Tag: Pro-domme

DomCon 2024

DomCon LA just wrapped up and – as is their tradition – there was a big group shot of all the dommes. Or at least all those who were comfortable appearing on camera. The copy below is shrunk to fit my format, but you can see the original fullsize version by sweet girl julia here.

I’ve featured these shots before (e.g. 2019 here) and I always enjoy them. It reminds me of what a big wide world it is and how many kinky people are out there. Although I spend a lot of time in online kinky spaces (twitter, tumblr, blogs like this, pro-domme sites, etc.) I still tend to see a lot of the same faces and names. It’s only natural – the human brain can only handle so many connections. Seeing a shot like this, where I recognize very few people, is a good reminder of the bigger picture.

Originally posted in this tweet. If you’d like to support the photographer of all these shots over the years then the tweet also has her cashapp info.

The Queen Archetype

The Queen femdom archetype is the fourth and final one defined by Mistress Damiana Chi. It’s probably the one with the biggest gap between it’s depiction online in pro-domme advertising and its actual usage.

Online it’s a fantasy depicted everywhere – the regal and superior domme who is so much better than all you lowly servant types. In a pro-domme sessions it would seem harder to work with. It needs a servant type dynamic, where seems easier in a more organic lifestyle set-up. The mainstream depiction of pro-domme lifestyle – where they lounge around sneering at dutiful minions as they clean their house and peel grapes – rarely seems to work out in reality.

This regal figure is Mistress Luna May. She’s a pro-domme based in Heidelberg, Germany. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.

The Seductress Archetype

Continuing my series of posts on the Femdom Archetypes, we get to the seductress – the second one listed in Mistress Damiani Chi’s new book.

It’s an archetype as old as history. The famous Sirens of the Odyssey date to around the 8th century BC, but they were no doubt part of a much older storytelling tradition. Likely to the first man who fell for a beautiful woman and lived to regret it.

In modern femdom culture, the kink I associate most closely with the seductress is tease and denial. The lure of sensuality and beauty, hiding the hook of frustration. It therefore makes sense to feature a domme who excels both in seduction and that particular kink – Mistress Iris. She recently tweeted a lovely short video that combines sensual transformation and seduction. It’s well worth a watch. The image below was also shared via her twitter account. It’s a look guaranteed to cause most men – not just Greek sailors – to leap to their doom when called.

You can find more from Mistress Iris via twitter, her patreon and her mindful surrender site.

Finally, I couldn’t do a post mentioning Sirens without linking to Oglaf’s take on them – see here and here. Who wouldn’t go for some extra fucky Nymph water?

The Dominatrix Archetypes

If you’re a fan of guidebooks and learning more about BDSM then you might enjoy this new release – The Dominatrix Archetypes by Mistress Damiana Chi. I’ve not read it yet myself but I’ve played with Mistress Damiana several times in the past (including just a few weeks ago) and I know her to be a very skilled domme. She’s been a successful pro-domme in LA for many years now, so she’s doubtless got a lot of insight to share.

From her description of the book…

If you are a Woman who is a lifestyle or professional Dominatrix or you want to become one, this book will show you how to REVOLUTIONIZE THE WAY YOU DOMINATE.

If you are a submissive, you will also gain tremendous value from reading this book. You will learn about what you should and deserve to experience with an ethical, conscious Dominatrix.

You can find it on Amazon or via its official site.

Aftermath

One of my favorite candid shots is the post-session one. There’s a lot of inherent ambiguity in them. You know there was some probably some intense and high energy event that just happened, but you don’t know exactly what or how it unfolded. We’re just left guessing from the aftermath.

This is a great example, posted by Maîtresse Blanche. It was taken after ‘a big lesson’. We can only guess at what that might have been, but I’m sure it was appreciated by all those involved.

Maîtresse Blanche is a pro-domme based in France. You can find her professional site here and her Twitter feed here.

Back in Tinseltown

I’m in LA for a few days, which has allowed me to sneak in some kinky fun. Unusually, I resisted the urge to book a ton of sessions, but I did renew my acquaintance with the immensely talented Mistress Damiana Chi. We did a lot of bondage with some electrics, needles and general sadism layer on top. I also got to enjoy her fancy Fetters bondage chair in the Chi Temple, which worked really well for tease & denial play.

One interesting but surprising thing was the measurements my Oura ring took during the session. If you’ve not seen one of these wearables, it’s basically an unobtrusive way to measure heart rate, blood oxygen levels, sleep patterns, steps, etc. I assumed it’d show a pretty elevated heart rate throughout. Instead, after starting off at around my usual level, it dropped significantly for the first hour or so of the session! It then gradually climbed after than and peaked pretty high in the last 30 minutes or so when Mistress Damiana really upped the intensity.

