Pro-domme – Page 36 – Femdom Resource

FYI

Just for your information, while I love getting comments and emails, I’m not the fastest in the world at responding to them. I try and respond to comments within a couple of days, but detailed emails can take a week or so. Job + Blog + Friends + Sleep = 24 hours. That doesn’t leave me much time to write emails, so I apologize in advance if your response is delayed. If I ever manage to fit dating or a relationship into that equation it might involve some fundamental rewriting of the laws of physics. Possibly that could lead to a new form of interstellar travel, but more likely it’ll just mean the end of the universe. So I also apologize in advance if that happens just when you’re finally getting to a good bit. I’ll try not to do it right before a weekend.

Perhaps an alternative solution to this equation would be for me to multitask better. For example, this gentleman appears to be combining cleaning the floor with washing his face. That has got to cut down on wasted washroom time.

The lady helping the gentleman with his ablutions is Mistress Lauren.

When in doubt, go for ambiguity

I was planning something different for tonight’s post. A radical new approach. I was thinking of writing something nuanced, well reasoned and insightful on the inherent complexities and contradictions of femdom. I’ve never tried it before, but I thought it might just work. Then I went out with friends and ate lots of middle eastern food and drank way too many cocktails. Plus a bottle of wine or two. So right now I’m lucky if I can spell femdom, let alone write about it.

I will therefore simply pick an interesting ambiguous image that I like. The fact it’s ambiguous saves me having to write too much. I’ll leave the interpretation to the viewer. It features the beautiful January Seraph who was kind enough to say nice things about my site.

Sit!

I love the incongruity of this scene. There’s the very 50’s style domestic setting, the elegant housewife and well loved family pet. With just one minor quirk…

I’ve personally never done any animal roleplay, but I do get the appeal. It pushes all sorts of kinky buttons. Obedience, restraint, training, collars, control, commands, etc. Pet owners are supposed to both care for their pets and also make sure they’re trained to behave appropriately. The pet itself doesn’t have to think too much, it just needs to offer love, affection and obedience. Or at least that’s the case for dogs and their human counterparts. Cats just need to look cool while swaggering around trying to conceal their disdain for the world.

The image comes from Mistress Liliane Hunt’s blog from a post on a Loup Garou Adoption Day. She’s a San Francisco based pro-domme. The pet is Tyke Puppy. I originally found the image on Selina Minx’s tumblr.

Playing the dummy

As I mentioned in previous blog posts, I was down in LA in mid-March, and got to session with Mistress Cynthia Stone. We actually did two sessions together and captured a lot of photographs. I finally had chance this weekend to write up the first of these sessions and you can read all about it on a page I’ve titled Cynthia Stone’s Tailors Dummy. I should warn you that while there’s no blood or anything too extreme, there is a lot of piercing shots and a lot of naked me. So don’t click through if that’s something you’d rather avoid looking at.

The shot below is taken from our session together. That’s me peaking out over her shoulder. At the time she’d stuffed a whole bunch of needles into my torso and then decided to sit on me. Normally having a beautiful woman wriggling around on my lap would be a good thing. Having a lot of needles through the skin adds a certain edge to that experience.

Punk, porn and femdom

After publishing my post on the AVN awards a couple of days ago, I dug a little deeper into the background of the BDSM award winner, Rubber Bordello. It looked like it was made with more humor and style than is usual for porn movies these days. I noticed it also won for the best soundtrack and best song, written by someone called Fat Mike. It took a few seconds for the penny to drop that this was the Fat Mike – founder, lead vocalist and bassist for legendary punk band NOFX. Not to mention his very entertaining side project of Me First and the Gimme Gimmes (famous for punk covers like Over The Rainbow). I’ve been a fan of his music for years, but never expected to hear a ragtime BDSM porn soundtrack from him.

