Tag: Vintage

More Opting In or Out

I’m continuing my thoughts from yesterday’s post – Opt In or Opt Out. If you haven’t read that already, then I’d start there, otherwise this won’t make much sense.

When it comes to scene negotiation, I think there’s a fundamental tension that’s challenging to resolve. On one hand everyone wants scope for creativity and spontaneity. Working out a strict plan of action beforehand or stopping every 5 minutes to discuss the next activity is no fun. On the other hand, people can have very different views on what activities need discussion and what don’t. It’s not so much a question of failing to negotiate, but failing to spot the need to negotiate. If I think hoods are an opt in item then I will not mention them, as I don’t think I need to explicitly bar them. If the domme thinks they’re an opt out item, then me saying nothing leaves them on the table as a viable option to stick over my head mid-scene.

I don’t have any great suggestions to resolving this tension, other than trial and error and playing with the same people repeatedly. A few things I try to do from the submissive perspective are assume that…

  • Any common themes in femdom and BDSM are things I have to explicitly opt out of. For example, I’m always explicit about ruling out humiliation scenes as that’s not my kink but it’s a common one.
  • My opt in’s are sticky. If I opted in to something in a past session, the domme is probably going to assume I’m still in for it, even if we haven’t discussed it. So if I’m feeling differently about it, then it’s down to me to bring it up and opt out.
  • Opting in for X may well be treated as also opting in for things closely related to X. For example, there are a lot of different types of impact play, yet they rarely get negotiated separately. If that’s a problem for me, then I need to be explicit about how narrow I want my opt in to be.
  • A domme isn’t going to remember my particular opt outs between sessions. So if I discover during the course of play we’re on different pages on what needs discussion and what doesn’t, then it’s down to me to bring that up again next time as necessary.

I’ll leave you with a vintage image of an activity that is opt in for most dommes I know. However, there was one domme who, mid-scene and totally out of the blue, tossed me a pair of fishnet stockings, a garter belt and a pair of frilly panties to put on. It turned out to be fun, but I was certainly a bit surprised at the time. I think she was equally surprised by just how long it took me to figure out how to get them all on properly.

This show is from mrunderheel’s twitter feed.

Shoe Fitting

Fetishism and repression always seem to go together. The more forbidden or subversive something is, the greater the thrill.

Take for example this Victorian illustration (found via the Whores of Yore twitter) of what I assume is a device for privacy when fitting shoes. I guess it’s supposed to separate the lady from the process of measuring and fitting the shoe, and hence make it a more mechanical and impersonal act. In actual fact it’s a foot fetishists dream. The gentleman involved is even sporting a lascivious grin.

It looks like the top of the device has some sort of crank system and the panel has a split across the middle. So does it separate and then close around her foot once it’s in the hole? If so, it’s even kinkier than it looks at first glance. It’s device bondage crossed with foot fetishism.

Complex Theological Issues

Here’s a final vintage pulp novel cover to complete my trio of posts featuring them. I’m definitely not a religious man, but even an atheist like myself can see this book clearly raises some challenging theological issues.

Firstly, there’s the whole Satan as a gay woman thing. Is that actually a progressive view? As John Oliver might say – #satanism #feminism. And then there’s the past tense aspect of the title. Is Satan now dead? Or still a woman but no longer gay? Or maybe trans? She’s definitely looking pretty masculine in the background of the cover drawing. For all the sexual and gender confusion, at least Satan is maintaining the tradition of villains with an evil goatee. It’s important to have standards.

Witches & Bitches

There are many things to like about this awesome vintage femdom magazine cover. My favorite is probably the line about “Here are sex witches; sex bitches; dominas; slaves of Satan.” Is it just me or is one of those things slightly out of place? It’s like opening a true crime magazine with “Here are serial killers, psychopaths, jaywalkers, murders…” Could they not think of four insanely over the top labels to use? How about freaky femdoms? The devils devious dominants? Lethal ladies of love? Sex crazed harlots from hell? If you’re going for trashy, you might as well go all out.

Show some link love

One unfortunate trend I spotted when refreshing my blogroll was the number of sites that don’t have a blogroll at all. I’m not sure if that’s a new trend, or an ongoing thing that I’ve just not noticed before. Either way, I’m not a fan.

A blogroll (or a links page) is the original version of Share Our Shit. In many ways, it’s a human version (in a very hand wavy way) of the classic Google PageRank alogrithm. If I like the writing of this blogger, there’s a good chance I’ll also like the stuff they read. Ironically, search engines themselves tend to suck at queries like “Femdom Blog”. I’d say 80% of the blogs I find come via links on other people’s blogs, with the other 20% from social media, comments or email.

So if you’ve got a blog, please put up links to other blogs you like and read. It can be a traditional blogroll or a separate page or whatever. Just show a little love to your fellow bloggers and gives your readers some interesting people to explore.

I’ve no idea what image goes with this kind of post, so here’s a sexy as hell shot of Sophia Loren, taken at her home in Rome in 1955. You’re welcome.

The Safeword is ‘Thief!’

This article title really captures the whole story – ‘Woman disguised as dominatrix ties man to his bed and robs him‘. Apparently a German man managed to get both financial domination and bondage packed into a single session. The bondage was consensual, but the 1800 Euro theft less so.

I can’t say I’ve ever been worried about theft, given I always play with well established professionals. However, I do sometimes wonder what would happen if something went wrong after I’ve been wrapped in rope. Often that thought strikes me as the domme is trying to balance in high heels while clambering around the bondage table several feet off the ground. I doubt I’d be much of a Houdini is there was a fall and I had to try and escape to get help for her.  Fortunately, another benefit of playing with experienced dommes is that they’re experts in maneuvering in impractical footwear.

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and predict that the thief in the original article is not an expert rigger. I picture the scene unfolding a little like this vintage bondage shot. She came equipped with rope and it was probably more clothesline than the specialized hemp based stuff.

I’m afraid I don’t know the creator of this image. For anyone who complains about the bondage in porn today, keep in mind that back in 70’s it was hard to find and looked like this when it did show up (so I’m told).

Bum Note

I don’t feature a lot of Femdom/Febsub imagery. That’s partly because as a man I don’t have a great understanding of that dynamic. It’s also partly because most of the images seems so fake and porn-y. Mostly it’s because images of female submission show up everywhere on tumblr and porn sites, and as a femdom blog, I don’t feel it’s an area I need to add to.

Having said all that, let me immediately contradict myself, and share this vintage Ff spanking picture (courtesy of Spanking Blog). It’s from the 1930’s but looks like it could have been shot just last week. The expressions and outfits push all my buttons. I’ll take that teacher’s outfit over a domme bristling with studs and leather any day of the week. Beautiful poses and and a lovely sexy behind.

Spanking during Violin Lesson

This is from Ostra Studios, a Paris based photography studio of the 30’s that was a spin off from Biederer Studios. The two brothers who created both studios were Jewish and died in Auschwitz in 1942. It’s hard to grasp that the human race can produce people of such beauty while simultaneously delivering those that would burn them to death.