Slave – Page 38 – Femdom Resource

Aggression is sexy

Seeing this image made me realize how few femdom images show expressions of simple aggression. There are a lot of smiling sadists, haughty stares and dismissive sneers, but not a lot like this shot. Personally, while I’m not a fan of angry domination, I do enjoy seeing controlled aggression. It suggest an emotional engagement with the scene and activity, not simply someone going through the motions. In this case her expression, coupled with the black glove, rope leash and bowed submissive, create a nice sense of focused energy.

I found this image on the She Rules Me tumblr. The dominant looks really familiar – a West coast pro-domme I think – but I just can’t place her name. If you can help with an identity feel free to leave a comment.

Update: Thanks to my knowledgeable readers I can identify the lady in question as Mika Tan. Her name was on the tip of my tongue I swear!

It’s not a competitive sport

There’s sometimes an unfortunate undercurrent to BDSM discussions that equates ‘better’ with more extreme and more edgy. A subtle suggestion that a bottom who can take a lot of pain or do more spectacular activities is somehow a superior type of bottom.

I think I can understand the mechanism by which this happens. Most kinky people like to push their own personal limits. They want to take six more hits, achieve that more strenuous position, wear the device one more week, get deeper into subspace. Part of the skill of being a top is figuring out just how far to push – up to the line but not too far beyond it. This creates personal goals, which can get all too easily fitted into a social hierarchical. My goals will always be someone else’s achievements. And if I’m aspiring to achieve something, then it becomes easy to think of the person who has already achieved it as being somehow more successful.

Of course understanding how it happens, doesn’t mean it’s not bullshit. The goal is to achieve personal satisfaction and happiness. Not win a ‘Who can slam their dick in the drawer the hardest’ competition. Everybody processes information and sensations differently. Being born with a higher pain threshold, or greater tolerance to extreme situations, doesn’t make you a better bottom. Good communication, empathy, understanding of personal boundaries, self-knowledge and a willingness to experiment are all characteristics of good bottoms. The ability to shove large things in small orifices, or survive sharp things applied at high speed, doesn’t feature in there at all.

The image features one of my favorite activities – biting. I’m afraid I don’t have an original attribution for it. I found it on the Dishevelled Domina tumblr.

A push and a pinch

Something nice and simple tonight. Just a couple of smiles, a push with one hand and a pinch with the other. They look like they’re having fun.

I found this on the tumblr of Ms Savannah Sly, a local (from my perspective) Seattle pro-domme. I’d love to have an original attribution for it, so if you know the photographer or the models then please leave me a comment.

Labeling the world

I received an interesting comment recently on my Femdom Images page. It was from the curator of the Work Is Never Over tumblr and related to my tumblr categorization. Until today the two options were ‘Femdom’ (i.e. All those featuring pictures with a dominant woman somewhere in there) or ‘BDSM and fetish’ (i.e. Anything else I liked that didn’t fit in the first category). Since her tumblr focused heavily on male submissives it ended up in the second group. You can read her entire comment here, but the essence of it was her ambivalence to the categorization.

I’m not sure how to feel about not being categorized as a “femdom” blog— on the one hand, waaa, visibility! (Not to mention: I *am* a female dominant. Hmf. 😉 )
But on the other hand… I despise standard femdom imagery (“Femdom™”)— hence my blog— and I’m distinctly proud that my blog is recognizably different enough from that to have not made it into that list! 😀
(Of course, on the third hand, I always kind of hope that people looking for Femdom™ would come across my blog and see that it doesn’t have to look like that. I guess I’m back to that first hand! XD )

My first thought was how great a three handed domme would actually be. She could tease, tickle and torture you all at once! But stretched metaphors aside, she raised a good point. I’m personally not against a bit of stereotypical femdom imagery now and again. It’s popular for a reason. At the same time I recognize the huge imbalance in the type of material that’s floating around out there. And I’m very much in favor of people who are venturing into femdom being able to find material that will attract them and represent how they might want to play. You don’t need to pull on a thousand dollars of fetish gear, convert the spare room into a dungeon and plaster a sneer onto your face to experiment with female dominance. My goal on this site has always been to provide an interesting mix of material that will have broad appeal (to no doubt mixed success).

In an effort to categorize better I’ve therefore split the tumblr section into 4 rather than 2 sections: General femdom, dominant focused, submissive focused, and BDSM/fetish. These are obviously very imprecise labels, and tumblrs are typically not single themes, but hopefully they’ll provide at least a little guidance when searching for particular types of material. It’ll also give me a chance to expand the submissive focused section which, as a male submissive, I suspect I’ve neglected in the past.

I’ll leave you with an image I liked from the tumblr in question (originally from Men in Pain). It captures a nice moment of connection.

City view. Two bedrooms. Whipping on request.

I’m sort-of looking for a new place to live. I say ‘sort-of’ because there’s a high inertia factor involved. I’d love a fabulous penthouse condo with a great view, but lacking the several million dollars required for that, I tend to default to not moving at all. Of course if zillow actually listed the places I was likely to get a whipping from my neighbors, then maybe I’d be a little more incentivized. My current neighbor certainly glares a lot, but that really doesn’t do much for me masochistically speaking. Offer me a coffee, scrambled eggs and a whipping from the lady across the street and I’ll be onboad any fixer upper that’s going.

