Smoking – Femdom Resource

ESH

One of my guilty time wasting pleasures is reading Am I The Asshole on Reddit. It’s fun to sit in judgement on random strangers and boil complex situations down to one of the forums standard labels: NTA (Not The Asshole), YTA (You’re The Asshole), NAH (No Assholes Here) or ESH (Everyone Sucks Here).

I was reminded of it when reading this LA Time article on a relationship gone wrong thanks to undisclosed kinks. I’d say it’s clearly a case of ESH. The writer for being judgmental, snarky and unwilling to be GGG. Her ex for keeping his kinks quiet until months into the relationship and then dumping them all out. Both of them for bad communication.

I get that it’s pretty tough to share kinks when you’ve just started dating, but pushing the reveal out by months can never be a good plan. If they are potentially kinky then better to start communicating and having fun together sooner. If it’s a deal-breaker then there’s no need to waste everyone’s time. And, if you’re hoping someone’s need to maintain a relationship will persuade them to do things they don’t really want to, then YTA.

From the article it seemed like the sub was a fan of latex and fetishwear. So here’s an image in honor of that.

I found on an old tumblr site. From hunting around I believe that is the German domme Patrizia Von Bergfeld.

Bad Connections

I normally like being able to make new connections between old posts. This is sadly not one of those times.

Earlier this month I featured a surprisingly solid article from Cosmopolitan on nipple clamps. A few days before that I wrote a post entitled Beware Hijackers, warning of the dangers of the #MeToo movement being subverted by the anti-sex crowd. Today brings an unwelcome connection between these two things, with the news that Walmart has pulled Cosmopolitan from its checkout lines. This was apparently driven by a bunch of fuckheads called the ‘National Center on Sexual Exploitation’ who claimed that the sex articles in the magazine contributed to the #MeToo culture and the sexual harassment of women.

I don’t actually care too much about Cosmopolitan magazine per se, but I do care about the anti-sex crowd twisting #MeToo for their own ends. And I hate the puritanical attitude that seems to be rising in the US. I fear that this is just the start of it.

This is Edie Sedgwick, a model and actress, sitting on her manager Chuck Wein. She was one of Warhol’s superstars in the late 60’s. I don’t think she was ever in Cosmo, but she was covered in Vogue, and looked stunning. Sadly she died in 1971 from alcohol and drugs. Note that the link in the image doesn’t go anywhere useful.

Guns, Girls and Gauloises

I always find myself somewhat conflicted when I come to write about specialized femdom pornography that caters to certain fetish niches. On the one hand it’s undoubtedly true that there’s lack of good porn that captures the intimacy, sensuality and dynamics of femdom relationships. On the other hand, that doesn’t make the sites catering to the more classic fetish niches invalid. I might wish there were more good French restaurants in my town, but that doesn’t mean I should be mad at the Mexican restaurants. Particularly if they’re really good Mexican.

The latest site that prompted this thought process is Perfect Villainess. As its homepage makes clear, it has a very specific focus – the classic femme fatale. For members there are lots of image galleries (200+) of attractive ladies smoking, brandishing guns, flexing crops and offering the camera smoldering looks. If that’s your particular thing, then it’s worth checking out. It’s images only, and solo female only, but I think that works for these kind of classic shots.

In some ways this kind of site is the antithesis of what kinky porn used to be like 10+ years ago. I remember ‘kinky’ image photosets that would start with everyone in full fetish gear, and by image 7 of 100, everyone would be naked and screwing. That was very frustrating. Now it’s a lot easier to find quality sites to scratch specific fetish itches. I can only hope the complexity, depth and variety in those niches continues to grow.

This is Letizia from a gallery on Perfect Villainess. You can follow their tumblr here.

Note the owner of Perfect Villainess dropped me a note and asked if I’d be interested in taking a look at it. I didn’t get anything for writing about it, and I don’t get a cut of anyone who joins. I was just interested in featuring it.

Bad girls have all the fun

Britain and Japan are undoubtedly the two countries that produce the most porn featuring school uniforms. That’s not really surprising given they both have a strong mainstream culture of school uniforms, and childhood through to adolescence is doubtless a great time to work on building your personal fetishes. Most examples of the genre are of the schoolgirl in peril type, but there’s a fun niche featuring ‘bad girls’ doing mean things.

Here’s a nice entry into that particular niche. She’s got the requisite cigarette (always a sign of a troublemaker), the devil-may-care attitude, and the sloppily worn tie and blazer combination. I suspect the leather pants and realistic strap-on are sadly not part of the uniform guidelines.

I found this on the 24-7 Sub tumblr.

Ignorance is bliss?

When you spend as long as I do hanging out on sex positive blogs, it’s easy to forget just how much attitudes can vary outside that bubble. I was intrigued to stumble across this post quoting a Mormon on the subject of sexual compatibility. He was a virgin when he married, as was his wife, and he looks on that fact as a plus…

If we had “shopped around” or experienced sex with many different people, it would have ruined the beauty and simplicity of what we have.

I’m going to guess most of my readers will react as I initially did to this, which was to laugh and wonder how ignorance can possibly be a good thing. How can he make any kind of informed judgement? Maybe they’re having really bad sex and have no idea it should be any different.