It turns out his partner is Soma Snakeoil, domme, fetish model and director/writer of the movie. By all accounts Mike is a pretty kinky guy…

It’s something that I’ve always done in my life, but people think most of the stuff I write about is bullshit. “Oh, he must have made that up because there’s no way a Japanese dominatrix put out cigarettes on his nipples.” Yep, that actually happened. We probably have thirty hours of footage that didn’t make it onto Backstage Passport and it’s of me getting beat up in Japan by Japanese doms. That’s a double feature right there.

That’s taken from this interview on the background to writing the Rubber Bordello soundtrack. There’s also a more general one on his BDSM interests available here. I’m not sure if a punk musician can be described as mainstream (unless you’re Billie Joe Armstrong), but it’s nice to hear someone like him talking openly and honestly to the press about their kinky proclivities.

The image features Soma Snakeoil as the player and Perfect Miss Pixie as the cello. You can find more shots of Soma on her members website. Alternatively, if you’re in the LA region, there is the possibility of arranging a session with her.

Playing with deprivation

I’ve had some interesting sessions in the last couple of weeks playing with sensory deprivation. It’s not normally a hot-button topic for me, but I’ve grown to appreciate some of the intense experiences it can deliver. Five years ago I’d have described this type of play as weird and unappealing. All the strange leather and latex equipment seemed too fetishistic and specialized. Fast forward a couple of years and I finally figured out the appeal, but thought it was too intense for me to deal with. That’s still partly true, but I’ve improved my bottoming skills with practice. Mostly that’s due to building a rapport with Lydia and her ability to ease me gradually into difficult situations.

The first session was built around a leather sleep sack. You can see a couple of shots of me in it here and here. Firstly, Lydia wrapped my limbs and torso in plastic wrap to try and minimize contact between my body parts. She even wrapped each finger individually so I couldn’t touch my fingers together. Then I was zipped into the sleep sack and the straps around it tightened. My head got treated to a form fitting hood, a towel packed around my ears, the sleep sack hood and a layer of plastic wrap. Finally, some rope applied across the body and electrics applied to the cock finished the whole thing off.

The second session I did featured a latex vacuum bed. We didn’t snap any shots off this, but if you’ve ever seen one of those in action, you’ll have a pretty good idea of how the session unfolded. Lots of latex, tight restraint and breathplay.

One thing I found particularly interesting in both sessions was the interplay between stress and subspace. Being bound pushes me into subspace. I go quiet and a little spacey as my body gets locked down. But putting things around and over my head raises my anxiety levels and pulls me back out of subspace. My mind and my breath start racing and I have to consciously focus on not panicking. That mental effort of dealing with my instinctive stress reaction makes it hard for me to let go. What helps reverse this response is mild pain. Anything too intense just kicks up the flight or fight response, but mild pain gives me a focus. It also plays into my natural masochism and helps release the endorphins I need to zone out. A caress and a pinch in just the right place is the ultimate stress reliever for me.

Printing your own toys

One of the big new things in the techy world is 3D printing. This works pretty much exactly as it sounds. You plug the printer into your computer, and rather than an image it prints out a three dimensional shape. They’ve been around for years, but have only recently dropped into the consumer price range. They’re still not cheap, but they’re now the price of a high-end television rather than a high-end automobile.

It’s a rule of the universe that any new technology will always get adopted in some way for sex. There are obviously a lot of toy possibilities with this kind of creative tool, particularly given its ability to create highly customized one off shapes. As you’d expect, companies are springing up to target this niche. Insertable toys are tricky at present, as resolution and texture issues need to be resolved. But I’d think that BDSM toys would a great area to target, with all sorts of imaginative torture and constraint options possible.

So far the only example of printable BDSM toys I’ve found is this collar and cuff combination. It’s very crude, but you can definitely see the possibilities it opens up. Starting with that as a template, it’d be interesting to personalize it by adding your own patterns and designs into the basic shape. You could even create special collars for particular events, anniversaries or certain types of play sessions. If you could imagine it, you could create it.

I’ll leave you with a shot of someone wearing a slightly more conventional collar arrangement courtesy of Mistress Alex in NYC.

I found this on the Musing of a Mistress tumblr.

