Slave – Page 9 – Femdom Resource

Tip of the taint

Here’s my BDSM tip of the day: If you’re looking for a particularly painful place to drip candle wax, then the taint is a great go to area. It’s even more painful than the balls or the cock. I acquired this information first hand courtesy of Lydia. I think I may be washing bits of wax out of odd crevices for days to come.

This image doesn’t feature that particular area of the body, but it does have rope, tender nipples and chest waxing, which also featured in my evenings entertainment. This is Bobbi Starr in a shoot for Divine Bitches.

Beware the phantom toe sucker

Women shopping for shoes in Walmart should watch out. If a gentleman claims to be a podiatry student or a producer of America’s funniest home videos then it’s possible he’s not being entirely truthful. If he starts sucking your toes, he’s almost certainly not who he claims to be.

Scott Adams once wrote that he assumed all shoe salesmen are secret foot fetishists, because they’d obviously agree to do the job for less money than a non-fetishist. Presumably the two geniuses in the above articles couldn’t pass the interview for that job, and had to resort to more underhand methods.

I’m afraid I don’t know who photographed this happy lady and her foot admirer. I’m personally not particularly into feet, but I do like her smile. I found it on the Alternative Femdom tumblr.

Sharing her toy

Here’s a piece of art that I suspect will divide my readers into two distinct groups of ‘love it’ and ‘hate it’. I’m in the former, as I love the connection between her and the submissive. There’s his plaintive look, the eye contact, her hand on his head and his hand around her thigh. Pure man on man action doesn’t do much for me, but add a feminine element into the mix and somehow it works. I know for others the prospect of sweaty man sex is always a deal breaker.

The image puts me in mind of a story called Basement Suite by Orestes. If you like the image you might want to check that out. And if you like that story, I’d also suggest Equal Partners by the same author. That has similar themes with some cross dressing and forced feminization thrown into the mix.

The image is signed ‘Galuss’, but I’m afraid I’ve failed to track down any information at all on that artist. The only examples I’ve found with similar names look completely different in style. If you know anything about the artist then please leave me a comment. I found it originally on the Felm Cyber tumblr.

A pinch in a cage

Plan A for today’s post was to write up my experiences with Mistresses Yuki and Ai-Li from last weekend. Unfortunately I invested too much time in the creation of competitive interactive multimedia experiences (i.e. playing videogames on my couch) and it’s now too late for that. So Plan B became find something interesting on tumblr and post that.

I picked a few tumblrs completely at random, and followed a few links at random, and within a few minutes I spotted a post with the beautiful shots below. I loved the severity of the cage and the hood combined with the tenderness of the pinch and hand on the head. Something about the space seemed familiar however, as did the dominant. Could that actually be Yuki? Sure enough, a quick check on her tumblr showed that it was. Millions of erotic tumblr images floating around and that’s the one I stumble across to post. I’ve actually played in that space, and I think it’s the same cage that’s behind me in this shot. Small, small world.

Ban Bossy

Sheryl Sandberg (the Facebook COO) has launched a campaign to ban the use of the word ‘bossy’. There’s a website and a video that features famous women such as Beyoncé and Condoleezza Rice. The reaction from the press has been varied, with a few positive articles (like this one), but a much larger number of negative ones. Some of those have been reasonable, and instead wanted to reclaim the word, others have been so stupid I think I killed braincells just reading them.

Personally I like the campaign. Although I don’t think it matters if the word gets shunned or reclaimed. History has shown plenty of successful examples of both cases. I just like the fact that it’s being discussed and people may become more thoughtful of how language can shape expectations or behavior. In my part of the business world, even ‘boss’ doesn’t really get used these days, except perhaps occasionally in an ironic context. People are described as managers or leaders, all words with positive associations. The word ‘boss’ has a negative edge, and the word ‘bossy’ is both negative and highly gendered.

Of course, wearing my kinky hat (handkerchief? handcuffs?), I’m a big fan of the type of woman that might occasionally get labeled today as bossy. Anytime I hear someone describe a female friend as bossy my ears perk up and I start making subtle inquiries into her dating and relationship status. It’s up there with feisty, aggressive and intelligent as great trigger words to pitch to me on any attempted blind date set-up.

This forceful and articulate woman, shown here demonstrating a strong leadership role in her relationship, is from the Subby Hubby site. I originally found the image on the CFNM classics tumblr.

Just a quickee

Apologies for the lack of posts in the last few days. I’m on vacation (again) down in San Francisco (again). Unfortunately, I’ve caught some random bug that’s given me a sore throat, congested sinuses and a fuzzy head. If there’s one thing more annoying that getting sick, it’s getting sick on vacation. Possibly this is the universe’s way of restoring karmic balance. I was just having too many fun vacations, so it was time to spoil one.

Anyway, vacations and sickness are two things that tend to interrupt blogging. This is just a quick post to keep the blog ticking over. So while I go hunt down my last Ricola throat lozenge, I’ll leave you with an image I spotted on the Girl Rule, Subs Drool tumblr. No real connection to anything. Just something I liked and thought I’d share.

Perversity (of the wrong kind)

Most of my posts tend to the positive and upbeat. This one might be a bit more of a rant. Let’s put a nicer spin on it, and call it constructive feedback. It’s aimed squarely at dominants and centers on something that has happened to me too many times to be a coincidence.

