual desire. I like a lot of different activities, which on the face of it are all fairly different. Being hit with sticks is very different to having needles pushed through the skin, which is very different to being pissed on. I enjoy them all, but why? Is there a common element that might not be obvious but that underpins their appeal? Do kinky people have a personal philosopher’s stone?

I’m sure some of you at this point are thinking – “What’s this idiot talking about? Obviously female domination is the key underlying element. Hasn’t he looked at his site name recently?” That’s fair but I think wrong. From a personal perspective there are lot of femdom scenes that do nothing for me. For example, punishment scenes, interrogations, pony play, foot worship, ABDL, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who unconditionally likes femdom in all its different forms. It’s too broad an area. The same argument applies to pain. I like it, but only in certain contexts. I’m not someone who enjoys a good beating for its own sake. I also enjoy scenes that don’t feature pain, so that can’t be the intrinsic element to my kink.

It was actually the picture below that gave me a clue to what I think is my fundamental base kink – contrasts. I love activities that clash contrasting dynamics. Sensual sadism, caring objectification, tease and denial, restriction with sensory overload. Cuckolding is hot as it combines love with betrayal. Punishment beatings are not because I associate them purely with negative emotions. Watersports are hot as they combine intimacy with objectification. Ballbusting is not (to me) as it seems predominantly about taking pain. In the case of the picture below it’s the contrast of beauty with severity. It’s the delicate feminine features of Lady Mephista set against the severe colors and form of her military outfit.

I think this is interesting, because understanding the basis for desires helps you to explore them. It gives me a clue about what else I might like, or how I could modify scenes to work better. I might not enjoy ballbusting on its own, but maybe doing it as a giggling schoolgirl roleplay – with the domme having fun teasing and picking on me – would add the contrast I’d need to make it work.

Does anyone else think they have a kinky philosophers stone? A base element that might not be immediately obvious but that threads through all their fantasies and play scenes?

Lady Mephista is a Berlin based domme whose professional site can be found here.

Bonding

Netfix has a new show coming out later this month that might appeal to the typical reader of this blog. It’s called ‘Bonding’ and, as described by Netflix, it’s the story of a New York City grad student moonlighting as a dominatrix who enlists her gay BFF to be her assistant. You can see the Netflix intro here and a trailer for it here.

I find the premise a little odd, despite the fact it’s apparently based on the real life experiences of actor Rightor Doyle. I know of pro-dommes who have behind the scenes assistants to clean their studio or run errands. I also know that offering ‘forced’ bi scenes requires the occasional stunt cock or two. However, generally speaking, I get the impression that an obvious male presence in a pro-domme business wouldn’t be at all popular. Clients are often nervous about their privacy and sharing their kinks. It’s a very intimate thing. A male assistant sounds like a total business killer. I’d  suspect that the number of men who hire dommes and also have fantasies about the domme’s nervous gay BFF showing up in their scenes is non-zero but very small.

On the plus side, Zoe Levin does look great as the domme. There’s also a chance it might be a mainstream series that shows kinky sex in a funny but positive light. So I’m definitely willing to give it a shot and hope for the best.

In Your Face

I hadn’t intended my last entry – featuring pony play artwork – to be the start of a sequence of posts where I like the imagery a lot more than specific activity itself. However, that might be where we’re heading.

This image is from Mistress Blunt, and I love it, despite not really being into feet or foot worship. It’s very intimate, sinuous and sexual, while still retaining that D/s dynamic. The tweet was tagged as #romance, and that seems very appropriate. If feet in my face has to be a thing, this would undoubtedly be my favorite way to do it.

Mistress Blunt is an NYC based pro-domme.

Cute Toilet

It’s not often I find myself using the word cute in connection with a toilet play scene, but I guess this post will have to be the exception. The image below is Bastienne Cross on her rather unique toilet, found via this tweet. You can see another angle of the table like toilet in this image (from this tweet), with the subby’s feet just sticking out at the top. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dungeon toilet design quite like this one.