Christmas balls

I wrote last week about the fun I had being turned into a Christmas tree. It turns out that Lydia wasn’t the only domme feeling inspired by the season. Louca Brazzi has written up an entertaining review of a session he did with Mistress Tess that featured a red striped ass getting pinned with some sparkly Christmas balls. Mistress Tess even captured a photograph of his nicely decorated posterior. They say it’s the season of giving. Clearly in this case it gave her a fun session idea and him a very sore bottom!

It’d be a crime to mention the beautiful Mistress Tess and not take the opportunity to feature a photograph. This one shows her with some of her more interesting looking toys.

Mistress Tess is a NYC based pro-domme. You can find information on her interests and scheduling sessions at her site.

The Victorian Christmas Tree

Lydia has been pretty busy with her Land of the Sweets show leading up to Christmas. Fortunately I managed to grab some time with her on a rare night off, and we indulged in a suitably festive get together.

My only suggestion prior to the session was that we might use her bondage chair. Other than that I had no idea what she’d planned. As soon as I saw the disposable blue medical cloth on the chair I guessed piercing might be involved, but I was a little puzzled by the lengths of festive ribbon piled close by. It quickly became apparent that she was feeling in a decorative mood, and intended to pin the ribbons to me like an old fashioned Christmas tree.

The end result can be seen in the shot below. A more colorful version (taken with flash on) can be seen here. I lost track of how many needles were used, but I’d guess it was at least 50. As is often the way with these kind of sessions there was a nice rhythm to it as each ribbon was positioned and pinned. There was also a pleasant feeling of objectification, a focus on my body but not me. It’s both intimate, as she’s working very closely on me, and yet distancing, as she concentrates on getting the ribbon just how she wanted it. You can see a couple more close-up shots of the needles with ribbons here and here.

She capped everything off with a ribbon that ran from ear to ear and sported a big bow on top of my head. This was held with ear piercings and a needle through the scalp at around the hairline. The skin is really thin at that point, so it hurt going in and bled a lot coming out. Unfortunately I can’t really show you the best shot we got, which was me giggling like an idiot while the blood dripped down my face. However, I can share this after shot, which shows some of the body marks left and the dripping blood on the side of my nose.

All in all it was a great way to celebrate the festive season and I’m endlessly grateful to Lydia for taking the time to put together such an imaginative session. Not to mention that I’ve now got a great image to put on all my Christmas cards! I’m sure everyone will be happy to have this on their mantlepiece over the holidays.

Getting plastered

Domina Victoria Rage has an interesting post up about a scene she did involving a full plaster of Paris body cast.

For over an hour he held still, waiting patiently in near breathless anticipation as each layer was applied. I was happy to see how quickly it hardened into an ever expanding prison of white. As the minutes ticked by, more and more of him became enveloped and secured, he was stiffened, no movement in his feet or legs, his torso, arms or fingers…. just stillness. All that was left was his neck and his head, and he was SO eager for me to finish the job.
Inescapably Mine by Domina Victoria Rage

With his head and body fully encased she then goes on to do some breathplay, repeatedly cutting off his only lifeline to the outside world.

A few years ago I might have read that post and thought ‘So what?’ I lie still for hours at a time every night in the dark, and I can hold my breath. There’s no pain, so what’s the big deal? Now I’m a touch older and a touch wiser. There’s a big difference between choosing not to move and not being able to move. It takes considerable mental strength to give-up this kind of control for hours at a time.

I love breathplay and bondage, and I’d be fascinated to try this kind of scene out, but it would definitely stress me. There’s very little room for compromise or adaptation. There are no ropes to loosen or hoods to unzip. The submissive either immerses himself into it or the scene is broken. And if he does succumb to panic, it’s not going to be a particularly quick process to cut the plaster away. It takes a lot of trust on the part of the submissive and a very fine degree of judgement on the part of the dominant to pull this kind of thing off.

Victoria Rage is a Seattle based pro-domme. You can visit her professional site here, and read the rest of her blog here.