Here’s my ~~rant~~ feedback: When you’re playing with someone fairly new, and that person has outlined a few limits (hard or soft) to stay away from, then stay the hell away from those limits. Don’t try and figure out exactly where the line is drawn. Don’t try and determine exactly what about the activity makes it a limit. Don’t toy with anything vaguely related. Just avoid, avoid, avoid.

I’m not a submissive with a lot of limits. When I look at a typical list of play activities, it’s quicker for me to list what I will not do rather than what I will. I’ve a soft limit with hoods and claustrophobia, I’ve a hard limit on humiliation, and I’ve a slightly screwed up lower back that makes extreme bondage positions tricky. That’s about it. Not a lot to remember. Yet multiple times in the last couple of years I’ve played with new dommes who, having been given this list, proceeded to flirt with activities that ran awfully close to these problem areas.

The last time it happened was a couple of months ago. It was my first time I’d played with this particular dominant. Not fifteen minutes into the session, and after my standard limits discussion, she pulled out a hood and asked if it’d be OK because it had both mouth and eye holes. Suddenly I’m thrown out of my happy subby mindset and into evaluation mode. How scary does it look? Can I handle it? Is it an integral part of the scene she wants to try? It would have been fine to show the hood pre-scene to get my opinion, but why bother suggesting it after we started to play? I ended up refusing and it made absolutely no difference to how the scene unfolded.

A similar thing happened towards the end of last year. It was again someone fairly new to me and, after mentioning my screwy back, she proceeded to try for a really awkward bondage position. She had me on my back on the floor, knees pulled up towards my shoulders and my arms pulled down towards where my feet would normally be. After pointing out that this wasn’t a great position for me she gave up on the plan, but it seemed so unnecessary to attempt it at all. Maybe we could have got it to work given time, but I estimate there are around three million and seven safe positions to tie me into, so why try for the tricky number three million and eight?

None of the examples (and I have multiple others) felt like deliberate attempts to break a boundary. It just seemed the limits discussion planted ideas, and that saying “Heavy X is a limit” somehow translated into “… but let’s do light X!”. This seems perverse to me, and not in the good way. Assessing intensity or risk is very hard with someone you don’t know. Much better to stay as far away as possible from potential minefields. Just because someone has handed you a map, doesn’t mean you need to go up to the minefield boundary and start jumping up and down. There’s no shortage of other interesting places to explore.

This artwork by Shohei Yamashiro manages to capture both hoods and an awkward position to bend a slave into. Now if you can just imagine she’s calling him a worthless fool, it’ll have nailed 3 of my personal limits.

Hooded kiss

Here’s something simple yet beautiful to start the weekend. A lovely blend of rope bondage, sensory deprivation and sweet sensuality. This is Mistress Juri from Ginza Prezis.

I originally stumbled across this image on the Sensual Fetish tumblr.

Caught in a rope web

I enjoyed some rope bondage with Lydia tonight and now I’m left with some beautiful rope marks across my torso. I was positioned on my back, but rather than simple anchor me at the wrists and ankles, Lydia used a number of ropes to enmesh by whole body. Everything was in tension, the ropes working against each other so I could constantly feel them hugging me. Typically I don’t struggle much in bondage, so I can sometimes almost forget that I’m tied up. There was no danger of that tonight, as every breath and twitch pulled against the web that held me.

The image below is obviously a suspension scene, which is a little different to mine, but I’m guessing he’ll also be left with some nice rope marks afterwards. The domme and rigger is Ms Tytania of London. You can see more image from the same session in this post. Suspension is always fun, but I particularly like the little teasing touch on his cock in this shot.

If you’d like the chance to enjoy some of Ms Tytania skills in person, her contact information is available here.

Altered states

This article has been popping up all over the web in the last few days, both on mainstream and kinky blogs. It describes research done on BDSM participants, testing their cognitive response to something called a Stroop task both before and after playing.

The results showed that people playing the pain-receiving role showed poorer Stroop task scores, which are seen with short-term reductions of functions in a part of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortexAmbler said. This region is linked to executive control, working memory and other higher-level functions.

The pain that comes with sadomasochistic sex may cause the brain to shunt blood flow away from this region, causing a subjectively altered state of consciousness — and the appeal of SM, Ambler said.

My initial response on reading this was on the lines of “Well duh!” Anyone who has experienced subspace and the discombobulation that comes along with that will attest to the altered states that kinky play can produce. I’m incredibly spacey and buzzy after my sessions, and can barely talk during them. I’d probably have difficult spelling my name during an intense play experience, let alone doing a Stroop test. However, I do like the fact that somebody is doing real clinical studies in this area. There’s lot of anecdotal commentary flying around about subspace (see this blog for one), but precious little that is grounded in quantifiable data. Even if those quantifiable measurements only involve 14 people in this particular case.

I’ll finish with a shot of a very kind and helpful lady guiding a gentleman towards his own particular altered state. I like the fact they’ve both sticking out their tongues, but for very different reasons.

I believe this is a kink.com shot, but I’ve no actual proof of that. I found it on the Superioridad Femenina tumblr.