But then it got me thinking about the relative nature of happiness. There are few absolutes when it comes to assessing satisfaction and quality of life. For example, studies have shown that when it comes to wealth, happiness isn’t related to the amount you earn, but how much you earn relative to your social circle. Being the ‘poor’ person in your group makes you unhappy, even if your absolute income is high. Knowledge in that case makes you unhappier. So if a couple are happy having mediocre sex, is that a bad thing? Are you better off not knowing what you’re missing out on?

Obviously the ideal state is to know for sure you’re having great sex! And as an information junkie, I think I’d always rather be informed, even if it made me more aware of problems. But it’s an interesting angle to ponder, particularly when I reflect back on life and the ‘might have been’ situations. I often feel regretful that I waited until my 30’s to act on my kinky inclinations. I feel I lost a decade or more where I could have been enjoying all BDSM has to offer. Yet, the knowledge of the pleasure it brings me has undoubtedly complicated my life. It makes dating and finding a suitable partner a lot harder for a start. Would I have been better off not knowing? Leaving that side of myself alone? Most of my friends have married over the last few years and started families. Could I have been happy in a vanilla relationship? Will I ultimately look back on my exploration of kink as a curse rather than a blessing? I hope not, but as Einstein observed, knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

The image is by the Scottish painter Jack Vettriano. A lot of his work has a sexual and kinky vibe to it, and he’s obviously got a fetish for 50’s costumes and high heels, although not typically with a femdom slant. There’s more background on him available in this article.

Size does matter!

Slogans on t-shirts tend to have only a very loose relationship with reality. I have a soft spot for my George Carlin one – “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups” – but in general they’re not a reliable source of information. In terms of credibility they rank somewhere between bumper stickers and Fox news. Although not necessarily in that order.

However, judging by the pictures below, it appears that Mistress Lana is someone who believes in living up to her clothing’s slogans. That’s a large cigar and an even larger strap-on. The featured gentleman looks a little perturbed. I hope for his sake the slogan on the back of the shirt is something like this.

Mistress Lana is a Moscow based pro-domme. If you find yourself in that part of the world, her session information is available here.

Site Updates

I’ve done a little site maintenance work. Hopefully there will be at least a few links of interest here for people.

To the Femdom Image page I’ve added:

To the BDSM Equipment page I’ve added:

Finally, to blogroll on the right and to the Blogs page I’ve added:

Client Nine And A Half
His Pain, Her Pleasure
Diary of a Dominatrix by Mistress Eleise de Lacy
PurrVersatility by Kitty Stryker

The image below is of Mistress Eleise de Lacy, whose blog has been added to the pro-domme section of my blogroll. It’s by the artist Ariel Belle and was featured in Sinical magazine. I’m a sucker for vintage re-creations that play with time, fashion and cultural eras as this shot does. Alternatively, if you prefer a more modern look, I was also tempted to feature this image and this image. I can’t imagine there are too many submissive guys who wouldn’t appreciate that pair of images. Feel free to browse in the direction of the Femme Fatale Films site if you’d like to see more.

Smoke

I don’t have a smoking fetish. I hate the smell of cigarettes. And yet, I have to admit, it can look pretty damn cool. It’s not just the swirling smoke patterns that look good. There’s something intrinsically cool about someone smoking with style.

Movies from the 40’s had a lot of great smoking scenes. Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall always stand out in my mind. For example, this scene and this scene from ‘To have and have not’. Alternatively, if you like your noir a little more modern, Rosario Dawson had a nice scene in Sin City.

I found this image on the Thou Shall Love Thy Mistress tumblr.

Spooky internet moment

Earlier this evening I poured myself a glass of wine and began browsing the archive pages of the Gorean Kajirus tumblr. It’s one of my favorite tumblrs to look at when I’m simply hunting for eye candy. The curator obviously puts a lot of effort into it, as there’s a huge amount of aesthetically and erotically interesting material. There’s beautiful women or all types, ripped guys in restraints, interesting bondage shots and fun BDSM play in many different flavors. There’s even the odd bit of auto porn.

And then, in the middle of all the visual loveliness, dear God, I spotted myself. Twice. That was a spooky internet moment. It’s one thing to appear on my own blog, or on a domme’s site. After all these shots started life on Domina Yuki’s tumblr, and I even spotted my torso on Lydia’s testimonial page the other day. However, it’s quite another sensation to stumble across them on a random tumblr. Particularly one which tends to the more aesthetic than the functional side of kink.

In the meantime, while I get over the weirdness, let me leave you with a couple of shots of genuine eye candy from that tumblr. The first I think is Goddess Miki, a pro-domme from LA who has been on my ‘to visit’ list for a while. I’ve no idea about a source for the second one.

Sophisticated Nipple Torture

Here’s another pair of images from a Japanese femdom blog. These are from the kazowk88 blog and were obviously shot a little more recently than the vintage images from a couple of days ago.

I’m not entirely familiar with the equipment, but it looks like some sort of suction pump that’s being used to stretch his nipples in the first shot. Then in the second shot she appears to have placed an elasticator around the stretched nipple, holding it engorged and taut. That may hurt a little when it’s in place, but I’m guessing it’ll be agony when it comes off.

I do like the casually dangling cigarette. It makes me think of a mechanic or workman going about a job, and adds a nice hint of objectification.