Where most people take a book to the bathroom, Bastienne obviously prefers bubbles.

Bastienne Cross is a Toronto based pro-domme.

Tease and Arghhhh!

Here’s a question for my male readers: What could possibly be the problem with a beautiful woman in exciting fetish garments, tying you down and then gently teasing and caressing you? The answer –  at least in my specific case this evening – is if the aforementioned woman has already sutured your foreskin closed, creating a tightly packaged penis parcel. In that situation your dick will try and do its best alien chest bursting impersonation, only to be thwarted by several strands of thin suture thread. The end result is less gory than the classic John Hurt scene, but the amount of screaming is about the same. It’s a situation where you really don’t want to pop a stitch.

The instigator of this pleasure/pain combination was Ms Savannah Sly and, although it may not necessarily sound like it, we had a wonderful scene tonight. There were also needles, staples and electrics involved at various points.  It’s always a fun time when the activity list sounds more like a trip to the ER than a kinky scene. Although I doubt many doctors would giggle quite so much when sticking a staple into my nipple.

This image is of Ms Savannah Sly brandishing another sharp pointy toy. You can see more of her via her twitter feed.

Enjoy the Glove

I think this is one of those images that’s both not pornographic and yet incredibly sexual all at the same time. There’s just a pair of gloves, a glimpse of a shoulder and a sleeved arm, yet it conjures in the imagination all manner deliciously dirty invasive medical fantasies. I can almost hear the snap as the glove is pulled tightly into place. Take a deep breath as this might hurt … quite a lot.

This is by Mistress Sade, an NYC based pro-domme. You can find her social media feed here and session information here.

#IWD

It was International Women’s Day on Friday. I have a good deal of sympathy for Miss Pearl’s point of view, expressed via this tweet…

The next person who tries to particularly make #InternationalWomensDay about #femdom is getting a lecture on fetishism of power not being inherently empowering.

If there’s going to be at least one day that isn’t about what excites men’s dicks, this would seem like a good one to start with.

On the other hand, I did really like this IWD tagged tweet from Lucy SweetKill, featuring her, Dia Dynasty, the image below and the following quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie…

Of course I am not worried about intimidating men. The type of man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the type of man I have no interest in.

I’m therefore going to claim for the purposes of this post, I’m like the telephone company, simply a transparent conduit for information. I put this all before you, make of it what you will.

Treasure of a Different Kind

I’ve written in the past about the correlation between pro-domme tribute rates and session quality (i.e. there isn’t any). Mistress Servalan has an interesting take on the same topic in this series of tweets. She notes that she keeps her rates at the lower end of the average because…

1 – I genuinely love to play & love longer sessions. I would rather be in the dungeon than pretty much anything.
2 – I like to play with all different types of people. Some of my favourite subs scrimp and save for their sessions, some don’t have to….
Which leads to….
3 – Many of my play partners view my offical tribute as a starting point. If they are able to contribute more they do.

I think that’s a wonderful and very generous approach approach to take. It reminds me a little of the famous slogan from Marx – “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” Although arguably the same view also traces back to the New Testament.

I did some basic currency conversion math on Mistress Servalan’s tribute rate. For a 3 hour session, her $700 Australian translates into around $500 US. Which is insanely great value for such a talented domme. I’ve played with a lot of US based dommes whose hourly rate alone is around that number. If you are lucky enough to play with Mistress Servalan, and you’re not scrimping and saving, then I really hope you’re tipping way over the odds. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look up the cost of Seattle to Sydney flights.

This is from Mistress Servalan’s twitter feed, and features her lovely metal headcage created by Fetters. Oddly enough, they’re based just a few miles from where I grew up in England. So I’m sitting in Seattle, writing about a pro-domme in Sydney, featuring a company based in my childhood home of Warwickshire. Small world.