This image is from the very talented Camille MM. Her site has a number of free images available, as well as a much larger collection available via the membership section.

First date

I hate first dates. Not dating itself. Just the starting part. I dislike the carefully choreographed dance of over-thought emails needed to set-up a suitable meeting. I worry about how and if I should slide the topic of kink into the conversation. The cynical mathematician living in my brain computes the worldwide ratio of first dates to successful relationships and whispers that I’m probably wasting my time. Most of all, I hate the uncertainty of the end. Do we hug, kiss or fuck? Seeing as I’m British I sometimes settle for shaking hands, which might help explain why I’m still single.

I need to meet up with a few more ladies like the one in the drawing by Rodzo below. The man might not be all that comfortable. The whip might be painful. Oxygen could start to be an issue. But at least he doesn’t have to worry about that awkward moment on her doorstep at the end of the evening.

Wanted: Mänskliga Fotpall

Yesterday I received one of the more unusual comments I’ve ever had. It was from a Sandra Lindqvist, a researcher for a Swedish TV company, looking to find people to help them with a documentary.

We are currently working on a documentary series called “Fråga Olle-dokumentären” (“Ask Olle about sex – documentary”) about sex, love and relationships for Swedish Channel 5
…
One topic we would like to cover in our documentary is ”Human Furniture” – Forniphilia
…
I was wondering if you know any Mistresses or just some people that are practicing this? We are going to UK next Wednesday for a couple of days and we really want to meet and do a segment with someone about this when we are there.

Given I haven’t visited Sweden in years, and don’t speak the language, I’ve unsurprisingly never heard of the series. I’m guessing that this is the homepage for it. And while I have featured forniphilia a few times in the past, I wouldn’t describe it as a major kink of mine. The fantasy is kind of fun, but I suspect I’d quickly get bored of the reality.

Anyway, if you’re in the UK (or I assume Sweden), into forniphilia at all and feel you could help out, then I suggest giving Sandra an email. The only forniphilia experts I know of offhand are House of Gord, and they’re US based and maledom.

While I can’t help out directly, the comment does at least give me an excuse to feature a couple of interesting images on the theme. The first features Mistress Alex combining public humiliation, objectification and the morning paper. The second is by David Blázquezz, one of a series of similar images he shot for an exhibition. The shelving construction in the series is particularly impressive.

Loving submissive men

I was browsing the blog ‘Tits and Sass‘ over the weekend when I came across this article. If you’ve not encountered it before, the blog itself is run by sex workers and provides all sorts of commentary and links relevant to their industry. The article in question is by Paris Lee, a former dancer and cam girl, and describes her decision first to get and then to get rid of breast implants. It’s not at all femdom related and, although I found it interesting to read her perspective, I had no plans to blog about it. Until I read her short sign-off section…

Paris lives in Ohio and loves ferrets, dogs, and submissive men…

When I saw that it struck me just how unusual it was. Outside of dedicated D/s and BDSM blogs, I don’t think I’ve ever see that before. The article in question may have been related to sex work, but it had nothing to do with kink or submission. Paris just decided that loving submissive men was a fact about herself worth sticking in that brief biographical sign-off paragraph. I’m glad she did (and does), but it’s kind of depressing to realize just how surprising it was to see that sentence. I probably shouldn’t hold my breath to spot it in a match profile anytime soon.

I’ll leave you with a shot that might encourage more women to adopt a similar sentiment. He looks just so damn cute and perky. I hope she has a treat available if he behaves himself.

This image is originally from the CBT and Ballbusting site. I found it on the Femdom Archive tumblr.

Happy anniversary to me

I was so busy last week dealing with various travel and family issues I didn’t notice this site had reached its two year anniversary. The first post was September 23rd 2010. Since that time I’ve published 738 posts, received 1,607 approved comments and 10,520 spam ones. In the first month of the sites life I had a grand total of 153 unique visitors drop by. By way of contrast, just in the last month I saw 100,000 unique visitors come by for around 200,000 visits. I find those numbers pretty astonishing, particularly given the random nonsense from my brain that gets posted here every day.

When I started the site I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d get out of it or how long it’d last. I really just wanted an outlet for a side of myself that got very limited expression in my daily life. But what has really inspired me to keep the posts flowing is the interaction I’ve had with all my great kinky readers. I’ve received a fantastic collection of comments and emails from sources such as femdom artists, pro-dommes, equipment makers, BDSM writers, fellow bloggers and loads of people out there just looking for some kinky fun in their lives. So a big thank you to all my readers and everyone who I’ve interacted with over the past couple of years. You’ve made creating this site a real pleasure.

I’ll leave you with a suitably appropriate image from Kami Tora. It was done originally for the one year anniversary of his fan site. Hopefully he won’t object to its re-use here.

Triple threat

They say that problems come in threes. This image seems like a perfect illustration of that theory. I’m not sure exactly whose butt we’re looking at on the right, but it’s pretty clear he’s going to have three big incoming ‘problems’ pretty soon. Although they also say that every problem is also an opportunity. I can’t say I’d object to having to deal with these kind of opportunities.