That initial drop-off was very counter-intuitive, as I generally feel in a heightened and excited state throughout a session. In fact, it thought I was so relaxed, it asked if it should add a 45 minute nap to my activity log! I’m guessing this was linked to when we were setting the initial bondage up. Mistress Damiana had me on a suspended padded board, held in place with plastic wrap and then several layers of rope on top. That pushed me into subspace pretty quickly which presumably dropped my heart rate. That, combined with me being horizontal and immobile, must have made it think I was napping. There’s little danger of that happening when attractive ladies are attaching nipple clamps!

This image of Mistress Damiana Chiwas sourced via her twitter feed. You can find links to all her primary sites here.

The Little Things

I’ve mixed feelings about this image. While I love everything that’s going on, it makes me feel old. That’s because the thing that initially caught my eye wasn’t the sexy layered bondage. Nor was it the intense leather hood. It wasn’t even Natalie Noir’s delicate stocking clad foot. No. It was that cushion behind his head. I immediately thought “What a considerate touch! Sure that makes it more comfortable for longer periods.”

In all seriousness, for heavy bondage, it’s amazing how much it can help to have an appropriately placed cushion. Particularly for under the knees and behind the head. It might not fit the hardcore bondage fantasy, but for those of us with tight muscles and screwy backs it can make the difference between success and failure in a scene.

Sourced from this tweet on Natalie Noir’s Twitter feed. She’s a Zurich based pro-domme whose primary website can be found here.

Mommy Issues

It’s Mother’s Day in the US. That can mean only one thing: My social media feeds full of people leaning heavily into the mommy domme kink. While everyone else is figuring out where to get flowers and what spots are still open for brunch, kinksters are figuring out how to make it freaky.

I’m certainly not opposed to this. It can be a hot dynamic. I just find it odd how quickly this particularly one has moved from very niche to kinky mainstream. A decade or so ago, it was something I rarely saw outside of the handful of dommes who specialized in it. Now it seems to have become just another kink that people will casually lean into. Was there always pent up interest that wasn’t being addressed? Or has the internet’s tendency to normalize things created interest that wasn’t there before?

Whatever the answer to that, it does give me an excuse to feature someone who always maximizes mommy, whatever day it is. That’s NYC pro-domme Mistress Blunt. This year she’s even given a class on it (available online).

You can find more from Mistress Blunt via her Twitter feed and links page.

Session Time

Interesting thread here by Lady Vi on how she feels session time should be measured. In her view negotiation and aftercare is very much part of the scheduled session time, not something that happens outside it. She therefore always allows at least 15 minutes before the session ends for that aftercare and clean-up process.

Obviously every pro-domme runs her sessions how she sees fit. Totally not my place to suggest differently. However, I will make a few observations from my experience on the client side.

Firstly, while that approach is the most common one, it’s not entirely universal. I’ve sessioned with experienced dommes who used most of the booked time for play and let aftercare spill beyond that. They presumably built that fact into their schedules and their pricing structure.

Secondly, because there’s not a single approach, it can be confusing when playing with different dommes. My first domme used to play for almost all of the scheduled time, so I assumed that was the standard. I was confused and a little put out when I played with others and found that it wasn’t common. Of course I adjusted my expectations in time, but what a domme might have assumed was entitlement on my part was really just differing experiences.

Finally, there is the risk of feeling shortchanged if the aftercare period wraps up quicker than expected. Miss Grey makes this point in a tweeted reply. I’ve walked out of some sessions feeling buzzed, looked at my watch and realized there was theoretically 10+ minutes of session time left. That’s a quick way to lose the buzz.

Personally, I like the approach Miss Grey adopts. I’d rather pay a higher hourly rate and allow some flexibility on the time for aftercare. To draw a slightly odd analogy, I think of it a bit like the bonus dishes that a fine dining restaurant may send out. Logically, you know you’re still paying for them as part of the overall charge, but it creates a happy positive energy when you get them.

This shot of Miss Grey and friend is from her website. She’s an SF based pro-domme and disciplinarian.

More Hood

A lot of shots featuring hoods look terrible because they’re obviously just being used to conceal the submissive’s face. I get the logic of that but it typically ruins the image for me. It’s hard to enjoy  a kinky scene if one of the participants is embarrassed to be seen doing it.

This lovely image from Natalie Noir shows how a hood can be used whilst still making the shot work aesthetically and erotically. There’s a cohesive design to it that makes sense of the hood. I particularly love the little locks on the chin strap.

Natalie Noir is a Zurich based pro-domme. You can find her professional site here and her twitter feed here.